SOLUTION 53
DEALING WITH DISAGREEMENTS
‘People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.’Abigail Van Buren
some people mix about as well as oil and water
It is impossible to get on with everyone all the time. A little conflict between team members need not necessarily be a bad thing and could be refocused into a competitiveness that can spur each on to greater achievement. However, disagreements can be counter-productive when individuals are constantly at each other’s throats.
WEAR YOUR MEDIATOR HAT
Telling people to stop having a problem does little good. When team members find it difficult to agree, it is your responsibility to help them find a way to resolve their differences. Reaching an agreement doesn’t necessarily mean that each side gets what it wants. Sometimes solutions are collaborative (all parties gain) and sometimes they involve compromise (all parties give something up). However, each side must feel satisfied with the solution, or the conflict remains. Mediation is most effective when you aim to:
• Focus on common goals and look for common ground to help you reach those goals.
• Treat all parties, and their viewpoints, with respect.
• Propose win-win solutions.
• Remain interested but impartial.
• Establish a process for assessing the success of the agreed-upon solutions.
mediate: to intervene to settle a dispute between two parties
RESOLVING CONFLICTS
Co-workers don’t have to be good friends; they just have to find ways of working with and around each other. If you are going to help people to negotiate their differences, you need both sides to establish:
A shared allegiance When both sides want to achieve the same outcomes, they’re often more willing to search for common ground.
Mutual respect Respect is the foundation for trust; people must respect each other before they can trust one another to fulfil the agreements they reach.
Open minds Each party must be willing to both talk and listen so that together they can explore possible solutions.
Willingness to change Obviously each individual believes that his or her perspective is valid and correct. After listening to each other and discussing the problems, both must be willing to change their positions to accommodate suggested solutions.
QUICK FIX: STRONG PERSONALITIES
Disagreements often occur when there are strong personalities on the team. You could try:
• Assigning them to different aspects of the team’s goals.
• Separating them physically if the work space allows you to.
• Temporarily swapping one with an individual from another team.