I Nailed the Premise and Log Lines—Now What?

A story synopsis is not just for script coverage or pitch fests. A story synopsis can be the next step to solidifying your story’s foundation and a successful launch into writing pages.

After a writer has learned the “7-Step Premise Development Process,” the obvious next question is, “What do I do next?” Presumably, you now have at least one workable premise and log line. Even if it is not in the best shape, you have worked the process and know you have a story or a situation, you know the Visible Structure components, you have a working moral component, and you may feel ready to start pages. And you have probably started pages on earlier scripts with a lot less in place than you have now, so where’s the harm, right? The fact is, you could start pages, if you really wanted to. Regardless of how strong or weak your premise line might be, you probably have a stronger foundation now than ever before at this stage of your writing process. While some screenwriters prefer to dive in at this point and get the writing done, I would strongly suggest you wait. There is value in delaying a shift to script pages, and focusing instead on short synopsis writing.

The Case for a Short Synopsis

Screenwriters are familiar with synopses, as are novelists. But few screenwriters see synopses as part of the development process. Synopses are meant for readers, or agents, or producers that you are trying to pitch for a job or a sale. Or they are meant for script submission websites, where you upload your script for social networking, crowdfunding, or script competition purposes (e.g., Amazon Studio, The Black List, or contest sites). All these, and more, can be leveraged by a good synopsis, but a synopsis can also be powerful next step in your script’s development.

I should mention here that many screenwriters, when they get to this point in the development process, rely on a tried-and-true method for breaking out their stories: the index card method. There are many books and Internet resources that detail how to use this method of script outlining. I use it myself and love it. Basically, you take a standard index card and write a slug line at the top to identify what scene you are in, and then add a short few sentences under the slug line describing the action of the scene, and maybe a line or two of important dialogue that might happen in the scene. You do this for every scene in your script and then arrange them in order on a corkboard using pins to hold the cards in place. You can then rearrange, delete, or add to the cards as required to get the perfect flow and pace of scenes. This is an incredibly low-tech tool, and one of the best screenwriting (or novel-writing) tools you could imagine. While you could ignore all other solutions, including synopsis writing, and just jump right into using index cards, I recommend you first do a short synopsis, for the following three reasons:

1. Your first-draft script is meant to be read. In other words, you are not writing a movie, you are writing a piece of prose that a reader will read as a piece of prose. Yes, the script has to use the language of film and follow the standard conventions of screenplay format, but you as the writer are trying to catch a reader first, not a director or an actor. You want your first draft to be a great reading experience; consequently, you want it to flow like a piece of writing, using all the prose tricks and techniques you can to pull your reader in and hook them. Writing a short synopsis helps you find your prose voice quickly, and you can then translate this to index cards or some other outlining tool as you see fit. Jumping in with index cards first often results in “script speak,” short truncated scene descriptions and scenes that read like shorthand, not engaging prose. Even if you are going for a shorthand kind of style with your writing, as a means of breaking conventions and establishing your style apart from other writers, you still want the prose of a synopsis to inform that style. Consider the examples of Walter Hill (Alien, uncredited), Alexander Jacobs (Point Blank), and Andrew Stanton (Wall-E). These writers all use a style of writing that is anything but prose-like, but it still possesses the effect of a prose sensibility. “Prose” in this context does not mean Marcel Proust or William Faulkner, i.e., long ponderous sentences with deep embedded meaning. Nothing will get your script filed in the round file at a production company faster than scene descriptions written like a 18th-century romance novelist. Prose can also be short, powerful, pithy sentence fragments that convey movement, emotion, and imagery (like Hill, Jacobs, and Stanton). Writing a synopsis can give you those fragments, emotions, and images in a way index cards or other methods may not readily accomplish.
2. The second reason for writing a short synopsis first is that you get an important deliverable that you can use to support your writing and promotion efforts. The script will take you many months to write. The synopsis will take you a couple of weeks to write. And unlike the index card method for breaking your story, which yields every scene in your script, a synopsis doesn’t need every scene identified. “All” you need are the major structure milestones, reversals, complications, set pieces, and character moments, as we’ve identified them in previous chapters. With a synopsis in hand, you can “pre-sell” your script and promote yourself and your writing to producers and potential stakeholders. You don’t have to have your script finished in order to gather interested parties and get them on board as potential partners.
3. The third reason does not speak to the need for doing a synopsis first thing, but does speak to the need for a long synopsis (10–20 pages), the kind routinely used by novelists. More and more screenwriters are discovering that to be successful as a writer means expanding their horizons as writers. Screenwriters have discovered that the rise of e-books, which have been evolving in the publishing industry over the last few years, signifies a sea change of opportunity, not just for novelists, but for screenwriters as well. Many screenwriters are choosing to take their legacy—unpublished screenplays—and adapt them to novels for self- or subsidy publishing. Even traditional publishers are hungry for new material, especially if the writer has worked in the film or television industries as a writer. Publishers and book agents almost always ask for a detailed synopsis along with a formal book proposal when considering new acquisitions or clients. Their requirements, however, are more stringent than film producers or studio creative executives. They want long and detailed synopses that can sustain a 280–350 page novel. Even for shorter works they want more substance and less flash. For a novel, unlike a screenplay, a synopsis must mention just about every major scene, and some novel synopses run thirty pages. A synopsis has to show the agent or editor that you know how to tell a story with a beginning, middle, and end. It has always been this way for novelists.

Any smart screenwriter knows that in the 21st century to have a viable career as a writer, he or she needs to be writing in multiple platforms across different industries. The days of “just being a novelist,” or “just being a screenwriter” are over. A synopsis for the New York Times bestselling novel Pictures of You, by Caroline Leavitt, is included in Appendix B. The format is different from screenplay synopses, but it is instructive and worth reviewing, especially if you are considering branching out into writing novels or adapting your unproduced scripts (which I highly recommend).

The Synopsis Process

The short synopsis is your first opportunity to translate your premise line into a real narrative. If you can get the flow of the synopsis to reflect the structure of your hard-won premise line, then you know you have hit your mark and are on solid ground. If the synopsis doesn’t come easily, or feels forced to write (based on your premise line), then one of two things is happening: the premise line is wrong, or you are focusing on minutia and not on the big-picture story structure that tells the story. You will readily see, given your experience now with premise development and your understanding of the Invisible Structure, whether it is the former problem or the latter.

We will assume that the premise is in good shape. The idea now is to break out the structure of your story into a more determined form, i.e., to make it more visible. To do this, you will need to use the second structure you need to tell a story: the Visible Structure. The Invisible Structure revealed the core structure of your story, and you used the “Anatomy of a Premise Line” template tool to map that Invisible Structure into a usable and practical form, i.e., the premise line.

The synopsis is a more detailed expression of the Visible Structures of your story. So, to realize this in an actual narrative you have to know what you’re looking for. You have to create actual scenes that illustrate all of the structure components held within your premise line. The job now is to expand and unpack the riches held within your incredible premise line. To facilitate this process, you can use the “Short Synopsis Worksheet (blank)” (see Appendix A for the hard copy or Appendix C for the website where you can download the electronic version). It walks you through each of these Visible Structure components in the context of your premise line, and then prompts you to come up with actual scenes illustrating them in action. This is challenging but critical as a first step in writing your script. All this story structure, premise writing, and synopsis writing are designed to get you into a space where you trust your story and its flow so that you are not writing blind. Imagine starting pages and never having any of this premise and structure work under your belt. You would almost certainly be lost in the woods after the first fifty pages.

How to Use the “Short Synopsis Worksheet”

Beginning a synopsis can be as intimidating as starting your script pages. Many a time I have found myself staring at the blank page, unable to write, my head so filled with first sentences that I couldn’t decide which to write down. Writer’s block for some—but not really. As you will learn in the very last chapter in this book, writer’s block is a myth and doesn’t exist, but the experience of it can seem real enough. The solution—the breaking of the “block”—lies in falling back on craft, and specifically your knowledge of story structure. That is what gave birth to the synopsis-writing process I am showing you below.

The “Short Synopsis Worksheet” Exercise

There are four forms used for this exercise. These can all be downloaded from the e-Resources/Companion website URL listed in Appendix C. They are also listed in hard copy form in Appendix A and B.

As you fill out your blank worksheet, you will use everything you have developed to this point to take the next step and begin the actual narrative of your story. If you feel blocked, fear not—the Invisible and Visible Structures, and the supplied worksheets, will come to the rescue. Even if you can’t fill the form out exactly, the questions asked on the “Short Synopsis Worksheet” will get you thinking structurally about how to write your story, and guide you through some of the main story milestones every synopsis needs. The important point to remember is to try to come up with actual scenes that reflect each of the premise line clauses. These scenes are the “stuff” that will make your synopsis a story and not just an intellectual exercise filling in blanks on a form. Try for two to three scenes per clause and try to have them be visual scenes that show in action the Visible Structure elements related to that clause. The scenes don’t have to be in any order here, and you don’t have to do three, but you need enough to fuel 3–6 pages of narrative. Be careful not to get caught up in descriptions, minutiae, irrelevant filler like backstory, etc. Just address the Visible Structure components in action scenes between characters. It may be helpful for you to take some time and review the synopsis example document and the “Short Synopsis Worksheet Example” in Appendix B. They will show you how the worksheet relates to an actual synopsis narrative, or you can just dive in and begin.

Filling in the “Short Synopsis Worksheet”

The form is broken into four sections, one for each of the four premise clauses: protagonist clause, team goal clause, opposition clause, and dénouement clause. Each section prompts you for specific Visible Structure data that can help you connect your narrative dots and flesh out the story structurally. Again, this isn’t about getting into the minutiae of every scene, but only the big-picture story beats needed to tell the story. If you don’t feel confident identifying what a “big-picture story beat” is, don’t worry. This is a craft skill that comes with time and experience. The more you do, the easier it will become.

Short Synopsis Worksheet Example

• Project: Green Gloves (screenplay by Jeff Lyons)
• Genre: Family Drama, Sports (Boxing)

Premise Line:

When Belfast heavyweight contender MICKEY KERRY, obsessed with becoming the Northern Ireland Area Heavyweight champ, is approached by reigning champ BARNEY WILSON for a title fight, Mickey joins with BEN, his manager, to secretly prepare for the fight of his life, hiding the truth of his terminal illness from everyone, while trying to set his wife JANE up in her own business so she and Mickey Jr. won’t be homeless when he dies. Jane discovers Mickey’s scheme and kicks him out, turning to a potential suitor, INIS, who is ready to step in and replace Mickey. When Mickey loses the Wilson fight, he is exposed as a liar, and in desperation arranges a winner-take-all bout with his worst nemesis, knowing it will lead to his death—he wins the fight, wins back Jane, and saves his family from ruin, after buying Jane her dream sandwich shop—only to succumb to his illness on Boxing Day, 1967, after spending the best Christmas of his life with his family.

Write the “Protagonist” clause (Character-Constriction: Protagonist-Moral Component):

When Belfast heavyweight contender MICKEY KERRY, obsessed with becoming the Northern Ireland Area Heavyweight champ, is approached by reigning champ BARNEY WILSON for a title fight…

Constricting Event (moves them from life line to action line):

• Mickey and Ben (Mickey’s manager) are approached by the area champ, Barney Wilson, for a title fight.

Moral Blind Spot:

• Mickey’s blind spot is infidelity: the sin of lying and manipulating others as a result. He’s also obsessed with winning the title. This fuels his tendency to lie.

Belief Under the Blind Spot:

• “If people know the truth about me, I’ll lose everything.” This is a fear he has battled all his life, the fear of truly being seen. What will they see? Someone weak and unworthy of love.

Immoral Effect (show in action):

• Mickey lies to Jane about the Wilson fight, his job situation, and his terminal illness. Also lies to Ben about his illness.

Scenes:

Scene 1: Constricting Event (Call to Action/Key Incident/Inciting Incident/Whatever):

• Mickey meets with his doctor who tells him he’s got a few years to live if he stops boxing, a few months if he continues. Mickey tells doctor he can’t tell anyone, not even his wife; if truth gets out, he’ll never be able to get a fight. So, he consciously keeps this secret for selfish reasons.

Scene 2: Moral Blind Spot Revealed (the moment we first see the blind spot appear)

• Ben and Mickey are approached by Barney Wilson’s camp with an offer to fight a title bout. They are invited to a secret meeting with Wilson’s inner circle to quietly plan the fight. First consequential reveal of his lying (i.e., keeping a secret) to Jane.

Scene 3: Immoral Effect in Action (in addition to the reveal in scene 2)

• Jane, who hates boxing, reminds him that they have a deal: Ten years—if he didn’t have the title after ten years he had agreed to give up the fight game and live a normal life. He lies to her and says he’s working as a car dealer (having lost that job and not telling her) and has no plans to fight and only wants to give her the private business she’s always wanted.
• Later, after the losing the Wilson fight, Ben discovers Mickey has lied to him all this time about being sick, and he feels betrayed and confronts Mickey.

Write the “Team Goal” clause (Desire-Relationship: Chain of Desire-Focal Relationship):

Mickey joins with Ben, his manager, to secretly prepare for the fight of his life, hiding the truth of his terminal illness from everyone, while trying to set his wife Jane up in her dream business so she and little Mickey Jr. won’t be homeless when he dies…

Chain of Desire (Overall goal and smaller “link” goals supporting the overall goal, if you know them):

• Overall goal: To buy Jane her sandwich shop and make her secure for the future financially, when Mickey’s dead and gone.
• Link goal: Beat Wilson and win the title and the huge purse; save the day.
• Link goal: Beat O’Reily and win the purse; save his family.
• Link goal: Convince Inis to marry Jane, if he dies in the ring.
• Link goal: Teach Mickey Jr. how to fight, so he can take care of himself when Mickey is gone.

Focal Relationship or Teaming (Who’s spending the most time with the protagonist during the middle of the story?):

• Jane and Ben (Mickey’s manager) alternate this role together throughout the middle of the story.

Scenes:

Scene 1: Overall Goal Revealed

• After a successful fight and ensuing celebration, Mickey drives Jane past an available storefront in the local business district to see that the store is still for sale, with Mickey leading her on that he intends to make Jane’s dream of having her own business come true (for him and her).

Scene 2: Focal Relationship Established

• Through back channels, Ben is approached about the Wilson fight and he tells Mickey. They both go to a secret meeting and strike a deal to do the fight. The partnership is sealed between Ben and Mickey.
• Jane opens the story already in relationship with Mickey.

Write the “Opposition” clause (Adventure-Resistance: Opposition-Plot & Momentum):

…until Jane discovers Mickey’s scheme and kicks him out, turning to a potential suitor, INIS, who is ready to step in and replace Mickey. When Mickey loses the Wilson fight, he is exposed as a liar…

Who is the opponent/antagonist?

• Jane is the main antagonist/opponent. Other opponents are “outside” opponents: Wilson, Inis, O’Reily, Arnone, and Ben, with Ben being the central one of those.

What is at stake at the midpoint overall?

• If the Wilson fight goes bad, or Mickey dies, everyone loses his or her dreams.

What is at stake for the protagonist at midpoint?

• Mickey could die; he could lose his marriage; he could lose the fight.

What is the Doom Moment (at about 3/4-way through the story)?

• Mickey has lost the Wilson fight, lost Jane, alienated his family, alienated Ben, and lost all hope.

Scenes:

Scene 1: Introduction of Opponent/Main Antagonist

• Opening scene with Mickey fighting Rufus Bigalow in the Belfast Hall. Jane is the only woman in an all-male audience; she later joins him after the fight in the locker room and we see the tension in the relationship, but also the love.

Scene 2: Midpoint Stakes (overall stakes rise)

• Wilson’s manager, Ricky Smyth, meets with Mickey and Ben to seal the deal for the fight with Wilson; now all are committed to success or failure.

Scene 3: Midpoint Stakes (protagonist’s stakes rise)

• Estranged from Jane, Mickey sees that Inis (the local cop) is getting very friendly with his wife, and Jane is not discouraging him. Mickey realizes he’s very close to losing her because of his decision on Wilson.

Scene 4: Doom Moment

• Mickey loses the Wilson fight and is nearly killed. Jane is closer to Inis than she is (publically) to Mickey, and Mickey has lost all hope of the title and saving his family’s future. His lie about his health is also exposed to Ben for the first time, and this is another emotional blow to Mickey. He is truly alone.

Write the “Dénouement” clause (Adventure-Change: Plot & Momentum-Evolution-de-Evolution):

…and in desperation arranges a winner-take-all bout with his worst nemesis, O’Reily, knowing it will lead to his death—he wins the fight, wins back Jane, and saves his family from ruin, after buying Jane her dream sandwich shop—only to succumb to his illness on Boxing Day, 1967, after spending the best Christmas of his life with his family.

How does the protagonist change (what does he learn about his moral blind spot)?

• Mickey finally stops lying and is exposed and vulnerable. He is no longer driven by ambition to hide perceived weakness. He realizes he can be himself and be worthy of love.

Final resolution with main antagonist (and minor opposition)

• Mickey confronts O’Reily in the ring during the winner-take-all fight, and Jane comes to the stadium to confront him about his illness and to tell him it’s more important he live than win and they fall back in love at ringside.

Protagonist’s change in action (how is he/she going to act differently now?)

Scenes:

Scene 1: How the protagonist changes.

• Mickey decides to go see Inis and convince him to be with Jane during his winner-take-all fight with O’Reily. This is implicit permission from him to Inis to get ready to step into Mickey’s place as her husband because he doesn’t expect to survive this fight. Until this point all his motives have been colored by ambition to achieve, but now it’s not about him, it’s about something bigger than him.

Scene 2: What does the final confrontation look like?

• Mickey confronts O’Reily in the ring during the winner-take-all fight, and Jane (main antagonist) comes to the stadium to confront Mickey about his illness and to tell him it’s more important he live than win.

Scene 3: How does the protagonist’s change show itself in action in the end?

• Mickey tells Jane the truth, he’s fighting for her now, not anything else, and that “sometimes dreams really do come true,” meaning that his dream of having her safe and secure is all he cares about, and that’s the real truth. They fall back in love at ringside.

This is how you fill out the “Short Synopsis Worksheet.” You should be able to see how this form will help you take your high-level premise line and begin to break it out into scene-specific story beats that can eventually inform all your further development efforts, be they index cards or pages themselves. After you work on this form and get it into shape, once you feel ready to tackle the actual synopsis, then you translate all this story data into narrative.

Review the “Full Short Synopsis Example with Notes” in depth, as it shows you (in the right column comments) how to tie the content back to the work you did on the “Short Synopsis Worksheet.” Here are some key points to keep in mind as you expand your worksheet into a full-fledged synopsis:

• Keep the voice third person, present tense. You want the story to sound immediate and active, and have the same voice and tense as a standard screenplay. Third person, present tense is the voice/tone used in the example document.
• Double-space the synopsis section. The log line and premise line sections should be single spaced.
• Keep to the points; meaning, take your scenes and let them build toward milestones (beats lead to sequences of scenes, lead to milestones). This synopsis is “just the facts ma’am.” Fight the tendency to wax poetic about locations, character descriptions, backstory, etc. Just write to the structure points as you’ve identified them in the worksheet.
• Don’t include dialogue—not in this short version.

What follows next are the first couple of pages of the Green Gloves full short synopsis. The full synopsis is included in the appendix for reference. Once again, you can compare the worksheet example above with the “Full Short Synopsis Example with Notes” and look at the right column comments to find where they correspond back to this sample. This will be very instructive for how to flow your own content. Notice that not all the correspondences are sequential in the text. Meaning, some of it gets a bit out of sync in terms of the linear progression on the worksheet. This is fine; I don’t want you blindly following the list of “to-dos” on the worksheet and just plopping them in sequence into the synopsis. Make the prose flow; let it be natural. Tell the story. This is actually the time to do creative writing and stop all the process-procedure, seven-step this and seven-step that stuff. Now you get to write!

Project: Green Gloves, (screenplay by Jeff Lyons)

Genre: Family Drama, Sports (Boxing)

Type: Short Synopsis

Log Line:

A 1960s Irish heavyweight contender, with a terminal illness, fights one last bout to save his family from ruin, knowing the fight will kill him.

Premise Line:

When Belfast heavyweight contender MICKEY KERRY, obsessed with becoming the Northern Ireland Area Heavyweight champ, is approached by reigning champ BARNEY WILSON for a title fight, Mickey joins with BEN, his manager, to secretly prepare for the fight of his life, hiding the truth of his terminal illness from everyone while trying to set his wife JANE up in her own business so she and Mickey Jr. won’t be homeless when he dies. Jane discovers Mickey’s scheme and kicks him out, turning to a potential suitor, INIS, who is ready to step in and replace Mickey. When Mickey loses the Wilson fight, he is exposed as a liar, and in desperation arranges a winner-take-all bout with his worst nemesis, knowing it will lead to his death—he wins the fight, wins back Jane, and saves his family from ruin, after buying Jane her dream sandwich shop—only to succumb to his illness on Boxing Day, 1967, after spending the best Christmas of his life with his family.

Synopsis:

ANCIENT ARENA—A boxing match is underway in the style of the first Olympics: naked, brutal, bloody, to the death. MELANKEMOS, “The Untouched Boxer,” fights a bloody, broken fighter. The broken boxer is unrecognizable. Melankemos benevolently looks down on the broken boxer, who now takes on a recognizable face, MICKEY KERRY. Mickey looks up to Melankemos in fear. He hears the crowd shouting for Melankemos to end it. Melankemos looks down to Mickey silently as if to ask, “Ready?” Mickey hesitates and then nods, yes. Melankemos smiles, but not malevolently; mercifully, as he raises his fist. The arena grows silent. Only the wind can be heard. Mickey closes his eyes. Melankemos’s fist moves rapidly in to strike him.

BELFAST, IRELAND 1967—MICKEY KERRY comes to on the mat, waking from being knocked out. He’s in a fight with Rufus Bigalow, a fight Mickey intends to win. Determined, he gets back up and makes short work of Bigalow, to the crowd’s delight, flashing his trademark green boxing gloves. Mickey’s wife, JANE, finds it hard to be upbeat about the win; she’s tired of the fight game and wants him to quit. During the post-fight party, Jane reminds him of their deal. If after ten years he was not world champ, he would hang up his gloves and they would live a normal life; well, ten years are up. Jane expects him to abide by their agreement.

After the party, Mickey drives Jane past her dream location for a small sandwich shop she wants to open, and she gets very wistful about “dreams coming true.” They both know the store is beyond their means to buy, but keeping this dream alive helps deflect Jane away from Mickey’s fight ambitions, so he doesn’t discourage her dreaming, in fact, he makes a strong suggestion she should expect a miracle.

Visiting his doctor, Mickey pees red into a cup. His doctor tells him he’s got months to live if he keeps fighting; years if he quits and settles down. Mickey knows no one would fight him if they knew he was terminally ill, so he decides to hide the truth from everyone, including Jane and his manager, BEN. He’s not sure what to do: fight or give up.

But when Barney Wilson’s team approaches Ben and Mickey about a possible title fight, all bets are off for Mickey; he makes his choice at last.

(The entire synopsis can be found in Appendix B, “Examples.”)

Synopsis writing can be the next step in your development process, after the premise and log lines have been created. You don’t have to do synopsis writing next, but I highly recommend it, as it informs all your other writing and development efforts, and gives you a useful promotion tool—before you have a final draft.