PRACTICE

2

EMBRACING AUTHENTICITY

By definition, your authenticity is your competitive advantage. Nobody can be you the way that you can be you.

—Carla Harris, Vice Chair, Managing Director and Senior Client Advisor, Morgan Stanley

OFTEN OR ALWAYS? SHOWING UP AS GENUINE YOU

You may have heard authenticity is a necessary trait for leadership effectiveness. Current trends would say that without it, our growth and impact are significantly limited. On the surface, it might seem that a consensus exists about the meaning of authenticity; there is indeed widespread agreement that authenticity refers to that which is “real,” “genuine,” or “true.” Below the surface, however, there is much less agreement, so you might find yourself confused about what natural characteristics and behaviors you should put forth. Depending on which social science they represent, researchers and scholars define authenticity differently and the definitions range greatly. In marketing and brand management, authenticity has become such an everyday term that it is used to describe products and services ranging from food and drink to artistic expression. But when it comes to us as individuals, and how we choose to express our own authenticity, those definitions are more directional than actionable; it is up to each of us to define our own version of authentic being, in general and in the workplace. Being our authentic self doesn’t mean we eschew filters and boundaries in our self-expression. It means we approach any challenge or opportunity from our best and most transparent self.

So how do you want to embrace authenticity?

In Practice 1, we led you into the arrive and thrive arena with best self, which in itself may imply that you are ready to be your genuine authentic best self. However, there is a lot to consider regarding the significance and application of authenticity in the real world, your real world, every day. Especially as the Covid-19 pandemic forced most of us to pivot dramatically from a physical to virtual presence and, in turn, impacted how we show up and the expectations around that. We held critical meetings both large and small, conducted individual check-ins, and even onboarded new employees—perhaps with backdrops splashed with children’s toys, lounging or disruptive pets, and sanitized packages freshly delivered. For many, these times were bonding; for others, they were awkward and uncomfortable.

In offering practical, lived perspectives and the freshest and most innovative thinking on the topic, our invitation to you is to think more intentionally about embracing authenticity in any environment. Let us explain:

Over the course of your career, you may have thought about authenticity and wondered: If the job I can never fail at is being myself, why does it seem to be a struggle sometimes? The seemingly simple advice to “be your authentic self” has many leaders confused. Is vulnerability really required if you wish to be real and, if so, how might that impact professional credibility? In a world where gender and other biases still often (thankfully not always) prevail, how can women be themselves, and what happens when they aren’t?

WHAT YOU BRING OF YOURSELF MATTERS

If, like us, you agree with the fabulous and inspiring Carla Harris, vice chair, managing director, and senior client advisor at Morgan Stanley, your authenticity is your “competitive advantage. Nobody can be you the way that you can be you.”

Gail Boudreaux, president and CEO of Anthem, has some salient advice on this topic. She says,

Speak out and do things that you truly believe in, that are tied to your value base, and you have to stay true to it. You can’t have a PR agent define that for you. Certainly, people can help you frame issues, but this is not something you can delegate to others. It’s immediately noticeable. One of the areas people point to or not. They know if you are authentic. You have to speak with your own voice and how you come across. The year of 2020 is a great example. As difficult and as transformational as that year was, it didn’t teach leadership—it highlighted it. It allowed individuals to rise based on natural instinct and what drives us that makes us who we are.

No matter where you stand on the authenticity spectrum, it’s safe to say that authenticity with people you know well is one thing. Authenticity on a broader platform is something very different. In essence, developing the confidence to be yourself in a big, visible job, openly sharing what matters to you personally and professionally, may be a real breakthrough for your leadership impact. We concur with Gail: authenticity matters.

Your goal as we go deeper into this practice of embracing authenticity is to discover your own depth and breadth of what makes you the real you in how you show up every day. Inevitably, your discovery and application will enable you to bring out your best self and inspire others to be their best self, too.

It’s not a revelation: there are many leaders who progress in organizational leadership who are not authentic. They may be concerned with looking good and thus comfortable adopting a persona that’s not really them. You likely know leaders who behave in this and other ways who simply can’t build trust with others inside their organization. They leave a wake behind them and often can do real damage. Former CEO and chairman of Medtronic and author of the bestselling book True North, Bill George says: “If you want to be effective as a leader, then you must be an authentic leader. If you are not authentic, the best people won’t want to work with you, and they won’t give you their best work.”

AUTHENTICITY AND CHANGING TIMES: JANET’S PERSONAL ACCOUNT

The conversation today around “bringing your authentic self to work” is much broader than what it was when I started my career.

When I “grew up,” the term authenticity was not a word used in conversation at all. Far from it. The expectation was that you were bringing your “work self” to work, not necessarily your “whole self.” In recent years, the art of being authentic has become very front and center. And as I reflect honestly about my behavior, I’ve always been my authentic self, but I wasn’t necessarily trying to be. Let me explain: I didn’t grow up in a business environment, so I didn’t know how to be anything but me. Said differently, I have had the privilege to lead in a way that wasn’t overly worried about fitting a perfect norm or deliberately conforming to one. One way this showed up is how I connected with my teams. Instead of “happy hours,” I was more inclined to organize “healthy hours” at the local gym or out for a walk. Instead of entertaining my teams over a round of golf and lunch at the club, I would host BBQs at my house with my young children present. I was being myself, and as a result, inadvertently shifting some norms.

I didn’t know how to do anything different, in large part, because I didn’t look, walk, or talk like many of my colleagues. In fact, when I was promoted to CEO, I got a lot of really wonderful congratulatory emails that I saved in a folder in case I ever needed cheering up—and one I obsessed over because it seemed a little backhanded. It congratulated me for “doing it my way.” I kept wondering: What did he mean by that? How else was I supposed to do it? But eventually, I realized he meant I was successful not in spite of the way I led, but because of it. Perhaps the delta between what was considered “the norm” and me was so distant that it made it that much more natural to be me. That being said, I did quickly come to understand where some of the lines were, where some of the challenges lay, and how important it is, especially for women, to be thoughtful about embracing authenticity.

Both men and women have to remain sensitive to levels of professionalism as it relates to authenticity in the workplace. We have seen women less comfortable being authentic, and less willing to share the things they have grappled with personally and professionally. This has been true for us at times in our careers as well. Take the role of nurturer. We as women may inherently possess this trait, but it can also be expected of us, not just at home, but at work too—yet not valued as contributing to “real work.” As a result, we tend to overcompensate in other ways, which could lead to moments of inauthenticity. The willingness to share of ourselves in contextually appropriate and honest ways is so important for building followership and building the next generation of leaders. In a survey Deloitte conducted on “covering”—a term coined in 1963 to describe how individuals with identities that are known to be stigmatized made a great effort to keep the stigma from looming large—countless respondents noted the impact that authenticity from an organization’s top levels could have on their own openness and honesty. As one respondent put it, “Leaders have to uncover first. If they don’t, we won’t.” As former chairman and CEO of PepsiCo Indra Nooyi shared with us, “It takes more effort to be inauthentic than it does to be authentic. If you are authentic, you are just one persona. If you’re not, in every meeting, you’re thinking ‘what percentage do I show this time?’ Why bother? Just forget it. Be yourself.”

My own experience is that I evolved into broader leadership roles and found myself leading and working with people spread across multiple cities that I didn’t know personally. As a response, I demonstrated an overabundance of formality in the manner in which I communicated and didn’t talk about myself personally. This was true until I experienced a humorous, unintended breakthrough years ago that still has impact today.

One of my team members was at my house videotaping a holiday message to be shared with the broader practice. My husband and I had just built a DIY ice-skating rink in our backyard so family, including my kids who were eight at the time, could skate and play hockey. As such, my colleague said with great enthusiasm, “You need to share this!” I inherited his enthusiasm when he snapped a bunch of pictures. How could it hurt? Even though the backyard rink was in the “family” category of topics, it was light and sublime (perhaps code for can’t be misinterpreted or stamped “weakness”). In those days, I had a strategy of writing and sharing “three-minute” messages with my team and encouraged other leaders to do the same with their teams.

That week, I opened my message with the skating rink narrative and picture to create intimacy with this large group of people. I painted the picture of kids skating in the backyard and how that created a very different family dynamic. We as parents appreciated our children’s enthusiasm for Chicago winters; they appreciated us as parents for pursuing such an out-of-the-box experience. It was quite analogous to what we as a team were trying to achieve with our client. It was so easy, so noncontroversial, and to this day, people ask me about my skating rink and remember that message with such clarity. It made me human. It made me connected to something familiar. And when we get to know each other on a personal level better, it can make for higher-performing teams because you are more invested in each other to enable better collaboration and teamwork. It still makes me smile to this day because not only did this feel-good story stick; it brings back wonderful personal memories.

Another example a bit later on my leadership journey is what I like to call “the most important meeting I ever missed.” At the time, my organization was in the middle of a significant acquisition that later would become core to our digital practice. We were to show up and bring our best selves to the soon-to-be-acquired agency offices on the West Coast. When I informed one of my leaders on the project that I was going to call in instead, let’s just say this colleague was not exactly thrilled with me. But that meeting happened to be the same day as my twins’ first day of high school. And every year since kindergarten, we’ve taken first day of school pictures on our porch. Did my twins care whether I was home to take their picture? They would never say that they did. But I did. And when I was done, I got on the call and told them exactly why I was 30 minutes late and still in Chicago. My team had it under control, the deal went through, and I got my picture. Two years later, I found myself at dinner with the leaders of that company. They told me that coming from a small, creative agency they were really nervous about joining “the suits” at our large organization. And they loved that I skipped the meeting. And the reason why? By choosing to spend that time with my family, it sent a strong signal to them that the organization they were joining is a place that encourages its people to be true to themselves and their values.

Imagine yourself as that effective leader who everyone wants to work with. Imagine embracing authenticity with intention and ease and bringing your whole self to work. What might be afforded to you? How might your performance improve? What would be possible for those around you? How can you be you and, at the same time, mitigate the perceived and real professional risks associated with embracing authenticity?

WHAT DOES EMBRACING AUTHENTICITY MEAN?

At the 2021 Simmons Leadership Conference, 6,725 registrants received a survey about the importance of authenticity in the workplace. Susan and Lynn and their colleagues at the Simmons University Institute for Inclusive Leadership wanted to know what people think authenticity really means and what its impact is on individuals and organizations. The survey respondents helped clarify the top 10 qualities and behaviors for being authentic at work, helping bring sharper meaning to the definition.

A key finding from this research is that people define authenticity in the workplace in terms of ethical integrity. Qualities such as honesty and behaviors such as owning mistakes were prioritized. Respondents were asked to think of someone in their life who is authentic, and then share the three qualities that make that person authentic. Respondents did not choose from prompts, but rather provided their own spontaneous list of words or phrases via open-ended questions.

•   By a significant margin, honesty was cited as the top-most important personal quality defining an individual’s authenticity.

•   Arguably, transparency and openness are subsets of honesty, and combined, these three words (honest, transparency, and openness) represent 41 percent of all responses.

•   Confidence was the next most cited quality of authenticity. Current narratives around women and confidence support this quality’s connection to honesty and truthfulness: “If I am confident, people don’t question who I am.” “I don’t doubt myself, I’m secure in who I am and that’s how I show up.” “There is no tension between who I am, how I feel, and how I show up. I am therefore, presenting myself with authenticity.”

The preceding narratives are supported by other words that surfaced in the study’s top 10 list of words that define authenticity, such as genuineness, trustworthiness, and integrity.

In addition to identifying qualities of authenticity, a set of behaviors gleaned from current literature and popular definitions of authenticity in the context of work were offered to respondents to rank in order of importance. The following behaviors of authenticity resulted as the top five.

1.   When I make a mistake, I own it and try to make things better.

2.   I try to ensure that my actions have a positive impact on others.

3.   I strive to tell the truth even if the news is bad.

4.   I am able to act according to my personal values.

5.   Who I am (my identity) aligns with how I present myself at work.

Based on the findings, the team of researchers at Simmons offer this as a refreshed definition of authenticity:

The quality of aligning words and actions with the best and most ethical version of oneself.

HOW TO EMBODY THE PRACTICE

Discovering your authentic self is an evolution. “The reality is that people learn—and change—who they are through experience. By trying out different leadership styles and behaviors, you grow more than you would through introspection alone,” according to Dr. Herminia Ibarra.

Dr. Ibarra is the Cora Chaired Professor of Leadership and Learning and a professor of organizational behavior at INSEAD. She is the author of Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader, and numerous articles, including Harvard Business Review’s “The Authenticity Paradox: Why Feeling Like a Fake Can Be a Sign of Growth.” Dr. Ibarra’s research demonstrates that the moments which most challenge your sense of self are those that teach you the most about leading effectively.

By giving yourself permission to accept that you are—as we all are—a work-in-progress, and evolving your professional identity through trial, error, and self-forgiveness, you can develop a personal style that feels right to you and suits your organization’s changing needs. Dr. Ibarra warns us about viewing authenticity too rigidly or having an unwavering sense of self. “A too-rigid definition of authenticity can get in the way of effective leadership.” She depicts three problematic views of authenticity:

1.   Being true to yourself: We have many selves (depending on roles we play) and we transform and evolve with various experiences as we mature through life. She asks: “How can you be true to a future self that is still uncertain and unformed?”

2.   Maintaining strict coherence between what you feel and what you say or do: If you disclose everything you think and feel, especially when you are unproven, you lose credibility and effectiveness as a leader.

3.   Making values-based choices: “Values that were shaped on past experiences can lead you astray.” Especially when you move into bigger roles, behaviors that worked in a different context (she uses “tight control over operating details” as an example) might produce authentic but misguided choices.

With the expansive notion that your authentic self will shift over time and as you step into new contexts, how do you discover your “true” self? In his book True North, Bill George affirms, “Because your circumstances, opportunity, and the world around you are always changing, you will never stop calibrating your compass.”

George and his colleagues at Harvard Business School have diligently been researching and exploring how people develop their authentic leadership, establishing the True North compass that helps you zero in on five major areas of personal development as a leader that will aid you as you discover your authentic self. They are self-awareness, values and principles, motivations, support team, and the integrated life.

As you consider each of the areas of the compass, George suggests you ask yourself these fundamental questions:

•   Self-Awarenes: What is my story? What are my strengths and developmental needs?

•   Values and Principles: What are my most deeply held values? What principles guide my leadership?

•   Motivations: What motivates me? How do I balance external and internal motivations?

•   Support Team: Who are the people I can count on to guide and support me along the way?

•   Integrated Life: How can I integrate all aspects of my life and find fulfillment?

FIGURE 2.1 Values List

In Practice 1, we offered a myriad of tools to help you explore you at your best. Much of this discovery is grounded in self-awareness about strengths and motivations for when you feel in service of others and experience vitality and joy. Here, for embracing authenticity, let’s turn to a values-based exercise that is sure to awaken your authenticity cells.

TAKE TIME TO HOME IN ON YOUR VALUES

There is no shortage of tools you can use that will help you home in on your core values and principles. Since the bulk of them offer a similar approach, we offer to you our own Arrive and Thrive Values Tool™.

Step 1: Generate a List of Values

Without overthinking your selections, circle all the core values that resonate with you, and add as many more as you’d like in the margins. Your final list should and will be long (perhaps more than 15). See Figure 2.1 for a comprehensive list of values you can pull from.

Step 2: Scrub Your Values

Review your list and think carefully about each value included. Does each one resonate with you as a core value or core principle? If not, cross it off the list. You may remove as few as none, or you may remove several. The goal of this step is to have a final list that encapsulates your truest core values and principles. As you do this, you will realize that some values have greater meaning or staying power for you than others.

Step 3: Prioritize Your Values

Now that you have this comprehensive and complete list, it’s time to look at how each value relates to the others. What is the right order for your list? The goal of this step is to create a prioritized list of your values and principles. While all of the values on this list are your core values, this step will help you clarify which ones truly guide you to feeling in alignment and at your best. This may take a few iterations, but start by grouping your values into three sections: High, Medium, Low. Review your list and move the values under the appropriate header: High (importance) to Low (importance). It’s unlikely these groupings will be even.

Last, remove the group headers and make one long list with all the values in order. Review and adjust any that feel out of order. This is not easy and it’s OK if you feel a few are “tied.” Give yourself permission to break the tie in whatever way suits you. Whatever choices you make, it is OK. The critical part of this step is to really assess the appropriate weight of each value and what it means to you.

Step 4: Self-Define with Your Values

Look closely at the top three to five values on your list. These are your nonnegotiable values, meaning these are most critical to who you are and what you are looking for in your personal and professional worlds. As such, they (combined with other key words you have identified) should be a part of how you define yourself, and embraced as a vital and honored part of your authentic identity.

How to Use Your Clarity About Values

Especially as you rise into positions of greater influence, grounding yourself in your values and principles will be helpful as you build your reputation and make tough calls and seek to be consistent as you do. Write your top values down and have them visible or easily accessible. Discuss these values and why they are important to you with a trusted colleague, mentor, or friend. Share them with your team. Get fluent in the language of your values, so they move from unconscious beliefs to clear and intentional drivers. Last, and in keeping with the wise words of Dr. Ibarra, we recommend you revisit the Arrive and Thrive Values Tool™ annually, to honor your own shifting authentic self.

AUTHENTICITY IN ACTION

The application of your authentic self happens in action. You’ll be confronted by your humanity. Being fallible doesn’t mean you aren’t purposeful and intentional. Expect that discovering and embracing your authentic self will feel beautiful and smooth only to a point—until you find yourself confronted with any number of obstacles that may result in:

•   Being unable to please everyone

•   Causing conflict or disagreement with others

•   Causing disappointment among someone or a group

•   Taking a different view or decision knowing others won’t approve or will harbor judgment

•   Feelings of vulnerability, fear, and doubt

Said differently, discovering and embracing your authentic self is beautiful and smooth until you find yourself . . . in a leadership position. People want to be led by someone who is real rather than constantly polished, so knowing what to express as your sincere self is key as evidenced in Amy’s story, which follows.

Salesforce is an organization that is known for taking a stand on societal issues. President and CFO Amy Weaver is an outspoken advocate that “corporations should champion more societal responsibilities.” Known for her authentic leadership style, she credits her past experiences for helping her wade through the emotions and constraints that come with managing the complex relationships of the corporate world. Amy explains:

I’ve always worked in situations almost my entire life where I was either the only woman or one of very few women. What I wish I had learned earlier was that I didn’t need to change my style. Out of law school, I clerked for a year, then worked for the Hong Kong Legislature for a year and I joined a New York law firm based in Hong Kong, one of the only women. I spent my first few years trying to be one of the guys and modeled their behavior. They were great, but they all had completely different styles than I have. It took me several years to realize I was never going to be mistaken for “one of the guys.” I was pregnant part of the time. I had to figure out what worked for me without a role model and without simply mimicking what the men were doing.

There was a moment when it came to a head for me. I had gone back to the States and I was preparing for a really tough negotiation. A senior male colleague came in to help me prepare. He said, “This is what you need to do: march aggressively into that room, lay down the law, preferably using a few choice words, and whatever happens, do not be too nice.” He repeated that three times. I heard him out, kind of rolled my eyes, and said, “I’m not going to handle it anything like that. When is the last time you sent me into a large negotiation or a meeting and I didn’t get you exactly what you wanted?” He was totally stumped. What he had described would have worked for him, but that was not going to work for me to succeed. If I had marched into that room, smacked the table, and started cursing, everyone would have burst into laughter, and I would have felt ridiculous because it would have been so inauthentic. By that point in my career, I realized if I could go in and use my own skills, I was going to be able to navigate the situation successfully. And I did. It was a turning point in realizing the power of relying on making connections. That works for me. Knowing the topic inside out works. Having that confidence and authenticity has made all the difference to me in my career.

Amy’s story is so inspiring . . . and authentic.

So how do you collect your badges of authenticity upon arrival? Thriving in this practice requires steps and milestones. Returning to your best self and our invitation in Practice 1 to seek compassion and respect for self and others will be needed as you embrace—in action—your authenticity. The stakes only get higher for the work of being real as you take on additional responsibility and more complex leadership assignments.

We’ve come to appreciate how valuable consistent preparation is and the rewards it has for those we lead. We each work at this daily.

Consistency and Preparation: Your Keys to Authenticity in Action

If honesty is the most cited trait of authenticity in action, doing what you say you will do and being congruent and consistent is imperative. So, too, is being prepared. A big part of authenticity is consistency and showing up in a consistent manner in all of your interactions.

In fact, the phrase “how you do anything is how you do everything” is a leadership principle of Janet’s, which she adopted over the last five years or so:

I first heard it from a figure within the sports industry when talking about a particular baseball player, and his incredible consistency in his interactions, in practice, in the community, and playing major league baseball. It’s essentially about holding yourself to a consistent level of intensity, clarity, and directness in how you interact with others whether you are being watched or not. Especially as you advance, it’s important not to get disconnected from who you are and what you’re good at, and get enamored by the title. Otherwise, you can be perceived as disingenuous and this will make it more difficult to have your team come along for the journey. But if you are courageously acting in accordance with best self, that consistency helps influence followership. The concept is one that has been a lifelong learning principle for myself, I had just never heard it described in such a succinct, powerful way.

So how you do anything is how you do everything. Commit to personal consistency as you repeatedly show up and interact with all others, and it will help you embrace your authenticity and demonstrate it. We have all been around people who put on different personas and behave differently in the various situations they are in.

Consider Marley. Marley was an up-and-coming superstar, a hardworking, tenacious, and smart young associate. When it came time for promotion, one person on the promotions committee pointed out that Marley didn’t seem authentic. The example given was as follows: Marley had been seen behaving differently when interfacing with senior executives (respectful, warm, patient) compared to how she treated several people in administrative support roles (gruff, cool, demanding). Not only did she shoot herself in the foot with the support staff (it didn’t take long for word to spread), Marley also missed the mark on (1) being respectful and (2) being consistent in her treatment of all people at the firm. The executive on the promotions committee did not witness this herself, but her administrative assistant asked for her advice on how to handle Marley.

An easy way to embrace authenticity and help others do it as well is to treat every human being with the same care, respect, professionalism, and engagement, regardless of role, title, status, or positional power. When leaders model this consistent treatment, others follow. When leaders stand up and confront inconsistencies in behavior like Marley’s, it allows for the psychological safety needed for inclusive cultures to thrive. (More on this in Practices 6 and 7.)

Maybe a more complex, sophisticated example of consistency is how you prepare. Preparation is extremely important to who you are and how you lead—not to mention the fact that it exponentially builds confidence, as Amy alluded to. The idea here is that you need to prepare for a difficult conversation with a staff person with the same level of discipline and rigor that you would a client or a peer. When you consistently commit to the art of being prepared, you do two meaningful things: (1) show those who are in receipt of your preparation that you care, thus thumb-printing your brand as someone who is prepared, and (2) build trust that others will value your perspective because it is one that is thoughtful.

BE THOUGHTFUL IN HOW YOU SHOW UP

Jill Robinson, CFO of the Atlanta Braves, shares how she learned the hard way about what it means to be authentic.

Before I hit the VP level, I worked for a very charismatic person who embodied the notion of authenticity. What I didn’t understand was that in many respects, he had earned the right to be fully himself. There was immense respect for the guy by most everyone who worked with him. My error was that I mistakenly believed that it was OK for me to be super casual and gregarious (my true nature) the way he was.

I have come to believe that as you develop competence in your role, bringing in your personal attributes becomes OK. But it needs to be balanced and measured. It’s OK to have a personality but not at the expense of your own professional credibility. For me, this meant not always leading with a joke. Recognizing not everyone has this style and not everyone will respond well to it. I had to learn to be more nuanced in my approach to how I show up while staying true to me. It’s not about covering up; it’s about being intentional about what you let out.

Further, when you are the only woman at the table and everyone else is a man, that can be intimidating. So many women juggle two jobs: the one we are paid for and the one we manage at home that we aren’t paid for. What’s hard about being authentic for women is how much or how little we convey the actuality of the “second shift” in our workplace conversations. My brain is never able to shut off one job or another. My own personal style helps me bridge the gap—because I talk smack with the guys. I never felt lacking in confidence to be me. It’s just harder to break into a conversation if I walk into a room with a bunch of men who are talking about golf (a sport I don’t play) than a bunch of women.

THE ADORNED ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM: EMBRACING YOUR AUTHENTIC LOOK

In a Coqual study of professionals about what it takes to get to the next level, one aspect of the survey findings points to the concerning fact that women are held to stricter standards in terms of appearance yet denied feedback on what those standards are. Writing for Newsweek about workplace dress codes troubling women for decades, Emma Bell points out that women are scrutinized far more than men for what they wear, and high heels epitomize the lose-lose nature of getting the dress code right, for example.

Stilettos are seen as an important symbol of power for women, a marker of high status, despite their impracticality and physical strain that they put on a woman’s body. The fact that Hillary Clinton opted for “nearly flat shoes” was deemed worthy of comment. The treatment of former Australian prime minister, Julia Gillard, is another example of how unjust the scrutiny of women’s dress can be to their professional image. As Gillard explained in her recent autobiography, throughout her leadership her body shape and clothing were considered newsworthy in ways that did not apply to male counterparts. Cameras were trained on her bottom; news reports focused on her choice of clothes; and an incident when she tripped in India was reported frame-by-frame in a front page spread of a leading Australian newspaper.

Let the gravity of that sink in—Julia Gillard was the twenty-seventh prime minister of Australia and the first and only woman to date to hold that role; 570 bills were passed by the Australian Senate under her leadership in three short years. But her choice of clothes was routinely a focal point?

Choosing how to dress has real implications and connection to showing up as a woman leader who embraces her authenticity. When it comes to appearance, do what makes you feel good. Women can feel pressure to look a certain way from head to toe. But what we advocate is to recognize your aesthetic superpower and go with it. If it’s reading glasses with a bold frame, brighter lipstick on Fridays, or a statement jacket—be you. You don’t have to check every arbitrary box of how a woman should show up, but stay cognizant of your professional environment and audience. Ask your small cohort of friends and trusted advisors for feedback. You can feel good in what you wear to work and thoughtful about the impact of your choices at the same time.

DON’T LET “EXECUTIVE PRESENCE” DERAIL YOU

Over the years, we’ve had discussions with professional colleagues, both men and women, about physical presence at work—both in dress, but also polish and preparedness. From coaching managers about how to have effective feedback conversations (tricky any way you slice it, but especially if the feedback is coming from a man to a woman) to advising groups of women about how to have an effective physical brand, this topic isn’t easy and needs to be addressed. Because like it or not, how women physically show up and what other people think of us does impact our confidence, competence, and performance.

Also, the gig can be rigged and not in favor of women. What we mean can be summed up in two words: executive presence. There have been many attempts to define what this means. In fact, what every study on the topic can agree on is that the definition is often mysterious, murky, and subject to vastly differing perspectives. Yet senior executives surveyed in one particular study say executive presence accounts for 26 percent of what it takes to get the next promotion.

Janet has seen this to be a classic issue that many professionals face, from a wide variety of backgrounds, when they’re on deck to become partners. She was at that exact stage when she experienced it herself:

Over the course of my career, I was told I needed to work on my executive presence. And more times than I can count, I’ve heard concerns about whether an individual “looks the part.” Though there were a few exceptions, often there were no details behind that feedback. I’m all for taking constructive criticism seriously, but those kinds of comments are unproductive. Because they say more about our biases about who does and doesn’t belong in the executive suite than they do about an individual’s merits. That’s why I have a rule for myself. If I’m going to offer someone advice about how to get to the next level, I have to make it both specific and actionable. No vague criticism that boils down to nothing more than “I just don’t see you there.” Instead, I have to help them understand exactly what they need to do to get there. And those on the receiving end of vague feedback should push back—ask for more specifics. Don’t allow a nebulous phrase like “executive presence” without explanation to derail you.

VULNERABILITY WON’T KILL YOU— SPEAK WITH COURAGE

In her book Daring Greatly, Brené Brown explains that vulnerability is the source of authenticity. “Vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Shame is the fear of disconnection. Is there something about me that others might not find good enough? In order for connection to happen, we must allow ourselves to be seen.”

The confluence of crises and complexities that emerged in 2020 has been an interesting test for leaders of their authenticity, and probably the biggest test that Janet has faced because of the blending of social and political issues into the professional environment at unprecedented levels. “Even though I have always lived with a strong set of values, I’ve not talked about them explicitly in a public setting as they relate to how I think about politics and how I think about society broadly. The care with which I’ve had to navigate that line is extraordinary right now, especially as a woman.” It’s getting better for sure, but there can be an unconscious bias about whether an issue is truly a critical business issue if it’s brought up by a woman leader versus a man—even at the most senior levels after credibility has been built and proven. Women are considered more emotional so there may be assumptions that “. . . well, she’s raising this point because she’s leading with her emotions, but is this truly a major issue for our business?” As with any major business decision—have the data and evidence (or examples) to back it up, couple that with tangible near-term next steps on how to address it, and even preview it with a group of influential peers to adopt support.

We will explore the practice of instilling courage in-depth soon, but it would be shortsighted not to address the difficulties and complexity of speaking from your authentic self. As we all know from firsthand experience, having the courage to be authentic with people you don’t know and that you might not ever get to meet is not easy.

Social media has given executive leaders many more platforms from which our voice and perspectives are heard—and that, of course, is a double-edged sword. In many ways, the risks have never been higher, because when a leader says something, they are now at the mercy of the reach and consequence of social media outlets.

It’s a risk. But it shouldn’t scare you. Using your authentic voice in the right way can be one of the most valuable ways to honor your authenticity and be effective as a leader. Speaking with courage begins with the leader. Role modeling this and being clear that it’s not comfortable for you either can be galvanizing. It is your job to be transparent that you’re not always comfortable being clear.

When we talk about being authentic, vulnerable, and transparent, that does not necessarily equate to “share everything.” Setting boundaries is OK; we need to be thoughtful of what we share and when. Consider what’s appropriate in the context of the moment and allow for some self-preservation. Do it if it will give you energy and/or help others. Janet shares:

When I started talking about being a breast cancer survivor, which I did not do for five years after I had finished my treatments, the first few times, I said, “I’m talking about this for the first time and this is not something I like to talk about or even want to talk about, but it’s important you know this about me.” I was essentially trying to say: I know you think I have this perfect life, and this is my way of showing you that my life is complicated and messy just like yours. But most importantly, it may also give others the courage to speak up and not suffer in silence.

Next, in Practice 3, let’s explore how courage can help us be our best self and embrace our authenticity.

THRIVER’S WISDOM

POWER RECAP Embracing Authenticity

Key Points About This Practice

•   The willingness to share of yourself in contextually appropriate and honest ways is important for building followership and building the next generation of leaders.

•   Authenticity is a competitive advantage.

•   Honesty, transparency, and openness are top personal qualities that define your authenticity.

•   As an authentic leader, if you make a mistake, own it, and try to make things better.

•   Values shaped on past experiences may not fit the current situation.

•   The application of your authentic self happens in action.

•   Consistency and preparation are keys to your authenticity.

Suggested Actions

•   Use the Arrive & Thrive Values Tool and take time to home in on your values.

•   Use the Authentic Leadership Aha exercise.

•   Talk to an individual or group that initially makes you feel uncomfortable.

•   Enlist a trusted support system for feedback on how authentically you are coming across.

•   Prepare for a difficult conversation or meeting in a new way and see how it feels.