Remember These Fundamental Truths About Interviewing
A Good Interview Is a Conversation
If you have an interview and one person does all the talking, it will be a failure. A good interview has two people in dialogue, in a conversation, learning about each other. It’s not antagonistic and not investigative. It’s natural discourse. If you talk too much, you’ll bore the interviewer. If she talks too much, you can bet you’re not going to get the offer. To have a good conversation, you need to listen and ask questions. You need to paraphrase, use body language to show that you understand, give feedback, in other words, use all the listening skills you have learned over the years. This is your first step in building a relationship, one that could last many years
You Are There to Interview Them
You are not a piece of property. You are a person who brings skills and talents to an organization, typically skills and talents that they need. Because we live in a world that provides service, for the most part, a service industry, the valuable commodity is not iron or steel, but people. Take the faculty and staff out of the university, for instance, and all you have left are buildings. Don’t sell yourself short. Stay out of your own way. Decide where you want to take your skills and talents. Interview the interviewer.
First Impressions Are Critical
Yes, this advice bears repeating. “You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.” I agree with that, in part. Certainly, if you make a bad first impression, you will have your work cut out for you to create a strong second impression. It does happen, but why go through all the trouble. Dress correctly. Groom well. Arrive early, don’t rush in late. Have an erect posture. Have a big smile. Offer a firm handshake. Lean toward the interviewer. Mirror her when possible, and do it subtly. Use the power of your voice to enhance your enthusiasm. Make confident statements. Make it difficult for them not to hire you.
Storytelling Is Powerful
This may be the most important advice I can give you, so, yes, it also bears repeating. We live our lives by stories. We are told stories about the day when we were born, our first steps, our first day of school. You begin to accumulate stories of elementary school, middle school, and high school. Along the way, you learn the stories of your parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles. You see movies, read books, listen to music—all in the form of stories. Be ready to use this power when you are interviewed. Research has proven that we remember information when it’s part of a story. We also mirror the storyteller and the characters in the story. I have asked hundreds of students to tell me their stories and then use them in an interview. It works.
Body Language Speaks Volumes
You don’t have to say a word to communicate in an interview. Your nonverbal language will say it all. Your hairstyle, your clothes, your gestures—they all speak for you, even your shoes. Mostly, they communicate without your knowledge or the conscious knowledge of the person interviewing you. “The eyes are the windows of the soul,” said Shakespeare. It’s true. If you make too little eye contact or stare too deeply, you send a message. Your face has over 40 muscles, and it creates micro expressions you are not aware of. You can be communicating disgust or fear or sadness and not know it. Your hands, your arms, your legs—these also communicate.
One researcher said that, in an emotional situation, we only communicate with words 7 percent of the time. He added tone of voice accounting for 38 percent and body language at 55 percent. Many people have misinterpreted this research. Mehrabian has said, “Please note that this and other equations regarding relative importance of verbal and nonverbal messages were derived from experiments dealing with communications of feelings and attitudes (i.e., like-dislike). Unless a communicator is talking about their feelings or attitudes, these equations are not applicable1.”
In any event, you show nervousness by crossing your arms over your heart, crossing your legs over you lap, blinking rapidly, or having a quaver in your voice.
You Must Differentiate Yourself
Anyone who applies for the same job you’re after probably has very similar credentials. So, why should someone hire you? What can you do for us that the others cannot do? Perhaps you come from China but you speak and write both English and French fluently. You know that this international company is doing business globally, and you have traveled the world, backpacking and staying in hostels. In fact, once you were backpacking in northern India, near the Himalaya Mountain range when you lost your wallet, passport, and all identification.
Fortunately, you came upon a village where a French doctor was treating lepers. You were able to communicate through him and get supplies to retrace your steps and find your wallet. Do you see how you can combine storytelling with differentiation?
There Is No Perfect Job
And finally, there is no perfect job. Like every other aspect of our lives, perfection does not exist in jobs, either. There will always be some part of our jobs that we would like to change. So, we must ask ourselves, “Does this job, in general, give me satisfaction. Or is this job making my life miserable.”
And, at different points in our careers, different jobs suit different lifestyles. In our youth, we may be willing to work long hours to establish and promote our career. Later in life, we may want to spend more time with a partner and a family. Those long hours at the office are no longer reasonable as we adjust to changing demands on our time. A long commute that seemed manageable becomes overwhelming after years of doing it. We may decide we no longer wish to work in the hustle and bustle of a city. Perhaps 70 percent of our job was travel, maybe we want to spend more time at home to be close to aging relatives or an ailing friend.
In conclusion, the dream job of our youth may cease to be that as we age. We must be honest with ourselves about what matters in a job and try to find a job that meets those needs. And, as we are honest with ourselves, we must be honest with our employer. Perhaps, given our changing needs, our employer can make adjustments to our work schedule or maybe offer a new position. But if that cannot happen, you need to consider finding another position. You may be older, but you bring with you years of varied experiences that can benefit a new employer. Don’t sell yourself short, tell the employer what you can bring to their organization. Savvy employers understand and value experience.
1 https://eiagroup.com/communication-formula/