Names and Titles

Titles are always used before a person’s name in broadcast copy, never after it. For example, “Secretary of Defense Kenneth Zucal” should be used rather than, as newspapers write, “Kenneth Zucal, Secretary of Defense”. Using the title first alerts the listener to the upcoming name and reflects conversational style. It is acceptable to break up the name and the title. For example: “The Secretary of the Navy said today that joint maneuvers would begin in the Atlantic next week. Tony Jarvis told reporters that Canadian and British vessels would join part of the Atlantic fleet in the maneuvers.” If you use names in your copy, make sure you double-check their spelling and pronunciation. If you are reporting an accident or a fire in which there are injuries or deaths, ask the public information officer to confirm any names you’re unsure about. Wire services are a good source for checking names and pronunciations.

Names are not always essential to a story. Scripts written at a small-town radio or TV station should certainly include the names of those who were killed or injured in a fire at the local paper plant. However, the names of three people from another state who were injured on the freeway would be of little interest to the local audience. It would be sufficient to say: “Three Missouri residents were injured after a cement mixer spun out of control on the freeway and hit their car.”

If those three people live in a small town in the station’s listening area, then the names should be mentioned. The story might read:

Three local people are recovering after a cement mixer spun out of control on the freeway and hit their car. Police identified the injured as Wheatland residents Dennis and Samantha Rose and Peter Francis of Humansville.

In many cases, the determining factor is the size of the community. A radio station in a community of 5,000 will give more details about the injured than a station in a city of 100,000. In that community of 5,000, the second paragraph of the story might give more details: “The injured were on their way home from a PTA meeting. The Roses both teach at Richmond High School. They were giving Francis a ride home when the accident took place.”

The added details are of interest because in a small community the chances are that many of those listening to the newscast know the three people. If they do not, they may still be interested for other reasons; most of the audience will be familiar with Richmond High School, they may be members of the PTA, and some may have attended the PTA meeting.

Middle Names, Initials, and Maiden Names

Do not use middle names, initials, or maiden names unless (a) the person is known by that name or (b) they are needed in a story to identify people with similar names. Examples of correct usage include

■ Olympic athlete Jackie Joyner-Kersee

■ Actress Jennifer Jason Leigh

■ Actor Samuel L. Jackson

■ Game of Thrones creator George R. R. Martin

Foreign Names

It is often embarrassing to hear radio and TV anchors trying to pronounce foreign names, whether they are covering distant wars, international summits, or even sports events from abroad. There will be more discussion on pronunciation in Chapter 16 Delivering the News, but for now remember that foreign names are used in broadcast copy only if they are essential. The names of foreign heads of state, ambassadors, and foreign ministers who are frequently in the news must be mentioned, but secondary foreign officials can usually be identified by title alone.

Additionally, most wire services will provide phonetic spelling of difficult-to-pronounce names for newsmakers (as well as foreign places). It is crucial that the anchor is warned in advance that a phonetic name will appear on the teleprompter, as even phonetics can trip up the best anchor on air.

When a foreign name is used, it must be used according to custom. In some foreign countries, the first name is the important surname, not the last. Most current journalists do not file reports on the late Chinese leader Mao Tse-tung, who was referred to as Chairman Mao. But the former Secretary-General of the United Nations was Ban Ki-Moon; his correct title was Mr. Ban, not Mr. Ki-Moon.

Ages

A person’s age, which is usually irrelevant in a story, may be used if it is significant. There certainly would be no need to give the ages of Dennis and Samantha Rose or Peter Francis who were involved in the earlier accident example. But if the Roses’ 5-year-old daughter had been involved in the accident, her age would be worth mentioning because she is so young; likewise, if Francis’ 87-year-old mother were in the back seat, her age should also be given.

Sometimes it is also acceptable to give ages in crime stories. If two teenage boys were involved in a hit-and-run accident, their ages should be reported. If an 80-year-old man tried to hold up a bank, his age is the most interesting part of the story because it’s unusual to hear of a senior citizen committing such a crime.

If a 75-year-old woman’s vehicle crossed a divider and collided head on with another car, give her age. It could have been a factor in the accident. Perhaps not, but until police determine the cause of the accident, the woman’s age should be included. It also should be noted if, for example, police said one of the tires on the woman’s car had blown out and possibly caused the accident.

Other reasons for giving ages include exceptional accomplishments or unlikely occurrences. For example:

■ A 16-year-old graduates at the top of her law school class.

■ A 60-year-old Hollywood actor marries a 22-year-old woman.

■ A 48-year-old woman gives birth to quadruplets.

Marital Status and Children

It is not necessary to specify whether someone is married, divorced, or single unless the information directly relates to the story in some way. There would be no reason to say whether someone who was arrested for driving while intoxicated is single or married. However, when a candidate is running for mayor, most people want to know whether he or she is single or married. It may influence how some people vote. Of course, if an actress has been married seven times and is about to wed husband number eight, that is not only relevant to the story, it is likely the story’s lead.

Children and other familiar relations are warranted on a case-by-case basis. If a single woman with six children gives birth to octuplets (as famously happened in California in 2009), then the human interest value of the 14 children is the story. A school board candidate who has five kids in the school system is important; voters want to know if the candidate has a vested interest in the school’s success. As with marital status, unless the children have a direct bearing on the story, they should be removed.

Race

Race should be noted only if it is relevant to the story. For example, you would mention race or ethnicity if a city elected its first Hispanic member of the city council or if an African American graduated at the top of the class in a predominantly white college. Barack Obama’s election to the U.S. presidency and the stories that noted his race provide ample evidence of how newscasters referenced his heritage in their broadcasts.

A person’s race should be mentioned in a crime story only if it is necessary for identification purposes while police are still looking for a suspect. If a person has already been arrested for a crime, there is no reason to indicate the person’s racial or ethnic background.

FIGURE 7.2 Solis Images/Shutterstock.com

Numbers

The fundamental rule regarding the use of numbers in broadcast copy is that they should be rounded off and spelled out when there is any chance for confusion. For example, a budget figure of $60,342,960,000 should be rounded off to “over 60 billion dollars.” Such a figure is spelled out because it would be virtually impossible for a newscaster to deal with all those numbers in the middle of the teleprompter’s copy.

The convention is to spell out numbers zero through twelve, then use numerals from 13 to 999. For larger figures, use words or word–figure combinations. Here are some examples:

■ There are only eleven shopping days left until Christmas.

■ There were 45 students in the class.

■ There were three people at the table.

■ There were 600 prisoners of war.

■ There were 75 thousand people in the stadium.

Single-digit numbers with million, billion, and so on are expressed in words, such as: It will take another three million dollars to complete work on the project. Some figures reaching the news desk are expressed in decimals:

■ The company’s stock was up 6.88 points.

■ Unemployment was down .01 percent for the month.

■ The Navy asked for an additional 5.5 billion dollars.

Some newscasters will say the stock was up “six point 88,” but most prefer to eliminate the decimal and round off the figure to “almost seven points.” As for the other examples, recast them for broadcast copy to read “Unemployment was down one tenth of one percent for the month” and “The Navy asked for an additional five and a half billion dollars.”

Capital Numbers

On a computer keyboard, capital numbers are those symbols that are found when the SHIFT key is pressed simultaneously as a number. Moving from left to right, capital numbers are !, @, #, $, %, ^, &, *, (, and ). Except for the @ sign, which is used frequently for email addresses and should be written and pronounced “at,” these should be avoided. For example, $15 is written “15 dollars”—this is how an anchor would read it on the teleprompter. Similarly, 15% is written “15 percent.”

Capital numbers are avoided largely because not all anchors can read the script fluidly if these images are left in the script. Also, if read literally, $15 would be pronounced “dollar sign 15.” If it is even remotely possible to confuse an anchor, by all means, spell the wording out precisely.

Punctuation Marks

Like capital numbers, several punctuation marks should not appear in a teleprompter script, such as + or =. While most of this seems intuitive, the trickiest punctuation marks are the quotation marks. Leaving quotation marks in the script may force an anchor to artificially inflect their voice or, even worse, make quotation symbols with their fingers in the air. How to deal with quotes is discussed later in this chapter, but for now, avoid quotation marks in your copy.

FIGURE 7.3 jannoon028/Shutterstock.com

Websites

Pity the newswriters from the 1990s when websites were just gaining traction in the media. Before the 1990s, no one bothered with announcing Internet websites on the air, simply because they didn’t exist. As the Internet and the World Wide Web gained in popularity, 1990s newscasters were compelled to relay complex web addresses, such as “For more information, you can log onto the World Wide Web at H-T-T-P colon backslash backslash W-W-W dot . . .”

What seemed necessary at the time is outdated today. It is now acceptable to eliminate all of the above and focus on the address, such as Red Cross-dot-org or White House-dot-gov. The three Ws should be dropped as well, as their commonplace usage makes spelling them out cumbersome. Also, avoid submenus that can confuse the audience; if you’re giving lengthy website addresses full of backslashes, shorten it so only the website’s home page is given.

As a rule of thumb, no one is watching the newscast with a handy pen and paper, eager to jot down a website address. If you keep it short and simple, the viewer can remember it easily enough. If the information is too complex, you have not performed a service to anyone who is watching.

Avoiding Abbreviations

All words in broadcast news copy, with a few exceptions, must be spelled out. Abbreviations are not permitted because they would force anchors to interpret their meaning, thus inviting confusion and mistakes.

There are two common abbreviations that are especially brutal to anchors. Read through the following sentence as an example: “Dr. Stanley Nelson of St. Louis lives at the intersection of Ashley St. and Pecos Dr.”

Saving a few extra keystrokes, particularly by abbreviating “doctor,” “drive,” “saint,” and “street” is setting your anchor up for failure.

There are exceptions to the rule, as abbreviations are used if the names of organizations are better known by their initials than by their full names, for example, FBI, NBC, and CIA. To make it easier for anchors to read, place hyphens between the letters, such as F-B-I, N-B-C, and C-I-A.

Name—Ethan Forhetz

Job Title—5pm, 9pm, 10pm news anchor

Employer and Website—KYTV, Springfield, MO; www.ky3.com

Social Media Outlets I Use—Facebook, Twitter

Typical Daily Duties—First thing I do as I arrive in the newsroom is get together with my co–anchor, producer, and executive producer. We go over the newscast rundown and the producer describes each of the stories. That’s necessary because I am just getting to work and may not know all the stories our reporters are covering. If it’s a big breaking news story, I’m surely aware of it because of alerts from our app and Twitter, but stories that aren’t that big may be under my radar until the meeting. During that meeting, we’ll sometimes change the order of stories in the newscast or add or remove certain stories based on my and my co–anchor’s input.

The next thing I do is go to my desk to begin going through the newscast. I spend the next hour or more reading through scripts and rewriting them so that it sounds more natural coming out of my mouth. Not every anchor has to do this but it’s imperative for me. I’m not a great “cold” reader, meaning I’m not my best when I’m reading something for the first time. So, for me, reading through every script and, basically rewriting every script into more my style, is key.

Then, with about 30 minutes to go before the newscast, I go into our green room to get dressed and put on makeup. Applying makeup is just part of my life now. It’s as normal for me as a dentist putting on gloves. I also put on my suit at that time. I wear jeans in the newsroom with my shirt and tie until news time. I didn’t used to. I used to wear my suit pants all day. But then one day after we switched to HD years ago, I was at a standing shot on our set and I noticed on the monitor that my trousers were wrinkled through the midsection where they bunch up as I sit. From that day on, I’ve been carrying my entire suit to work on a hanger in a suit bag so I don’t look sloppy on air.

After getting dressed, I go to set for a live 30–second tease that airs during programming about 10–15 minutes before the 5pm news starts. We tease our biggest and most interesting stories, hoping to keep the audience that’s watching at 4pm.

I then anchor the 5pm newscast.

Immediately following the newscast, I go into another meeting with my 9pm producers and co–anchor. We talk about what our nightside reporters are working on and the flow of the broadcasts. We do an hour of news at 9 on our CW station, then 35 minutes on KY3 at 10pm. The meeting is to discuss the stories we’ll be covering, what order they are in, and whether we should add or remove any.

After that meeting, the next thing I do is go back to the set at 6:30pm to record “topical” teases for the 9 and 10pm newscasts that will air throughout primetime on both the main station (KY3) and our CW station.

Following that, it’s time to eat! I usually eat at my desk and watch my Twitter feed for good stories or breaking news that we could/should add to our late newscasts.

After dinner, I begin the process of reading through an hour and a half of scripts from our 9 and 10pm newscasts. Again, the familiarity is key for me to be as good as I can be. I also meet with the young reporter I’m assigned to mentor. We go over his story for the night. I improve it if possible and approve it for air in the newscasts.

Then, it’s time to put my suit back on, do a quick makeup update and head to the anchor desk to anchor the final newscasts of the night.

Finally, at 10:35, I begin the process of wrapping up my day. I usually talk briefly with our 10pm newscast producer about the show and head home.

Contractions

Broadcast newswriters must write the way most people speak. When we talk with another person, we automatically do a number of things of which we usually are not aware. For example, we almost always use contractions. We are more likely to say “I’m going to work now, Tim,” than “I am going to work now, Tim.” And we might add, “Let’s get together for lunch again soon” instead of “Let us get together again soon.” In other words, if we contract our words in conversation, we should do the same in broadcast copy. Here are some other examples:

■ Good morning, I’m Amy Jerrell with the early news.

■ Here’s a rundown of the top stories we’re covering.

■ We’ve just received word that teachers are walking out of classrooms at West Ridge Elementary School.

■ If you’re driving to work, expect serious delays on the freeway because of an accident at the Brookwood Street exit.

■ There’s no word from the mayor yet on rumors he’ll resign.

In the aforementioned copy, most pronoun–verb combinations have been contracted. However, sometimes—for emphasis—it is better not to contract words. For example: “The mayor says he will seek reelection.”

Because the word will is key to this particular sentence, it would be better to avoid the contraction he’ll. The newscaster would want to emphasize the word will.

Eliminating Long Words

Short words are usually easier to understand than long ones and, crucially for broadcast news, where time is precious, they take less time to deliver. For example: “Police abandoned the search” is more difficult to say than “Police gave up the search.” Here are examples of long words and some shorter ones that could replace them in broadcast copy:

Certain words should be avoided because they are difficult to pronounce on the air. Here are some examples:

If you are unsure about other words you find yourself using, remember that reading them out loud is the best way to decide whether they are appropriate broadcast words. If a word is difficult to say or sounds strange or confusing to the ear, don’t use it.

Conjunctions

Coupling pins such as but and and are often helpful in connecting sentences or parts of sentences. Using conjunctions to link ideas to one another can often help broadcast copy sound more conversational, although caution should be taken so that they are not overused. Remember also that some conjunctions that work in print, such as the word however, do not always work as well in broadcast copy. Use but instead of however in broadcast copy.

Prepositions

Prepositions can also help make copy more conversational, particularly when used to eliminate the possessive, which tends to make listeners work harder to follow the meaning. Here are some examples; the first uses the possessive: “The Senate Armed Services Committee’s spokesman announced a series of new hearings on budget cuts.” Here is a preposition used in the same sentence: “A spokesman for the Senate Armed Services Committee announced a series of new hearings on budget cuts.” See how much easier it is to read the version with the preposition? It is more natural. The preposition is more likely to be used than the possessive in conversation.

Pronouns

We use many pronouns during conversation, and they serve a useful purpose in broadcast copy. They eliminate the need to repeat a person’s name. Some difficulty arises when pronouns are used too far from the person’s name or when more than one name is mentioned in the sentence or paragraph. Examine this troublesome use of a pronoun: “The Boy Scout of the Year award was given to Mike Greene by Mayor Tom Witkowski. Immediately after the presentation, he slipped and fell off the stage.” Who slipped and fell off the stage, the mayor or the Boy Scout? The pronoun he does not work here because two males are mentioned in the sentence. The person who fell should be identified by name.

Adjectives and Adverbs

Like good verbs, adjectives and adverbs sometimes add color to broadcast copy, but for the most part they should be avoided. Many adjectives add unnecessary detail, and rather than enliven the copy, they weigh it down. Here’s an example with too many adjectives and adverbs: “The diesel-powered train was quickly moving around the very sharp curve when the accident happened. Suddenly, there was a loud screeching noise and the locomotive at the very front of the train rapidly started to leave the track.”

The sentence would be more effective without most of these adjectives and adverbs because they add little meaning. It is not important to know that the train is diesel-powered, because many are. Quickly moving could be replaced by the strong verb racing, and the adverb very could be omitted because intensifiers are “filler” words that rarely add meaning. Rapidly could be eliminated because it is a given that the cars would leave the tracks quickly if the train were racing around the curve. Finally, started to leave could be replaced by the more vivid jumped. The cleaned-up sentence would read: “The train was racing around the sharp curve when the accident happened. There was a sudden screeching noise as the locomotive jumped the track.”

Screeching was left in the sentence because it is a strong, colorful adjective that describes the noise. Loud was eliminated because a screeching noise is, by definition, loud.

Avoiding Clichés

We all use clichés from time to time, but you should avoid using clichés in broadcast copy as much as possible, even though some clichés are heard every night on news programs. For example, killers are often “cold-blooded,” “slaughter” is always “bloody,” and events “come on the heels of” other events. Broadcasts during political campaigns in particular inundate listeners with clichés, such as “hats in the political ring,” “campaign trails,” “political hay,” and “political footballs.” After disasters, rescue workers “sift through the rubble” and “comb through the wreckage.” Other tired clichés that should be retired include:

■ airliners that become “ill-fated planes” after they crash

■ politicians and others who “take to the airwaves”

■ lobby groups and others who “are up in arms”

■ people who end up “in the driver’s seat”

■ facts that are “difficult to swallow”

■ plans brought to a “screeching halt”

■ comments or actions that lead to “a perfect storm”

■ troublesome situations that are a “can of worms.”

Why are so many things “put on the back burner”? What is wrong with “delaying action” or referring to something as having “a low priority”? Say simply that people are “delaying” or “avoiding” something rather than “dragging their feet.” Police should be “searching for,” “looking for,” or even “hunting for” a missing person, not “combing the woods” for him or her.

Broadcast writers who use “cooling their heels,” “tight lipped,” and “Mother Nature” should be “tarred and feathered.” Although some newsmakers insist on referring to something as being “miraculous,” do not use the word to describe some spectacular escape from death or injury unless you are quoting the newsmaker.

“Rampage” is another “worn-out” word that will never go away. Instead of using the cliché to tell a prison riot story, describe what’s actually going on inside the prison. For example: “Prisoners at the Wheatland jail this afternoon took five guards hostage, burned cellblocks, and demanded that Governor Rollenhagen come to the jail to hear their demands.”

A Miami TV station, in its story about the arrest of a suspect in the Florida State University serial killings, reported the following: “People are breathing easier tonight because a suspected serial killer is behind bars.”

As it turned out, the suspect was then released for lack of evidence, so we can assume that the breathing in the community became heavier again. Such writing is not limited to news. A network sportscaster reporting about a series of injuries in the NBA wrote: “Officials are scratching their heads for an explanation.”

Seriously? If the videographer records footage of officials literally scratching their heads, use it. Otherwise, these are examples of lazy writing. Whenever you are tempted to use a cliché, make the extra effort to think of a fresh way to express your point.

Good Grammar and Some Exceptions

The same rules of grammar apply to both print and broadcast copy most of the time. Writers do take a few liberties in broadcast copy because of its conversational nature. Verbs can be dropped from some sentences, as is done frequently in conversation.

For example, if you are talking to your letter carrier and say, “Looks like snow today, Ally,” no one is going to object because you did not say, “It appears as if we are going to receive some snow today, Ally.” Therefore, it would be natural for a newscaster to say “Three injuries tonight on the turnpike, that story when we return.” Few people will take offense because the newscaster did not say “There were three injuries tonight on the turnpike.”

Active and Passive Voices

Eliminating words (and therefore saving precious seconds) is crucial in any news script. The active voice speeds up copy and gives it more punch because it focuses on the action rather than the receiver of the action. Nowhere is this forgotten more quickly than by writers who prefer the passive voice over the active voice.

A few examples are the following.

Passive

■ Nine hamburgers were devoured by the hungry dog.

■ The motion was approved by the Senate.

■ The game was won by the Wildcats.

The easiest way to identify passive sentence structure is to find the word “by.” If “by” appears in a sentence, see if a quick rewording will make it briefer and clearer.

Active

■ The hungry dog devoured nine hamburgers.

■ The Senate approved the motion.

■ The Wildcats won the game.

Modifying Phrases

Some writers, in their eagerness to tell the story, often get the details right but confuse the meaning of the sentence. When you use modifying phrases, be sure to place them as close as possible to the word(s) they describe or identify, such as “The two cars collided in heavy rain on Interstate 95 during the rush hour.”

It’s true that the “heavy rain” did fall on the highway, but it also fell elsewhere. When recast to be less ambiguous, the sentence would read this way “The two cars collided on Interstate 95 in heavy rain during the rush hour.”

Avoiding Relative Clauses

Other sentences that produce information overload are those that contain relative clauses. Relative clauses are introduced by the relative pronouns who, which, that, what, whoever, whichever, and whatever and add information to simple sentences. Newspapers often use relative clauses to stress one point about a person or thing over another in a particular sentence. Because relative pronouns refer to nouns that precede them, TV and radio audiences may have trouble identifying the noun and pronoun as the same person or thing. Take this example found in a newspaper:

The comments from the State Department spokesman came in response to a report in the English-language Tehran Times, which quoted a source as saying Iran would definitely intercede to gain the release of the hostages if Washington gave assurances it would release frozen Iranian assets.

Whereas newspaper readers would immediately know that which refers to Tehran Times because the words are next to each other, a broadcast audience might have to stop and think about what which refers to. When this copy was rewritten for broadcast, the relative pronoun which was removed and the sentence was cut in two. The noun newspaper was used again instead of the pronoun:

The State Department spokesman made the comments after a report appeared in the English-language newspaper the Tehran Times. The newspaper quoted a source as saying Iran would definitely help win release of the hostages if Washington promised to release frozen Iranian assets.

Other changes included recasting the passive construction in the first sentence as active and replacing the phrase intercede to gain with the single word help. Likewise, gave assurances was simplified to promised. The second version is better for a broadcast audience because it does not use pronouns or wordy phrases that could cause misunderstanding.

Which, when used as part of a clause that adds descriptive detail about a noun, also presents unnecessary problems for broadcast writers. Take this print copy “Two people were killed today when a small plane, which was on a flight from Key West to Miami, crashed into the ocean off the coast of Key Largo.”

All these details will be simpler for your audience to digest if you give the number of dead and where the crash took place in the first sentence and explain the departure and destination of the plane in the second sentence. Here’s a broadcast version “Two people died today when a small plane crashed into the ocean off the coast of Key Largo. The plane was on a flight from Key West to Miami.”

Relative clauses introduced by that contain information important to the meaning of a sentence, not just additional details. For example “The truck that jackknifed on the freeway today was carrying flammable liquid.” The that clause identifies which particular truck was carrying flammable liquid.

In some sentences, that can be omitted because the sentence sounds more natural and is clear without it. Compare the following two sentences: “The governor says that he’ll leave the capital by plane this evening” and “The governor says he’ll leave the capital by plane this evening.” Dropping that makes the sentence more conversational. While you shouldn’t always delete every that you see in a sentence, always double-check whether you need it.

Be . . . ing Verbs

Some verbs are candidates to be the first words that may be excised from a news script with little difficulty. Compare the following sentences: “The Wheatland Middle School will be hosting an open house Friday” and “The Wheatland Middle School will host an open house Friday.” The impact and factual information is the same, yet the second sentence is tighter than the first. The difference is the be . . .ing verbs. Instead of “will be hosting,” it is cleaner to write “will host.” If a team “will be playing,” write that the team “will play.” As a quick guideline, when you see the word “be” followed by a verb ending with “. . .ing,” check whether you can drop a few words. Not only does it clean up the written copy, it will also simplify the sentence for the audience.

Present Tense

Broadcast news must always present an image of immediacy. Without deceiving an audience by treating an old story as if it were fresh, the broadcast newswriter’s job is to tell the news as though it is in progress or has just recently happened. If a story is still developing or has just cleared the wires, a newswriter should make it sound as new and exciting as possible because most of the audience will be hearing the story for the first time. Use of present-tense verbs, particularly present-progressive verbs, which suggest ongoing action, adds to that immediacy. For example, in covering a meeting at the White House that is still in progress, a writer would best say: “The President is meeting with his cabinet this morning to discuss the budget.” Only if the meeting had ended by the time of the newscast would the writer use the past tense: “The President met today with his cabinet to discuss the budget.”

When writers use the past tense, they tell the audience that the event has already taken place, even though some aspect of it may actually still be in progress. Look at the following examples to see how the present-tense verbs focus on the continuing action:

Poor: Members of Congress ended their session today and headed for home.

Good: Members of Congress are on their way home today after ending their session.

Poor: A hurricane warning was issued tonight for Florida and Georgia.

Good: A hurricane warning is in effect tonight for Florida and Georgia.

Present Perfect Tense

Another verb tense that gives a sense of immediacy is the present perfect, which suggests that an action started in the past and is continuing into the present. For example, “The President has left Camp David for Andrews Air Force Base.” The present perfect tense is useful when the status of the story is not certain. In this case, it may be known that the president left Camp David, but it may not be clear when he is going to arrive at Andrews Air Force Base.

Mixing Tenses

Because a news story may mention events that happened at different times or may report a statement that still holds true but was made earlier, it is acceptable to mix tenses in broadcast copy. For example, a story may begin with the present tense and then change to the past tense in later sentences so that the story makes sense.

Here’s an example of changing tenses:

Mayor Tom Witkowski says he hopes to keep property taxes at their present level. He made the comment during a speech earlier today before a meeting of the Chamber of Commerce. The mayor told the group he expects an improving economy and a reduction in city expenses will eliminate the need for higher property taxes.

The first sentence uses the present-tense verb says, but the rest of the paragraph uses past-tense verbs because it would sound strange to continue the present tense once it is established that the mayor made the comments earlier in the day. But suppose the mayor has not yet delivered the speech. The story might be handled this way:

Mayor Tom Witkowski says he hopes to keep property taxes at their present level. He will say this tonight in a speech to the Chamber of Commerce. The mayor says he believes that an improving economy and a reduction in city expenses will eliminate the need for higher property taxes.

In this case, the present tense is used to describe opinions the mayor holds now, and the future tense is used to describe when he will express those opinions. The fourth and fifth sentences might continue with the future tense: “The mayor will also tell his audience that he expects to attract new business to the city. He’ll say he has a promise from Governor Rollenhagen for extra state funds to take care of the city’s needy.”

Says and Related Verbs

Don’t be afraid to use says. Many writers think they have to find different ways to avoid using a form of say because they think it is a boring verb. As a result, they will use forms of exclaim, declare, assert, announce, and other words that they believe mean the same thing as say. The problem is that these other words are not synonyms for say; each has a different connotation.

Although these verbs should not always be used in place of say, sometimes they do describe the situation accurately. For example: “Serbia declared war today” and “The White House announced that Peter Morgan would become the new Secretary of the Interior.” As for assert, it is difficult to think of an occasion when it would be appropriate to use that word in broadcast copy. In writing broadcast copy, look for strong verbs that describe the action vividly:

■ smother, rather than put down, an uprising

■ snuff out, rather than defeat, a rebellion

■ echo, rather than repeat, an opinion

■ clash, rather than disagree, over strategy

■ lash out at, rather than attack, opponents

■ muster, rather than collect, enough votes.

When choosing verbs, think about the image you want to create. For example, a tornado roars, but it also can sweep through a neighborhood. A hurricane can hit a beachfront, but demolish gives a stronger picture. A high school student might be expelled, but a deposed leader would be exiled. Battalions can move through the desert, but if they are doing it quickly, they might be racing through.

Attribution

Proper attribution is one of the basic requirements of good newswriting and reporting, whether for newspapers or broadcasts.

For the most part, newspapers use attribution at the end of a sentence, what is called dangling attribution. For example: “Hundreds of people have been killed in Syrian army attacks in the capital city of Damascus, according to the Associated Press.”

Attribution in broadcast copy, if used in the lead sentence, is always at the top of the sentence. This makes the writing crisper, creates a sentence structure in which active verbs are more prominent, and requires fewer words. The same information in broadcast copy reads: “The Associated Press reports hundreds of people have been killed in Syrian army attacks in the capital city of Damascus.”

The attribution can also be delayed, that is, it can be mentioned in the second sentence. For example: “Hundreds of people have been killed in Syrian army attacks in the capital city of Damascus. That report comes from the Associated Press.”

Using Quotes

Newspapers have the luxury of providing long, detailed quotes of politicians, government officials, and other newsmakers. But broadcasting time restrictions require a distillation of such information. There will be times, because of the importance of statements, when direct quotes can be used. Even then, the writer must keep them to a minimum. Here is an example of a quote as it would appear in a newspaper: “‘This is an example of the worst brutality I have ever come across,’ was the way the judge described the beating of a man arrested by police.”

There are two viable options for broadcast copy. In the first rewrite, the quote is maintained. “The judge said the police beating of a man under arrest was— in his words—‘the worst brutality I have ever come across.’”

DEFINING TERM: Attribution—the source of a news story.

In the second version, the same information is paraphrased. “The judge described the beating of the arrested man as the worst brutality he had ever come across.”

If a quote is too important to paraphrase, the actual words should be used.

Most broadcasters avoid saying “quote” and “unquote” at the beginning and end of a direct quote, but you may sometimes hear them on the air. There are better ways to handle a direct quote, such as: “The Senator said the Republican sponsored welfare reform bill would—and this is a direct quote—‘take food out of the mouths of poor children.’”

Some newscasters will use a direct quote after saying “and these are the president’s exact words.” Other anchors will simply pause a second before a direct quote and change the inflection of their voices, but not all newscasters do this effectively. If you are writing the script, be explicit and use an introductory phrase to indicate you will be quoting someone directly.

Expressing Time

Because broadcast news usually reports or describes events that are currently happening, it is not always necessary to use the word today in broadcast copy. If events are not current, point that out quickly.

If a story says that 18 people have been injured in a train crash in Wheatland, listeners are going to assume that the accident occurred today unless the broadcaster explains that it happened last night or at some other time. Repeating the word today throughout a newscast, then, would become tiresome.

Those writing or reporting for an evening or late-night newscast should be specific. If the story is about something that is happening while the newscast is on the air or took place a short time earlier, the copy should stress the word tonight or use a phrase such as at this very moment, a short time ago, within the past hour, or earlier this evening to alert the audience that this is fresh news.

A story should never lead with the word yesterday. If a story happened the day before, something new must be found to freshen the story and eliminate yesterday from the lead. Otherwise, it simply isn’t news.

Finally, there is a danger in overwriting time elements regarding future events. You need not say that an event will occur at seven p-m in the evening; either seven p-m or seven in the evening will work. Or what about a football game scheduled for this Saturday? Just say it’s coming up Saturday without the date. It’s pointless to say Saturday, October 26th, unless there are a number of Saturdays between then and now. However you would say the day conversationally to a friend is probably right.

Transitions

Transitions are phrases and words that signal relationships between sentences. Some broadcast newswriters use transitions to carry listeners from one story to another; however, in a newscast, transitions should be used with care and in moderation. If a transition is natural, it can be effective, but most transitions tend to sound contrived. Here’s an example of good use of a transition:

Wheatland Mayor Paul Witkowski is flying to New York City at this hour to take part in talks with other mayors on how to deal with Washington’s cut in funds for American cities.

Also traveling today is Wheatland Police Chief Frank Aiman. He’s on his way to Chicago to meet with officials in that city to discuss the fight on drugs.

The transition also traveling today works here because it links stories about similar events of equal importance. But here’s a bad example:

Wheatland Mayor Paul Witkowski is flying to New York City at this hour to take part in talks with other mayors on how to deal with Washington’s cut in funds for American cities.

Also traveling tonight, Hurricane Dorothy. It’s headed our way at about 10 miles an hour and could slam into the mainland in the morning.

In this example, the transition is forced. Unlike the natural connection of two city officials who are traveling on government business, there is nothing logical about connecting the movement of the mayor and that of a hurricane. That example was not made up. The names have been changed, but the transition tying together the movement of an official and a hurricane was actually broadcast. Here is another example of an effective transition:

The Justice Department wants to know if there are patterns of police brutality anywhere in the country. The Department has ordered a review of all police brutality complaints filed with its civil rights division during the last six years. The order comes after the police beating of a motorist in Los Angeles.

Los Angeles isn’t the only place where authorities are investigating allegations of police brutality. In Georgia, witnesses say more than a dozen police officers pounced on a suspected prowler they caught after a chase from Atlanta to Stockbridge. The Atlanta and Clayton County police departments are conducting internal investigations.

Locations

Your viewers know where New York and Chicago are located, so don’t waste their time with New York, New York, or Chicago, Illinois. The same holds true with smaller communities near you; if a suburb or nearby town is fairly well known, you can drop the name of the state.

Exceptions are rare, but they happen. There are a number of cities named Springfield, including those in Illinois, Massachusetts, and Missouri. If there may be confusion with your audience, it is better to be precise.

People, not persons

Our final style note concerns the use of the term people as opposed to persons. When more than one person is involved in a story, it is more conversational to refer to them as people, even though some style books continue to insist that a small group be referred to as persons. For example, in conversation we are more likely to say that “five people” are going to join us for dinner than we are to say that “five persons” will be joining us.

Test Your Knowledge

1. Where would you use contractions in the following sentences?

■ The governor says he will leave on vacation tomorrow.

■ There will be a dozen people at the reception.

■ The workers say they will walk off the job at noon.

■ Here is the latest word from the Weather Bureau.

■ Now let us take a look at what happened in baseball tonight.

2. What’s wrong with the following sentence, and how could it be improved for broadcast?

Two years after the crash of a helicopter into the Washington channel, the D.C. Fire Department has not provided scuba equipment and training for its fireboat personnel, despite an order from Congress to do so accompanied by an appropriation to pay for it.

3. Here is another complex sentence. How could you improve it for broadcast?

Higher rates for electricity could be one result of the miners’ strike against the Pittston Coal Company, which has forced some utilities to curtail sales of power to neighboring companies and to buy more expensive types of fuel, according to an industry spokesman.

4. Here are words that are not particularly good for broadcast. Think of an appropriate substitute for each:

5. Keeping in mind the suggestions for using prepositions and conjunctions, how could the following sentence be improved for broadcast?

The circus’ chief lion trainer did not take part in the show because he was sick. However, the apprentice trainer took over and his performance was loudly applauded.

6. There’s a pronoun problem in the following sentence. Identify it and explain how the sentence should read. “The governor accused his opponent, Taylor Bean, of mudslinging. After the exchange, he predicted he would win the election.”

7. What words and phrases could you use to replace the clichés in the following sentences?

■ The prisoners rampaged for more than an hour.

■ The White House announcement came on the heels of Iran’s invasion of Iraq.

■ The Republican candidate said he had no doubt that the tax issue would become a political football.

■ The loss of the home team and the amount of alcohol sold to the crowd led to the perfect storm of a riot.

8. What’s wrong with these sentences?

■ There was applause when the birthday cake was brought out by the chef.

■ The robber was grabbed by the sheriff as he tried to run from the bank.

■ The financial report was improved by the price of silver.

9. How could the verbs in these sentences be improved for broadcast?

■ The teacher declared that the student outing was postponed because of rain.

■ The mayor asserted that she would seek another term.

■ The president exclaimed that he would go to Camp David for the weekend.

10. What’s wrong with the attributions in the following sentences?

■ The nation’s economy is going to get worse before it gets better, according to a leading economist.

■ Hundreds of people were injured in rioting in Los Angeles, according to the police.

■ The final football score will be reviewed due to an illegal play, says the head umpire.

11. What’s wrong with the transition used to link the following sentences?

Forest fires swept through a number of states on the West Coast today, destroying hundreds of thousands of acres of trees. Also under fire is our town’s police chief, who is accused of failing to control some of his officers.