| CHAPTER 4 | |
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Words |
Good writing has nothing to do with word length or complexity. Good writing—including broadcast news—involves choosing words that convey a meaning that’s accurate, a tone or feel that’s appropriate and, wherever possible, a sound that matches the meaning.
First, get it right. You have no better friend than the dictionary. You can’t have too many of them, and they should be handy whenever and wherever placing words on paper is possible. Beware the thesaurus. This potentially useful tool can mislead writers into substituting longer and more complicated words of only approximate similarity to the original. Meanings must be precise, not approximate. A ship is not a boat; burglary is not the same as robbery.
Second, use words whose primary meaning and feel match what you’re trying to say. When the audience gets only one chance to understand what’s being said, we can’t defend our word choice because the fourth or fifth definition matches our intended meaning. The audience simply doesn’t have the luxury of thinking over what we’re trying to say. Use words the same way people most commonly do.
Third, think about sound. It’s called onomatopoeia when the sound of the word matches its meaning. Words like buzz and cuckoo are the most obvious, perhaps, but even the use of soft or hard sounds to describe soft or hard issues or events can strengthen your writing. Weed killer is almost always better than herbicide. Same length, same meaning, but weed killer is universally understood, easier to pronounce and has a far more graphic and harsh feel.
KEEP IT SIMPLE
Use simple words expressed in simple ways. Not simplistic, but simple. Broadcast news is not written for 12-year-olds; by and large, children neither watch nor listen to news. It is written for a large, diverse audience. There’s nothing wrong with using a big and, perhaps, not universally known word if it’s the most appropriate. But use such a word only in a context in which its meaning is clear. Don’t make the audience’s ability to understand a line dependent on knowing the definition of an obscure word.
| OBSCURE: | The suspect will be arraigned later today. |
| CLEARER: | The suspect faces court arraignment later today. |
| BETTER: | The suspect faces formal charges in court later today. |
KEEP IT CONVERSATIONAL
Informal Words
Use informal words—not slang or colloquialisms but informal. Broadcast news is a blend of written and spoken language. The way we tend to write is commonly too formal, but the way we commonly speak is a bit too casual. Broadcast writing is written the way we would speak if we could plan it out well. It’s what we wished we had said—after we were less eloquent extemporaneously.
Andy Rooney was television’s foremost and nearly official curmudgeon, and the 60 Minutes audience never wondered where Andy Rooney stood on an issue. Rooney used mostly short, simple wording and sentence construction— a straightforward frame to showcase powerful ideas. Writing for broadcast is “tricky,” Rooney says. “The trick is finding the middle ground between the way we write and the way we speak.”
A word you’re unlikely to hear in spoken English is rarely appropriate for broadcast. Only newspapers refer to legislators as solons or talk of people being feted—no normal person would do that. And only journalists call a fire a blaze or use the word some to mean about. Normal people don’t do that; you shouldn’t either.
Contractions
Use contractions; that’s how we speak. But be careful about contracting the word not. If the meaning of the sentence hinges on the audience hearing the n’t, you probably should not contract it.
RISKY: |
The senator says he isn’t running again. |
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BETTER: |
The senator says he is not running again. |
The riskiest contraction is can’t because the difference between the positive can and the negative can’t rests solely on the ability of the announcer to pronounce the t sound clearly. Generally, don’t take the chance.
Formal Terminology
Avoid formal terminology like male, female or juvenile. Other than police and the military, most people don’t talk that way. With rare exception, use man/ men, woman/women, child/children or kid/kids. Avoid pretentious or oblique terms. Generally, in broadcast, people do not pass away, nor are they late—they just die.
People … Not Persons
Although grammatically correct, the use of persons is, at best, stilted. One person is right, but more than one should be people.
KEEP IT CLEAR
Common Usage
Use words in the same context in which they’re normally used. Almost every word conjures up an image in the minds of the listeners and viewers—an image based on the common usage of the word they’re hearing. You can play with words for effect, and it’s wonderful if you can pull it off. But if you’re not careful, you’ll just confuse—as did the following examples used on the air by some large-market TV stations:
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PROBLEM: |
Governor Smith’s popularity isn’t looking very nice. In fact, it’s on a downhill slide. |
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PROBLEM: |
Ministers in town are crying for a citizen review board to keep an eye on police. |
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PROBLEM: |
A house subcommittee has fattened the governor’s tax package to support the next two-year state budget. |
In all three cases the writers used words in ways that just don’t compute. We don’t refer to popularity as nice. Popularity may be up or down or perhaps a few other things, but not nice. Ministers in town may be asking for, arguing for, demanding, perhaps even pleading for, but not crying. It’s also not likely that all ministers are involved, as the wording of this sentence suggests. And the word fattened just doesn’t work. People get fat; animals may be fattened up; there can be fat in a budget. But we’re just not used to hearing about a tax package that’s fattened.
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BETTER: |
A new survey says Governor Smith’s popularity is heading down. |
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BETTER: |
Some local ministers say we need a citizen review board to keep an eye on police. |
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BETTER: |
A house subcommittee has tacked on more taxes to the governor’s tax package. It’s all part of figuring out how the state will cover the next two-year budget. |
All the above examples use common words and terms the way we expect to hear them used.
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PROBLEM: |
Today people are spending a lot of money on new-fangled gadgets for their home. The latest is an electronic brain which does all the housework. All you have to do is push a button. |
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The oven can be started from telephone beeps. The furnace can be turned on from a button on the TV screen. |
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About two thousand homes have this stuff in them nationwide. |
The problem in this copy, which also went on the air, is that turning on the oven and furnace may be this unmarried, male reporter’s idea of housework, but it doesn’t match the way most of the audience thinks of it. That electronic brain doesn’t sweep, vacuum, dust or do dishes—all of which are part of what most people think of when you say housework.
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BETTER: |
This could be the gadget-lover’s heaven on earth … an electronic brain for the ultimate in remote control. Telephone beeps can start your oven … a button on the TV screen can turn on the furnace. |
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About two thousand homes have this Star Wars stuff in them nationwide. |
The pictures in TV are more likely to amplify the problems of a poorly selected word than compensate for it. Not only does the word have to be accurate and logical, it also has to blend with the picture the audience is seeing, which may further limit the writer’s choices. Words that fight with what viewers see can wind up canceling out both, leaving a bewildered audience.
Technical Terms
Technical terms are fine for technical publications; they don’t work in broadcast. It’s true that some technical terms do creep into everyday lexicon; however, unless the term has not only crept in but firmly implanted itself, it must have an explanation. Problems in scientific terminology tend to be obvious. Watch out for legal terms. Certiorari means various things depending on who’s asking for or granting it. It means nothing to most people in the audience.
And don’t invent your own terminology.
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PROBLEM: |
Researchers have discovered a body chemical that lures the cold virus away from its targets inside a nose - - where a cold starts. |
By the time the audience figures out what a body chemical is in this copy (which went on the air), they’ve missed the rest of the line. Sometimes the shortest way to say something isn’t the best. Here, what the reporter means is a chemical found naturally in the body.
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It isn’t a cure, but researchers have discovered a chemical that can help fight the common cold. The chemical - - which is found naturally in the body - - can lure the virus away from its targets inside a nose - - where a cold starts. |
Definite and indefinite Articles
Watch out for the definite article the. This innocuous-sounding word can get you in a lot of trouble if misused. Frequently, the acts to single out a specific thing or person.
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PROBLEM: |
Police arrested a man for the robbery last night. |
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PROBLEM: |
Police arrested the man for a robbery last night. |
Both examples have problems created by the word the. In the first example, if the audience isn’t familiar with last night’s robbery, the line raises as many questions as it answers: What robbery? Use a instead of the when the described person or thing is not specific or when referring to something you have not yet mentioned in a story. The same applies in the second example. What man? The may also indicate the one and only—as it does in the examples above. There’s a good chance more than one robbery took place last night, and more than one man may have been arrested.
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BETTER: |
Police have arrested a man for robbery. |
Notice that the can frequently be omitted when it precedes a plural—as in the above example, in which we say police rather than the police.
KEEP IT TIGHT
Don’t write phrases when words will do:
| WORDY AND WEAK PHRASES | TIGHTER AND MORE DIRECT WORDS |
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subsequent to |
after |
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prior to |
before |
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in an effort to |
to |
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for the purpose of |
to |
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in order to |
to |
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is of the opinion that |
believes |
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due to the fact that |
because |
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with the exception that |
except |
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in the near future |
soon |
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at this point in time |
now |
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being that |
since |
MAKE IT POWERFUL
Use Strong Nouns and verbs
Use nouns and verbs that say something, not just take up space. If the meaning or feeling of a phrase depends mostly on adverbs and adjectives, your writing is lazy. Rewrite.
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WEAK: |
The noisy crowd did not like the speaker. |
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BETTER: |
The crowd jeered [or booed] the speaker. |
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WEAK: |
Dozens of motorists were left stranded by a blizzard. |
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BETTER: |
A blizzard stranded dozens of motorists. |
See Chapter 5 for an explanation of writing in the punchier, preferred, active voice rather than the weaker, passive voice.
Avoid Weak Qualifiers
Avoid meaningless qualifiers that weaken the copy. Words like somewhat, fairly and very rarely add anything to copy.
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PROBLEM: |
Smith’s corporate wallet was somewhat emptied tonight. A federal court fined the defense contractor five million dollars. … |
In this example, used on the air, the use of somewhat makes a bad sentence even worse. What does a somewhat emptied corporate wallet look like? Stay with stronger terms that people know.
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BETTER: |
A federal court says Smith double-billed the government … and will have to pay five million dollars in fines. … |
GET IT RIGHT
Says
We use says all the time in journalism to convey someone’s thoughts to the audience:
| COMMON USAGE: |
The mayor says he’s against the plan. |
The word has the advantages of being short, to the point, universally understood and neutral in meaning. The biggest disadvantage in broadcast is the constant repetition of the word. Look for places where a substitute will work. Some possibilities are:
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acknowledge |
contend |
recite |
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admit |
declare |
recount |
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agree |
demand |
relate |
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allege |
disclose |
remark |
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announce |
divulge |
repeat |
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argue |
explain |
reply |
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challenge |
grant |
report |
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charge |
indicate |
respond |
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cite |
insist |
reveal |
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claim |
maintain |
speak |
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clarify |
mention |
specify |
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concede |
narrate |
swear |
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confess |
pronounce |
tell |
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confirm |
react |
testify |
Substitute words say more—and are likely to be better—if they’re right. But keep in mind that substitute words that express more meaning than says also run the risk of being inappropriate. Some of the words in the preceding list have clear legal implications (e.g., allege, claim, confess and testify). If the possible substitute isn’t completely accurate and appropriate, stay with says. Because we use the word all the time, we may get tired of it in broadcast copy; there’s no evidence the audience shares that concern.
Saying Too Much
Avoid words that convey editorial meanings. Words or phrases like only, tiny and so-called are frequently pejorative and have no place in good broadcast writing except direct quotes. Words like finally commonly imply that something took too long. Be careful. The audience rightly resents being told how to feel or what to think; stay with the facts.
One of the points that many of the great reporters make is that we work way too hard trying to manipulate the audience into feeling a certain way, instead of letting the audience feel the story—and come to their own conclusions.
“Why are you shouting at me?” Deborah Potter, former network correspondent and current Executive Director of NewsLab, says the audience is complaining. “Just tell me what happened.”
“Our writing is overstuffed and needs to go on a diet,” she says. “You end up with stories full of emotion-laden adjectives like ‘tragic’ and ‘terrifying’ and ‘horrible’ and ‘unthinkable’ and ‘unbelievable’ and those kinds of words, all of which are designed to tell our viewers and listeners how they’re supposed to feel about a story, but that eat up the time we could be spending on providing the detail that would allow our viewers and listeners to feel something.”
Think
Write as if you had to defend every word you use. Is it the best choice possible? Is it the most accurate? Is it the most telling? Does it work with the video? From time to time we do have to defend every word to an irate listener or viewer—or in court. We’d be better off all the time if we thought that way before we started.
COMMON PROBLEMS
These are some of the many words and terms commonly misused, misunderstood or mispronounced.
accident: BE CAREFUL. Accidents happen all the time, but so do intentional acts. Don’t predetermine cause by a haphazard word choice.
ad hoc: Means for a specific purpose only. It’s redundant and wordy to say: The governor has just created an ad hoc committee to study the issue. Leave off ad hoc.
admit: BE CAREFUL. Other than meaning to grant entrance (a usage that should be avoided in broadcast because of its awkwardness), the word means to concede or confess and implies an acknowledgment of wrongdoing. Generally, limit use of admit to legal and quasi-legal issues where it’s clearly appropriate.
alleged: BE CAREFUL, and in general, don’t use this word. See Chapter 5, “Phrases and Phrasing,” and the crime and legal section of Chapter 20, “Reporting: Specialized Coverage.”
alumna, alumnae, alumni, alumnus: Alumna refers to one woman graduate or former student of a specific institution; alumnae is the plural for women. Use alumnus for one male graduate or former student; alumni is plural for men and should be used as the plural for a group of men and women.
among, between: Generally, use among when something is in the midst of more than two people or things; use between when something is in the midst of two people or things.
and/or: Don’t use this stilted expression in broadcast copy.
as: See because.
average, mean, median: Take the numbers 2, 6 and 7; the average is the total (15) divided by the number of items being totaled (3). The average here is 5. The mean is the same as the average, but use average because it’s more widely understood. The median is the middle figure in an ascending or descending series—in this case, 6. Generally, stick with average and write around the others.
because, since, as: Because shows a cause-and-effect relationship; since or as usually reflects a time relationship (one took place after the other), but the relationship is more indirect than cause and effect.
between: See among.
bi-, semi-: Unfortunately, depending on the source, bi- means either once every two or twice a. Those opposing meanings suggest that not using the prefix may be best in the interests of clarity. Semi- means half or twice a, but use the term only in a familiar context.
boat, ship: These terms are not synonymous. A boat is generally considered a small vessel, although ferryboats, PT boats and submarines are exceptions. Ships are larger, frequently oceangoing vessels.
bring, take: Bring involves transporting something to the speaker (here); take involves transporting it away from the speaker (there).
casualties: Includes dead and injured or sick.
cement, concrete: Cement and concrete are not the same. Cement powder is one of the ingredients in concrete.
centers around: Makes no sense; use centers on or revolves around.
claim: BE CAREFUL. Claim means to demand or assert a right (generally in a legal sense). keep usage of this word in that context; it’s not synonymous with says.
concrete: See cement.
consensus: General majority agreement, but not unanimous. The phrase consensus of opinion is redundant.
continual, continuous: Continual means ongoing at intervals; continuous means ongoing without stop.
convince, persuade: Convince generally means inducing someone to believe something; persuade involves inducing someone to some action.
cop: Slang for police, police officer. Better to say police.
crisis: Not every problem—or even every dangerous situation—is a crisis. Don’t overuse. Plural is crises (KRI seez).
currently: Currently means now. Presently means soon.
daylight saving time: Note that daylight saving time is singular. See more in Chapter 19, “Reporting: Seasonal Coverage and the Calendar.”
dialogue: An overused word that all too frequently replaces the simpler and more accurate talk.
die, kill: All people eventually die; some people are killed. Use die when death results from natural causes.
drugs: This word has taken on the meaning of narcotics (illegal, controlled substances) and should generally not be used as a synonym for medicine.
elderly: BE CAREFUL. This may be viewed as negative or simply inappropriate. As healthcare improves, the age at which people are “elderly” gets older. If you use the term at all, limit its use to over 70 or even 75.
emigrate, immigrate: Emigrate means to leave a country to settle elsewhere; immigrate means to enter a country from outside.
ensure, insure: Unless you’re speaking about insurance, the proper word is ensure—to guarantee, to make sure of.
equal time, fairness: In broadcasting, equal time (passed by Congress) relates to political candidates only. Better called equal opportunity, it means that all candidates for the same office must be treated equally (outside of news), whether in opportunities to buy commercials or free appearances. The repealed Fairness Doctrine related to issues only. It said that stations must treat all sides of controversial issues in a reasonable manner—not equally, but reasonably.
execute: In the sense of dead, only governments, by virtue of law, can execute. Terrorists or individuals kill, assassinate or murder; they do not execute.
Fairness Doctrine: See equal time, fairness.
February: Although difficult to pronounce properly, there are two r’s in February. See also library, hundred and nuclear.
fewer, less: Both mean the same, but fewer relates to numbers and less relates to amount, more abstract ideas, bulk numbers and singular nouns and pronouns. One has fewer dollars, but less money.
figuratively, literally: Figuratively means like (as in a metaphor); literally means exactly, precisely.
firefighter, fireman: Although common in usage, use the gender neutral term firefighter. If you wouldn’t say firewoman (and you wouldn’t), don’t say fireman.
flammable, inflammable: Both mean exactly the same thing—easily ignited—but use flammable because too many people think inflammable means the opposite of its correct definition.
gay: This word’s only current usage relates to homosexuality, and it should be used as first reference.
ghetto: BE CAREFUL. This means a section of a city overwhelmingly inhabited by members of a minority group. The term also implies that a minority group has been forced to live in that section, so don’t use this term lightly.
good, well: Good is almost always an adjective meaning well-done, worthy, kind and the like. Well is almost always an adverb meaning properly (except as an adjective meaning healthy).
gun: Acceptable term for any firearm.
half-mast, half-staff: What takes place in honoring the dead. Half-mast is for ships and naval stations; half-staff is on land.
Halley’s Comet: Currently accepted pronunciation is HAL (as in pal) eez, not HAIL eez.
hang, hanged, hung: Everything hangs. People are or have been hanged; everything else has been hung.
hundred: Pronounced HUHN dred, not HUHN derd.
illegal: BE CAREFUL. Use this word only in reference to a violation of law—and with proper attribution. See the crime and legal section of Chapter 20, “Reporting: Specialized Coverage.”
immigrate: See emigrate.
impact: Don’t use this word as a verb.
indict: Use this word only in its legal context of bringing charges. See the crime and legal section of Chapter 20, “Reporting: Specialized Coverage.”
inflammable: See flammable.
insure: See ensure.
irregardless: Not a word. Use regardless instead.
issue: Saying that something is a controversial issue is redundant; it wouldn’t be an issue if it weren’t controversial.
key: Another overworked word that only works, if at all, in the spirit of its original meaning of opening a lock.
kid, kids: Perfectly acceptable in broadcast for child, children.
kill: See die.
knot: See mile.
lady, woman: Use lady only in quotes and in formal titles (as in Lady Marian); otherwise, use woman, women.
less: See fewer.
library: As with February, there are two r’s in library, and both must be pronounced.
literally: See figuratively.
major: Another overworked word.
majority, plurality: Majority means more than half; plurality means more than any other (as in the winner of a three-way race, perhaps).
massive: Another word worth resting.
mean, median: See average.
media: Includes all media and requires a plural verb (singular is medium). Use media rather than press unless you’re specifically referring to print media only.
mile, knot: Mile is a measure of distance (5,280 feet), as distinguished from knot, which is a speed of one nautical mile (6,076.1 feet) per hour. See the weather section of Chapter 18, “News, Weather & Sports.”
none: Usually means no one or not one and almost always takes a singular verb.
NOW: National Organization for Women—not of.
nuclear: Pronounced NU klee ur, not NU kyu lur.
persuade: See convince.
plurality: See majority.
presently, currently: See currently.
press conference: Most broadcasters prefer news conference because press refers to print media only, although some argue that the term news conference elevates most of these gatherings beyond their substance.
rebut, refute: Rebut means to argue against with evidence; refute means to prove wrong. Don’t confuse the two.
semi-: See bi-.
ship: See boat.
since: See because.
some: Means an unspecified number. Its use to mean about (e.g., some one hundred years ago) is classic journalese. Normal people don’t talk like that. If you mean about, say about.
sources: An overworked, meaningless term that should be used more carefully. Don’t use the word alone; it doesn’t say enough to give any credence to a report or bit of information. Don’t use with unnamed. The source does have a name, making the correct term unidentified. Even so, use some accompanying word or substitute phrase that provides more substance to the source (e.g., a senior White House official says …).
survey: BE CAREFUL. Don’t use this word when there really hasn’t been a formal survey.
take: See bring.
that, which, who: As pronouns, use who to reference people; use the appropriate choice of that or which to reference things.
toward: Not towards.
unique: Means the one and only. No adjective modifying unique makes much sense. Things cannot be more or less unique.
viable: Means able to live. Much overworked term.
warn: Means to inform of possible trouble. Don’t use the word when what’s involved is really a statement and not a warning.
well: See good.
whether or not: Should almost always be just whether.
which, who: See that.
wide-ranging: Overworked phrase.
woman: See lady.
SUMMARY
Choose your words carefully, making sure that they’re accurate, are used the way most people use the word, and, if possible, have a sound that matches the meaning. keep your word choice simple and conversational. Use contractions, but watch out for technical terms and words that may convey editorial meaning.
KEY WORDS & PHRASES
accuracy
tone
sound
simple
conversational
contractions
common usage
definite and indefinite articles
loaded words
EXERCISES
A. The following sentences have errors and/or words, phrases or means of expression not acceptable for broadcast writing. Make them acceptable.
1. An unidentified man was hurt this morning when he was shot by robbers during a hold-up at Smith’s Supermarket.
2. Certiorari was granted today in the case of Smith v. Jones by the State Supreme Court.
3. The superintendent of schools has stated that the air quality tests conducted in all of the districts 70 schools might be invalidated for 45 of the aforementioned schools.
4. Extensive rebuilding, reconstruction and renovation is what the building inspector said would be required for the dilapidated and run down housing project.
5. Last month the consumer price index took a 0.4% increase.
6. Although the 2 females and 1 male were searched for by members of the police department, but the men in blue weren’t able to locate them.
7. The ruling by the state’s highest supreme court has many local attorney’s in the legal community here very displeased.
8. The govenor has decided to dulcify his critics by reluming the capitol dome.
9. The leader of Belize will travel to America to meet with members of Pres. Obama’s administration over the new 6% import duty, according to the leader.
10. Being that there were 3 robberies last night, the police decided to elevate the number of units that would be driving around the apparently endangered area.
B. Record the first block of a radio or television newscast, and rewrite at least one story using fewer words and tighter phrasing—without sacrificing any important information.