The significance of listening

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. — Epictetus

Contemporary articles emphasize the importance of listening in the workplace. First, listening may be a hidden resource because it is overlooked, according to Melissa Daimler, writing in the Harvard Business Review. Second, effective listening has tangible benefits. In her article “Why is Listening Important in a Business Organisation?,” Janice Tingum explains that listening is a way of getting information and building trust.

Our society seems to have a clear bias toward speaking. Speaking often is portrayed as active and virtuous. Being quiet sometimes is portrayed as passive and weak. For example, the United States guarantees freedom of speech. Citizens are encouraged to speak out. We even have clubs, such as Toastmasters, for speaking and award prizes for the best speakers.

Now think about listening. Many people have had a formal, organized class on public speaking, but, according to Angel Petty and Robert Engel, few people have had a formal class on listening. When we are poor speakers, our bodies let us know that we are struggling. We perspire, our heart rate increases, our faces turn red, and we get a lump in our throats. Poor listening may not have any physical symptoms. Our ears do not twitch. Our brains do not heat up. Unless we pay close attention to the cues other people give us, we may not be able to detect that we are ineffective listeners.

In daily life, listening is often neglected, despite lip service to the contrary. We say we listen to clients and customers, but do we really listen? Judging from the level of complaints from employees, clients, or customers, we are not listening.

When we discuss listening, we usually divide the subject into two parts:

• Hearing
• Listening

Hearing is the physical process of receiving sound waves. Think of our vibrating eardrums and of nerves transmitting input to our brains.

Listening, in our approach, is everything else beyond hearing such as receiving, understanding, memory, and evaluation.

Look at the following examples of careers in which listening is an important skill. Notice how the process is a combination of hearing plus listening.

Let us start with some technical examples. Sonar operators must listen effectively. Even if we grant that visual displays of data help, the fact is that good sonar operators are good listeners. They can hear faint noises. They can discern small differences in sounds.

Some physicians are outstanding listeners with a stethoscope. They can listen to a human heart and discern subtle clues about heart valve operation.

An effective auto mechanic may be an effective listener. An auto mechanic may compare the sounds of an engine that needs to be repaired with an “internal template” of the sounds of a smoothly running engine.

Now think about social service professions. The most obvious example of effective listeners is counselors and therapists who use listening as a tool. Listening is an aid in diagnosis. Listening also may be therapeutic in two ways. First, the client may achieve a form of catharsis through speaking and being heard. Second, the client may develop solutions through the interaction with the counselor.

On average, one would think we spend most of our day speaking as our major form of communication with others. However, Andrew Wolvin and other researchers have found that listening takes up 45% to 55% of our total communication time. Of the four main communication activities—listening, speaking, reading, writing—listening is the most important activity in terms of percentage of time spent each day. Think about the amount of time spent listening to YouTube videos, television, radio, people engaged in conversations around you, and so on.

As discussed in chapter 1, we spend the following percentage of our communication time and energy on the following:

• Listening: 55%
• Speaking: 23%
• Reading: 13%
• Writing: 8%

There may be variations in the aforementioned data given the nature of one’s profession. Some professionals use their eyes more than their ears. Overall, however, everyone can benefit from paying more attention to audio input, as well as the processes through which we interpret that input.

In addition to understanding how much of our daily communication energy is spent on listening, one needs to factor into the equations the rates of speaking and hearing. Look at the following:

• The average person understands about 300 words per minute.
• The average person speaks at a rate of about 100 words per minute.

The aforementioned data suggest that if someone is speaking to us at a rate of 100 words per minute, our mind can process not only what they are saying but other information as well. Remember the last time you attended a meeting and while someone was speaking, you listened and, at the same time, thought about what you were going to do after the meeting, for example, pick up your child at basketball practice or stop by the grocery store for tonight’s dinner.

So-called “multi-tasking” today means that a listener may be fiddling with a smartphone while trying to perceive what is going on in a training event or a business meeting.

What the data suggest is that even though we spend a lot of time hearing what is going on in our environment, we are not always truly listening to it. Without purposefully forcing ourselves to listen, our minds will take over and we lose focus . . . daydream . . . think about other things that are more important to us, or focus more on our own thoughts and feelings than what is occurring in our environment.

Also, these data highlight one of the reasons we have trouble remembering everything we hear. We engage in the physiological process of hearing but we fail to engage with the information in such a way that is stays in our memory. Remember from chapter 1, researchers found that if we are exposed to an idea 1 time, after 30 days, we retain about 10% of what we heard. However, if we are exposed to the same idea three to six times, our retention level increases to 90%. Repetition of important information is crucial to our ability to process and remember it.

The benefits of listening

Listening is powerful for a variety of reasons. Bruce Rogers and Dorothy Zemach in their book, Listening Power, list many of these reasons:

• Listening is a source of information and can enhance negotiating and team building.
• Listening is a form of social support.
• Listening contributes to high quality decisions.
• Listening helps with change management.
• Listening helps to attract more clients and improve sales.

Listening is a source of information. Listening helps us to gather information. Information is power. Therefore, Carryl Baldwin identifies the cognitive aspects of listening as a source of personal and professional power, in the book Auditory Cognition and Human Performance. For example, careful listening to a client can help a professional understand the central issues in a particular situation and enhance their negotiation skills as well as help with team building and collaboration and partnering opportunities.

Listening is a form of social support. Listening conveys what communication coaches call “social support.” Listening is very affirming. When we listen to someone, we are demonstrating that the person is important and we value what they have to say. Our listening communicates that we are willing to devote time and attention to the other person. Our listening is a form of personal affirmation.

Listening contributes to high quality decisions. Another reason that listening is so important in business is that careful listening affords time for reflection and higher quality decisions. Being quiet in the face of information and emotions from employees, co-workers, or clients gives us an opportunity to do a better job of receiving and processing the input. We also buy time to seek further information through appropriate questions, to consider alternatives, and to arrive at better business decisions.

Listening helps with change management. Writing about “Workplace Diversity,” Charlie Jordan, from The Brightboldt Group, argues we often think of diversity mainly in terms of gender, race, or ethnicity. However, whenever our organizations undergo change, there is often a diversity of opinion about the change and the impact of the change. Perhaps a product is eliminated from the company’s product line or layoffs are announced. Some employees will be vocal in their response to the announcements.

When managers take the time to listen to the diversity of opinions about the changes, often they can learn a lot about how employees are thinking and gauge the affect those changes will have on employee morale and productivity. Sometimes the insight from the employees, especially the front-line employees can prevent the company from making a mistake that will be costlier in the long run, states John Marshall, in his Forbes article about launching brands internally.

Contemporary launch programs in business no longer are limited to one internal announcement and a “pep rally.” Better roll-out programs start inside the company and may take a year. Why? It is important to listen to the members of an organization and obtain their buy-in, prior to the public launch because internal transition can be just as vital to an organization’s overall success.

Listening attracts more clients and sales. According to John Bowen, Jr., in his article in Financial Planning, titled “6 Ways to Attract the Affluent,” “…your major focus should be on cultivating referrals from other professional advisers, in particular, accountants and attorneys.”

Citing a survey of 512 financial advisers, Bowen reports that 64.4% of those surveyed said that their best new clients (clients who had at least $500,000 in ready-to-invest assets) were referred by an “accountant” or “attorney.” In light of these facts, we would be wise to reconsider two communication skill sets that are essential for the professional CPA—networking and personal sales. Kevin Bass, in his article “4 Strategies for Generating New Tax Clients,” and Michelle Long, in her article, “5 Tips to Generate Referrals,” agree that these skills are part of the communication skill set required to capture referrals.

Many of us engage in “networking” without thinking about it. We may be “outgoing,” “people-persons,” or even “joiners” of professional and community organizations. For others, interacting with professional colleagues is a bit more difficult, perhaps even awkward. Regardless of our comfort levels with the networking process the easiest and best way to improve our networking skills is to listen to others.

The same advice can be said for personal sales. First impressions matter, so the initial telephone call, email, or consultation is important. What shall you say at the initial meeting? Our advice? Do not say too much in the early stages. Listen. As appropriate, ask some on-target questions and follow-up questions. Emotions are a critical factor in the initial meeting. Therefore, building trust should be the focus and listening is an important tool for establishing rapport.

Knowledge check

1. Which statement is correct?
   1. Immediate recall of information is known as long-term listening.
   2. Listening to a lecture and recalling details at a later date is known as academic listening.
   3. The ability to screen out input is known as distracted listening.
   4. Successful listening is everything else beyond hearing, including understanding, memory, and evaluation.
2. If on average, people can speak 100 words per minute, and people process 300 words per minute, what might be happening while you are conducting a meeting?
   1. Employees hear and process every word you say.
   2. Employees process 50 words per minute, so it is important to speak slowly.
   3. Employees will not daydream if you speak slower than 100 words per minute.
   4. Employees may hear what you say, but also are able to think about other things, such as where they want to go for lunch.

Distracted listening

In the 21st century, communication devices and the praise given to “multi-tasking” may contribute to “distracted listening.” We may be playing with our smartphone while someone is speaking to us. The result is that we are not giving the other person our undivided attention. We are not really listening. Just as “distracted driving” can lead to automobile crashes, distracted listening can wreck our conversations and the development of potential relationships.

It is hard to combat the cultural trend toward distracted listening, but we must try in our CPA firms. The first step is to make a commitment to 100% listening when we are conversing with a client or a staff person. In some cases, that commitment means turning off our other communication devices. The second step is to get rid of the fear that we might be missing something important if we are disconnected.

What is really important? Phil Jackson’s book, Eleven Rings, suggests that the present moment is what is important, not the past nor the future. By living in the moment, by being present for others, and by observing what others are doing now, Jackson became the winningest coach in the history of the National Basketball Association.

Listening styles

Listening style and response style vary from context to context and person to person, according to Ronald Adler and Russell Proctor, in their book Looking Out, Looking In. For example, some students like to study with loud, fast-paced music, whereas some workers like to complete tasks with soft, slow music in the background. However, four styles of listening, based on four variables (people, action, content, and time), seem to be most common.

People-oriented listening style. Listeners who prefer this style of listening are comfortable with the feelings and emotions of others. They will seek out others with common interests and respond to the emotions of the speaker.

Action-oriented listening style. People with a preference for this style like to be with others who are able to present their thoughts and ideas in direct and concise ways. When forced to listen to a disorganized presentation, they become impatient and frustrated.

Content-oriented listening style. In this style of listening, the listener enjoys information that is complex and challenging. They like to process, think about, and evaluate what they have heard before giving feedback, judgment, or evaluation.

Time-oriented listening style. This type of listener wants their communications to be brief, quick, and to the point. They are comfortable letting people know how much time they are willing to allot for the interaction. And they will interrupt others when they feel under pressure.

Levels of listening

When the decision has been made to listen more intently to what a co-worker, client or family member is saying, it can be helpful to think about focusing on the nonverbals displayed by the speaker, the verbals or words used by the speaker, and the emotions expressed by the speaker. By focusing on all three, the listener can enhance their ability to understand the speaker’s message.

Nonverbals. When it comes to listening, nonverbals are important for the listener and the speaker. It is important for the listener to display nonverbals that indicate that they are listening, and to pick up on the nonverbals displayed by the speaker, for example:

• Create a climate that enhances listening, such as comfortable chairs that face each other. An environment without distractions, such as radios, computers, telephones, and interruptions by others.
• Look interested in what the speaker has to say by leaning forward in your chair. Uncross your arms and legs so that your body appears more open and receptive to the speaker. Make appropriate eye contact with the speaker.
• Observe and note the nonverbals of the speaker. Does the speaker appear comfortable talking to you or guarded? Are they making eye contact or are they distracted by what is going on around them? Are they fidgeting or keeping their arms crossed? As the listener it is your job to try to sort out what the speaker is saying based on their nonverbals. Remember from chapters 1 and 3, actions speak louder than words. You will probably pick up more of the speaker’s message from their nonverbals than their words.

Verbals. The speaker should be doing most of the talking if effective listening is to occur. As the listener, focusing on the speaker’s word choice as well as the intonation of their voice is an important way to decipher and understand what they are trying to say to you.

Silence can be powerful as well. If the speaker pauses or needs time to reflect, let silence occur. It is not important to fill up the air space.

Emotions. As the listener, you will understand more of the speaker’s message if you also pay attention to the underlying emotions expressed by the speaker. Are the nonverbals and verbals of the speaker suggesting to you anger, happiness, or sadness? If you detect strong emotions, it might be appropriate to acknowledge that you sense the speaker is feeling frustrated by the situation they are telling you about.

According to Adler and Proctor, what has been called emotional intelligence (EI) fundamentally is the ability to discern feelings through a close observation of verbal and nonverbal cues, including our own. Listening is the foundation of emotional intelligence. If an investment adviser can discern that a couple is risk-aversive AND worried about putting their daughter through college, then the professional has much more information upon which to base recommendations.

Fear of listening or receiver apprehension

Some people suffer from stage fright, that is, anxiety about speaking. Shaughan Keaton, writing in the article “Information Reception Apprehension Test (IRAT),” confirms that Lawrence Wheeless was correct in pointing us toward another form of communication anxiety— “receiver apprehension.”

In the face of difficult, complex, technical information, some listeners may almost shut down. They turn off processing, or they block processing. Some of the anxious listeners may blame the source of the information.

For example, a CPA or an estate planner may notice that a client appears to be overwhelmed by new, technical information. The client may get angry with the professional, almost in the fashion of “slaying the messenger.” The problem may not be the message or the messenger. The problem may be listening-based.

Knowledge check

3. Listeners who are comfortable with the common interests and emotions of the speaker
   1. Are good at interpreting the speaker’s nonverbals.
   2. Have a content-oriented listening style.
   3. Do not have a specific type of listening style.
   4. Have a people-oriented listening style.
4. When making the decision to listen more closely to the speaker, it is a good idea to focus upon the speaker’s
   1. Level of anxiety about speaking openly to you.
   2. Words, nonverbals, and the underlying emotions being expressed.
   3. Listening style.
   4. Sensitivity to background noise.

Rehearsal and memory techniques

The first rule of processing talk effectively is to control external or physical distractions as much as possible. The office should be quiet and comfortable. Reduce or eliminate irritating and distractions noises, such as fans and cooling systems.

Remember we can process talk faster than speakers can speak. Therefore, we have time left for other purposes. We can enhance our listening effectiveness if we use the extra time to stay on the subject or topics near the main subject. For example, if a client is speaking about stocks, we should concentrate on stocks as much as possible. If our attention starts to drift, we could think of something related to stocks, such as other kinds of investments.

Rehearsal and memory techniques are some ways to use extra processing time. Here are two proven techniques:

• Patterns and sequences. Try to divide the material you are hearing into natural or logical patterns and sequences. If you are listening to numerical data, for example, you might be able to organize the data from largest number to smaller number. Alternatively, you might find that the data contain some even number—odd number that is useful as an aid to memory.
• Association techniques. Connect what you are hearing to something else. Some listening coaches suggest using vivid, graphic images for the associations. For example, names at a business meeting might be associated with animals starting with the same letter (Karl Kangaroo). The association, Karl Kangaroo, is even more effective if Karl is from Australia. Acronyms are another kind of association. If we hear a list of five items, we could associate each one with a letter, so that the five letters spelled a word.

Questions

Asking appropriate questions is a great way to enhance listening. The best advice for constructing good questions is to respect the speaker by staying on the speaker’s topic, at least for the first, clarifying question. Notice what a good question accomplishes:

• Clarifies the content (and perhaps the emotional intensity) of the speaker’s message
• Obtains more information
• Demonstrates affirmation of the speaker

Knowledge check

5. When listening to someone speaking, which item below is a good idea to use in order to increase your retention of what they said?
   1. Use rehearsal and memory techniques.
   2. Close your eyes and meditate while they are talking to you.
   3. Wait 24 hours before trying to remember what they said, because a good night’s sleep helps you to remember every word they said.
   4. Never ask questions while the speaker is talking because that is rude.

Listening with respect in the 21^st century

It is hard to tell where listening is going in contemporary society. On the surface, it seems there is more “clutter” in the amount of information that is available. It also appears that attention spans are shorter than they used to be.

In the workplace, a manager should try another strategy—to grow a culture of respect. An emphasis on listening to one another is one way to create a culture of respect. For example, if coaching meetings with employees are unhurried two-way conversations, then a manager is effective listening within a context of respect.

Exercises and discussion questions