Chapter 7

The Abundance Myth

The next morning, Josh, Cor, and Amy sat at a patio table at a small café. Josh was holding court, enthusiastically summarizing what he'd learned. “…So you see,” he said to a wide eyed waitress, “you can't just set goals and then expect them to happen. The goals are telling you where to go, sure, but they're also telling you what to do to get there.”

The waitress opened her mouth to speak.

“But there's a potential trap there,” Josh continued. “We keep thinking we need to know more in order to know what to do. We're always getting ready to get ready. That's a myth as well. Knowledge without action is useless. We don't need to know more. We need to do more of what we know.”

The waitress opened her mouth, but was again cut off. Cor and Amy struggled to hold in their laughter as heads began to turn at other tables.

“But why aren't you doing more of what you know?” Josh didn't wait for an answer. “Because you've fallen prey to the Failure Myth. You're afraid to fail. You aim, aim, aim, aim, aim, aim, and never fire because you think failure is bad, when in fact it's the path to success.”

The waitress interrupted. “My goal is to set down this coffee. I know how to do it, believe me, but my fingers are starting to burn, and if I fail, it'll be your lap that's on the path to success.”

Cor and Amy burst out laughing. Josh stammered an apology, and sat back, red faced. “I guess I was a bit excited,” he said.

“It's okay. I was the same way,” said Amy. “That's good news.”

“So what happens next?”

“Do you think you have everything you need to move forward? To apply the principles?” asked Cor.

Josh blew on his coffee and took a tentative sip.

“I feel like I know where I'm headed,” he began. “And I know what to do.” He paused.

“You seem a little unsure,” Cor said.

Josh thought back to his struggle at the office the previous day. “I tried to embrace the idea that it's okay to stumble,” Josh continued. “So I decided to make some calls. Just…do them. And they went okay. I felt pretty good, actually.”

“But?” Cor said gently.

“But I'm not sure what to say, exactly. It's not like I've never made sales calls. I just don't seem to be that good at it. I think I've survived this long on good fortune. I guess you could say, I know what to do, but maybe not how to do it. I'm not afraid of failing anymore. I'd just like to do a lot less of it.”

Amy and Cor both burst out laughing, and Josh felt his spirits rise. “What I did realize, though, was that I was neglecting the most powerful part of the failure myth. That failure can be a route to success. So…I went back to where this all started,” he continued. “To the night I got back from the seminar. I…” he trailed off, and looked at Amy sheepishly.

“What?” Amy asked.

“I hope you're not angry. But I called our neighbors. The Haltons? The ones who listed with you? And asked if I could come by to speak to them.” Josh looked down at the floor. “I wasn't soliciting them at all. I just wanted to know how to improve. But if you're angry, I completely understand.”

“Angry? Josh, that's fantastic!”

“It is?”

“You've truly embraced the truth behind the Failure Myth. You looked to a past failure to find a path forward.”

“Well, there really was a path forward in the failure. Ben referred someone to me and I'm convinced it's because I was so open to learning from what happened. If it's who I think it is,” Josh continued, “Then it's a pretty big opportunity. I have a meeting scheduled for Saturday.” He looked up. “It could be enough to help me keep my job.”

Cor smiled knowingly. Josh had the feeling the old man was never really surprised by anything. He always seems to be one step ahead, Josh thought.

“You still seem a little unsure,” Cor said, interrupting his thoughts.

“Well…” Josh fingered his cup. “Going to see the Haltons was the right choice. It certainly got me past being angry with them. They were thrilled that I'd called, and apologized for not listing with me. They were feeling awkward about it, too. So we got through that, and we're friends. No hard feelings. And, of course, I just got a lead that might change my whole career.”

“It all sounds fantastic, Josh,” Amy said.

“It does. But,” he turned to Cor. “I really went there wanting to understand why they'd picked Amy instead of me. It wouldn't have cost more to use me, and we provide much the same service. When I asked, though, they had a tough time explaining it. So…I suppose to sum it all up: I'm feeling okay with taking more chances. Making the calls, doing the things I know I should without being afraid. But I feel like there's something I'm missing. Like with Ben and Alexa. I didn't get the sale, and even when I overcame my fear of failure to go back to them to ask them why, I'm still not exactly sure that I know. Now I'm worried I'm going to blow this big opportunity for the same reason.”

Amy set down her cup. “What exactly did they say, Josh? Can you remember?”

Josh thought for a moment. “They kept saying that they felt you were just so interested in giving them all the help they needed, that they just felt it was the right thing to do.”

Cor and Amy exchanged glances. Amy smiled.

“Josh. You couldn't have picked a more perfect way to start the morning.”

An hour later, Josh, Cor, and Amy stood on the granite steps of a large office building.

This is more like it, Josh thought. They were in front of Welstood's, a wealthy private equity firm in the city notorious for its high profits and well heeled clientele. One client from this place, Josh thought. And I'd be set for a long time.

Inside the building, a receptionist took their names, then ushered them into a private elevator. He turned a key and the elevator began to rise. Josh raised his eyebrows to Amy, and she smiled.

When the elevator stopped, the door opened, and the receptionist stepped aside to lead them directly into a vast private office, with glass walls revealing a stunning view in every direction. Across the room, a man looked up from a large desk where he was in quiet conversation with a woman. He waved to Amy, said a few more words to the woman, and she left through a side door with a large stack of paper.

The man got up from the desk, and walked toward them. “Amy,” he boomed. “Cor! So great to see you. And you must be Josh. I'm Tyler Hastings. Welcome.”

Josh shook the man's hand. He seemed quite young to Josh, but astonishingly confident, without seeming brash or vain. “First things first,” Tyler said. “What can I offer you? Something to drink?” Tyler picked up the phone and ordered some refreshments, then motioned them to a seating area near the windows.

“Okay,” Tyler said. “Tell me exactly how I can help. What can I do for you?”

Josh was taken aback. He was meeting with the CEO of one of the wealthiest firms in the city. It was already a favor beyond all favors. And now the man wanted to know what else he could offer? And he seems absolutely genuine, Josh thought.

“Josh?” Amy prompted.

“Sorry,” Josh smiled. “I…wasn't expecting to be here.” He very quickly summarized his predicament, and how Amy and Cor were helping.

“Well, you're in good hands, I can assure you,” Tyler said. “Cor changed my life. I wouldn't be here without his help.”

Josh was stunned. He looked at Cor and wondered again what secrets the old man in the dirty coveralls was keeping from him.

“The problem right now,” Josh said, “Is that I don't seem to be able to close sales. To seal the deal, I guess. I don't have,” he paused, not wanting to offend Tyler, “your advantages,” he said at last.

“My advantages?” he asked.

“Well…one look at this place…and…I mean. You've got an amazing office, expensive clothes. Probably an incredible car. You can afford to really impress your clients.”

“Ahhh,” Tyler said. “I see. And you see those things as markers for success?”

“Of financial success, certainly.”

Tyler turned to Amy. “A classic case of the Abundance Myth in action, wouldn't you say?”

“The Abundance Myth?” Josh asked.

“The Abundance Myth,” Tyler repeated. “It's a common misconception, Josh. People believe that abundance is about getting. That success is about getting richer. Getting more stuff. Getting ahead. Getting the deal. Getting the sale. Getting a break. Getting a leg up. Getting it done. As a culture, we're obsessed with getting.”

“Well,” Josh searched for the right words, but came up empty.

“It's okay, Josh. You can just speak your mind freely. We've all been where you are right now.”

Josh looked around and thought, I doubt it. “Okay,” he began. “This may sound shallow, but I actually do want to get. I'd like to get ahead. To get the sale. To get more done. To get a lucky break. That's part of what success means to me.”

Tyler smiled. “Look around, Josh. I think we can agree that I enjoy those things, too. Here's the distinction: I see those things as the end result of success. Most people see them as the way to get there.”

“I'm not sure I get that. How can a beautiful office building worth millions be…the way to get an office building worth millions? Who would think that?”

“Well, to be blunt, you would. You just told me that success would be easy for me because I have all these things at my disposal.”

Josh blushed.

“Let's use a different example, Josh. What are you driving these days?”

Josh gave him the make and model.

“That's a nice vehicle. Pay cash?”

“I leased it. I didn't really have the cash. Actually,” he looked down at the floor, “I didn't even have a down payment.”

“You can get a pretty fine car for half that price, Josh. Why'd you pick that one when you couldn't afford it?”

Josh felt his face redden. He'd never told anyone why. After an awkward pause, he said softly, “I wanted a nicer car than Amy.”

There was a long silence. “Oh Josh,” Amy said. “You must be killing yourself trying to make payments on that thing.”

“It has been an extra burden I didn't need. But I thought the sales it would generate would more than justify it.”

“So you thought getting a better car would deliver more sales?” Tyler asked gently.

Josh smiled. “I guess I did.”

“The idea that we should ‘get’ in order to ‘get’ is probably the greatest problem facing our society right now, Josh. It's put millions of people in over their heads financially, trying to get the trappings of success in order to feel truly successful.”

“I guess I can see that,” Josh admitted. “We're in over our heads with our house, our cars, our furniture…everything. But to be honest, I do feel successful when I have those things.”

“How do you feel when your line of credit is maxed, and you lie to your wife about your finances and you bounce a car payment?”

Josh's mouth dropped open. “How…”

Tyler laughed. “Don't worry, Josh. I haven't been snooping. But that's the typical state of affairs for most ‘getters’.”

Josh shrugged. “I guess I'm kind of average.”

“No, Josh. You're not. But your situation is common. You have the potential to be exceptional. But not if you remain a getter.”

“So what do I do instead of striving to get?”

“Simple. Give instead.”

“And…you do that here?”

“Josh,” Tyler said, leaning back, “that is all we do here.”

“Our whole goal here is to create abundance. We're not trying to get people's money. We're trying to give more money to them.”

“But don't you need to get their money so you can do that?”

“In a very logistical sense, yes. But that's not what we teach our people. That's simply a transaction. Our whole focus here is on how we create abundance for others. Not how we get their money.”

“Just as the Abundance Myth says,” Josh said.

“Exactly. The Abundance Myth says that we find abundance through giving, not getting.”

Josh stood up. He needed to think. He walked to the window and looked across the city that lay out beneath him. “I'm not sure I quite understand. Do you mean I should donate to charity? Take a vow of poverty and give away my possessions?” He scanned the office. “That's clearly not what you do here.”

“Not at all, Josh, although charitable giving is a wonderful thing. I'm talking specifically about doing three things. The first is to stop thinking of material wealth as a path to material wealth. It might make you feel wealthier for a short time, but it's not sustainable. You can't create abundance in your life by getting more stuff. Does that make sense?”

“Yes. And…guilty as charged,” Josh joked.

“Second, you need to see abundance as a result, not a route.”

Josh thought for a moment. “So…in the same way I reframed failure as a possible path to success, I should do the opposite with abundance?”

“Right. You can't buy your way to success, Josh. It just ain't gonna happen.”

“Okay. So abundance is the result of something, not the something itself?”

“Right.”

“I feel like I'm missing…something,” Josh joked. “What's the…something that creates the abundance?”

“That's the third point. To create abundance, you need to reframe your human interactions—both personal and business—as opportunities to create abundance for others, not opportunities to create it for yourself.”

Josh looked around Tyler's office. “Okay,” he said finally. “That seems to make sense in a feel good sort of way. I like the idea of a world where everyone is looking out for everyone. Creating abundance for others. So is this a you scratch my back thing?”

“Back scratching is scorekeeping, Josh. It implies a trade. That makes it just a transaction. That's not what we're about.”

“Then how did you get this,” Josh said, spreading his arms to encompass Tyler's office and it's spectacular view. “From giving?”

Tyler leaned forward in his chair. “Ah. Yes. That's always the sticky part for people.” He stood, and walked to the window.

Josh waited for a moment. Tyler looked as if he were deep in thought, remembering something from his distant past. Josh looked at Amy. She tilted her head at Tyler and gave Josh a go on, ask him, glance with her eyes.

“So,” Josh interrupted gently. “How did you accomplish all this?”

Tyler paused. Then turned back from the window. “Dinner parties,” he said, finally.

Josh was about to ask exactly how, when a young man entered with a tray of food and a coffee carafe. They each prepared their own coffee, and settled back in their chairs.

“I guess,” Josh said, to kick start the conversation, “You can probably put together a hell of a dinner party. Billionaires. Movie stars. Heads of state. I can see that you could flourish in that kind of company. I understand how that works.” Josh sipped his coffee. He resisted the urge to add, But I can't put that kind of power in a room for dinner. Then he realized what he'd said. “I just fell for the Abundance Myth, didn't I?”

Tyler laughed. “You're a quick study, Josh.”

“I built this not on dinner parties with heads of state, but with four blue collar families from the other side of the tracks.”

Josh almost laughed out loud.

“I'm serious.” Tyler grinned.

“Please,” Josh joked, grabbing a cookie with a flourish and settling into his chair. “Do tell.”

“You ever go to a potluck dinner, Josh?” he asked.

“You mean, where everyone brings something?”

“Right. Every guest brings a dish, and what you have for dinner is sort of a surprise. Luck of the draw…or pot as the case may be.”

“Sure,” Josh shrugged. “Plenty of times.”

“Me too,” Tyler said. “Not so much anymore, but I grew up in very different circumstances. And when we had dinner with friends, it was almost always potluck. Those dinner parties were where I first discovered potluck math.”

“Potluck math?”

“Here's what typically happens. Ten people come to dinner. Every guest is responsible for bringing a dish. What invariably happens, though, is that each guest brings enough food for ten. It's sort of human nature.”

Josh looked briefly over at Amy. She smiled back.

“And what you end up with,” Tyler was saying,

“…is enough food for one hundred,” Josh finished.

“Exactly,” Tyler said. “It's potluck math. Or you can refer to it as Hastings' First Law of Food Multiplication,” he joked. “And what happens to the leftovers?”

Josh thought. “I seem to recall going home with my share of doggy bags,” he said.

“That's right,” Tyler said. “And a full stomach, too. Plus the host always seems to end up with a heap of leftovers. We used to eat for a week after a potluck.”

Tyler leaned forward and set his cup down.

“I brought that simple idea to work here. Everyone in this company has one job: to bring more to the table than they can possibly use themselves.”

“And the leftovers?” Josh asked.

“They're shared. And the host,” he shrugged, “always ends up with a lot of them. That's why when people ask me how I got here, I say, ‘dinner parties.’ There's no doubt that I've done well for myself. But I got here by doing even better for others.”

As they waited for the elevator, Josh still felt uncertain. I'm a good person, he thought. I'm generous. I still don't really understand why the Haltons picked Amy over me. The elevator arrived, and they stepped in. The doors were about to close when Amy stuck her arm out, and sent them sliding back open. A breathless man said “Thanks!” and climbed on with them.

“What floor would you like?” Amy asked.

“The lower parking,” he replied.

Josh watched the exchange. It was the kind of thing that happened every day—someone running to catch an elevator. But he looked at Amy, and his mind began to hum.

They stepped off the elevator, and it clicked. “I know why they chose you,” he said to Amy.

“Who?”

“The Haltons. I know why they picked you over me. Or, at least I think I do.”

Amy smiled. “Why?”

“I watched you on the elevator. The rest of us were interested in getting to our floors to get on with our days. Not you. You were paying attention. You held the door for that man. You picked his floor for him. Before yours.”

Cor, who had said very little throughout their meeting, spoke up.

“Her intention is different, Josh.”

“Her intention?”

“What Amy did on the elevator is no different from what she did with your neighbors. Her intention with your friends was not to get their business, land a listing, or get a sale. It was to serve them. To help them achieve their goals.”

Josh stood there, stunned. It was as if someone had just pulled back the curtains on some great secret. “I remember talking to them all the time about my goals,” he said quietly. “About needing more business to pay my bills.” He looked up at Amy with a pained expression on his face. “I never even asked them why they wanted to move,” he said. “I didn't even give them my interest, never mind anything else.”

“It's what they couldn't articulate when you asked them,” Cor said. “When you do the right things for the right reasons—like Amy does—people implicitly trust that you have their best interest at heart. That's how an abundant future is created.”

That's why I trusted Amy right away, Josh thought. “And not just the Haltons. Look at us now,” Josh said. “I complained about how giving a week to learn how to grow my business was inconvenient for me. Meanwhile, Amy's given her week to help me, her competition, without batting an eye.” He turned to Cor. “You too. Everyone here is giving except me,” he said morosely. “That's the common thread.”

Josh looked back to Amy, who seemed a bit embarrassed by the whole thing. “I'm sorry, Amy. I never once asked you what you might need to do with your time. Or if I could help you. I'm ashamed of myself.”

“Be proud of yourself, Josh,” she said with a smile. “You just figured out the Abundance Myth.”

Two hours later, though, Josh realized that, once again, he was stuck.

He'd left Tyler's office inspired, and headed straight to his own desk to put in a few hours before the day was out. Gotta do more doing, he thought. And giving. Tyler's idea of creating abundance, of giving more to others, had struck a chord.

As he looked out his office window, though, he realized he was still putting off what he should be doing, and he felt the same pangs of guilt and inadequacy that he had so many times before. He thought back to how spectacular the view from Tyler's office had been. His own small window faced directly into the grill of Wendy's car in the lot behind the building.

Same as ever for me, he thought. I can't seem to break through. I need to give, he thought. To create abundance for others. But what do I give?

Josh looked at the clock. Another day was gone. He'd again spent the majority of his day with Cor and Amy, and still failed to really accomplish much. I do have that big prospect, he reminded himself. But what if I crash and burn with him? I hope this is all worth it.

Again, Josh felt his stomach drop. He still hadn't told Kiera everything that was going on.

With a sinking feeling, he headed for his car and went home.