Sharing your enthusiasm with everyone

Enthusiasm is contagious. People will mirror your attitude, your tone of voice, and your body language. If you’re enthusiastic, people will be enthusiastic with you; if you’re confident, people will be confident with you; if you’re unsure, people will be unsure with you; if you’re hesitant, people will be hesitant with you. You get the point.

That is why it is important to always remain excited about your business. Be passionate and confident about what you are doing, your success, and your business, because people will mirror that same reaction.

If you call a past host and say, “Hey Mary, it’s Belinda. I know it’s been a while since we did a party, but I wanted to let you know that I have a new catalog. I’d like to show it to you. What do you think?”

Mary will probably respond with something like, “Send it to me and I’ll ask around. If I get any interest, I’ll call you back.”

On the other hand, if you call Mary having already decided to be excited about your new catalog instead of sounding indifferent, your conversation might go something like this: “Oh my gosh, Mary, I can’t wait to show you our new catalog. Your friends are going to love it! We have so many amazing new products that you are absolutely going to love. My calendar is already filling up fast! You do not want to miss out on this. I only have Tuesday, May 5th and Saturday, May 23rd open. Does either of those work for you?”

Her reaction will most likely be, “Okay! Let’s book the 23rd!” instead of being unsure or hesitant. If you show Mary that you’re excited, then she will be excited.

Many new representatives are nervous about trying to secure bookings or get new business. This is because they lack confidence. They feel unsure and they don’t want to seem pushy. Instead of keeping a positive attitude and sharing her excitement for her business, a new rep usually says something like this:

• “Hi Sally, this is Carol.” (Lots of small talk.) “Well, I don’t want to keep you. I know you’re busy … and you may or may not be interested … but I went to a _______ party and really liked the products, so I decided to join the company. I just have to do six parties to really get my business off the ground. I don’t know if I’ll get any bookings after that. If not, it’s okay. I don’t like to pressure my friends, as you know, but if you would help me out, that would be awesome.”

This rep comes off as shy, afraid, and unsure how to handle her business. If you remind yourself why you got into this business and remain excited and positive, your conversation with others would be very different.

Ask yourself why you started. Did you want to pay for camp this summer? Go on a well-deserved vacation? Maybe pay off some debt? Whatever your reason for joining the business, be sure to keep it in mind at all times. Write down your vision and goals and keep it somewhere easily accessible. Put it on your fridge, mirror, desk — and anywhere else you look. Keeping yourself focused on what you want and staying committed to achieving it will help you remain positive and excited while working with your customers and clients.

When you commit to having a positive attitude about your business, your conversations will begin to sound more like this:

• “Hi Sally, this is Carol. I’m so glad I caught you. I’m sure you’re busy, so I won’t keep you. I just had some exciting news to share. I went to a _______ party on Thursday and was so impressed with the products. It was something I could really see myself sharing with others, so I decided to join the company as a way to meet new people and earn extra income for our family. Sally, I’d absolutely love for you to get your friends together for a fun party. This is something I think they would really enjoy, and it will also give you an opportunity to receive some special thank-you gifts. This would really help me out. What do you think?”

Not only will you feel different about yourself and your business after having a conversation that begins like this one, so will your hosts. Even if your host agreed to a party when you sounded unsure, she likely won’t turn out to be an enthusiastic host and will have that same attitude when inviting her friends to the party. Her call would most likely sound like this:

• “Hey Joanne, it’s Sally. I’m having this party for my friend Carol just to help her out with her new direct sales business. You don’t have to buy anything. Just come for the food.”

That is certainly not the way you want anyone to talk about you or your business. Instead, by remaining positive and sharing your enthusiasm and excitement with leads, not only will you have a higher chance of booking parties, you will have a greater chance of having successful ones because your host will be excited too.

Being excited while out and about

It’s important to be excited about getting new business, and that means being enthusiastic when you’re out. Here are the three most important things to remember before you go out:

• Look and feel your best: When you look your best, you feel your best. Being excited about your business ensures that you are always prepared to get business, and that means looking professional. Remember, many of these people will be inviting you into their homes to do parties with them and introduce you to their friends, so it’s important that you look presentable.

  If you run to the grocery store in your sweatpants and t-shirt and overhear someone talking about needing what you sell, what are the chances that you will approach them? Probably very slim. Not only will you not approach that person, you will probably spend the rest of your day complaining about how you lost a lead. If you stay excited about your business, then you will live in an excited space. You will get ready before you leave the house and leave the house saying, “Today is going to be a great day! I have blitz cards in my purse and catalogs in my car. I am going to get a lead today!” (Blitz cards are also known as promo cards — small cards that contain product information about a popular item or line, as well as some information about the business opportunity; see Chapter 12 for more.)

• Be ready with your 30-second commercial: You put on a clean blouse, styled your hair, and put on some make-up. You’re feeling and looking good and you’re remaining optimistic about your day. But be sure you’re prepared for new business. Have your 30-second commercial ready to whip out at any opportunity (Chapter 6 talks more about this). In brief, your 30-second commercial is designed to share with your leads exactly what you offer while creating a desire for it. The more excited you sound about your business, the more excited they will be.

• Learn to engage in conversations: It’s important to be energetic and to network. And that means starting conversations with people. An easy way to start conversations with someone is by complimenting them on something. A compliment gets people feeling good about themselves and more inclined to continue a conversation with you.

  Starting a conversation can be difficult, sure — but you have to force yourself to do it, because when you do, you have the opportunity to get some amazing results in return.

If you can wear your product or have it with you, great. Otherwise, you may want to have logo wear on or you may want to carry a bag with your logo on it. (Chapter 6 talks more about the importance of logo wear and wear it to share it.)

Learning to deal with no

One thing you need to learn quickly in this business — in any business, for that matter — is that people are going to tell you no.

There are people who will not like or want your product. They won’t want to book a party, and they won’t think direct sales is for them. And that’s okay. You can’t let them bring you down, because getting a no actually means you are closer to getting a yes.

When someone tells you no, remind yourself that they aren’t saying no to you because they don’t like you as a person. They are saying no to the experience or to the product, maybe even because they don’t understand it.

I think sometimes people are so fearful they’re going to get a no that it prevents them from getting a yes. The truth is, to get a yes, you need to get a number of no’s. If you ask ten people and one says yes, that means nine say no. So, when you get the no, be excited about it — because you know that a yes is just around the corner!

Many tend to take rejection personally and let it affect the way they think about their business. The first few times you hear no from your friends, family, or coworkers, or if no one shows up to your launch party, you may want to abandon your dreams. You will want to lose your positive attitude. You will start convincing yourself of things like these:

• Well, I really just wanted the products in the kit anyway.
• I guess it wasn’t meant to be.
• I’m actually too busy with my other job.
• I’ve earned back the cost of the kit, so it’s no big deal.

In fact, many people talk themselves out of the business before it even starts. This is why you need to remain positive and committed to your goal. To get the results you want your for business, you have to stay focused, give your business the time and attention it deserves, and don’t let the no’s bring you down.

As with any new job, there are going to be times when you feel uncomfortable and unsure, especially at the beginning. But as long as you remain positive about your business — even through the no’s — you will find yourself attracting people you want.

Finding the silver lining in everything

Learning to find the silver lining means learning to find the best in everything that happens. If you do your best and look for the good in every situation, then good things will come to you.

I remember when I was in the field, I booked a party with a woman who was over 90 years old and lived two hours away. I went all the way there, and no one showed up. I could tell she was upset, so I stayed with her for two hours looking at photos of past vacations and things her grandchildren had made her. I could have gotten upset and written the evening off as a horrible night with money lost. Instead, I put my focus on her and making her feel good. I was hopeful that something good would come from the situation, and it did. She not only collected an abundance of outside orders, she helped me create the biggest booking chain of that summer.

Sometimes when we do something, we want an exchange of effort or a result right away. If you do good and help people, it comes back to you in other areas of your life. It might not come back to you at that exact moment, but eventually you will see the fruits of your labor.

Staying positive on social media

People are watching what you do and say on social media. They are deciding what type of person you are, whether they like and trust you, and whether they want to do business with you.

Your social media platforms should not be places to air your dirty laundry, complain about your day, or in any other way be unprofessional. When you do any of these things, you come off as a negative person — and people don’t want to do business with negative people.

Even if you choose to use your social media pages only for personal use and not for business, never forget that there are still potential customers, hosts, and recruits viewing you online. Someone who is interested in your product or your business will most often check out your social media pages to decide whether or not you are someone they want to do business with.

No matter how you are running your business — as hobby, part-time, or full-time — it’s important to always be ready for business because it can turn up everywhere. That is why it’s important to always be professional, respectful, and positive on your social media pages. Show your friends and followers that you are friendly and approachable, and that you are someone they would love to do business with either as a customer, host, or team member.

You also don’t want to run from negative comments either. Deleting a negative comment about your business on your social media pages is one of the worst things you can do because it shows your customer (and others watching) that you are not confident enough to handle the situation. Plus you make your customer feel like their opinion or situation doesn’t matter.

Instead, use a negative comment as an opportunity to show off your amazing customer service. We all make mistakes, so continue to be positive and help find a solution for the situation. (Chapter 11 talks a lot more about using social media in direct sales.)

Being a strong role model for your team

As a sponsor or leader, it’s important to be an example for your team. You want to create a space for them that is positive, uplifting, and motivational. Often, your team members are already fighting with negative self-talk and self-doubt, so it’s important for you to have a positive attitude.

You also never want to get involved in gossip. If one of your team members is having a problem, help them find a solution without worsening the situation or getting involved in the negativity. Discussing their situation with others breaks down the trust — and therefore, in many cases, productivity. Instead, show them your positive attitude and help get them back on track.

The four cornerstones of belief

The four cornerstones of belief are the four main areas of your business that you must remain positive about and remind yourself of when you are experiencing self-doubt:

• Belief in the industry: Do you believe that the direct sales industry is a good model that offers a flexible schedule and fair compensation for your work? Do you believe it’s a great way for people to supplement their income, make their dreams come true, meet different and like-minded people, and do something fun? Remind yourself of all the reasons you believe in direct sales.
• Belief in your company: Do you believe that your company has your back, provides you good, quality products, and has programs in place for you to be successful? Can you count on your company to provide you with the support you need to achieve your goals? Look at your company, at both corporate and field leaders, and remind yourself of all the amazing things they do every day to help you succeed.
• Belief in the product: Can people benefit from your product? Is it easily marketable? Do people want it and enjoy it? Will people buy it? Ask yourself: Do I love the product because I sell it? Or do I sell it because I love it? Remind yourself of what drew you to the products in the first place.
• Belief in yourself: Do you believe you deserve to be successful? Do you believe that you can reach your goals and achieve your dream? Do you believe that you can earn the money you desire if you work hard enough? Remind yourself that your dreams matter and that you can achieve anything.

Starting with self-talk

Believing in yourself starts with self-talk. What do you say to yourself during the day? I hope you don’t say things like this:

• “I’m not very good at this.”
• “I’m not organized.”
• “I’m so stressed out.”

The more you have this type of self-talk and repeat those same words day in and day out, the more you will eventually begin to believe them.

Instead, say things that encourage belief in yourself. Instead of saying how stressed you are, say, “I’m a little overwhelmed right now with what I have going on. What can I do to fix this? What can I get off my plate?” To keep myself from being stressed, I learned to take things in bite-sized chunks instead of looking at everything I had to do. Doing so allows me to focus on a few things at a time and lets me feel accomplished about what I do complete.

It’s also up to you to know how you feel about your business and your life. For example, I have a very busy schedule with travelling. I can say, “I can’t believe I have to leave again. I am so tired. I am so sick of living in hotels and spending all of my time flying,” or I can say, “I am so excited I get to do what I love! I love sharing my passion and knowledge of this industry with so many people.”

You have control over your self-talk and have the power to remain positive. It all starts with you. If you say no one wants to buy this, or no one wants to book a party with me, then no one will. It’s important to believe in yourself and talk positive about yourself and your business, because if you remain positive, you will work towards positive results.

Building confidence and self-esteem

The following sections were inspired by Pat Pearson’s Stop Self Sabotage (McGraw-Hill, 2008).

A lot of people think that confidence and self-esteem are one and the same. They are actually very different.

Confidence comes from knowledge and practice. The more experience you have, the more confident you will become. The more parties you hold, the more you will learn, and the better you will be at them. Your bookings will increase, you will maintain high sales every month, and you will welcome new team members to your team. Even if you have an unsuccessful party, you will still learn from your mistakes and pinpoint the things you want to change. Having a student mentality for your business and always striving to learn more and be better will help you increase your confidence.

Self-esteem, on the other hand, is established based on the relationships you have and the people you surround yourself with. Surrounding yourself with people who are extremely positive helps build your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Your self-esteem gives you the push you need to learn more, seek new opportunities, and network with others.

Don’t keep going back to people who are going to talk negative to you. Find inspirational people within your industry and follow them. Surround yourself with successful people who are positive and who motivate you to want to achieve greater success with your business.

Your confidence and your self-esteem combined are the perfect recipe for success.

Settling for less

This happens when you are going along and you almost get to your goal but you decide this is good enough. For example, say you want to book six parties next month. You call up past hosts and leads from your booking lead notebook (See Chapter 7 for more information on creating a lead notebook) and do effective booking talks at your party. Doing all of this gets you five parties on your calendar. You decide to stop at five parties because you have convinced yourself you have done good enough. Those five parties are almost six, so you give yourself a break from getting that last one booked.

Why? Why are you settling for less when you wanted six parties? That sixth party might help you get the income you want for that month, earn an incentive, or achieve a promotion.

Instead of being satisfied by less than what you really wanted, work to push through and achieve the goals you initially set out for yourself.

Avoiding resignation

Avoiding resignation is when you convince yourself that whatever you were trying to achieve wasn’t going to happen anyway. You decide that it won’t make a difference even if you put your best effort forward. You say things like the following to yourself:

• “I’m not going to bother calling these leads. They weren’t that good anyway.”
• “I might as well not go. No one I know is going to be there.”
• “I’m going to skip that event, I’m sure no one will be interested in my services.”
• “Even if I get that fundraiser, it will be too much work for me right now.”

It’s important to have confidence in your skills and in your business that things will work out and that you will find success.

Managing perfectionism and procrastination

Another thing that inhibits people from achieving true success is being a perfectionist. This is my Achilles heel. I decide I want to do something, but before I jump into it, I think of all the things I need to do first to make it perfect.

I have thought about writing a book for many years and have started the process over a dozen times. But I never completed it because I got too wrapped up in what the cover would look like, what the title would be, which chapters I would include, and so on. I got to the point where there were so many details in my way, I never got started. But when it came time to write this book, with the help of my editor at Wiley, we set small, achievable, and deadline-oriented goals. So instead of feeling overwhelmed by writing an entire book, I focused only on writing a chapter at a time and then editing a chapter at a time. (And voila! Here it is!)

You may decide to make booking calls, for example, but before you do that you need to make files first, then you need to make a spreadsheet, then you need to run to the store to get highlighters instead of sitting down, digging in, and just making calls.

Other people suffer from procrastination. They think, “Well, I still have a day and a half to get this done. I will just wait. If I wait until later to call, more people will be home; I’m really tired right now. I’m going to wait until tomorrow when I’m feeling more up to it.”

It took me a long time to realize that perfectionism and procrastination go hand in hand. Even though I had never considered myself to be a procrastinator, my perfectionism caused me to procrastinate. When I finally came to that realization, I had to let it go, because I did not want to be a procrastinator or feel that I had the inability to stay on task.

I have not overcome this shortcoming completely, but now when I catch myself saying, “I first need to do this,” I analyze what I’m doing and force myself to start digging into the project.

Staying away from denial and blame

It’s in our nature to want everything to be fine, so denial functions as a gloss over the harsh realities of life. When we ignore or refuse to believe what’s going on around and within us, denial creeps into our lives. Denial is refusing to accept reality or a situation for what it is. As a self-sabotage strategy, denial operates very much to our detriment. The more you fear you don’t deserve something you want, the more denial you have to use.

Here are some examples of denial:

• I eat pretty healthy most of the time — I don’t know why I can’t lose the weight.
• I didn’t want to win that trip. We’re going to be going on a really great family vacation anyway.
• It’s okay if I don’t make my promotion next month. If it’s meant to be, it will happen.

People who suffer from denial convince themselves they have done everything they could to get a good or positive outcome, when in fact they may be too afraid to try everything. They also deny that they ever wanted something in the first place, so they can try to avoid the feeling of disappointment.

Blaming, or projecting, is maintaining that the responsibility for the behavior lies somewhere else, not with you. You don’t deny the behavior, but you place its cause “out there,” not within yourself. I see this all the time in direct sales. People are so quick to blame anyone else they can for the mistakes and actions they’ve made themselves:

• If my upline were more supportive, I would be better.
• If my husband supported me, I would succeed.
• If my job was more structured, I would have more time to focus on my business.
• I don’t live in a good neighborhood.
• My friends don’t make enough money to purchase the product.
• I don’t have people to watch my kids so I can go do a party.
• If the company could get the promotions out faster, I could get more bookings.
• I was never trained properly.

You are in charge of your business. You need to decide to take the steps to achieving your goals and not let your fears get in the way of your success.

Taking risks: Getting past the fear

Fear is usually fear of the unknown. People get paralyzed if they don’t know the outcome. Part of getting over fear is realizing that you aren’t going to know the outcome, and the only way is to jump in and try.

Again, this is where being solution oriented comes into play. The more solution oriented you are, the more likely you are to take risks because you know at the end of the day, you will be able to find a solution. You need to tell yourself, “No matter what happens, I am going to figure out a way.”

One of the things I always do if I really find myself in fear of moving forward or taking a risk is make a list of pros and cons. I look at what would be the absolute worst thing possible that could happen, and what would be the best thing possible. Most of the time, the best thing far outweighs the worst. But if I look at the worst and ask myself, “Can I live with that? Can I change that?” and my answer is yes, I move forward.

Comparing yourself to others

Many people sabotage their success by comparing themselves to others. Does that person have what you really want? Do they live where you really want to live? Do you want that type of house? Do you want to work the same amount?

Remind yourself that you define what success looks like and do what it takes to get you there. You cannot compare your success to someone else’s, just like you can’t compare the beginning of your journey in direct sales to that of someone who has been in the industry for years.

Another way not to compare yourself to others and keep a positive attitude is to have an attitude of gratitude. Always stay focused on what you have and what you are capable of. Write down all the good things in your life. List the things you are grateful for. Starting a journal is a great way to accomplish this.