If the participant is cursing, consider the severity and frequency of the language. If she’s occasionally using a “bad” word, or frequently using less severe language (basically anything not censored on TV), try to ignore it and avoid a visible reaction. If the participant is constantly cursing in an offensive manner or using really objectionable words (the censored kind), simply ask the participant to try to keep her language clean. Be friendly but firm. You can also remind the participant that she’s being recorded and/or observed.

 If the participant says something discriminatory (i.e., hostile toward race, religion, sexuality, gender, age, disability, etc.), consider the frequency of the comments:

 If it happens once, ignore it and move on without acknowledging the comment even if her insult felt personal or was directed toward a group you identify with. For example, if the participant makes an aside about how incompetent women are (and you’re a woman), just ignore the statement and continue with the session. Avoid placating the participant by laughing along and agreeing. If the participant is looking for an acknowledgment that you heard her, or repeats the comment to make sure, use a polite neutral smile and immediately redirect the conversation to avoid an awkward silence or continued conversation.

 If the participant uses discriminatory language frequently and you take it very personally, or you feel some moral obligation to say something, think very carefully before responding. If the participant was next to you in the grocery store, you may be tempted to give her a talking to. But you’re moderating on behalf of an organization, so it’s important to stay cool and professional. Try not to bring your personal life and beliefs into the conversation. Instead, simply ask the participant to stay focused on the topic at hand and avoid any controversial statements.

 In conjunction with these tips, think about your body language and moderating style. If you’re relaxed and friendly in disposition, now is the time to adapt to a more formal, less responsive moderating style (as discussed in section 1.5) so that the participant knows you’re serious.

 If asking the participant to stop doesn’t help, or her language is still out of control, either take a break to assess the situation with colleagues, or just end the session early. Try to do so in a way that doesn’t blame the participant (e.g., use a pretext and blame a technical failure or pretend that you’re done with the tasks).

 “I just want to let you know that this is a curse-free zone!”

 “If you don’t mind, let’s just keep our words PG-13.”

 “I like your spirit, but I’ll ask you not to curse in this setting if you can help it.”

 “<Participant>, I appreciate your feedback so far, but since we’re being recorded and there may be others listening in, I need to ask you to use clean language for the rest of the session. Thank you! So, let’s go back to….”

 “Okay, so let’s move onto.…”

 “I know I told you that you’re free to give any feedback, but I’ll ask that you do so in a way that is respectful to others. Thank you in advance. Now let’s get back to.…”

 “As I said earlier, we do have some observers and the session is being recorded, so I’ll ask you to avoid <cursing, using profanity, making personal statements about ‘kinds of people’> during the rest of the session.”

 “I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to end the session early <because of pretext, for example, due to some technical difficulties>. Thank you so much for coming in, and here is your compensation.”

 Don’t laugh in response to offensive or controversial jokes, even if you want to or feel like the participant is looking for you to respond in some way.

 Don’t scold the participant, as it may shut her down for the rest of the session and limit the feedback you’re able to elicit.

 Avoid providing your opinion or engaging in a discussion with the participant.

 Make sure that when recruiting, you look for any sign that a participant is especially forthcoming with inappropriate or irrelevant information, and screen her out. For example, if you’re recruiting for a financial services website and the participant goes on a long political rant about the current White House administration, that participant is likely to do something similar or worse during the session!

 11.7 Participant becomes insulting or has an agenda

 13.5 Participant does something awkward or uncomfortable

 Survival Story: “My best option was to smile” in Chapter 12

 Acknowledge your acquaintance with the participant and be yourself, but keep any casual conversation to a bare minimum.

 Whether it’s an ex-partner, old friend, relative, or distant acquaintance, do your best to keep any outside knowledge of the participant out of the session unless that knowledge is related to her not meeting the study criteria.

 If you think you know something about the participant that disqualifies her from participating (e.g., your recruit criteria was for HR managers but you know the participant is in a different group), bring up your knowledge as a question to see if it’s accurate. If it’s accurate and she is not qualified, let her go or, as discussed in section 3.8, see if there’s a way to adapt the session.

 If you’re worried that you’ll not be able to treat the participant neutrally (or vice versa), ask another member of your team to moderate the session for you instead, if possible. If that isn’t possible, stick closely to your study plan and do your best to put aside your concerns and treat the participant just like any other.

 Before the session starts, let your observers know that the participant is someone you know. You don’t have to go into detail about how you know the participant, but it’s better to let the observers know ahead of time so they aren’t surprised or worried if the participant seems like she knows you.

 If the participant is overly friendly with you or brings up personal details about you that you’d rather not discuss, remind her that you want to get her feedback as part of the session and that you can catch up with her once the session is over. You can also remind her that she is being observed and recorded.

 “It’s so good to see you again. We have a lot to get through during the next <number of minutes>, but I’d love to hear more about how you are once we’re finished here.”

 “I’m sorry, but I really want to get your feedback on <topic>. Let’s finish catching up once we’re done, if you’re able to stick around for a few extra minutes.”

 Don’t pretend that you don’t know the participant—this may frustrate and confuse her, and keep her from providing valuable feedback.

 Don’t use your session time to catch up with the participant. Stay professional and focused on your research goals.

 Monitor the list of participant names provided by your recruiter, and if you see anyone you recognize, plan ahead of time for someone else to moderate the session if possible.

 12.1 Participant is extremely entertaining and friendly

 Try to understand the impetus behind the participant’s actions. You may need to politely ask how she knows that information. For example, perhaps she was given your name from the recruiting agency you used to schedule her and looked you up to make sure you legitimately work at the organization. If the participant mentions a relatively harmless excuse for her, shall we say, “extensive information gathering,” try to ignore any weird comments and move forward with the session.

 If the participant starts probing you on your personal life, redirect the conversation back to the session to avoid any awkward discussions. Also use your tone and body language to disengage from the participant by shifting away slightly and using a more formal tone, while still remaining kind and professional.

 If the participant seems to be researching you or your colleagues while on a remote session with her, kindly ask her to stop what she’s doing and focus attention on the session.

 If the participant is going out of her way to name-drop and possibly dig for more information on the organization or your colleagues, feign ignorance. Even if you do know the person she’s talking about, pretend that you don’t or be evasive, at least until the session is over. Use redirection to keep the participant on track.

 If what the participant says and how she says it moves beyond awkward into disturbing, you have every right to protect yourself and end the session early. Similarly, if the session starts out fine but over time the participant’s actions, words, and/or knowledge of you is coupled with any feelings of extreme discomfort, take a brief break to regroup. At that point either have a colleague take over moderating or end the session early. If ending early, take responsibility with a pretext (e.g., blame the technical setup) so as not to tip off that you’re ending the session because of the participant’s actions.

 “Oh, where did you hear that?”

 “Oh, yes, I love my new car <or other short response here>. So let’s get started.…”

 “<Participant>, I’m impressed with your ability to multitask! If you don’t mind, please close your other windows and programs so that we can stay focused on this session.”

 “<I’m just a consultant/The organization is big> so I don’t actually know that person <that well/at all>. So let’s get back to.…”

 “I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to cancel the session due to some technical difficulties. Thank you so much for coming in, and here’s your compensation. Let me walk you to our exit.” Or, “My colleague, <name>, will walk you to the door.”

 Don’t reprimand the participant for looking you up, even if you’re uncomfortable or irritated. Treat her in a respectful, professional way.

 Avoid getting into a personal conversation about your life. Save that for friends!

 Likewise, avoid giving out personal or professional information about colleagues.

 Check your social networking settings for LinkedIn, Facebook, and other websites to ensure that you’re comfortable with the level of information displayed publicly.

 For a remote testing session, ask the participant at the beginning of the session to close out of all nonrelevant windows and applications so she can focus on the session.

 11.7 Participant becomes insulting or has an agenda

 If the flirting is subtle (e.g., smiling or ogling), just ignore it rather than acknowledging or drawing attention to the participant’s behavior.

 If a participant becomes more and more flirtatious throughout the session, try to make your intentions of professionalism clear by redirecting attention to what is being researched, and gently pulling away physically. Adjust your body to be turned slightly away from and behind the participant, and use a neutral, formal tone. Don’t give in to her flirting just to be nice or accommodating.

 If the situation escalates further (e.g., to direct questions or propositions), use more explicit language to redirect the participant back to your session goals. If you’re comfortable using humor, you can use a firm yet humorous tone for the redirection, especially if the participant also has a joking tone. The benefit of this approach is that by responding in a similar tone, you may keep the participant from feeling embarrassed while regaining control of the session. If she continues unabated, let her know that her questions are inappropriate or not relevant to the study and you’d like to bring her attention back to the task question.

 If being direct doesn’t help the situation, consider using another reason to end the session early, such as getting through your material faster than expected or technical difficulties. Or, if you have someone else who is able to moderate the remainder of the session, you could tell the participant that for the next section of the session, she’ll be talking to that person. Leave the room and have your colleague step in and take over.

 If the participant revisits any of her flirtatious behavior after the session is over, kindly let her know that you’re obligated to keep your relationship with participants professional and thank her again for coming in.

 “Thanks. So why don’t we look at this area.…”

 “Okay. Let’s go back to…<task/question>.”

 “If it’s okay, I just want to stick to the agenda for the session because we have a lot to get through. Let me bring your attention back to.…”

 “Okay <participant>, for the next part what I’m going to do is have my colleague come in and join you. She’ll be right in.”

 “It’s been very nice to meet you. But I have an obligation to keep our interaction on a professional level.”

 Don’t yield to flirting or give the perception that you welcome that behavior! It’s important to draw the line and keep the session professional, especially if you’re on a site visit at someone’s home or if the participant is at your facility after hours when few people are around. Overly friendly or flirty behavior can lead to bad things—like physical danger or legal liability.

 Don’t embarrass the participant!

 There’s no easy way to avoid a flirty participant, but if you notice a participant becoming more friendly or starting to flirt, adapt your style immediately to a more disengaged (less friendly) demeanor before it escalates to a more awkward situation.

 12.1 Participant is extremely entertaining and friendly

 14.7 Participant touches you

 Survival Story: “You sure are pretty” in Chapter 12

 If the request or action is strange but won’t get in the way of the session (e.g., taking shoes off), let the participant do it to avoid any further awkward interactions about it.

 If it’s a strangely personal request or something that would be more disruptive, politely decline. Try to place the blame on yourself, your study setup, facility, policies, or anything feasible so that the participant doesn’t feel bad or stupid for asking. It may be a slight stretch of truth, but will help maintain a connection with the participant. For example, if the participant asks you to touch her pregnant stomach, tell her that there’s a no-touching policy at your organization. If the participant starts showing you pictures of a celebrity with a wardrobe malfunction, remind her that the session and screen are being recorded and that there’s a lot to cover in the remainder of the session.

 You can also use humor if you’re comfortable doing so as part of your explanation. Just remember to keep it tasteful, and make sure that your humor cannot be misinterpreted as making fun of the participant. For example, if the participant lies down on the couch, you can gently say, “If this were a sleep study, I’d bring you a blanket and pillow, but for now, I actually need you to sit over here in front of the computer so we can get started!”

 “I’m sorry; our policy is to not let guests <do that>. Are you okay to move forward with the session?”

 “For the sake of today’s study setup, I actually need you to <describe what you need them to do>.”

 “I’m sorry, but we don’t usually let anyone <do that>. Let’s get back to.…”

 Don’t scold the participant or do anything to make her feel inadequate, or that would make her more nervous about participating.

 Don’t laugh or make fun of the participant, even if her request or actions seem ridiculous to you. She may just be trying to be friendly, or is making herself comfortable.

 It’s hard to see these situations coming! Approach each session with a sense of humor so you can roll with the unexpected.

 13.1 Participant curses or makes inappropriate comments

 13.4 Participant flirts with you

 13.6 Participant makes a strangely specific request

 Survival Story: “She tipped me … big!”

 Accommodate the request, if it’s not time consuming, unmanageable, or demeaning. If you don’t have exactly what the participant requests, ask if there are suitable substitutions. Even though coffee, water, and tea have been free for guests in many of the facilities we’ve used, we’ve had moments of grabbing our own money to get that special Diet Dr. Pepper from the vending machine to make the participant happy. Keep her comfortable as much as possible, especially when minimal effort is required.

 If you’d have to spend extra time accommodating her request, or you’d feel uncomfortable in any way, politely let the participant know that you don’t have that available (if an item is requested) or you’re unable to help (if a service is requested), and offer a substitution if possible.

 Keep your professionalism and organization’s policies in mind. For example, although it’s a little weird to be asked, it’s probably fine to clean someone’s glasses (we’ve seen this happen) or provide her with the materials to do so herself, but it’s not your job and not a professional presentation of yourself and your organization to shine participants’ shoes or call their dentist for them.

 “I’m not quite sure I’ll be able to accommodate that request, but let me check into it for you.”

 “I’m sorry, due to our policies I can’t do that for you.”

 “We’re under some time constraints with limited people running this study, so we don’t really have time to do <request> today.”

 Avoid giving the participant the impression that you’re at her beck and call. Be kind and a good host and listen politely, but remain in control and present yourself professionally.

 When the participant is recruited, make sure she knows that she’ll be a participant for a user research session with specific goals (rather than a visit or tour as a guest), and what amenities (if any) will be provided.

 If you have a waiting area at your facility, provide reading materials and have some common beverages on hand (e.g., water, coffee, tea).

 13.5 Participant does something awkward or uncomfortable

 13.7 Participant makes request during a site visit

 Survival Story: “The request caught me off-guard” in Chapter 10

 If the participant asks if you want a beverage, feel free to accept as long as it’s nonalcoholic, doesn’t create a burden on your host, and doesn’t take too much time away from the session. Be gracious and thank her for the offer, and remember that the participant is meeting social norms for having a visitor.

 Whether you accept a beverage from the participant or bring your own bottle of water, be careful where you place it. Some people are picky about having beverages on their computer desks, or on tables without coasters. Ask the participant where she’d prefer you to place your beverage.

 If the participant asks whether you want some kind of food, try to avoid having her go out of the way unless she’s very excited or insistent about serving you and it seems offensive to turn her down. Thank her for the offer. However, be aware that if a participant is, say, cooking you up a steak dinner, it sets a precedent for a more friendly relationship, and it may become harder to stay neutral and in control during the session.

 If the participant has particular customs or household rules like taking off shoes, be considerate and follow her rules. As a rule of thumb, it’s always a good idea to go to a home visit with socks and shoes rather than sandals without socks. Make sure your socks are ready for public viewing with no holes or inappropriate illustrations.

 If the participant has a really specific request, be accommodating but try to avoid doing menial tasks for her. For example, out of respect you may take a few minutes of silence for her religious ritual such as praying, but you don’t have to agree to take out her trash, answer the phone, or fix her dishwasher in return for her feedback!

 Also try to resist any activities that don’t relate to the topic you’re researching. For example, if the participant tries to show you old home videos, kindly tell her that you’d like to get started with the session. If necessary, take responsibility and say that you packed a lot into your study plan or use some other pretext like having to leave early to help her stay focused.

 If the participant seems to be too friendly or eager to connect with you, use the pattern of disengaging from her slightly. Adjust your demeanor and style to be a bit less approachable and more Down to Business, and remind her of your purpose for the session.

 “Oh no, thank you, I’ve just eaten but thanks so much for the offer.”

 “Thank you for offering, but I have a bottle of water right here. If it’s okay, I’d like to go ahead and get started.”

 “That’s alright, I actually have a bit of prep work to do here so if it’s okay, I’ll just be here working quietly.”

 “Actually, I’d rather just get started if that’s okay. I have a lot to get through and need to leave a few minutes early.”

 Don’t do anything that may be perceived as disrespecting the participant’s space, like touching her things, opening her fridge, or sitting on her bed (even in a studio apartment), unless you have explicit permission to do so.

 Don’t agree to do anything that may put you in danger, such as go into a bedroom or basement alone with the participant unless that location is relevant to the research you’re doing. Basically, don’t do anything you see innocent victims do in horror movies—use your common sense.

 You never know what you’ll be asked or offered on a home visit. But one way to get a sense for the participant’s personality is to give her a confirmation call personally and chat for a few minutes with her. If the participant seems slightly unusual on the phone, there’s a possibility that her living style and habits may follow suit. From there, make a decision on who to bring or even whether to go through with the session. Always bring another colleague with you on field visits.

 13.6 Participant makes a strangely specific request