4

Step 1: Rest

To take a systemic approach to getting rest and recovery, we need to focus on the key internal triggers for the stress response: an overactive mind and an overwhelmed body.

When it comes to our cognitive workload, nothing seems to create more internal chaos than information overload. Our tendencies to be on the go nonstop and constantly connected to technology require our brains to continuously spend energy that we desperately need to replenish from time to time. Using simple mind-calming activities such as deep breathing, progressive relaxation, and meditation, we can train the brain to become more comfortable in a quiet, restorative state.

As discussed earlier, taking it easy is hard work without practice. So don't be surprised if it's uncomfortable for a while as you start trying to incorporate more downtime. It's like training your muscles in the gym: The more you practice, the easier it is to recover as you boost your cognitive fitness. Consider what it's like when you first start a workout routine. It can take several minutes to catch your breath, let alone feel strong and ready to exercise again. The same thing applies when training your brain: You need to push out of your comfort zone a little bit at a time, give yourself adequate recovery time to repair, and then push yourself again to build up strength and resilience.

The biggest indicator that we're overdoing our physical workload is chronic inflammation. Inflammation is the body's natural response to anything considered a potential threat, including stress, irritants, injuries, infections, and allergies. Even good sources of stress such as exercise can trigger an inflammatory response. When experienced short term, inflammation delivers essential elements needed to repair and rebuild the body, making it stronger over time. But similar to stress hormones, chronic exposure to inflammatory agents can lead to damage caused by heat, swelling, redness, and pain. What's worse, our inflammatory response can start to turn on our healthy cells, causing more serious illnesses.

To calm the chaos and cool our internal fire, we need to eliminate foods and other consumables (caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine) that irritate our internal chemical balance. Several items in our current food supply seem to be causing a lot of challenges for people, and food sensitivities and allergies are increasing. We'll use an anti-inflammatory nutritional approach to try to decrease foods that trigger inflammation and add nutrients that soothe our system, thereby bringing our digestive operations back into calm, restorative homeostasis, or harmony.

Finally, we need to look at how our social energy affects our state of internal balance. The quickest way to stimulate the stress response in laboratory animals is to remove them from their family or community. It's also how we torture our worst criminals, placing them into solitary confinement. Feeling isolated has been shown to be more detrimental to our health than smoking 15 cigarettes a day, triggering an inflammatory response that increases our death risk as much as being obese or living a sedentary lifestyle does.¹

Studies are increasingly correlating social isolation to spikes in death rate from all causes, including brain diseases such as dementia and Alzheimer's disease, which can be a vicious cycle considering how lonely the process of mental decline can be on both the individual and the family.² Being able to reach out to friends and family in times of need is critical to feeling a sense of security and allowing the brain to rest. At the same time, we need to be careful that we're not placing excess stress or strain on our system by spending energy on people who drain us. As with all things, balance and moderation are key.

Quiet the Mind: Just Breathe

Our breath quickly shifts to a short, shallow pattern when we are stressed, which limits the amount of oxygen we get and triggers an even greater stress response. One of the quickest ways to initiate the relaxation response, which balances stress hormones and boosts positive endorphins in the brain, is to become aware of our breathing. It takes only a few moments for this intentional shift to gently but immediately cause the breath to become slower, deeper, and more calming.

The cleansing breaths of mindful breathing practices bring in more of what we need and allow us to release the stress and tension we hold in the brain and body. Practicing mindfulness not only gives us a chance to relax our operating system but also teaches us how to let go of negative thought patterns. We do more work on rewiring our mindset in step 4. For now, let's focus on training our brain to be able to relax and let go through simple meditation techniques.

To practice mindful breathing, simply close your eyes and notice the sensation you feel as you naturally breathe in and out. Direct your attention to how you feel physically, as you notice your chest and belly expand and contract as you breathe. Don't get frustrated if thoughts pop into your mind. Just acknowledge them and let them pass, focusing your attention back to your body's physical sensations.

One of the biggest challenges new meditators face is getting their mind to shut up long enough to experience stillness. I know I was turned off when I first attempted meditation. Quieting my mind for 30 minutes felt impossible when I couldn't do it for 30 seconds. However, I wanted to reap the incredible benefits of meditation that I'd heard so much about. So I began a brain training regimen of spending 3 minutes three times a day focusing on my breath until I could build up to a longer practice. As with exercising, it's important to give yourself time to push out of your comfort zone and then get enough recovery to adapt and grow stronger. After practicing for 3 minutes, try moving to 5, 10, and then 15 minutes. As you see the benefits of your efforts, you will begin to fully appreciate the investment. You'll even start to crave this time of quiet recharge.

You will most likely need some sort of focusing tool to help still your mind. There are many options. You can use a simple word, a phrase, a sound, a song, or a biofeedback device, to name a few. The important thing is that you find a way to take your mind gently away from the mental gymnastics it's accustomed to doing and give it a specific target on which to focus your mental energy. Again, similar to doing exercises in the gym, decide upon a specific time and frequency for your training regimen. Start with something that's only slightly outside your comfort zone as you build up strength to deepen your practice. Don't allow yourself to get frustrated trying to pick out the perfect tool or create the perfect meditation practice; that only triggers the stress response you're trying so hard to alleviate.

Let's discuss a few of the common mental focusing aids in more detail so that you can choose one or two to add to your routine.

Mantras

Although it may sound complicated, a mantra is simply a mind instrument used to help guide mental energy into a specific direction. Many traditional meditation practices recommend using a neutral mantra, something that has no emotional meaning or connection, to help the mind focus in a nonbiased way. This also helps alleviate the temptation to run away with thoughts triggered by particular words or past experiences, such as thinking about the word peace and starting to worry about all the problems in the world or thinking about the word love and starting to miss a loved one. These aren't bad things to think about, but we want to practice keeping our mind focused solely on what's happening in the moment. One way to use neutral words is to simply count breaths in and out. You can determine a certain number you want to count to and then count up and then back again. Or you could repeat the same number for a certain amount of time. There is no perfect way to practice this technique; the most important part is doing it.

Many people prefer to practice with a positive mantra that makes them feel peaceful or inspired. This can provide additional benefit in the brain. Positive thinking triggers the release of neurochemicals such as serotonin and dopamine, which not only make us feel good in the moment but also help us build the habit. As with any tool, the important thing is that you find what works for you and use it regularly. Examples of positive mantras might be words such as harmony, balance, or joy or phrases such as “Just be here now,”“I am enough, I have enough,” or “All is well.” At the end of each of the steps in this book, I introduce a mantra that applies to the concepts discussed in the chapter, as well as provide other options you might want to try as you begin to figure out what works best for you. We discuss more mantras in step 5 when I give specific examples of oscillation practices.

Sounds

Although it's great in theory to imagine chilling out to the sounds of silence, it can be very difficult to quiet a busy and distracted mind without something specific to listen to. However, we want to be strategic about the type of sounds or noise we invite into our environment when we're trying to relax our brain. Many people try to zone out to the television, not recognizing that the busy sights and sounds stimulate the brain even when they feel as though they're not paying attention. The brain is constantly scanning our environment, trying to figure out what it may need to protect us from. Although we should all be grateful for that, this constant monitoring requires energy and potentially triggers negative thoughts and associations, taking our mind someplace we'd rather not be going when we need to relax.

When I was working on this section of the book, I became frustrated by the people who kept popping up in my space, bringing their bad vibes. Even though I regularly practice the art of what I call distraction resistance —trying to fully focus my energy on the task at hand and eliminate mental drifting—it's easy for me to be pulled into the stress of what people around me are dealing with: nonstop texting, cell calls full of drama, or that negative energy–vampire sensation we all occasionally experience with certain people.

This is one of the reasons that watching TV before bed poses such a problem for people who are seeking relaxation. They want to give their brain something to focus on other than running through the events of today or their to-do list for tomorrow, but a TV's bright lights and sounds cause stimulation, even while people are drifting off to sleep. Studies have shown that even a subconscious brain will light up due to noise and activity around it, costing precious energy resources right when we're trying to get our most important, and much needed, rest and repair.

One of the problems with noise coming from the TV set or from the typical work environment is that it is random and chaotic; it has no particular rhyme or reason. This is quite different from constant, repetitive, or rhythmic noise or sounds. I often laugh when I tell people I listen to noise regularly, but it's true. I have an app (yes, there's an app for that!) called Sleep Stream that allows me to choose different calming sounds such as waves, rainfall, or other sounds of nature, in addition to plain old noise. Particular sounds such as white noise or pink noise (similar background sounds with a slight variety in pitch and vibration) are designed to be steady and calming. These frequencies, and others like them, give the brain something consistent to focus on while blocking out the chaotic background sounds, thus providing no reason to be on alert.

Rhythmic sounds such as waves crashing or gentle music can also bring the brain into a calm state. You can even do some mental cross-training by combining relaxing music with inspiring lyrics to give you positive words to focus on, similar to one long mantra. I have a selection of songs that I listen to for this very purpose, and I even have one set as my ringtone to help put me in a positive mindset as I answer the phone. Although this trick doesn't always work, every little bit helps, because both stress and its counterbalance relaxation are cumulative.

Biofeedback

A third technique I've found particularly helpful for myself and my clients is using a device that provides immediate feedback on biological responses to relaxation practice. Simple programs such as EmWave or Inner Balance, both created by a company called Heartmath, enable you to see how your heart rate is responding to your breathing patterns. With either a touchpad for your finger or an ear-clip sensor, the program shows your pulse while it provides guidance to the recommended pacing for your breath. The newer Inner Balance program also lets you quickly see on your mobile device whether you're operating in a state of coherence, which is the optimal rhythmic balance between heart and brain signals—and the place where studies have shown performance to be at its peak.

Many professional athletes use biofeedback programs to train their ability to stay calm in stressful situations, especially in sports such as golf, where mental focus and resilience to stress are so critical for performance. Studies show that when stress hormones rise, they interfere with the smooth muscle functioning critical for keeping a steady, rhythmic golf swing. I recommend a few other biofeedback options in step 5 as we discuss ways to create more oscillation in your daily routine, because I believe this is one of the best ways to assess your energy and stress management throughout the day.

Now you just have to choose a technique and implement the practice. It's tempting to shorten your break time or skip it when you're facing a tough deadline, but remember: The greater the stress you're under, the more desperately you need recovery. If you're new to mindfulness meditation practices, I suggest starting with a recharge program in the same way I did: 3 to 5 minutes, three times a day for a week. To keep it simple, you may want to set aside a few minutes before breakfast, lunch, and dinner because you likely already have some sort of routine set around these time frames. Meals are also perfect times to practice relaxation, because you want your brain chemistry to be balanced enough to make healthy choices, recognize feelings of satiety, and facilitate proper digestion.

There are also some helpful apps (yes, another app for that) that send reminders throughout the day to take recharge breaks. Bloom by Mindbloom not only delivers digital reminders but also gives you the chance to customize your recharge activities by setting a video or photo to music that plays in a loop for a particular time frame. GPS for the Soul is another app that includes biofeedback capability, using the sensor for your phone to show your heart rate, and even makes recommendations based on your results.

The way you time your recharge breaks is up to you, but I suggest that you try to schedule 10 minutes of downtime for every 50 minutes of work. I know that may sound like a lot of time to give up, but remember that this is strategic recharge time, as important as anything else you do in your day. By dividing your daily routine into these focused chunks of time, you give your brain specific boundaries: time it needs to be on and engaged and time for it to get the recovery it needs to return to the next cycle. If you're ready to build this into your routine now, it can become the core of your oscillation practice moving forward. I explain more in step 5 about how to build in these breaks, setting boundaries and expectations for others so that they respect your time and energy—and you are able to give them your best in return.

Simple Meditation Practices

Meditation experts of the past believed practice must include at least 20 minutes of focused stillness. However, new studies have shown that shorter practices of 3 to 5 minutes at a time may be as effective in reducing systemwide measures of stress, such as cortisol production and inflammation. Not only are shorter bursts of training more realistic for busy people to fit into their schedules, but they more accurately replicate the type of energy oscillation practice we want to build into our day. Rather than meditating for 20 to 40 minutes at one time, we can benefit more frequently from shorter relaxation breaks spread over the course of the day.

We can compare this again to working out at the gym. Exercise physiologists used to believe that we had to train for at least 30 consecutive minutes to see measurable fitness or weight management results. The new school of thought is that shorter periods might be even more effective if we're able to bring the right intensity, because we get a metabolic burst with each activity, spreading the benefits throughout the day. Also, with our busy schedules, it's more realistic to assume that we can fit in a few 5- to 10-minute sessions over the course of the day than it is to think that we can block out one longer time frame.

One of the biggest challenges people face when trying to create a meditation practice is getting hung up on how to do it right. Meditation is often associated with spiritual gurus and master teachers, so it can seem downright intimidating—even stress inducing—to try to learn. But the basic principles are quite simple, and as you experiment with different techniques, you'll quickly learn what you like and follow your internal teacher rather than trying to do things perfectly. That perfection we all seek is the type of mindset we want to eliminate through consistent meditation practice.

Let's keep this simple. Typically, meditation practice follows a few basic guidelines:

• A time frame set aside for the recharge experience (scheduled as a priority)
• A comfortable position (whatever feels relaxing to you)
• A somewhat quiet environment (free from distractions)
• A mental focusing device or technique (sound or word that is repeated)
• A nonjudgmental attitude (not critical of yourself or your process)

If you remember anything about meditation or mindfulness practice, remember that it is nonjudgmental awareness of the present moment. Learn to be aware of the here-and-now thoughts, feelings, and sensations; just notice them without judging whether they are right or wrong. The more you practice being aware of the present, the stronger your mental muscles will become and the more you'll be able to bring your full energy and engagement to the times they matter most.

Mental focusing exercises such as meditation don't just help you increase awareness. They can also harness your attention in directions that serve you. This is best done in a two-step process, first creating mindfulness awareness and then tuning in to something called your mindsight.

Neuroscientist Dan Seigel first used the term mindsight to describe the ability to use mental energy to direct the mind's activities.³ Simply put, mindsight practice requires using your mind to consciously direct its attention. This unique ability to be the conductor of your own energy requires focused practice. However, it's one of the most important skills you can incorporate into your health, happiness, and performance routine.

In simple meditation, we begin with closing the eyes, relaxing the body, and tuning in to our breath to initiate the relaxation response. We then work to quiet the mind and become aware of our present-moment sensations. With practice, we learn to create mental stillness, letting the random thoughts that may pop up simply pass through like waves, without judgment or attempts to hold on. We keep our focus here during mindfulness meditation—simply being in the moment and trying to calm the body and quiet the mind. This exercise can be both healing and energizing, because it helps us restore balance in our brain chemistry while recovering priceless energy.

To create a mindsight meditation, we take the exercise one step further. Here, we focus our attention in a particular direction that brings us a desired outcome, such as positivity, gratitude, joy, patience, or relaxation, regarding a particular issue. For example:

• Target your focus on things that are positive (such as recognizing and experiencing gratitude for things you appreciate)
• Acknowledge the pull of the technological leashes in life (cell phone, computer, etc.) and strategically focus attention without checking in for certain periods
• Take time during a bumpy flight to focus mindsight on a relaxing visualization (such as driving on a bumpy road to a beach resort)
• Train the brain to see relaxation as an investment and become comfortable with not being busy

Mindsight meditation not only restores healthy balance and connection between the brain and the body; it consciously points your attention in directions that activate neural connections in your brain that rewire desired ways of thinking or being. With practice, these new pathways will lead you more quickly into the state of mind that helps you reach your goals.

If you have a few moments, go ahead and try this simple exercise now. Close your eyes and notice your breath. Become aware of the physical sensations of this breathing, and try to keep your mind from wandering; when it does, just notice it and gently bring it back to the moment. Next, think of something you feel grateful for or something you're looking forward to. Try to experience the internal shift in sensations from being in task mode to connecting to something that makes you feel good.

Imagine that positivity soaking in to your entire being and creating a more optimistic energy source for you to take with you as you return to your workday. Continue focusing on your breath as you relax into feelings of gratitude and positive anticipation for a few minutes.

Of course, the key to building any consistent ritual is practice and repetition. You must plan time to take breaks and hold your commitment as firmly as you would an appointment. Remember, you need your best energy to be the best for anyone else. Taking care of yourself is not selfish; quite the opposite is true. It's one of the only ways you can guarantee generosity toward others.

Calm the Body: Eliminate Irritants

Stress addiction is often rooted in a biochemical dependence on stimulation for energy; there simply isn't enough real energy from glucose and oxygen to keep the body and brain operating effectively. This leads to that feeling of being tired and wired at the same time: physically exhausted but mentally wound up and restless. Building time and space for rest into our schedule may seem simple in theory. However, it is the hardest step in the stress management process because it means letting go of the stress that has kept us energized for so long.

Stress doesn't just provide us with a temporary source of fuel to get things done. It also serves as a fabulous distraction tool for our brain when we'd rather not think about other things or endure painful feelings. As we slow down and start to get rest, other challenges and uncomfortable thought patterns may begin to surface. Believe it or not, that's what we want to happen. We need to work through these negative associations to release them. We can't just try to suffocate them with more stress.

Most people don't realize that their greatest stress response is triggered from stimulants within their body. There are two critical components of energy: glucose and oxygen. If we have too much or two little of either one, we push our system out of balance and into what we've come to call survival mode. It's obvious that running out of food or not being able to breathe is a death sentence, but our brain begins to fear a shortage quicker than we realize. We look at both of these critical elements as we discuss techniques of getting physical rest, stabilizing glucose with strategic nutrition, and optimizing circulation of oxygen through consistent movement and adequate sleep.

1. Balance Blood Sugar

One of the most important ways to maintain our brain's health and performance is to keep blood sugar levels stable throughout the day. The problem is that our current lifestyle seems to support the opposite of the consistency that our brain craves. We're usually rushing through our days, often unaware of hunger due to constant stress and busyness. Eating once or twice a day not only wreaks havoc on energy levels but is also certain to expand waistlines. As if that's not enough, the sugar spikes we experience throughout the day have been shown to be toxic to the brain.

Nutrition is critical to providing your system with the right quantity and quality of energy. Although your best diet strategies depend on your unique goals and priorities, the fundamentals are always the same: Eat light, eat often, and eat balanced. These simple rules keep blood sugar levels stable throughout the day and must be at the core of your program; otherwise, your energy is compromised.

We each have an ideal range of energy that we need at any given time. Although it's not important or realistic to know exactly what that amount is, we can assume based on fundamental nutritional science that we need to replenish glucose every 3 to 4 hours. When we go too long without eating, we signal to the body that there is an emergency situation and we have run out of fuel. Our body interprets this as famine or starvation and provides energy from stored glucose in the cells (protein and fat). We cannot be fully engaged when we are functioning in survival mode, because the body won't provide adequate energy to all cells—just the most essential ones. This is when you may notice yourself feeling irritable, moody, and impatient or find it difficult to concentrate on the task at hand. In an effort to conserve available resources, the brain signals a metabolic slowdown that fuels only the most critical functions, such as heartbeat and breathing. Being patient, loving, and kind just isn't that important if you're stranded on a deserted island.

Any time our glucose is elevated too much or too quickly, the body receives a signal that there's an emergency surplus, some of which it must store to keep blood sugar from staying high (which ultimately leads to serious problems such as high blood pressure, circulatory issues, and organ damage). In this case, the brain perceives a threat to survival but also embraces the idea that we have more than we need and can amp up our energy reserves (or fat cells). There is nothing better to a hungry brain than storing excess calories for the future, which is one of the reasons that cortisol, triggered by chronic stress, is so clearly linked to fat storage.

Like so many other topics we've covered in this book, balance is the key. When it comes to nutrition, too much and not enough both pull us out of balance and can cause additional stress. Few things are as toxic to the brain or as inflammatory to the body as a sudden spike in insulin caused by an energy surge (too much sugar) or the chronic cortisol stimulated by long lapses in mealtimes.

You can use meals and snacks throughout the day to provide stable glucose. Meals should give you energy for about 3 to 4 hours and consist of about four or five handfuls of food, combining protein, carbohydrate, and fruits or vegetables at each meal. This nutrient combination gives you the fast energy you need from carbohydrates while slower-processing foods that contain protein, fat, or fiber keep blood sugar from spiking too quickly. If you need some ideas for healthy, stress-free meals, visit the resources section of my website at www.synergyprograms.com. I recommend a plate that looks something like Figure 4.1.

Figure 4.1 A Healthy Balanced Meal

Most people have three or four meals a day, depending on their schedule. If that's not convenient for you, snacking regularly might provide a better way to manage your blood sugar during the day. Ideally, snacks should bridge the gap between meals, keep your body going for about 2 hours, and consist of approximately 150 calories of a low-glycemic food or combination of foods. Depending on their schedules, most people have two to four snacks a day. Examples of low glycemic snacks include:

• Almond butter and rice cakes or whole-grain crackers
• Hummus and pita bread
• Apple, orange, pear, or bowl of berries
• Greek yogurt, low-fat cheese, or cottage cheese and fruit
• Almonds, pistachios, cashews, walnuts, or pecans
• Small glass of almond or rice milk
• Half of an all-natural nutrition bar
• Small latte
• Steamed edamame
• Trail mix

2. Eliminate Stimulating Foods

When we start to slow down, we may experience an initial crash, which can cause us to consciously or subconsciously reach for substances that help rev us up again. Many of these come in the form of foods or food “stuffs” (overly processed consumables that look like, smell like, and taste like food but have no nutritional value). The best way to determine a good food choice is to ask whether your grandparents' grandparents would recognize it as food. Ideally it shouldn't come in a package or need a label to tell you why it's good for you. Because processed foods give us sugar and often come packaged with other highly additive substances like salt and fat, we get an immediate rush and feel energized from eating them, if only for a few moments. By temporarily eliminating these stimulating and toxic foods, we bring the body back into balance and are forced to depend on natural foods that give us more bang for our buck.

You can create a nutritional rest period by beginning with a simple elimination diet, a process that has been used for years to determine potential food sensitivities and allergies. Although there are many potential culprits in the current food supply, seven particular foods seem to cause the majority of problems across the population. I call them the stressful seven. These highly inflammatory foods are wheat, corn, soy, dairy, peanuts, sugar (including alcohol), and artificial sweeteners. Because of its stimulating effect, it's also a great idea to eliminate or at least reduce the use of caffeine for this first step of the process. Don't worry—you'll get to reintroduce all of these items into your routine further into the program. For now, you need to give your system a chance to rest.

Although it may seem like there are no options available after getting rid of everything on that list, plenty of foods make easy substitutions. Brown rice, sweet potatoes, and squash are great choices for carbohydrates, whereas eggs, almonds and other nuts and seeds (other than peanuts), legumes, and quinoa, in addition to lean meats, supply adequate protein to balance blood sugar. Optimizing intake of fresh or frozen fruits and vegetables is an important part of a balanced diet, and we focus more on these particular foods as we move into the repair phase of the program. For now, do your best to minimize processed and stimulating foods. This gives your body a better chance to get the rest it deserves.

If the elimination diet feels too shocking to your system, begin your rest process by getting rid of the most stimulating of the bunch, avoiding processed sugar, alcohol, and caffeine. Purging these irritating nutrients gives your system a better chance at obtaining rest. As you start to feel better, you might be motivated to clean up your diet even more. If you're like me, you might not want to get rid of more than what you absolutely have to based on your unique responses. If this is the case, you might consider further exploration to find out what specifically triggers an internal stress response for you.

Although several common criminals cause inflammation, you can narrow your focus further by getting a food sensitivities test. People ask me all the time whether I believe that people have developed more food allergies nowadays because we're all overly cautious and trying to blame the wrong things for our fatigue. There are so many reasons food has become more challenging; a substantial one is that many foods have been genetically modified, overly processed, or stripped of their original nutritional value. Some experts estimate that our current corn and soy production is nearly 80 to 90 percent genetically modified,⁴ which means that our bodies may not recognize what we're eating is food. In addition, our soil is becoming weaker over time, so we might not be consuming the vitamins and minerals we're used to getting through our food—and instead we are being exposed to too much of what we don't want.

The causes and consequences of our current food production habits far outreach the scope of this book, but some great resources are available to you if you'd like more information. For now, it's sufficient to be aware that when food undergoes modification—including how it's treated before, during, and after preparation—it can alter the way our body responds to it. Because foods change more quickly than our digestive system can evolve, this can cause us to be out of balance. If you're interested in learning more about food allergies and intolerances, or if you'd like to do a food sensitivities test, reach out to [email protected] for additional guidance.

This can be a scary and frustrating road to explore, but don't feel overwhelmed. Take a deep breath, and start to make the simple changes we discussed earlier to balance blood sugar and eliminate key nutritional stressors for now. As you feel more rested and energized, you can continue to learn more about how you can have a positive impact on this growing problem.

3. Hydrate

People are often surprised that I don't talk more about water consumption. The truth is that most people have been lectured enough about how important it is to drink water. I've also paid close attention to the research, which suggests that we don't need to drink as much water as we once thought, because we drink other beverages that contribute to our total water intake and many foods provide water to our system. That said, I think most people feel better overall if they consume water consistently throughout the day.

The best way to determine whether you are properly hydrated is to look at the color of your urine. You are most likely adequately hydrated if it's a light shade. A darker shade of yellow is a clear sign of dehydration (unless you've recently consumed a multivitamin, which can cause a temporarily increase in urine color content). A slight amount of dehydration can impair your body's ability to function appropriately, leading to headaches, fatigue, and a sluggish digestive system, so it's worth aiming for eight glasses of water a day. Even better, keep a glass or bottle of water with you and sip from it regularly.

Here are a few other benefits to drinking water:

• Many people mistake physical signals of thirst for signals of hunger and end up eating when they're not really hungry. If you think you might be hungry, have some water first, take a few relaxing breaths, and then mindfully go into your meal or snack instead of rushing right to food.
• Drinking more water makes you use the bathroom more, which means you have to get up and walk and take breaks more regularly. This increases circulation, gives your body and brain a time-out, and increases your metabolism throughout the day.
• The bathroom is one of the only places people seem to take a break from the busyness around them (unless you're one of those people who takes their cell phone into the bathroom and continues their conversation, which I'd strongly suggest you stop doing). This makes it a perfect opportunity for you to practice a little mindful meditation.

4. Move Regularly

It may surprise you to hear that exercise can be unhealthy—and may even make you more stressed. That's because as far as the brain is concerned, you're not exercising because you want to; you're doing it because you have to. Think about it: Why would you want to expend energy exerting yourself unless it was crucial for your survival? When we're running on empty, the last thing we want to do is try to spend more of what we don't have.

But humans were built to move. It is estimated that our Paleolithic ancestors had to walk 5 to 10 miles on an average day to find food and shelter. Our bodies are therefore genetically predisposed to frequent, consistent, whole-body movement. Unfortunately, we have reduced this movement to dangerously low levels in modern times due to technological advances that make it easy to access everything we need right from our seat. Regular physical activity is a crucial part of our daily routine, because it has been shown to:

• Increase breathing and heart rate, which enhance blood flow, energy production, and waste removal.
• Stimulate the release of brain-derived neurotrophic factor, which supports the growth of new neurons.
• Increase the amount and capacity of blood vessels in the brain and body.
• Boost serotonin, a neurotransmitter that fights depression.
• Normalize sleep patterns.
• Improve self-efficacy and sense of accomplishment.
• Enhance resilience to stress over time.

Our ancient survival instincts that were so valuable thousands of years ago continue to steer us to conserve energy—specifically by eating more and moving less. The solution is therefore not to jump into an intense workout regimen. You can minimize the stress response of your body and brain by easing into more consistent daily activity that you add to your current routine. This keeps you from perceiving movement as such a huge upfront investment, meaning that your mind won't try so hard to talk you out of it.

One way to make it easier to incorporate physical activity into an already busy schedule is to gradually increase the general movement we get throughout the day. This may be more important than purposeful exercise in the gym, because the longer people sit, the higher their risk of many health problems, regardless of the amount of exercise they do. A study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology followed 123,000 adults over 14 years and found that those who sat more than 6 hours a day were at least 18 percent more likely to die than those who sat less than 3 hours a day.⁵

Simply standing instead of sitting can double metabolism, and walking can multiply resting metabolism fivefold. Consider the following strategies to maximize your general movement throughout the day:

• Use a headset and walk around while talking for calls longer than a few minutes.
• Use a standing desk or countertop for work.
• Modify behaviors that are usually done seated by making rules to stand at certain times, such as when watching TV or reading.
• Allow sedentary behavior only after accumulating time with activity. For example, play computer or video games after walking for 30 minutes or climbing stairs for 10 minutes.
• Start slowly by adding 5 to 10 minutes every day for a week, with a goal of an extra 1 to 2 hours of accumulated general activity each day.
• Use self-monitoring devices such as pedometers or calorie measuring applications (such as Fitbit, NikeFuel, or BodyBug) to track progress and boost accountability.

5. Sleep Enough, Nap as Needed

Although physical activity is critical to keeping oxygen and glucose circulating throughout the day, at times we need to simply rest. We have a serious sleep problem in this country, as well as across the globe. According to recent studies, approximately 70 million Americans are affected by chronic sleep loss or sleep disorders. The annual cost of chronic sleep loss is estimated at $16 billion in health care expenses and $50 billion in lost productivity.⁶

A lack of sleep puts your body under additional stress, which may trigger increases in adrenaline, cortisol, and other stress hormones during the day. Your body is not able to undergo the proper recovery cycles when you fail to get adequate sleep. This means that you miss the opportunity for your blood pressure to dip during the evening. This may negatively affect your heart and vascular system by increasing C-reactive protein, which is released when there is inflammation in the body and has been shown to increase the risk of developing heart disease. Too little sleep also compromises immune functioning, because you fail to produce the necessary hormones and other molecules you need to fight off infection.

Sleep is not just about giving your system a rest. It is also when your body and brain do some of their most important work to repair and rebuild muscle tissue and strengthen neural connections that improve learning and memory. The area of the brain that may be most affected by sleep, or lack of it, is the prefrontal cortex, the part that's responsible for executive functioning processes such as learning, judgment, reasoning, memory consolidation, and understanding.

Sleep deprivation and sleepiness have adverse effects on performance, response times, accuracy, attention, and concentration. Lack of quality sleep has been associated with a range of quality-of-life measures, such as social functioning, mental and physical health, and even early death. It's also been correlated with obesity, increases in smoking and alcohol use, inactivity, inflammation and heart disease, and blood sugar imbalances.⁷

Most people are well aware that they should be getting more sleep but fail to make it a priority because there are so many other things they could or should be getting done. Like the scenario I described in the Introduction, we convince ourselves we'll just do one more thing before bed. Then, before we know it, hours slip by mindlessly, and sleeplessly. To get the adequate sleep we need to fully rest, it's important that we make bedtime a priority, try to stick with a consistent routine, and establish bedtime rituals that support a better quality of sleep once we get there.

Although some activities can assist you in falling and staying asleep long enough to feel rested, there are others that you should avoid before bedtime. Here are a few tips for sleeping well:

• Go to bed early. Some studies suggest that early to bed and early to rise is more suited to our natural rhythms.
• Don't toss and turn. If you have trouble falling asleep, don't just lie there. Do something relaxing until you feel sleepy.
• Limit naps. Napping can be helpful to recharge your energy, but be sure to keep naps brief. Nap for less than an hour and always before 3 PM.
• Wake up at the same time on the weekend that you do on weekdays. Though it's tempting to sleep until noon on your days off, it is best to keep timing consistent. This enables you to build a steady pattern around your sleep schedule.
• Avoid late-day caffeine. Don't consume caffeine in the afternoon or at night. It stays in your system for hours and can make it hard for you to fall asleep.
• Adjust the lights in your bedroom. Dim the lights in the evening so that your body knows it is soon time to sleep. Let in the sunlight in the morning to boost your alertness.
• Wind down. Take some time to wind down before going to bed. Get away from the computer, turn off the TV and your cell phone, and relax quietly for 15 to 30 minutes. Parents should keep TVs and computers out of their children's bedrooms.
• Eat a little. Never eat a large meal right before bedtime. It may cause you to feel drowsy, but your body will have to work hard to process all of that food, which can stimulate your system. You can enjoy a healthy snack or light dessert (such as a handful of almonds or a small bowl of frozen blueberries with yogurt) so that you don't go to bed hungry.
• Avoid alcohol right before bed. Although it seems like a drink or two may help you fall asleep, it may also keep you from getting the quality of sleep you need. The body quickly metabolizes alcohol, which has a stimulating effect on the brain. This disrupts sleep, even when you don't wake up.

Many people are surprised that I'm a huge fan of napping, and fortunately I have the research to back up my beliefs and justify my love of a good midday snooze. Several studies have demonstrated that taking a nap before testing cognitive skills or memory increases performance.⁸ Organizations are increasingly adding napping pods and relaxation rooms for employees to use to recharge their energy. It may not be realistic for everyone to nap on the job, but you can create many of the same benefits by practicing a longer session (approximately 20 minutes) of mindfulness meditation. If you feel tired, however, give yourself permission to take a nap of 15 to 20 minutes. You may find yourself with higher levels of productivity as a result, providing a great return on your time investment.

For more information on sleep, check out the recommended reading list at the back of the book or visit www.sleepfederation.org.

Social Rest

In addition to the chemical makeup of our internal environment, what happens externally with our environment and social support triggers a shift in our body chemistry in either a positive or a negative direction. Our sense of connection with the world around us has proved to be a key energizer, even adding seven healthy years to our life span. When we feel disconnected, our brain perceives this as a threat to our survival and triggers the chronic stress response as a result. At the same time, being overly connected or feeling excess pressure to always be available can wear us down and burn us out. Like the other energy dimensions we've discussed so far, finding balance is what's best.

1. Reach Out for Social Support

When it comes to our survival instincts, being part of the right crowd may be one of the most important factors keeping us alive. Researchers often trigger the physiological stress response in animals by removing them from their social structure, because the simple act of isolating them activates stress hormones. The same applies to us—loneliness is a threat to human survival.

Considering all of the technological advances we have to keep us connected, you might think we are more social than ever. However, this constant preoccupation with staying connected has torn apart the concept of relationships as we once knew them. We may have more breadth in our number of connections, but it's taken a toll on the depth of our relationships.

Social connection is based on how you feel, not the number of friends you have or whether you're married or single. A Harvard University study examined data from more than 309,000 people and found that a lack of strong relationships increased the risk of premature death from all causes by 50 percent—an effect comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and one that had a more significant negative impact than obesity and physical inactivity.⁹

When we make a positive social connection, our brain releases a feel-good chemical called oxytocin, which instantly reduces anxiety and improves focus and concentration. In 2008, Oscar Ybarra and his colleagues evaluated the social engagement of 3,600 people aged 24 to 96. They found that the more connected people were, the better they performed on a mental exam.¹⁰ Social support has also been shown to increase cardiovascular and immune system functioning, whereas lack of social support increased blood pressure by 30 points.¹¹

Feeling lonely changes behavior as well. Studies have connected loneliness with a decrease in exercise, an increase in caloric consumption (especially comfort foods high in processed carbohydrates), and an increase in alcohol and drug consumption (both prescription and illegal). Loneliness also negatively affects immune functioning, impairs sleep, and has recently been correlated to the risk of developing Alzheimer's disease. Unfortunately, loneliness can be a vicious cycle, because it can trigger a sense of sadness that causes more isolation and an even greater sense of loneliness.

The quality of our relationships matters more than the quantity. Someone with two or three close friends may feel more fully engaged socially than someone with 20 acquaintances (or 300 Facebook connections). Although marriage was once thought to help people feel connected, it's the quality of the relationship (no surprise here), not merely marital status, that determines the potential benefit.

People with whom you have important relationships want nothing more from you than your attention. Practicing focusing exercises helps you train yourself to be more present for the people and things that matter most to you. This enables you to bring your best energy to the current moment, even when you don't have a lot of time to give. It also allows you to fully appreciate and embrace the sense of connection you're having with each interaction.

To increase your sense of connection, look at your current schedule. Try to identify times that you could either reach out to someone for a conversation or ask that person to join you on a task or activity. This is a great opportunity for cross-training, such as grabbing a friend or colleague to go for a walk so that you can exercise while you connect. You could also ask a family member to join you for a movie so that you can improve your connection while getting some relaxation—if you chose the right movie and the right family member, of course.

2. Beware of Energy Vampires

Although it's important to feel connected, too much interaction can be a drain. We all have people we care about in our lives who seem to have a dark cloud following them around. Even on the best of days, some people find a way to complain about every little thing. We want to be supportive, but it can be incredibly draining when we're already feeling run down and we don't have energy to spare. During these strategic periods of rest, it's important that we become a little selfish and protect the energy we're trying so hard to recover.

Keep in mind that this focused rest phase is not meant to last forever, so there is no need to say goodbye to those high-maintenance friends and family members you want to have around in moderation. By setting aside some time to rest and recharge, you will be better able to give them an extra energy boost without compromising your health and happiness. For now, look at your social circle and identify people who add stress or drain your energy. You might want to let them know that you're going on a recharge break and will be unavailable for a few days just to set clear boundaries. By letting them know you're taking time for yourself and by communicating expectations, you set up healthy guidelines for yourself and for them. It may be tough initially to hold true to the limits you're setting, but as with anything else, give it a solid effort and it will become easier.

Putting it into Practice: Stepping Stones

At the end of each chapter in Part 2, we discuss one stepping-stone strategy that you can immediately incorporate into your practice. This technique provides you with enough structure to being training your brain and body to use the concepts discussed in the previous section while allowing you the flexibility to customize your experience as you become increasingly familiar with the application.

Stepping Stone 1: Enough

Early in my attempts to manage anxiety, I realized a significant source of stress was grounded in the idea that I wasn't enough. Perhaps what scared me even more was the notion that I was not enough in some ways and too much in others. I believe that deep down our brain triggers these insecurities with good intent: to motivate us to get more of what we need to survive (money, time, knowledge, power, influence, and other resources). Yet as we reach milestone after milestone, we naturally tend to adapt by setting the bar even higher, never quite reaching the point we think will bring us a sense of accomplishment, peace, and security.

I created a simple mantra, “I have enough, I am enough,” to gently nudge my brain in a more self-compassionate direction, bringing about a renewed perspective of abundance. When we recognize that we have everything we need in this moment, we allow the brain to disarm its protective guard and experience rest, if only temporarily.

Like training a new muscle or skill, with time and repetition we can strengthen our ability to focus attention on all of the things we have, including something as simple as the air we breathe in and out in this moment, instead of obsessing about all of the things our constantly striving brain wants to have for future assurances.

Try it now. Read the following instructions, and then try to walk through the steps on your own. You can also download a guided meditation track directing this practice at www.synergyprograms.com/stressaholic.