8

Step 5: Redesign

In this final step of our stressaholic recovery process, you will begin to redesign your lifestyle so that it supports your efforts to strategically manage your energy. A big part of this requires setting aside time when you can rest and invest energy back into your system. Merely knowing what to do has never been enough to cause sustainable change. You must have a strategic plan in which you feel confident—one that requires you to make a few small changes at a time to support the growth process. To do this, you start to create a pulse throughout the day by using consistent breaks to refuel energy through nutrition and movement and breaking up your workday into blocks that allow strategic engagement and disengagement.

Creating healthy oscillation requires that we identify rituals that can be implemented at both individual and organizational levels. The biggest problem with most current stress management programs is that they are reactive. In other words, companies use resources to make sure that people can get the help they need if something negative happens as a result of stress. Although this is an important safety net, only a very small percentage of employees use these types of services; oftentimes, significant damage has already been done. However, participants seem more apt to welcome proactive programs that build training and communication around a more global theme of building health and resilience. These initiatives also improve employee morale, because workers feel that their organization truly cares about their well-being. One example of this is a program offered by My Brain Solutions, in which resilience training is part of an overall physical and cognitive fitness training platform. This interactive solution typically see usage rates as high as 70 percent.¹

Our conversation needs to move in the direction of a cultural shift that embraces not only healthy choices shown to significantly decrease health care costs to the organization but also to appropriate energy management strategies that keep employees fully focused and engaged and decrease the feeling of being overwhelmed, presenteeism (showing up physically but not being present mentally or emotionally), and burnout. It's time for organizations to start doing more than creating underutilized onsite workout facilities. Even resources like napping pods and recharge rooms are only great in theory if the corporate culture still suggests that anyone who uses them is lazy or weak. Successfully managing energy by encouraging employees to take consistent breaks is a sign of great strength. We all know how challenging it is to break away from the tight grasp of work, to-do lists, and deadlines to come back more fully fueled and prepared to work with greater intensity and sustainability as a result.

I can't tell you how often I talk to employees who confide in me that while they fully believe in and support the idea of energy management, they feel overwhelmed with the ceaseless demands placed upon them by leadership. If we wait to make changes to our personal routine until life makes it easier for us, then it's never going to happen. We must therefore take responsibility for doing the best we can despite our circumstances.

However, for us to create the big changes necessary for dramatic reductions in our shared stress addiction tendencies, we have to consider how we might work to shift the culture of organizations to one that supports individual efforts. We need to have more conversations about the way we're working and determine how we can optimize our energy for both performance and sustainable health, because both clearly affect the organization's productivity and long-term success.

When we look back on our previous steps, we know we need to design rituals that support a variety of changes. We know we must get adequate rest during the day, take recharge breaks that build in nutrition and movement, and complete strategic training that provides a healthy dose of stimulation to break down old physical and mental muscles before building them back up again to be stronger over time. To do this, we must establish a new way of setting boundaries and expectations so that we can take the time we need to practice, communicate with an effective attitude so that others know the intent behind our training, and allocate enough time to create a habit.

Let's start our focus on the part of the puzzle that you're most confident you can control: your personal routine. Keep in mind that your energy management starts from the moment you wake up in the morning and continues until you turn off the lights at night. Creating consistent rituals for basic self-care is essential to keeping your inner battery charged throughout the day.

Personal BEATs

It's important to recognize that many of our assumptions about the way we're supposed to be spending our energy—that is, that we should be going nonstop—are not grounded in truth. Many of our habits exist because we assume people have certain expectations of us or because that's the way everyone else seems to be working. Here's a favorite example: People often set an out-of-office message to respond to incoming e-mails when they're unavailable—usually on vacation, on a business trip, or even out sick. Typically it reads something like, “I will be out of the office on x-y-z dates with limited access to e-mail. If you need immediate attention, please contact [email protected] and he will be happy to assist you. Thank you.” Now, when I send someone an e-mail and get that response, I always laugh to myself, wondering how long it will take to actually get a reply, knowing it's usually not long.

It happened to me this week. I received a wonderful out-of-office message from a guy I had been referred to for some website updates. I was hopeful that I wouldn't hear back from him until the time he returned, because his message said, “I am out of the country enjoying my honeymoon. I will not have access to e-mail, nor will I respond if I do (I am not interested in an early divorce). I will be back in the office on Thursday, August 29, and will address your e-mail as soon as possible. Thank you for your understanding and we will talk when I return.” What a great message! It clearly set boundaries and expectations and used a dose of humor to share a positive attitude. I was so sure that I would not hear back for a couple of weeks that I was a bit discouraged when I received an e-mail from him early the next morning. I chalk it up to being a step toward progress, though because he sent the message and did so with fabulous intent.

The challenge comes when we don't do things like this and then hold to them consistently. Specifically, we fail to build up our distraction-resistance muscle that enables us the strength we need to truly disconnect when we want to.

The concept makes sense: If you tell people that you're not available, you can take the pressure off yourself to feel like you need to reply right away. But do you eliminate that pressure? Or are you so used to being constantly connected that you still check—just to make sure you're not missing anything? Do you tell yourself, “I'll respond quickly so that I don't have to deal with it later,” convinced that you'll save yourself time, and stress, in the future? Why even take a vacation if you're not going to give yourself a break?

I know what you're thinking: You hate the idea of all that work piling up for you to deal with when you return. However, you've already determined that your system needs a break occasionally. So if you can't take a full week off and enjoy the downtime, what could you plan to do that would give your brain and body a chance to rest? Perhaps you'd be better off taking shorter vacations—where you actually take time away from work—more often. As with any recovery strategy, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Some people feel better taking shorter breaks more often, like a long weekend each month; others need a more extended amount of time away to allow themselves adequate time to disconnect. The important thing is figuring out what you need and then developing and enacting the best action plan to make sure it happens.

The same thing applies when it comes to taking smaller recharge breaks throughout the day. Most people agree that we need to take better care of ourselves and oscillation seems like a healthy way to do that. However, it can feel almost impossible to pry ourselves from the tasks at hand when we're amid a chaotic work schedule. To have a plan we can stick with, it's critical that we first truly believe that what we're doing is important. We need a message or story that supports what we've practiced saying to ourselves. This is what keeps us motivated when facing challenges or sensing pressure from the outside to keep plugging away, despite plummeting energy levels. If this is still a challenge for you, I encourage you to reread the previous chapter walk through the rethink steps for creating a supportive story.

Once we have the right story in place, we can then set up the logistical process required to support our efforts. This includes clear boundaries and expectations, communicating with a positive attitude, and then allowing time for the new rituals or BEATs to become part of our automated routine. In doing so, we create a healthy rhythm that supports our energy replenishment strategies to keep our tank full, our brain out of conservation mode, and our system strong enough to be resilient to stress.

Boundaries

Decide what, where, and when you will set aside time for yourself to recharge throughout the day. Determine from the get-go that these time blocks are as important as any client meeting or appointment you've scheduled. Remind yourself that you're refueling your energy so that you can have more to give to the projects you need to complete, colleagues you partner with, and clients you serve. Also remember that recharging during the day increases the chance that you'll have energy left at the end of it. You'll be able to spend on time with friends, with family, or even on personal hobbies you once enjoyed or always wanted to try but were too tired or busy to do. Be as clear as possible on what, where, and when you will take your breaks and how you will communicate these breaks to other people who may want your attention during that time.

This last one can be a little tricky for an always-on professional environment. You might consider having a sign on your door or workspace that says “time out” or “recharging,” putting an out-of-office message on your e-mail or voice mail temporarily, or blocking out time on your calendar in advance as if you were in a meeting—using whatever description you feel comfortable sharing. If you feel that your organization supports your right to take breaks, then schedule them in as such and allow yourself to be a great example of energy management for your coworkers. If you feel alone in your energy management journey, call it a client meeting. Alternatively, get in your car and go for a short drive, take a walk, or do something else that makes you physically unavailable; be sure that you're mentally and emotionally creating some temporary distance as well.

Expectations

You might be surprised to find out how supportive other people are of your recharge breaks when they know what to expect. It seems like we're all hyperaware of how responsive everyone else at our workplace is to e-mails and other communications, so we assume that we too must be available around the clock. Yet I have plenty of colleagues and clients who don't have this sense of urgency when it comes to responding. So I shifted my expectations once I learned that about them. I know I can expect to hear back from some people within the hour or at least a few hours. I quickly learned that others might take a couple of days, a week, or more to respond because of their schedule. But it's more than schedule. I've also realized that these slow responders tend to be those who block out time to respond when it works for them. They don't have their e-mail open constantly; they use their e-mail when they're ready.

When we're strategic about time and energy, we're better able to get things done quickly, effectively, and efficiently. We are more successful when we set aside time for particular tasks rather than reacting to whatever may pop up all day. Most of us intuitively know this. However, we feel pulled to the technological leash that keeps us feeling connected, needed, and available for exciting news that stimulates the brain. We must keep in mind that we are the ones who set and maintain expectations. Therefore, if we're always responding, people come to expect a quick response time. If you feel powerless to establish clear boundaries and manage expectations in a way that allows you this flexibility, you always have the ability to engage in clarifying conversations with others to find a middle ground that works for everyone involved.

Attitude

Communication is essential when it comes to establishing healthy boundaries and expectations. You want to be clear about your purpose and convey a positive and productive attitude about needing oscillation. This doesn't make you lazy or weak; rather, you're creating a healthy rhythm during the day that keeps your energy consistent and stable so that you can bring your best effort to your time investments. If people get the feeling that you're checking out or disengaged for some unknown reason, then you communicate a message of deprivation—which elicits a stress response in others. But if you use a constructive, fun, or humorous approach, you can share positive, abundant energy instead. Examples might be using language such as “I'm in airplane mode” when you're offline, using a door sign that states “recharging,” or blocking off your shared calendar as “boosting brainpower” to let others know that you're temporarily off the grid. As long as you set boundaries and ensure that people know they'll have access to you when you're available, you're then able to give them your full and best energy in return for their patience.

Time

Setting up boundaries and expectations, even with the best of intentions and attitude, still takes time and consistency to become part of a daily routine. This new way of life will probably take a while to feel comfortable, so don't give up because it isn't coming easily. As I've said repeatedly throughout this book: Change requires an energy investment. It's even more challenging for your brain to feel secure in spending the energy you need to rewire thought and behavior habits when you're feeling overwhelmed. Research suggests that new habits take anywhere from 21 to 90 days to establish, so be patient with yourself and with others as you work to create your new routine. You may find it helpful to set several short-term goals to manage your expectations. Consider taking one week at a time. Pick a day of the week, maybe Monday morning or Friday afternoon, to look at your upcoming schedule and plug in necessary breaks. The more consistently you approach planning and preparation, the easier the routine becomes. Eventually, you will figure out what time of day and which strategies are giving you the best opportunity to rest, repair, and rebuild your energy. Then you can create even more structured guidelines that start to be second nature to how you do business.

Organizational BEATs

One of the best ways to support personal stress and energy management efforts is to create organizationwide initiatives that encourage and even reward these best practices. As companies increasingly recognize the high costs of unmanaged stress with regards to health care, disability, and disengagement in the workplace, leadership is required to implement systemic policy changes that support employee well-being in a proactive and holistic way. Just as wellness programs have become commonplace in the work environment, building a culture of stress and energy management that supports both physical and cognitive fitness is essential. It's necessary not only for talent acquisition and retention but also for protecting the investment companies have in their most valuable resource: human capital.

Many organizations have recognized this need and begun to create corporate cultures that support the self-care and oscillation techniques we've discussed throughout this book. For example, Volkswagen shuts down e-mail servers 30 minutes after employees finish their shifts in an effort to decrease constant and obsessive e-mail use. They then turn it back on 30 minutes before start time. The great thing about this policy is that it doesn't keep people from getting things done if they need to put together a message for someone; it hinders the delivery of the message so that the receiving party isn't expected to act on it until the next business day. Although this may seem a bit extreme, companywide policies such as this may be the only way to guarantee that employees don't feel like they must constantly check for what might need their attention outside of business hours.

E-mail has quickly replaced phone calls as the most convenient form of communication, because it's quick and to the point. Yet this “time saver” can often do the opposite. Employees find themselves spending ever more time filtering through the information to determine what requires a response, an action, or merely an unsubscribe. It's important to think about how we use e-mail to make sure that we're not wasting precious time and energy. We need to streamline the process as much as possible and avoid using electronic communications to evade interactions that would work better face to face. Simple rules such as keeping messages brief and to the point, using the subject line to convey the main topic and set a priority level, and limiting use of group e-mails and copy/reply all messages to when necessary can help improve e-mail etiquette.

In addition to making communication more effective, many organizations are creating resources to make recharge breaks more accessible to their employees, especially in places where quiet space is hard to find. The open-space environment that many offices use nowadays may seem to stimulate teamwork and invigorate overall energy levels; however, it can also make it feel nearly impossible for employees to get away for mindful reflection. One idea is to set up recharge rooms with comfortable chairs, relaxed lighting, and a quiet-zone policy to give people a space to sit and rest or recharge in peace. Although it's not nearly as common, some companies have napping pods available for employees to lie down and meditate or take a quick snooze. Hydraulic desks that rise to a standing position or treadmill desks that allow employees to walk at a slow pace to encourage movement are being used more frequently, especially for groups that have traditionally been required to sit for long periods. What if you can't afford the latest technology devices to lift you out of your seat? Try putting an old box on top of your desk from time to time for a free boost.

Clear and consistent signage can help communicate the message that taking care of yourself leads to taking care of business within the office environment. You can use this language in posters and artwork around the office, placards in meeting rooms that encourage people to stand frequently or to leave their cell phone at the door when in session, or words written on staircases that encourage physical activity, such as steps that say “walk this way” or “pathway to health.”

Perhaps my favorite strategy—one that I encourage every organization to attempt to make part of their corporate culture—is to implement a 50-minute work hour policy across the board. Several professions, including mental health counselors and massage therapists, already have this time structure as a standard. They recognize that to have an appointment starting on the hour, they need to build in time to transition between patients or clients. I'll never understand how we expect people to be in meetings for 60 minutes back to back to back without allowing time to get from one to the next physically, let alone being able to mentally make the shift from one topic to the next. How many times have you been in a meeting with a client still thinking about the one that just left or drifting off to thoughts about something else coming up later in the day that you still need to prepare for?

By building in a routine of transition time between appointments, meetings, or even tasks, we allow ourselves to wrap up, recharge, and then prepare for what's ahead without constantly worrying about being late or unprepared. Even though this makes perfect sense intuitively, we still fight the battle of feeling like we're wasting time by giving only 50 minutes instead of 60 minutes. It's important that we constantly remind ourselves that the quality of our work and our ability to give our full and best attention is measured not by the time we give but by the energy we bring to the time we have.

In an ideal world, all organizations would embrace and adopt policies that empower employees to manage their energy more effectively. However, demands on our time and resources will continue to skyrocket, so it's critical that we don't wait for the change to happen. Vast amounts of research have proved the return on investment for personal energy management strategies; so we know we're moving in the right direction. Ultimately, it's up to individuals to take responsibility for their recharge process. By creating a successful routine for yourself and bringing better energy to the team, you are able to inspire others around you to follow suit. You win, the company wins, and we all become healthier, happier, more productive, and resilient as a result.

Stepping Stone 5: Creating Your Optimal Performance Pulse

Our ability to have a healthy relationship with stress is grounded in our dedication to and persistence with taking care of ourselves from the inside out. We must remain fully committed to putting our own oxygen mask on first so that we can obtain the fuel we need to serve others. Although the strategies of resting, repairing, and rebuilding our energy supply throughout the day are common sense, they can't become common practice unless we invest the time and energy required to train new habits.

Despite the many demands and distractions we all face, our most difficult battle often takes place within ourselves: the struggle to make self-care a top priority. It may feel selfish or self-indulgent to spend time doing things that enable us to fully relax, but this is a critical part of what should be healthy oscillation. Think about how we care for young children; we want only the best for them, from healthy foods to consistent physical activity and plenty of good sleep. If only we could treat ourselves like the precious child we once were, allowing that same depth of love, nurturing, and compassion. We might find that our energy tank can be filled up. It might even start to overflow, giving us what we need to then provide that same love, nurturing, and compassion to the world around us. We should be able to serve others from the overflow of our cup, not from the mere droplets that seem to be left when we're exhausted and dying of thirst.

With this aim in mind, I provide a final stepping stone as a way to turn your affection, intention, and attention toward self-appreciation. Let's spend a few moments thinking about all of the hard work that your brain and body do to serve you throughout the day and give thanks.

Try it now. Read the following instructions, and then walk through the steps on your own. You can also download a guided meditation track directing this practice at www.synergyprograms.com/stressaholic.

Here are other mantras you may want to try to help improve your mental flexibility, keep a positive perspective, and connect with your deeper sense of purpose: