SWIMMING WITH SHARKS

Once I started teaching my USC summer class, I found myself talking a great deal about the benefits of networking and schmoozing. I’d also listen to the guest speakers I’d bring in who, unsolicited, would reiterate and emphasize the significance of networking from their own perspectives. I would routinely have students do research on networking organizations and always stressed how important it was for them to keep in touch, because they were each other’s first network.

For the students who bond with me and each other, the most difficult part of the class is when it ends, and they realize that their new source of motivation and encouragement is over. And it was hearing that disappointment each summer, in addition to having just spent the previous six weeks discussing the significance of networking that made me think about starting a new networking organization, one that would provide a continuous supply of resources, support and motivation.

There are several good networking groups out there, and many offer a snack, a guest speaker or panel and a chance to mingle, which is beneficial in its own right. But what came out of working with film students and knowing what they and others truly need was a vision for an organization that would go one step further in helping to further the career goals of its members. So in November 2000, I put the word out to friends, colleagues and former students and reserved the back room of a neighborhood restaurant. Seventeen of us showed up for that first meeting, and what resulted was a nonprofit organization called Film Industry Network (or FIN for short). We met monthly at a major studio and eventually had a sizable membership that included people of all ages from all facets of the industry and varying career levels. We, too, offered snacks and guest speakers, but we also had ongoing committees and programs that did indeed support careers. And our catchy motto (thanks to my friend Bill Harrold) was “Learn to swim with the sharks . . . but not as bait.”

FIN ended in 2008. The economy sucked, and many of our members were hard-pressed to pay even moderate dues. Around that same time, we lost our incredible meeting room. And the few of us who were running the organization were burnt out, because it had taken up so much of our lives. It was just time, and the decision was made to disband the organization on a high note—while we still had a great reputation.

Being involved with FIN from its inception, I witnessed first hand, many times over, people making great connections; helping each other; finding opportunities, mentors, job leads and new friends. The best thing, like the class, was the support. It was great to know that you were part of a group of people who understood what you were going through and shared your passion for the industry. And many of our members belonged to more than one organization, which only multiplied their connections.

I have since been involved with other groups—smaller ones, but they all serve a similar purpose. You become part of a community that shares resources and contacts. You help and support each other, cheer each other’s successes and help one another through the disappointments. Being part of a group also motivates you to try harder to reach your own goals. It’s one thing to tell yourself you’re going to write so many pages per day or set up so many meetings per week when you don’t have to answer to anyone. But you try harder when you know you’ll be with your group at the end of the week or month. Being part of an industry group (big or small) is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and your career.

THE SECRET

If you view networking as just something you have to do to get ahead and to get other people to help you with your career, you’re in the wrong game. It needs to be a two-way street and become part of your life, a part that freely gives to, shares with, helps and supports others. Think of the film, Field of Dreams, where Kevin Costner’s character keeps hearing the voice say, “If you build it, they will come.” Apply the same theory to networking: if you build the right foundation, are willing to give of yourself and are patient, good things will come back to you. It’s kind of like the old what-goes-around-comes-around theory.

As in any other competitive business, you will always run into those individuals who are too into themselves and too ambitious to see the benefit of helping others. They’re unwilling or are extraordinarily selective about putting themselves out for anyone else, sometimes doing so only if there’s something in it for them. But from my perspective, this business is also made up of good, talented, creative, hard-working individuals who are willing to help each other. This big secret seems like common sense, but so many people just don’t get that it works. I’ve seen it happen (to myself and to others) too often not to be a firm believer and practitioner.

In this industry in particular, networking should become part of who you are, because by supporting, giving to and sharing with others, you ultimately enrich your own life and career.

I’M A FRIEND OF MARC’S AND JEFF’S

It took me a while to learn the power of networking. It took another several years to be able to verbalize the secret of truly successful networking. And it took meeting Marc Hernandez and Jeffrey Gund to make it all so easy to understand.

I had first met Marc Hernandez in July, 2001 when he was a guest speaker at a Film Industry Network meeting. His story fascinated me. At 34 years old, Marc gave up a six-figure income in commercial real estate to pursue a life-long dream of working in the film industry. He took a job in the mailroom at UTA (a major talent/literary agency) for $350 per week. Upon graduating from the mailroom, he became an assistant to a literary agent. Placing about 100 phone calls a day for his boss, he would briefly chat with the assistants of the individuals his boss wanted to talk to. While talking to these various assistants, he would ask them for their email addresses. By the end of his first year, he had accumulated more than 600 email addresses. He then capitalized on a relatively untapped resource by finding websites that listed script sales. Soon, Marc was sending out the latest industry news, what scripts were being sold, who was hot, who was out and where upcoming parties and job openings were to the 2,800 people on his email list. Information being power, he was handing other assistants and junior executives a rare gift.

His email network became a kind of Hollywood newsletter, a site where he and others could post information about what was happening in town. Wanting to get to know the faces behind the voices and email addresses, Marc also became known for the mixers he’d organize, being able to fill up cool local hangouts with more than 500 “power assistants” at any one time. His email list kept growing and eventually included top-level executives who were also eager to know what was going on. Marc moved up to become a literary manager with an independent management/production company, and a year later, left to begin his own management firm.

Being in such a competitive business, it’s rare to find people generous enough to gather and share so much information with so many. And not only was this information the source of jobs and valuable connections to countless others, but building his massive network, helping others and making the effort to get to know as many people as he could has always been a key element to his own success. His first job as a literary manager was a result of sending out an email asking if anyone knew of any openings. As a literary manger, he used the same network in searching for clients and screenplays.

Marc was the first one I heard say, “It’s not just who you know, it’s who knows you.” And he was able to get his name out with every single email he sent—emails that by the time he left UTA went to 3,500 individuals who would then forward his information on to others in their own network. In 2004, with a Writers Guild strike imminent, Marc repositioned his strategy to focus on digital media. He utilized his network to move into the digital side of entertainment where he focused on selling media and technology to the motion picture studios. After working in this segment of the industry for a while, he landed a prominent position with Fox Networks Group and American Idol, where he led a national sales team selling digital advertising campaigns and sponsorships to Fortune 1000 advertisers. Today, Marc is still a master of networking with over 13,000 LinkedIn connections and 5,000 Facebook friends.

Jeffrey Gund has a similar story. He was a composer and sound designer when I first heard his name, and I knew his name long before I ever met him. I’d be sitting at the sign-in table at crowded FIN meetings and would ask people I didn’t recognize if this was their first meeting and how they had heard about us. A frequent response was, “I’m a friend of Jeff Gund’s.” Attendance was always higher when Jeff’s friends showed up, and I soon learned that Jeff had a very special email network, and he was kind enough to pass on our meeting notices. He also had a lot of friends.

I finally met Jeff, a friendly guy who would come to FIN meetings when he could. I eventually asked him if he’d put me on his famous list and also if he’d come to speak to my USC students about networking (which, by the way, he’s still doing—all these years later).

Jeff’s InfoList started out small. He had no intention of creating anything at all. He was just being a good friend by letting people know when he heard about jobs and opportunities. Maybe he’d read about a job in the trades he thought a couple of his friends might be interested in hearing about. Or he’d hear about a seminar or networking event or party, and he wanted to share the information. Pretty soon, his friends were forwarding the information onto their friends. Jeff would be at a party, and someone would mention his email list, and then a handful of people would ask if they, too, could be added to the list. This “list” soon became well known, and organizers of events and seminars started offering discounts to Jeff’s friends if he’d send out their notices, because once out on Jeff’s network, a good turnout was certain.

Jeff eventually ended most of his email announcements with, “mention my name at the door,” or “when you RSVP, let them know you’re a friend of Jeff Gund’s.” He was able to get his name out there while allowing others to benefit from the information and the discounts. Jeff eventually started co-sponsoring events and parties, and his endorsement of any function was like gold.

For several years, Jeff personally knew the vast majority of the people on his rapidly growing list. But as it grew, it became harder and harder to know everyone—yet he endeavoured to meet as many of the others as he could. Some ended-up on the list through referrals, so it’s not surprising that several knew his name before they knew his face, like the woman he met at a party once. He struck up a conversation with her, and after a while, finally got around to introducing himself. After he said, “Hi, my name is Jeff Gund,” she proceeded to say, “No, you’re not!” It took him a while to convince her of who he truly was.

Eventually, the list grew so large and took up so much of Jeff’s time, he started charging small fees for promoting certain events. In time, he was working with unions and guilds and top industry entities to promote events, film festivals, conferences—you name it. And promoting events for others led to Jeff hosting his own events, which now feature A-list “special guests” that include producers, writers and actors from top television shows and blockbuster films, as well as execs from major studios and networks.

InfoList, now with a subscription base of 60,000, has turned into a full-time job for Jeff. He recently completed a successful Kickstarter campaign and raised enough money to take things to the next level, so he can help even more people, in more ways. The web designers are currently at work creating an updated InfoList, which promises to become a major industry portal.

The purpose of the InfoList remains to help others and to give back to the industry, as Jeff still spends a large portion of every day sorting through a tremendous amount of incoming seminar, party, casting and job notices. The only email he has ever sent out on his own behalf was when he needed to move and asked for suggestions on apartment availabilities. He has never directly asked for job leads for himself, yet work has definitely come his way as a result of his unselfish efforts. This, he was recently happy to tell me, has included a couple of truly exceptional film and TV producing opportunities on some high-profile projects, which I was extremely pleased to hear about, because if anyone deserves a fabulous opportunity, it’s Jeffrey Gund.

Jeff has always said that “networking is not about meeting the biggest person in the room, shoving a resume in their face and asking for a job— it’s about making real relationships, real friendships and actually getting to know people. Because the best opportunities will come from that. It’s about giving first, before ever asking for anything.” If you haven’t yet visited InfoList, I suggest you do so as soon as you can. Just go to infolist.com and register.

Anyone (meaning you, too) could start an email list like Marc and Jeff did within your circle of friends, co-workers and contacts, or you could find your own way to give something back and provide a valuable service to others. It just requires a commitment of time and a desire to help. And while there is a considerable amount of responsibility associated with this type of undertaking, the rewards are equally considerable. Because in addition to the new friends, sense of community, gratification at helping others and/or the connections and job leads that come from it—the effort itself exemplifies the true meaning of networking.

THE GIVING PART OF NETWORKING

No matter where you are in your career, and even if you don’t know enough people to start your own email networking list, you can always find something of yourself to give to others. If you’re a computer whiz and someone you know is having a computer problem, offer to help. If you hear of a job opening that isn’t right for you but might be right for someone else, pass on the lead. If you hear of a seminar or a networking event you think a friend or classmate might get a lot out of, forward the information or invite her to go with you to the function. If someone you’ve met on a job is moving, offer to help schlep boxes.

The best and easiest way to give in this business is to volunteer. Give as much time as you can afford, by working as an intern, volunteering at industry-related charities or events, giving a day or two a week to your local film commission office, getting involved with industry-related organizations or helping out at networking functions. Even coming to work early and staying later than expected for no additional salary is a way to give of yourself and help others. And if there are no networking organizations or film clubs where you live, start one.

This is a very comfortable way to meet people, make valuable connections and get noticed without having to utter one single word about the fact that you’re looking for work or hoping to move up in your career. Once people get to know you, like you and appreciate the time you’re putting in to help out, they’ll just naturally want to get to know you better. And as you get to know one another, and possibly become friends, what you’re looking and hoping for will become a natural part of your conversation. And once again, let me remind you that in this business in particular, people help and hire the people they know, the people they hang out with and the people they like.

Granted, giving of yourself, volunteering and helping out whenever possible is an investment in your career; but you have to do it willingly, openly and from the heart. If you do it solely for the purpose of getting what you can from others, your disingenuousness and insincerity will eventually become evident. When you willingly help others, then others are happy to help you. If they see you as selfish and only out for yourself, you won’t get far.

THE “HOW TO” PART OF NETWORKING

Every summer as my USC course winds down, I ask for suggestions as to what I could do the following summer that would make the class better. One summer, a student named Andy said that throughout the course I stressed how vital it is for them to network, stay in touch and continually meet new people, but beyond the steps needed to set up a general information meeting, I didn’t go into enough detail as to how to network. I realized Andy was right. Knowing it’s important isn’t the same as knowing how to do it. Therefore, the following section provides some useful tips on how to network.

Dealing With Shyness: I’m well aware of how painfully tough it is for some people to even show up at functions and walk into a room full of strangers. They know they should, that it could be helpful to their careers, but it’s terrifying. Every once in a while I will see someone walk into an event, find a seat in the very last row and stay there until the program is over, leaving quickly afterward, so they won’t be expected to mingle and talk to others.

I believe there are different reasons for shyness. You may have grown up without having learned certain social skills. You may, as many of us do, fear possible rejection. It could also just be part of your intrinsic personality. I used to worry much more about rejection than I do now, but I also still think of myself as a shy person. Several who know me might laugh at that remark, but teaching, standing in front of a microphone, going to functions where I don’t know anyone and just meeting new people is a continuing challenge for me. I almost didn’t get into teaching because of my dread of public speaking and for fear of what my students might think of me. Would my voice lack authority? Would I sound knowledgeable enough to convince them that I knew what I was talking about? When I turned my back on them to write on the board, would they think I had a big butt? Go ahead and laugh, but when you’re insecure, these are the kinds of things you worry about.

But I really wanted to teach, so I pushed myself to do it. And although it’s gotten easier with time, I still have my moments. I’ve read books where authorities discuss ways to conquer shyness, but I think that, for some, it’s something that can never be totally conquered, although there are definite steps one can take to make it a lot less onerous.

If it’s rejection you’re worried about, you just have to take the risk. The first step to taking control of your career is to venture out of your comfort zone. Easy to say, hard to do at first, but once you start, you’ll see. It’ll get easier, and it’ll be well worth the effort. If it’s a case of learning proper social skills, this chapter should help but there are also countless numbers of easy-to-find books and resources devoted solely to the topic. If you’re fundamentally shy, do as my brother Peter suggested to me when I had to face something difficult. He said to merely put one foot in front of the other and start walking in the right direction—that I’d get where I needed to go. No matter what the reason, in this business, interacting with others is a necessity, so there’s no hiding in a corner behind the huge potted palm plant and refusing to come out. It’ll get easier with time, and opening yourself up to new people and new experiences will truly make a difference in your career, as well as in your life. To help you get over this hump, here are suggestions for attending an event where you won’t know anyone:

• Ask the hosts if they need any help and volunteer at the event (by helping out at the sign-in table, helping with refreshments, handing out brochures, etc.). This gives you a specific job and a reason to greet and interact with others.

• Ask a friend to go with you, and once you’re there and a bit more comfortable, split up.

• Introduce yourself to the host or group organizers, who are usually more than happy to introduce you to others.

• Approach someone standing alone in the back of the room who looks as shy as you. He’ll probably be the easiest to talk to.

• Realize it’s not considered rude should you wish to approach a group of people and join in on their conversation.

• Be the first to say hello.

• Start with a smile, a warm handshake, and just say, “Hi . . . my name is _______________ .”

• It’s perfectly okay to admit you’re shy.

• Set a reasonable goal for yourself to get to know just two new people at the event.

• Try to relax and have a good time!

Body Language: When out to meet new people, your body language will let others know how approachable you are. For instance, standing in a corner with your arms folded across your chest and your eyes focused on your shoes is a good way to say, “I’d really rather be left alone!” On the other hand, open arms, a smile, direct eye contact and a warm handshake upon introduction equates to, “I’m ready and willing to meet you.” When sitting with someone, leaning back and looking bored, distracted or looking around to see if there’s someone else you’d rather be talking to tells the other person he’s not terribly interesting, and you’d rather be elsewhere. Leaning slightly forward, making direct eye contact and nodding occasionally will indicate that you’re listening and interested. Along the same lines, a friendly tone of voice goes a long way to make others feel at ease.

Preparing for Small Talk: Do some research before attending an event. One way is by reading the trade papers and catching up on the latest industry news, what movies are hot, who recently scored a five-picture deal at a certain studio, what this week’s box office numbers were. If there’s going to be a guest speaker at this event, get on the Internet and find out whatever you can about this person. If the event is sponsored by a particular organization, learn as much as you can about the group. Know what’s going on in the world. Come prepared with topics in mind.

Starting a Conversation:

• A simple “Hi, my name is _______________” is always a good way to start.

• “So what end of this crazy business are you in?”

• “Tell me a little about yourself.”

• “You look like someone I should know.”

• “We’ve never met, but I’m a big fan of your work.”

• “That speaker was terrific, wasn’t he?”

• “I’ve never seen you at any of these events before. Is this your first one?”

• “This is my first time here. Have you attended any of these seminars before?”

• “Are you a member of this organization?”

• “I’m new in town. Have you lived here long?”

• “Amazing how the latest George Clooney movie is doing. Have you seen it yet?”

• “Did you get stuck in that horrendous traffic, too?”

• “I love your outfit!”

Remembering Names: If you’re like me, you forget a person’s name within two seconds after it’s told to you. To help you remember, when introduced to someone new, repeat his name to yourself five times. Then rhyme it with something and/or think of someone else who has the same name. It’ll help if you can say his name out loud, as in, “Hi, Joe. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Communication Assets:

• Passion! Excitement!

• A warm smile and a warm handshake.

• Be sure to make eye contact.

• Start a conversation instead of waiting for someone to talk to you. Introduce the person you’ve just met to others, so she doesn’t have to do all the work herself.

• Be positive.

• Be charming.

• Be fun to be with.

• A well-groomed appearance.

• Good manners and respect for others.

• Be genuinely interested in and curious about the people you’re talking to.

• Ask questions.

• Be a good listener and encourage others to talk about themselves (most people like talking about themselves).

• Be genuine.

• Have an opinion, but respect the fact that everyone’s entitled to their own beliefs, even if they’re not beliefs or opinions you share.

• Discover common interests and experiences.

Communication Liabilities:

• A dour-looking face.

• A negative attitude.

• Taking yourself too seriously.

• Having to be the center of attention.

• Showing up in inappropriate clothing.

• Talking too loudly (or too softly).

• Talking down to someone.

• Smoking.

• Drinking too much.

• Excessive use of foul language.

• Overdoing the name-dropping.

• Bad jokes.

• Bad manners.

• Kvetching and whining. Being overly critical.

• Talking too much (or too little).

• Looking everywhere else but at the person who’s talking to you.

• Getting too familiar (physically or verbally) with someone you’ve just met.

• Having such forceful opinions that you leave no room for friendly discussion or differing views.

• Interrupting.

• Bad-mouthing or gossiping about others (you never know when the person you’re talking to could be a friend of the person you’re talking about).

• Starting every sentence with “uh,” “like,” “man,” “dude” or “you know.”

Saying Good-Bye: Whether it’s just time to go or you’re not connecting with the person you’re talking to, here are some suggestions for ending a conversation:

• “It was a pleasure meeting you. Good luck with your current project. I’ll look forward to running into you again at another one of these functions.”

• “You’ll have to excuse me, but there are a few other people I haven’t had a chance to say hello to yet.”

• “Nice talking with you, but if I don’t get out of here soon, I’ll turn into a pumpkin.”

• “Please excuse me. I have to say hello to a friend.”

• “You’ll have to excuse me. I need to get something to eat. Nice meeting you.”

If you’ve just met someone you’d like to stay in touch with, exchange cards, phone numbers and/or email addresses, and say something like:

• “I think we have a lot in common. How about getting together for lunch one day next week?”

• “I’d like to continue our conversation. Would you mind if I called you in a day or two to set up a lunch or coffee date?”

TIPS FROM HEATHER

My writer-producer-director-author-speaker-teacher-friend Heather Hale is an expert on networking. Because she’s such a wealth of valuable information, I’ve asked her to let me share a couple of her extremely helpful suggestions with you. It’s advice that makes a great deal of sense and is incredibly useful.

HH Tip #1: Not all networking is equal. You may be going to networking events, but are they the right events for you? Are they serving you well? Are you making the right connections? Make an effort to meet and network with the people who have the ability to take your career to the next level—not just with the people you work with all the time or the people who do what you do.

HH Tip #2: If meeting new people is uncomfortable for you, and you’re feeling hesitant about attending a networking event, take a friend along and work as a tag team. Split up when you get there, and have your friend introduce herself to and strike up a conversation with the person you would most like to meet. After they’ve been talking for a while, walk up to your friend, and let her introduce you. Addressing the other person, she’ll say something like, “Oh, do you know _________________ ?” (meaning you) and then possibly add a comment or two relating to what you do, a recent accomplishment of yours, why you two should get together—you get the picture. It’s a great way to meet and let someone you’d like to know, know about you, without having to do the hard part. Just be sure to repay the favor by doing the same for your friend.

WHERE TO NETWORK

Networking can happen almost anywhere, such as:

• At school

• At work (know who you’re working with, talk to everyone and stay in touch)

• At seminars and workshops

• At film festivals

• At receptions following screenings

• At industry-related conferences and trade shows

• At industry functions

• At industry-supported charity functions

• Via social media (LinkedIn groups, Twitter and other forums)

If you happen to live in Los Angeles, I recommend you get involved with groups that will best suit your needs—groups such as:

• NewFilmmakers Los Angeles

• Film Independent

• Scriptwriters Network

• One of the many Meet-Up groups (such as the LA Film & TV Meetup)

If you’re not in Los Angeles, look for industry-related groups in your area. (There are Meet-Up groups all over the country.) And if there aren’t any—start one. There are also online networking opportunities, such as Stage32.com, which brands itself as the world’s largest social network and educational hub for film, television and theater creatives.

A FEW LAST NOTES ON NETWORKING

When you meet someone you feel a connection to, exchange business cards. My friend Jenna Edwards cautions everyone not to just program someone’s name and number into your phone, because it’s too easy to forget who they are that way. Instead, when you get home that night, make some notes on the other person’s card—where you met her, the date you met, if you have something in common, if there’s something specific about her you’d like to remember (i.e. “Likes Scorsese films”) and/or when you’re going to follow-up with her.

When you meet someone you feel a connection to, before you say good-bye (and in addition to exchanging business cards), ask if he’d mind if you sent him a Facebook friend request and/or if you could connect with him via Linkedin. Social media can help you get to know someone better and faster than ever before.

It’s not easy, but if this is the business you want to be in, then you have to make networking part of your life.