Chapter
24
The Way of Prayer
In This Chapter
Praying to Jesus to reach God
Understanding Marian prayer
The guides for our prayer life
Getting past obstacles to prayer
When we finally get down to the act of praying, sometimes it’s hard to know exactly what to do. Do we have to say particular words for it to count? Do we have to be in a church? Do we have to close our eyes and clasp our hands together? Just what are the ground rules for a life of prayer? These are all legitimate questions, and we’ll address them in this chapter.
The Church teaches that prayer should not be reduced to a laundry list of spontaneous thoughts. It should be formed by Scripture and Tradition and guided by the Holy Spirit. (2650–2651)
In this chapter, we will look at how to pray to the Father, Son, and Spirit, and how to pray in communion with Mary. We will also discuss prayer guides, different ways to pray, and habits and distractions that can prevent or disturb our prayers.
Sources of Prayer
For Catholics, prayer grows out of their experience with Scripture and liturgy, and is strengthened and deepened by the virtues of faith, hope, and charity. Prayer should be a part of everyday life. (2653–2660)
Teachable Moment
God has given us a name to use in prayer: “Jesus.” Jesus is the name that “contains everything,” the Catechism says. By becoming human, Jesus, the Word Incarnate, gave us a name that we could invoke and speak, a name that at once contains God and humanity and all of our salvation. (2666)
The Church teaches that the only way to reach the Father in prayer is through Christ. That is why Catholic prayers often end with the words: “We ask this through Christ, our Lord.” That is why the Eucharistic prayer at Mass ends with “Through him, with him, in him, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, all glory and honor is yours, almighty Father, forever and ever.”
Spirit of Prayer
The Holy Spirit is considered the “Master” of prayer. It is through the Spirit that we learn to pray to Jesus, and it is the Spirit who teaches us to pray. As we discussed in Chapter 8, the Holy Spirit is God as he remains on earth among us. We cannot see the Spirit. We cannot touch the Spirit. Most of the time we cannot even understand the Spirit, but we know it when we feel it. The Spirit pulls us toward God, gives us that feeling of peace that rests in our hearts when we are focused on our creator, and helps us to walk in the way of Christ.
When Jesus ascended to his father, he sent the Spirit, the Advocate, to his disciples so they would never be alone. It makes sense, then, that when we—Jesus’ modern-day disciples—turn to God in prayer, it is the Spirit that leads the way, just as he did in the earliest days of the Church.
The Church says we should call on the Spirit daily and whenever we face important events or decisions in our lives because he is the guide God has given us while we are on earth. (2670–2672)
In Communion with Mary
Mary is an integral part of prayer life for Catholics. She is seen as the model pray-er. She said “Yes” to God, even when she was unsure of what that “Yes” would mean. She kept saying “Yes” to God, even at the foot of the cross. Even now she says “Yes” to God as she prays in the communion of the saints. The Church teaches that Jesus is the only mediator between God and humanity, the “way” of our prayers. Mary shows us the way to Jesus and is the sign of Jesus the way.
The Catechism explains that because of Mary’s “unique cooperation” with the Holy Spirit, she has a special place in Christian prayer. Marian prayers do two things: They praise God for what he has done for us through Mary, and at the same time, Marian prayers give over to Mary our worries and needs so that she may intercede for us. (2675)
Church Speak
Marian prayers are prayers to and with Mary. The most common one is the Hail Mary.
The Hail Mary is the most common Marian prayer in the Catholic Church (see Appendix C for the full text of this prayer). The Hail Mary, or Ave Maria, which begins, “Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee,” reflects the greeting of the angel Gabriel to Mary at the annunciation: “Hail, favored one! The Lord is with you.” (Luke 1:28)
Teachable Moment
The Rosary, which is a popular Catholic devotion to Mary, was developed in medieval times as a substitute for the Liturgy of the Hours. (An explanation of the Rosary is in Appendix C.) (2678)
In this prayer, which calls to mind that Mary is “blessed” among women, we ask Mary to “pray for us sinners,” trusting that she will lead us closer to her Son.
The Rhythm of Prayer
When Catholics pray, they often look to the saints as guides. The lives and prayers of the saints serve as examples for those of us still working out the kinks on earth. Because Catholics believe that the saints are with God, they are viewed as having the ability to intercede in prayer for those on earth. In other words, they go to bat for you with God. (2683)
Okay, so we have the Spirit, Mary, and the saints as prayer guides, but how do we learn to pray in the first place? The answer is from our families, the “domestic church” we talked about earlier. If the domestic church is doing its job, the family is praying together daily. The rest of our background in prayer comes from bishops, priests, deacons, religious sisters and brothers, religious education programs at parishes, prayer groups, and spiritual direction—which is one-on-one spiritual guidance. (2685–2690)
Teachable Moment
Does prayer require a church? Although church is the proper place for liturgical prayer and a place most conducive to personal prayer, it’s not the only place for prayer. At the same time, however, the Catechism insists that “a favorable place is not a matter of indifference for true prayer.” The Catechism says that if you cannot get to a church, you can create a “prayer corner” in your home with sacred images to foster a spirit of prayer. You may also want to locate a nearby monastery where you can join in the Liturgy of the Hours or pray quietly alone. Finally, there is the option of a pilgrimage, which is when you visit a sacred place, such as a shrine, in an effort to deepen your prayer life. (2691)
Vocal Prayer
Expressing yourself in prayer can be a very personal thing. There are different ways to pray, one of the most obvious being vocal prayer. The Catechism explains that through words either spoken aloud or in our minds, our “prayer takes flesh.” The most important thing to remember in vocal prayer is that it’s not enough for your lips to move; your heart must be moved as well. Words are just words unless they are accompanied by an interior attitude that transforms the exterior and physical aspect of prayer into a spiritual endeavor. The Our Father is an example of vocal prayer. (2700–2702)
Meditation
The Catechism says that meditation is a “quest” that helps us to better understand the ins and outs of our lives as Christians. Meditation can focus on Scripture, liturgical texts, and other works of spirituality, or sacred icons. Although there are many ways to meditate, a Christian must always advance “with the Holy Spirit” toward Jesus Christ. (2705–2708)
Contemplation
Contemplation is about focusing on Jesus in silence with the “gaze of faith,” the Catechism says. It is an inner prayer offered in silence. It should be frequent and grounded in the word of God with the aim of forging a union with the prayer of Jesus Christ. (2709–2719)
On the Battlefield of Prayer
Now, if you’ve ever tried to pray—whether it was vocal, meditative, or contemplative—you probably came up against some obstacles, those things that distracted you or pulled you away from your prayer. The Catechism explains that the “spiritual battle” we often encounter in our daily lives cannot be separated from the battle we experience when we try to pray.
The Enemy Within
Why is prayer so difficult? If we have the will to pray, why can’t we just quiet our minds and get the job done? Well, that’s part of the problem. We humans tend to look at everything—including prayer—as something that has to be “done.” Maybe we think we don’t have time in our busy lives, or maybe we don’t really see it as anything more than a ritual. Maybe the mysterious nature of prayer goes against the prove-it-to-me attitude we get from our modern society. Or maybe we just think we could spend our time in more profitable ways. (2726–2727)
When it comes to prayer, we need to put aside our wounded pride and our human expectations and surrender to God. The Catechism reminds us that this requires “humility, trust, and perseverance.” (2728) More than anything, however, we have to remember that it’s normal to experience difficulties when we try to pray. Even the Church’s greatest saints experienced periods of dryness, or as St. John of the Cross put it, the “dark night of the soul.” That’s part of the journey of prayer and faith. So the key is to keep from getting thrown off course or disappointed. Anything we do to improve our prayer life is worth something, whether it’s five minutes every morning, one Mass each week, or a retreat once a year.
Prayer Interferences
One of the most common interferences we encounter in prayer is plain old distraction. We may start out with our thoughts on Christ, but another thought easily meanders in, which actually “reveals to us what we are attached to.” Rather than focus on the distraction, we must continue to turn our attention back to our centers. When distractions come up in prayer, they should make us aware of what’s holding us back and strengthen our resolve to purify our hearts. (2729)
Dryness is one of the great obstacles to contemplative prayer, and it can be a disheartening experience for someone who is trying hard to connect with God. What the Catechism means by dryness is “when the heart is separated from God, with no taste for thoughts, memories, and feelings, even spiritual ones.” This is when we try to pray but we feel no connection to God. We feel alone and cut off, as if we are wandering in a spiritual desert with no shelter in sight.
When this happens, the urge might be to give up on prayer, but instead the Church teaches that we should hang on to Jesus with all our hearts and know that he will guide us out of the desert. The Catechism refers back to John 12:24, which says that “unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” We have to traverse through the dryness and allow the spiritually withered parts of ourselves die and drop away so that we can reconnect with God in a much deeper and lasting way. (2731)
Hello? Is This Thing On?
Probably one of the most common prayer complaints is that God doesn’t seem to be listening. We pray and we pray, and we beg and we beg, and nothing. Or so it seems. What this actually comes down to is our view of God. Is he our Father who knows what is good for us, or is he like a mail-order warehouse, receiving our requests and sending out shipments by overnight mail?
The Catechism notes that when we thank God or praise God, we don’t necessarily expect any immediate answer. But when we petition God for something concrete, we often expect immediate results. Our prayer must be motivated not by what we can get from God but by our desire to be closer to God and to accept his will even when it is not our will. As the old saying goes, God answers all prayers, but sometimes he answers “No.” (2735–2737)
Pray Without Ceasing
How can we possibly pray without ceasing? When would we get anything else done? The Church teaches that we can “pray constantly.” That doesn’t meant we are in church 24/7. It means that prayer is woven into the fabric of our days. Prayer is not something we seek out only during crises, but something that draws us closer to Christ whether we are standing in line at the grocery store, sitting in a meeting at the office, or kneeling at Mass in a cathedral.
The Catechism explains that prayer is a “vital necessity” and that Christian life is “inseparable” from prayer life. And so we are called to unite our prayer to our work life, our home life, all of our life. (2742–2745)
The Least You Need to Know
To have access to God the Father in prayer, Christians must go through Jesus Christ with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Catholics pray to and with the Virgin Mary because she can “show the way” to Jesus Christ, who is “the way,” and because of her unique collaboration with the Spirit.
There are three main ways to express prayer: through vocal prayer, meditation, and contemplation.
It is common to battle with obstacles to and interferences during prayer.
Christians are expected to accept God’s will and are challenged to pray without ceasing.