Laurie and Xor soon reached the little town of Bach. It was very confusing at first, because the name “Bach” appeared on everything: Bach Street, Bach Avenue, Bach Plaza—even the sidewalk was labeled sidebach. They finally found Bach Haus down Bach Way.

Laurie knocked on the enormous front door. A tall lady with frizzy white hair and an elegant coat answered. “Hello, what can I do for you?” she asked.

“Are you Eponymous Bach? I’m Laurie. I was told you can help me.”

“If I can’t help solve your problem, I can at least give it a name. Do come in and have some tea.”

The house was impressive on the outside, but on the inside it was a mess! Strange machines were shoved against the walls, cobwebs hung down from the corners, tools were scattered on the floor, and piles and piles of paper with scribbled notes were everywhere. A violin was stuffed into a flowerpot. Xor jumped out of Laurie’s pocket to hunt some insects.

“Um, so you’re a composer?” Laurie asked.

“That’s right,” said Eponymous.

“What kind of music do you compose?”

“Oh, I don’t compose music,” Eponymous said. “I Compose Ideas!”

“You compose . . . ideas? How?”

“I put little ideas together to make bigger ones. Then I put those ideas together to make bigger and bigger ones! And then I put my name on them. You shouldn’t let any ideas escape without a name,” she said. “That’s Bach’s First Law of Eponymy. I made it myself, you see.”

“Is that why all the streets are named after you?” Laurie asked.

“Yes, I used to put my name on Things. But it’s much better to have your name on an Idea. That’s my Second Law of Eponymy.”

“But why is an idea better?” Laurie asked. “You can’t see an idea.”

“Because good ideas never wear out! You put your name on a birthday cake, but it doesn’t last very long, does it?”

“No. You eat it right away,” Laurie said. Birthday cakes don’t last long at all!

“You can also put your name on a mountain,” said Eponymous. “But even a mountain falls down eventually. It makes a terrible noise, too! No, the best way to make something last forever is to take away everything but the ideas.” She pointed to a portrait of a man with curly hair and a funny coat. “Look over there,” she said.

“That’s my friend Andy Ampère. One day, he noticed that when he put electricity through two wires, they would bend a little toward each other. So he called it Andy’s Magical Wire Bender, and he went around selling it to people who make paper clips.”

“That’s pretty neat!” said Laurie.

“Yes, but I told Andy to keep going, to take away all of the Things until he had an Idea worth putting his name on. He realized he could use his machine to measure electricity by looking at how much the wires bent. That was truly new—a new law of nature. Nobody uses Andy’s Magical Wire Bender anymore, but Ampère’s Law will always be current.”

“But why do you put your name on everything?”

“Names are very important! A thing without a name is like a pot without a handle. Just try telling a story about turtles without using the word turtle.”

“Well,” said Laurie, always ready to argue a point, “you could say a Green Round animal with a Shell instead of turtle.”

“Hrmph,” Eponymous hrmphed, “That’s not a very easy name, but I suppose it will do. So how can I help you, child?”

“I’m looking for a path back to Hamilton. The Wandering Salesman said I just have to go everywhere I’ve never been before, and eventually I’ll find my way home. But . . .”

“But what, dear?”

“I don’t know, something about what he said doesn’t make sense.”

“It might make sense, but it may not be sensible,” said Eponymous.

“Isn’t that the same thing?” asked Laurie.

“Many things make sense but are not sensible at all! You can go from the front door to the back door by walking through the house, right?”

“Sure.”

“You can also walk around the outside of the house, or even all the way around the planet, to do the same thing. Many ways make sense, but only some are sensible.”

“Then I want to find a sensible way,” said Laurie. “I don’t want to walk all around the planet!”

“So,” Eponymous said, “we have named and framed your problem: Laurie’s Quest is to find the shortest path home.”

“But how do I do that?” asked Laurie. “Is it difficult?”

“You’ll never know unless you try. The next town up the road is called Symbol. Have you been there before?”

“No, I’ve never even heard of it.”

“Then it sounds perfect. Just follow Bach Avenue out of town, and take a left at Recursion Junction.”

“That’s great!” said Laurie. “Xor, let’s go. Oh, that’s right,” she remembered. “Do you know anything about how to find Steganosauruses?”

Eponymous smiled. “Who’s been telling you stories like that, my dear girl? Steganosauruses don’t exist.”