One of the essential skills of a master negotiator is the ability to read people in order to recognize their needs and anticipate their next move based on what they crave to achieve. The way a person behaves, both consciously and unconsciously, is very revealing. Decoding the real message behind their verbal and nonverbal communication is a valuable source of information, which can then be used as a powerful tool of influence. Sooner or later, we will all have to face a negotiation that may be life-changing for us, whether in a professional or personal setting. Its outcome will depend on how well we have trained ourselves in the art of negotiation. Practice makes perfect. It is, thus, helpful to develop the necessary skills on a continuous basis and not just ad hoc when we need to prepare for an upcoming negotiation.
If we are to trust the maxim: “We are what we do,” then our choice of profession determines who we are and ultimately shapes how we view the world and how others perceive us. As a consequence of my professional occupation, people-watching has become somewhat of a full-time hobby for me. It is also an engaging pastime during the long hours of my travel in between the negotiation trainings and lectures I give around the globe. One of my most inspiring professors once said that life is a theater. He was not wrong. Only the setting changes, the actors are pretty much the same, no matter the geographical location. What strikes the most is the overwhelming level of estrangement from interactions with other people. Most people seem engaged in a relationship with their cell phones or computers, and themselves. Everyone is preoccupied with checking e-mails, chatting online, or whatever else activity they can think of with the use of the Internet. What people lack in interpersonal relations they compensate for with concentration on themselves.
Acts of self-admiration seem a sign of our times. I have frequently witnessed people acting like hermits among others, but at the same time, fully devoted to taking pictures of themselves—the so-called selfies. These selfies are then posted on Instagram, Facebook, or any other social network and shared with the rest of the world. It is as if people suddenly become online exhibitionists. The development of technology has created a kingdom where the ego can live and strive. As I pondered about all this, the term selfie generation came to my mind. It depicts a generation of self-oriented individuals governed by the need to exhibit their lifestyle, social status, achievements, activities, and ultimately, to feed their egos. Their distinguishing insignia is a selfie stick.
How does this self-concentration translate into modern business practice, specifically what are the implications for negotiations? More importantly, how can it be directed toward more productive aims? The spotlight on the self is not necessarily a bad thing, depending on where its beam is directed. In fact, the I-focus can be approached as a source of self- discovery and self-empowerment that may reinforce the relations with other people. More importantly, it shows us that success in any professional or personal endeavor starts not with technical prowess, but rather the human element.
To successfully conclude a business transaction, negotiation skills and tactics are often not enough. The importance of self-management, effective interpersonal communication, perception management, persuasion tactics, and reading others are the critical skills in boosting your negotiation power. If you enter a negotiation with fear, self-doubt, or lack of conviction, you will not win, no matter how well tactically you have been trained.
Negotiation Booster will equip you with the self-management toolkit that will allow you to tame emotions, ego, and stress in a negotiation. It will help you develop strategies for thriving in negotiations by means of directional self-management and personal empowerment. Consequently, I am addressing it to all those whose emotions, stress, and ego have gotten in the way of successful deal-making and for those who have to negotiate with people whose self is larger than life, or the so often called difficult people.