5 Adolescents in Divorced and Separated Families
In previous chapters we have explored the importance of communication and relationships between family members for adolescents’ adjustment. In this chapter we look at the impact for adolescents when family relationships break down. Although the number of divorces has been gradually decreasing, many children and adolescents will still experience the divorce of their parents and live, at least part of their childhood, with one parent or with a parent and a step-parent. According to U.S. Census data, the divorce rate in 2005 was 3.6 per 1000 population, the lowest rate since 1970, but the marriage rate was also lower because of the number of couples choosing to cohabit rather than marry (8.1% of coupled households in 2005). In addition, only about 63% of children grow up in a family with both their parents.
The statistics for Australia are similar, with the divorce rate decreasing by 6% between 2006 and 2007 to 2.3 per 1000 of population. Although a number of couples cohabit rather than marry, the marriage rate has increased slightly since 2001 (Cardwell, 2008). Around 50% of divorces involve children, indicating that many children and adolescents will experience the divorce of their parents and live in single-parent families for at least some part of their childhood and/or adolescence. These divorce trends have major implications for families and the adolescents who live in those families.
Wikipedia has published divorce rates around the world in 2007 in terms of the percentage of couples divorcing. According to these data, Sweden and USA have the highest percentages of couples divorcing at almost 55 percent, the UK has 42.6 percent, Germany 39.4 percent, The Netherlands 38.3 percent, Poland and Singapore 17.2 percent, Italy 10 percent, Turkey 6 percent and India has the lowest percentage at 1.1 percent. Of course, many of these divorces would also involve children and adolescents.
Hartman, Magalhaes and Mandich (2011) conducted a scoping study of the North American research on the implications of parental divorce and separation (PDMS) on adolescents. Their review covered seven themes: academic performance, deviant behaviour, romantic or sexual relationships, psychosocial well being, the quality of the parent-adolescent relationship and the level of coping of the adolescent. The authors found that this adolescent population was seen as highly prone to develop problematic behaviours.
In this review academic performance was found to decline in separated and divorced families, with the decrease in performance being higher in less stable families (that is, those who had more family transitions or changes in family arrangements; King & Sobolewski, 2006; Menning, 2006; Sun & Li, 2009b). There was also evidence that the decline was less when parental involvement with adolescents was high (Jeynes, 2005) and there were siblings in the family (Sun & Li, 2009a).
In terms of deviant behaviour, it seemed clear that increases in such behaviours were due to environmental factors surrounding the divorce such as the quality of the parent-adolescent relationship and the level of monitoring of the adolescent’s behaviour (Burt, Barnes, McGue, & Iacono, 2008). On the other hand, in families where the parents or adolescents participated in intervention programs, adolescents engaged in lower levels of deviant behaviour even when they had previously been categorized as at high risk for deviant behaviour (Dawson-McClure et al., 2004).
With regard to the adolescents’ own romantic relationships, the future did not seem bright. For example, PDMS adolescents tended to have more negative attitudes than other adolescents to marriage and sexuality (Dennison & Koerner, 2006) and held more permissive attitudes to premarital sex (Jeynes, 2005). There was also evidence that attempts at conflict resolution in PDMS families was less effective than in other families, leading to more problems in resolving conflict in the adolescents’ own romantic relationships (Reese-Weber & Kahn, 2005).
There was also a lot of evidence of decreased psychosocial well-being in PDMS families in this survey. Anxiety increased (T.D. Afifi, Afifi, Morse & Hamrick, 2008) as did depression (Ge et al., 2006) and general internalizing and externalizing disorders (Roustit et al., 2007). Suicides were also more likely to occur in PDMS families (Gould, Shaffer, Fisher & Garfinkel, 1998). Significantly, there was evidence that psychosocial well-being was particularly sensitive to parents’ inappropriate disclosure about the other parent or the relationship. (See later section).
Studies focused on the parent-adolescent relationship indicated that following separation or divorce, the quality of family functioning decreased (Mandara & Murray, 2000) children increasingly felt caught between their parents (T. D. Afifi et al., 2008), were more dissatisfied with their lives and experienced decreased feelings of well being (T.D. Afifi et al., 2007). In addition, relationships with both parents tended to decline in quality (Kenyon & Koerner, 2008; Koerner et al., 2002).
There is evidence also for decreased coping ability in adolescents in PDMS families, with adolescents using ineffective coping strategies such as drug-taking or engaging in other deviant behaviours (Neher & Short, 1998) or the ultimate form of ineffective coping: suicide (Gould et al., 1998). The good news is that coping can be improved through intervention programs such as that of Dawson-McClure et al. (2004).
In a different study involving Israeli families, Hamama and Ronen-Shenhav (2012) compared adolescents from two-parent families and divorced families in terms of both internalizing and externalizing symptoms. Parental divorce was not related to higher levels of externalizing symptoms such as aggression, but was associated with higher levels of angry feelings and hostile thoughts. Those with high levels of self-control engaged in less aggressive behaviour.
Similarly, in a study of Dutch families (Jaspers et al., 2012), predictors of emotional problems in girls included having language and speech problems and having divorced or single parents and having parents with a low level of education. For boys, on the other hand, divorce was not a significant predictor of emotional problems. In addition, divorce did not predict behavioural problems in boys or girls.
A study of family transitions was carried out in Finland (Frojd, Marttunen, & Kaltiala-Heino, 2012) where adolescents who had a change in their family situation such as divorce or separation when they were aged 15 or 16 years were followed up two years later. Those who had a change in their caretaker at the earlier time had higher levels of internalizing problems such as depression and psychosomatic symptoms when they were 17 or 18 years old than adolescents who did not experience such a change in their family structure.
5.1 Residential Arrangements and Adjustment Following Divorce
5.1.1 Residential arrangements
Following divorce, there are three major types of residential arrangements used by families including those with an adolescent: living with mother, living with father, or dual residence where the adolescent spends a relatively equal time with each parent (Buchanan, Maccoby, & Dornbusch, 1996). These authors point out that dual residence arrangements have had both supporters and detractors. Supporters focus on the benefits to the children of not ‘losing’ either parent, whereas detractors tend to focus on the problems for young people of moving continually between two residences and not really having a stable family life. These adolescents also need to be very organized, making sure that they have the things they need for school and other activities at the right residence at the right time. In some ways, more is expected of these adolescents than some adults would be capable of dealing with effectively.
5.1.2 Shifting of Residences
One important aspect of post-divorce arrangements in families with adolescents is the considerable shifting of residences (Buchanan et al., 1996). In their study these authors found that almost a third of the sample had moved from one residential arrangement to another over a four-and a-half-year period following their parents’ divorce. These researchers also found only very small differences in adolescent adjustment among those in the three common residential arrangements, although they emphasize that many families put a lot of effort into making sure that the adolescents were in an arrangement that was highly supportive of them and that suited the family’s circumstances at that time.
Adolescents were asked to provide reasons for moving between residences. Some relocation was because of parents moving, and generally involved the adolescents moving in with their mothers. Some adolescents asked to move into dual residence because they were missing the non-residential parent. Some moved to living with their fathers but this relocation was generally related to conflict in the family. As Buchanan et al. (1996) comment, “Moves into mother or dual residence occur for more benign or positive reasons than moves into father custody” (p.255). It seems that fathers were probably required to deal with more troubled adolescents who were not coping well and who had difficulty adapting to other types of residential arrangements. It is interesting to note that those adolescents who had one or more changes in residence since the divorce and who were currently living with their fathers were the least well-adjusted adolescents in the study. In particular, in this study, inter-parental conflict was more strongly associated with adjustment and well-being for adolescents who lived with their fathers than for those in other living arrangements, although it was not clear why this would be so.
5.2 Communication About the Divorce
As noted in Chapter 4, the importance of communication in families cannot be under-estimated, and communication between parents, and between parents and their offspring, may be even more important during and after separation and divorce than at any other time. For example, parents’ communication competence and their children’s feelings of being caught between their parents are related to adolescents’ dissatisfaction with their post-divorce families, particularly in families where conflict between parents is high (Afifi & Schrodt, 2003).
5.2.1 Inappropriate Disclosures by Parents
Adolescents often have difficulty with what one parent tells them about the other parent, or about the separation and divorce (Koerner, Wallace, Lehman, & Raymond, 2002). Adolescent daughters in this study were particularly distressed by their mothers’ detailed disclosures about financial problems, negative characteristics of their ex-husbands (the adolescents’ fathers), employment issues and personal problems. These types of disclosures particularly affected adolescent daughters who, irrespective of their age, worried a lot about their mothers. It is interesting to note that they did not feel closer to their mothers as a consequence of such disclosures. Adolescents used as confidants by their parents may feel burdened and overwhelmed, and may become psychologically distressed or engage in problematic behaviour (Koerner, Jacobs, & Raymond, 2000).
Why might parents disclose inappropriate details about their relationship with their ex-husband and the divorce process to their adolescents? According to a study by Afifi and her colleagues (Afifi, McManus, Hutchinson, & Baker, 2007), the main reason centres on the parents’ feelings of having little or no control over the divorce process. Parents did not disclose to their children because they had no-one else to confide in, but disclosed to them even when they had other family members and friends that they could talk with about what they were going through.
In another study, mothers reported that they made negative comments about their ex-husbands in order to change their daughters’ views about their fathers, and about the divorce and who was to blame for their current situation (Koerner, et al., 2000). These mothers seem to be trying to make their partners seem more responsible for the breakup and themselves less responsible in the eyes of their daughters. It is also possible that parents may disclose to their adolescents, even though they are aware that such disclosures are inappropriate, in order to reduce their children’s uncertainty about what is happening to the family (Afifi, et al., 2007).
According to research, the level of stressful conflict between the parents seems to affect the extent to which parents disclose inappropriate information to their offspring about the divorce process (Afifi et al., 2007). The high level of conflict and the anger parents experience as a result may reduce the parent’s awareness of the inappropriateness of talking about their problems with their adolescent. In support of this suggestion, parents who had a less conflicted relationship with their former spouse were more upset by their inappropriate disclosures to their offspring than was true for those who had a highly conflicted relationship with their former spouse. Perhaps these latter parents are so angry that they feel justified in criticising their former partner to their adolescents, or alternatively, their level of communication skill may be so poor at this stage because of their level of stress that they don’t even realise that their disclosures are inappropriate (Amato, & DeBoer, 2001) and could even harm their children and/or their relationships with their children.
5.3 Conflict and Children’s Adjustment Following Divorce
According to Amato and Keith (1991), the level of family conflict is the factor most likely to have a negative impact on the children (and adolescents) of divorce. Amato (2000) argues that any factor that creates stress is likely to increase the negative effects of divorce for young people, and conflict, especially between parents, certainly seems to be an important stressor. If the young people have good coping skills and confidence in their ability to deal with the problems, however, and live in a supportive family environment, they are less likely to experience negative consequences.
5.3.1 Conflict and Adjustment
In the Buchanan et al. (1996) study, the adolescents’ perceptions of conflict between their parents were more clearly related to their adjustment than were parents’ reports of conflict. Of course, it is possible that parents were not really prepared to admit the true levels of their conflict. Alternatively, we know that adolescents tend to have a fairly negative view of their family relationships (Noller & Callan, 1986; Noller, Seth-Smith, Bouma & Schweitzer, 1992). Adolescents’ criticism of the family may be higher than that of parents because they don’t have the same level of investment in the family and are consciously, or more likely unconsciously, preparing themselves for the time when they will need to leave the family (Bengtson & Troll, 1978).
Adolescents in the Buchanan et al. (1996) study who lived in dual residence arrangements were more likely to be affected by inter-parental conflict than were other adolescents, and more likely to feel caught between their parents. This situation may occur because of the need for more contact between the parents as the adolescents move so regularly between homes. Adolescents actually report that the times when they were moving between homes provided an opportunity for parents to engage in conflict with one another (Noller, Feeney, Sheehan, Darlington & Rogers, 2008).
The work of Afifi (2003) supports the view that conflict between parents is a particularly serious problem when children are involved, and those children become confidants of one parent. She found that, in this situation, offspring were most likely to experience loyalty conflicts and feelings of being caught between their parents. On a more positive note, when parents were not involved in a lot of conflict, dual-residence adolescents were the group least likely to feel caught between their parents. These researchers suggest that the benefits of being able to maintain good relationships with both parents may make it easier for adolescents in dual-residence arrangements to cope effectively with conflict and loyalty problems.
Feelings of being caught between parents tended to increase with age in this sample suggesting that adolescents may find it harder to avoid getting caught up in inter-parental conflict as they get older. Perhaps parents are more likely to confide their reactions to negative behaviour by their former spouse to older adolescents than to younger ones. As Afifi (2003) notes, offspring of separated and divorced parents may want to become involved in negotiating between their parents because of their love for them, but also fear the problems and stress that may be caused by trying to be loyal to both of them (Buchanan, Maccoby & Dornbusch, 1991).
In an Australian study focusing on conflict in families of divorce (Noller et al., 2008), the researchers found that conflict was higher in the separated/divorced families than in the married families across three different relationships: the relationship between the separated/divorcing parents, the adolescent’s relationship with their resident parent, and their relationship with their closest sibling. When families were compared according to whether they were continuously married or separated/divorced and according to the level of conflict they reported in the family, the highest levels of problems occurred for the separated/divorcing families who were also high in conflict. Adolescents in these families reported the lowest levels of psychological adjustment as measured in terms of depression, anxiety and self-esteem. Hence it is not just divorce that has an effect on young people but the levels of ongoing conflict in the family particularly between their parents.
In another study of adolescent adjustment following family transitions (Ruschena, Prior, Sanson & Smart, 2005), the Australian researchers compared 17 to 18 year olds who had been through a family transition such as parental separation or divorce, remarriage or the death of a parent and a group who had not been through any transitions and who still lived with their parents. Analyses showed that those adolescents in the transition group reported a lower quality relationship with the reporting parent than those in the comparison intact families and also reported lower levels of parent and teen attachment.
The measure used in the Ruschena et al. (2005) study, The Inventory of Parent Attachment (Armsden & Greenberg, 1987) assessed aspects of the parent-adolescent relationship such as communication, feelings of alienation from the parent and trust of the parent. Parents in the transition group reported more conflict with their adolescents than parents in the group that had not experienced a transition. It is important to note that in this study, no differences were found for emotional or behavioural adjustment or for academic outcomes or social competence, despite the fact that many studies do show such differences. In addition, at least some of the transitions included were those that can happen to anyone, including moving house so that the difference between the transition group and the comparison group may not have been so clear. In addition, there was a considerable time lag between the identified transitions as adolescents were not assessed until they were 17 or 18 years of age, whereas the mean age of transition was around 11 years.
5.3.2 Sex Differences in Reactions to Conflict
Although Noller et al. (2008) were not able to compare boys and girls in their research, according to the Buchanan et al. (1996) study, boys seemed to react to inter-parental conflict more than girls, and boys’ adjustment was more likely to be affected than was true for girls. Boys in high conflict families were more likely to be depressed than those in low conflict families and more likely to engage in problematic behaviours such as those discussed in Chapter 6.
There is also evidence (Simons, Lin, Gordon, Conger, & Lorenz, 1999) that different aspects of family life affect the reactions of boys and girls to divorce. Boys’ delinquency tended to be related to the parenting they received whereas girls’ delinquency was more strongly related to conflict following divorce along with their mothers’ parenting. Further, problems such as depression and anxiety were also related to different factors in boys and girls. Divorce tended to be the main factor related to adjustment problems in males, whereas girls’ adjustment was related to mothers’ parenting and mothers’ depression.
5.3.3 What Adolescents Say About Their Parents’ Conflict
As part of the Noller et al. (2008) study adolescents were interviewed about the conflict in the family. With regard to conflict between their parents after the separation, some adolescents reported a decrease from what was occurring before the divorce, but many reported ongoing conflict, particularly when young people were picked up for visits with the non-resident parent. Some adolescents also claimed that their parents didn’t communicate at all at such times, because any communication tended to end in an argument. Although some adolescents reported that conflict with their parents decreased following the divorce, for many their hopes for peace were often not fulfilled.
Phones were also very important, with many adolescents reporting arguments between their parents on the phone. They reported that parents screamed at each other over the phone, argued for hours on the phone, and one young man claimed that his parents “basically turned into little kids just calling each other names and stuff” (Noller et al., 2008, p.15). A lot of the arguments were about the children and money, with parents arguing about who should pay for what for their children. It is possible that this negative use of the phone could result in non-resident parents being less willing to ring their children between visits, in case their former spouse answered the phone and another argument ensued. Such a situation would be sad for the children.
Another source of conflict was the actual making of arrangements for contact visits. According to the adolescents, fathers in particular wanted fairly rigid arrangements such as every second weekend, whereas they themselves wanted more flexible arrangements so that they could spend more time with their friends and in their own activities. It makes sense that just as many adolescents in intact families like to spend their weekends doing things with their friends, children from divorcing families will also want to spend time with their friends rather than with their non-resident parent.
Gattins, Kinlaw and Dunlap (2013) asked a sample of middle and high school students in the USA about the impact of their parents’ relationship on them. Some of these families were living together or married and some were divorced or separated. Adolescents from the separated/divorced families tended to rate their parents’ co-parenting behaviours more negatively than other adolescents. They saw their parents as competing with each other for the adolescent’s attention and wanting them to favour one parent over the other. They also disagreed more than other adolescents that their parents were working together in bringing them up. Middle school students tended to be more positive about their parents and their co-parenting than were high school students, but there were no differences between boys and girls.
5.4 Long term Effects of Divorce on Adjustment
Researchers in the US (Uphold-Carrier & Utz, 2012) used a sample of middle-aged individuals, who had experienced the divorce of their parents, to explore the effects of parental divorce either as a child or as an adult on mental health. Both groups were more likely to become depressed than those whose parents remained married and both experienced lower levels of family solidarity. These researchers showed that the elevated depression levels for those who experienced the divorce of their parents as children were longer lasting than for those whose parents divorced when they were adults. These family members also experienced lower levels of family solidarity during mid-life as well as when they were older. Upholder-Carrier and Utz suggest that the participants’ own marital history, affected by the parental divorce, is the mediator of the link between that divorce when they were children and their current levels of depression.
5.5 Conflict, the Legal System and Adjustment
In another study (Bing, Nelson & Wesolowski, 2009) a different measure of conflict was used. These researchers assessed level of conflict in terms of the amount of involvement the families had with the court system. It makes sense that, in families where there are higher levels of conflict and aggression, parents will more likely be involved in higher levels of litigation, although some families are likely to be keener on being involved in litigation than others. Those engaged in the lowest levels of litigation reported less conflict and family dysfunction, better coping ability on the part of their children, and a more positive resolution of the divorce than was true for those involved in higher levels of litigation. These findings fit with much current literature showing that children experiencing high levels of conflict before and after the divorce will tend to have lower levels of psychological adjustment following the divorce (Hetherington, & Stanley-Hagan, 1999; Noller et al., 2008; Oppawsky, 2000).
5.6 Shared Family Time and Family Resilience Following Divorce
Resilience is about the extent to which people, including adolescents, have learned to successfully manage difficulties as they arise (Peters, Leadbeater, & McMahon, 2005) as well as their potential for growth as a result of dealing with problems (Walsh, 2002) (see also Chapter 8 where we focus on resilience in a more general way). There is some evidence that certain aspects of family life such as family management practices and family solidarity and support can promote resilience in family members when dealing with adverse situations such as divorce (Furstenberg, Cook, Eccles, Elder, & Sameroff, 1999; Larson, Dworkin, & Gillman, 2001).
Walsh (2002) claimed that family resilience is a consequence of positive family functioning in three broad domains: Beliefs (seeing the problem as meaningful, having a positive outlook, and a spiritual focus), organizational patterns (being flexible, having strong connections with each other, and having adequate social and economic resources), and communication processes (being clear in communication, being open in sharing emotions and working together to solve problems). She suggested that those families that would do well following divorce were those that were aware of their strengths as a family, saw each other as trustworthy and could work together to deal with the situation. Other important factors that promote resilience following divorce include emotional support between family members, family sharing of household tasks and hobbies, and working together as a family to solve problems (Doyle, Wolchik, Dawson-McClure & Sandler, 2003; Greeff & Van Der Merwe, 2004; Kelly & Emery, 2003). (See Table 5.1)
Table 5.1: Factors Promoting Resilience in Family Members
| Domains of Family Functioning | Processes |
|---|---|
| Beliefs | Seeing problem as meaningful Positive outlook Spiritual focus |
| Organizational patterns | Being flexible Strong connections with each other Adequate social and economic resources |
| Communication processes | Clear communication Open in sharing emotions Working together to solve problems |
Hutchinson, Afifi & Krause (2007) studied families who had experienced divorce, and explored, through interviews, the links between shared family time and the resilience of family members. These researchers showed that shared family time and activities were critical to post-divorce families in terms of helping them to develop new family processes and structures. They found that when family members spent time together in a mutually enjoyable activity, not only was positive mood enhanced but members began to believe that they could overcome their problems by working together. There was also evidence that family involvement in leisure activities tends to increase cohesion and adaptability in the family, and to increase satisfaction with family life (Zabriskie & McCormick, 2001, 2003). The families in the Hutchinson et al. study talked about “the importance of their home - and the shared space within that home – to create a sense of belonging and comfort, both of which were perceived as important to being part of a family” (p.40).
5.7 Racial and Ethnic Differences in Experiencing Parents’ Marital Disruption
In a large American study of adolescents who had experienced the separation or divorce of their parents during late adolescence, comparisons were made between different ethnic groups living in that country (Sun & Li, 2007). These researchers found evidence of greater maladjustment among adolescents from European, Asian and African American groups than was true for their Hispanic American counterparts both before and after the separation. They argue that Hispanic American young people are less affected by the disruption of their family life because they are already disadvantaged in a number of ways and the breakdown of their parents’ marriage adds little disadvantage over what they are already experiencing.
These researchers suggest that while the Hispanic adolescents tend to be disadvantaged in terms of family social resources, African American adolescents tend to be disadvantaged in terms of financial and human resources (such as the educational resources of their parents). Asian Americans, on the other hand, are more likely to enjoy an overall high level of both types of resources. European Americans can experience disadvantage in terms of both types of resources. The effects on young people in the Non-Hispanic groups tended to be because of the level of dysfunction of the family before the divorce.
5.8 Adolescents’ Management of Relationships with Divorced Parents
There is an assumption in much literature on adolescents from divorced families, that they are passive victims of their parents’ marital disruption, and that any attempts by them to take some control of their situation should be seen as problematic (Menning, 2008). Yet adolescents frequently want to have influence in decisions such as where they live and whether or how often they visit their non-resident parent (Moxnes, 2003). These adolescents tend to find such participation in decision-making positive and empowering (Menning (2008). Hence it may be unhelpful to consider decision-making by adolescents after divorce as necessarily problematic (Smith, Taylor, & Tapp, 2003). According to these researchers, it is normal for children of divorce “to express strong feelings about contact with parents who are sources of anger and hurt” (p.613).
If adolescents resist contact with their non-resident parent, for example, that behaviour is likely to be seen as rebellious or difficult (Kelly, & Johnston, 2001). These authors argue that adolescents can refuse contact with non-resident parents for a range of sensible and appropriate reasons such as being unhappy with that parent’s style of parenting, changes in household structure such as the establishment of a defacto relationship or remarriage, or because contact creates an opportunity for more parental conflict (Noller et al., 2008).
5.8.1 Negative Evaluations
Menning (2008) interviewed adolescents about how they managed relationships with their non-resident parents and found that they tended to have negative evaluations of those parents and to use those negative views to explain how and why they needed to manage their relationships with a particular parent. They focused on a range of parental behaviours that they considered negative, including parents’ tendency to overreact or respond with inappropriate harshness to some kinds of information such as a failure at school, behaving in ways that didn’t fit with the adolescents’ values, having poor listening skills, lacking expertise in areas the adolescent wanted help with such as in academic areas, and having mental health problems. These researchers also found that adolescents used various strategies to deal with these ‘problem’ behaviours of parents.
5.8.2 Controlling Information
Sometimes the adolescents would refuse to give their non-resident parent information that they thought might cause the parent to ‘overreact’, or alternatively, they might resort to telling them as little as possible. In fact, they would often use the split household to their advantage, and give one parent information but not the other. In this way, they avoided possible strong negative reactions, and were still able to enjoy the financial and other benefits provided by their non-resident parent as well as the leisure activities that they engaged in together (Menning, 2008).
The adolescents were also able to control the image of themselves that was revealed to their non-resident parents, keeping it as positive as possible. Some adolescents even worked at minimizing the influence their non-resident parent could have on their education by arranging, using the bureaucratic rules of their schools, that report cards not be sent to that parent. By using such strategies, adolescents increased their sense of autonomy and individuation, an important aspect of adolescent development as we saw in Chapter 2. It could be argued, of course that keeping such information from a particular parent may not be in the best interests of the parent or the family.
5.8.3 Controlling Visitation
Because adolescents in these split households are able to place conditions on when they see their non-resident parent, they are able to control being with their non-resident parent in ways that are not possible for adolescents who live in a household with both their parents. They can also increase and decrease contact with parents by changing residence. This strategy means that they can avoid discipline and control from one parent and live with the parent they think will give them the easiest time. If that parent argues with the adolescent and tries to exert some control, they can change household again. Menning (2008) interviewed a 15-year old male who had changed his residence six times, continually going from one parent to the other in line with his perception that he would be better off. Of course, being able to switch households depends on the willingness of the parents to allow that. Unfortunately, a parent refusing to allow an adolescent to move in with them, for whatever reason, is likely to be seen as a rejection by the young person and add to the pain they are already experiencing as a result of the disruption to their family.
Adolescents can also decide not to have contact with their non-resident parents, because of their assessment of the negative traits of the parent or because they believe that parent is trying to manipulate them. Parents (mainly fathers) may also cut off contact with their children for a range of reasons such as finding that obligations to their new family leave them with little or no time for their older children, or because they believe that they are being excluded from their children’s lives (Clark & McKenry, 1997, as cited in Lamb, 1999) or if they see themselves as having little control over their children’s upbringing (Braver, & Griffin, 2000).
5.9 Children’s Perceptions of Their Sibling Relationships Following Divorce
An important question with regard to divorce and sibling relationships concerns the extent to which siblings rely on each other at stressful times such as when there is a lot of conflict in the family or when parents are divorcing. Do siblings support and help each other during such trying times, compensating one another for the love and care they are not receiving from their parents at this time, or do they engage in a lot of conflict like their parents?
5.9.1 Hostility and Warmth in Sibling Relationships
Researchers have shown that sibling relationships in adolescence can be compared on two dimensions: hostility and warmth (McGuire, McHale & Updegraff, 1996), suggesting four types of sibling relationships. Sibling relationships can be high on warmth and low on hostility (harmonious), low on warmth and high on hostility (hostile), high on both warmth and hostility (affect-intense) and low on both warmth and hostility (uninvolved). Sheehan, Darlington, Noller and Feeney (2004) compared adolescents in divorced or separated families with those in continuously married families in terms of these types of relationships and found that sibling relationships in the divorced/separated families tended to be more affect-intense or high on both warmth and hostility than was true for their counterparts from continuously married families. In addition, adolescents in the separated/divorcing families reported higher levels of hostility in their sibling relationships than those in continuously married families. This finding is likely to be related to the destructive conflict between their parents (Noller, Feeney, Peterson, & Sheehan, 1995) that can lead to hostile parenting (Brody, 1998). (see Table 5.2)
Table 5.2: Types of Sibling Relationships
| Sibling Hostility | Sibling Warmth | |
|---|---|---|
| High | Low | |
| High | Affect-intense | Hostile |
| Low | Harmonious | Uninvolved |
5.9.2 Explaining Affect-Intense Relationships
Because these researchers carried out interviews with the adolescents, they were able to get some insight into how these two different aspects of relationships could exist together in these sibling relationships. They showed that the positive aspect of adolescents’ sibling relationships involved the care and comfort that they provided to one another and the ways they worked together in resolving conflict and in dealing with the conflict between their parents. The negative aspect of those relationships involved younger siblings tending to resent the care and comfort they received from their older sibling, seeing these behaviours as attempts to dominate them. They thought that their siblings tended to become overprotective in trying to spare them the distress resulting from the conflict between their parents (Brody, 1998).
5.10 Parental Divorce and Adolescent Problem Behaviour
There is evidence for modest differences between young people in divorced versus continuously married families in terms of their involvement in delinquent activities, with those from divorced families being more likely to engage in antisocial activities (Amato & Keith, 1991, 2001; Hetherington, Bridges & Insabella, 1998). Although some have argued that this difference would decrease as divorce became more socially acceptable, the differences actually seem to have increased (Amato, 2001; D’Onofrio, 2005).
Drunkenness, a particular problem behaviour in adolescents, was linked with parental divorce in a Slovakian study (Tomcikova, Geckova, Reijneveld & van Dijk, 2011). Those with divorced parents were more likely to have been drunk in the previous month, except for those who had strong positive feelings towards their fathers. These researchers suggest that positive involvement with the father following divorce should be encouraged as a protective factor against drunkenness in adolescents.
Adolescents from divorced and remarried families are more likely than those from stable families to leave school early, to be unemployed, to become involved in sexual relationships at an earlier age and to have children while still teenagers, to associate with delinquent peers and become involved in their activities (Burt et al., 2008; Demo & Acock, 1996; D’Onofrio et al., 2005, 2006, 2007; Elder & Russell, 1996; Hetherington et al., 1998; Whitbeck, Simons & Goldberg, 1996) and these problems are apparent across a range of ethnic groups (Amato & Keith, 1991). According to Whitbeck et al., it seems likely that lack of parental control by mothers who have been through divorce increases the likelihood of adolescents becoming involved in sexual activity at an early age. (see Table 5.3). The apparent lack of control is likely to be related to the emotional state of the mother during this time as well as the fact that parenting alone is a difficult task. Adolescent problem behaviour is discussed in more detail in Chapter 6.
Table 5.3: Divorce and Offspring Issues
| Possible Adolescent Outcomes of Divorce of Parents |
|---|
| High levels of anxiety and depression |
| Depression into adulthood, particularly for girls |
| Higher levels of antisocial behaviour |
| Delinquency and associating with delinquent peers |
| Drug abuse |
| Leave school early |
| Unemployment |
| Early sexual relationships and pregnancy |
5.10.1 Divorce-Proneness and Adolescent Problem Behaviour
Based on findings that when marital conflict increases because of adolescent problem behaviour there are corresponding changes in parents’ marital satisfaction (Cui & Donnellan, 2009), Moore and Buehler (2011) assessed the link between divorce-proneness and adolescent problem behaviour, looking at the parents’ sense of parental efficacy as a mediating variable. Although there was no association between the problem behaviours of early adolescents, either externalizing or internalizing, for fathers, they found that fathers whose adolescents were susceptible to internalizing and externalizing problems were more divorce-prone especially if they were low in parental efficacy. For mothers, there was a link between adolescents’ internalizing problems and divorce-proneness again mediated by the mothers’ sense of parenting efficacy.
5.10.2 Environmental or Genetic Factors?
Researchers have questioned whether these differences in delinquency are related to environmental or genetic factors (Burt, Barnes, McGue & Iacono, 2008). For example, the problems could be caused by the consequences of marital disruption such as reduced financial circumstances and inadequate parenting. Alternatively, a genetic explanation would imply that the delinquent young person has inherited pathology from one of their parents that increases the risk of the parent experiencing divorce, and the young person getting involved in delinquent activities (Harden et al., 2007; Rhee & Waldman, 2002).
Several studies have supported the likelihood that the link between divorce and delinquency is a result of environmental factors. A series of studies using twins (D’Onofrio et al., 2005, 2006, 2007) explored whether genetic or environmental factors of the twins’ parents were most likely to account for the link between divorce and delinquency. Their findings supported the effects of environment as most likely to account for this link. Another study comparing divorced and intact adoptive and biological families also supported the importance of environmental factors because the links between divorce and behaviour problems were no stronger in biological than in adoptive families.
Harper and McLanahan (2004) assessed the factors relevant to the higher incidence of young people in father-absent families being sent to prison. For example, Department of Justice figures in the USA (1994) showed that 57% of prisoners reported having not lived with both parents most of the time they were growing up, compared to 31% in the general population. Harper and McLanahan used a very broad definition of father absence, and compared young people from mother-father, mother only, mother-step father, father-stepmother and families in which no biological parent was present. Although 90% of the young people in this study began their lives residing with both parents, by the time they reached adolescence only 62 percent still resided with both their parents. Of those young people no longer living with both their parents, 87 percent lived in father-absent homes.
Harper and McLanahan used longitudinal data from the NLYS79 from those who were under 18 when the study commenced. They used this procedure to ensure that the explanatory variables (such as family structure) were measured while the participants were still minors. It was not clear from the paper what percentage of the sample were male or female, or whether it was a sample of mixed sex. The researchers found that although some of the risk of going to prison could be explained by factors other than father absence such as teen motherhood, low education of parents and poverty, it was clear that father-absence was still important in explaining this problem.
Those young people who were born to single mothers and whose fathers never lived with them were more likely to go to prison than those whose fathers left the family while they were children or adolescents. Harper and McLanahan (2004) suggest that the father not being involved during adolescence when these young people were developing independence and autonomy (see Chapter 2) and learning to manage social relationships may have a negative impact on that development (Boykin, McElhaney & Allen, 2001; Steinberg, 2001).
Another interesting finding from the Harper and McLanahan (2004) study was the impact of co-resident grandparents on young people in families in which at least one of the biological parents was absent. Although co-resident grandparents did not have a protective effect in families where both parents were present, they did seem to have a protective effect on adolescent behaviour in father-absent families. These authors suggest that grandparents living in father-absent families might provide extra care giving, whereas those in intact families might need care giving themselves, although the authors don’t provide an explanation for why that might be so. It is possible that they are suggesting that grandparents may come to live with intact families only when they themselves need help because of infirmities, whereas grandparents may move in with single-parent families in order to provide extra parenting and help in the family.
5.10.3 Parental Divorce and Offspring Mental Health
Although it seems clear that children from divorced and remarried families exhibit more problem behaviours and lower levels of psychological adjustment than those whose families have never been involved in divorce, there are a number of factors that contribute to this outcome (Hetherington, Bridges & Insabella, 1998). It is also important to recognize that children vary in how they respond to marital disruptions and not all children of divorce are adversely affected (Emery & Forehand, 1994; McLanahan & Sandefur, 1994). In fact, Emery and Forehand argue that by far the majority of children do not have serious problems following the divorce of their parents, and most become well-adjusted and competent individuals.
5.10.3.1 Divorce and Long-Term Depression
One aspect of adolescent well-being that seems to be especially affected by parental divorce is depression (Kelly, 2000; Strohschein, 2005). It seems that girls become more sensitive to the effects of the divorce of their parents during early adolescence and subsequently more depressed (Oldehinkel et al., 2008) and this high level of depression persists as they get older. Although boys’ and girls’ levels of depression were similarly affected by divorce in late childhood in this study, by the age of 15 the effects were no longer present for boys.
The study by Oldehinkel et al. (2008) supported the findings of a British study exploring the long-term impact of divorce on young people into adulthood (Cherlin, Chase-Lonsdale & McCrae, 1998). Both of these studies showed that the impact of divorce on young people can continue into adulthood. They found that part of the negative impact of divorce was related to factors present before the divorce, but that parental divorce in childhood or adolescence continues to have an effect on adult mental health when a person is in their twenties and early thirties, with the difference between them and their counterparts from intact families increasing over time.
5.10.4 Does Divorce Cause These Problems?
Some also argue that children who had poor adjustment after their parents’ divorce were already having problems before the divorce occurred and therefore the divorce could not be blamed for their problems (Amato & Booth, 1996). It is certainly true that if children’s adjustment before the divorce is taken into account, then the differences between young people from divorced and stable families tend to be smaller (Guidibaldi, Perry & Nastasi, 1987; Kelly, 2000). It is important to remember, however, that divorcing is a process and that young people in families that eventually divorce may be exposed to high levels of conflict and poor parenting over an extended period of time before the separation finally occurs. In fact, according to Amato and Booth, problem relationships between parents and children in families that later divorced were present as early as eight to 12 years earlier and these problems were related to the low quality of the parent’s marriage.
Although the actual divorce event and the loss of the parent may not be responsible for the children’s mental health problems, the breakdown of the marriage contributes to those problems (Strohschein, 2005). Strohschein found that children whose parents eventually divorced consistently experienced higher levels of anxiety and depression and engaged in higher levels of antisocial behaviour than children whose parents stayed married. In addition, these young people reported experiencing slightly increased levels of anxiety and depression, but not antisocial behaviour, following the divorce. In addition, there was no evidence that the anxiety and depression of young people in highly dysfunctional families decreased following divorce. Fergusson and his colleagues (1994) in New Zealand found increased risks of adolescent problems such as delinquency, depression and drug abuse in 15-year old adolescents who had experienced the breakdown of their parents’ marriage, although again the problems were also present before the actual separation.
Aseltine (1996) takes a different point of view on the basis of his study of high school students in Boston, USA. He argues that divorce appears to cause a number of problems and difficulties that are linked with adolescent depression, many of which are either not present prior to the separation or become more serious afterwards. He found in his sample that many of the problems that we have discussed in this chapter and that are typically experienced by adolescents whose parents have divorced were not present before the divorce. In addition, even for those problems that were present before the divorce, the differences between them and their counterparts from intact families were larger after the divorce than prior to it.
Adolescents whose parents have divorced are likely to be exposed to more conflict and bitterness both before and after the divorce than are adolescents whose parents are in stable marriages (Noller et al., 2008; Oldehinkel, Ormel, Veenstra, De Winter & Verhulst, 2008). In addition, both high levels of conflict and high levels of divorce seem to work together to affect the well being of children and adolescents (Hanson, 1999; Morrison & Coiro, 1999; Noller et al., 2008). High conflict couples seem to be able to keep the conflict going long after the divorce has occurred.
5.11 Divorce and Romantic Relationships of Offspring
A large sample of Finnish adolescents were assessed when they were 16 years of age and again when they were 32 years of age, and the researchers compared those whose parents had been divorced when they were 16 with those who were in stable families with their own parents (Mustonen et al., 2011). One striking finding was that those from the divorced families were more likely to be separated or divorced at age 32 than those whose parents were not divorced. Further, these researchers found that these troubled relationships were more common in females from divorced families than was true for males. These females also tended to have had poorer quality relationships with their parents when they were adolescents, had lower self-esteem and were not happy with the level of social support they were receiving. The extent to which parental divorce affected the quality of their intimate relationships was indirectly mediated by the quality of their relationships with their mothers.
A possible reason for this effect can be seen in a study by Wallerstein, Lewis and Rosenthal (2013). They reported on 60 families where parents were separated and divorced. These families were interviewed every five years over a 25-year period. These researchers report that in the post-divorce years, many of the mothers focused less on parenting even than they had through the period when the marriage was failing and concentrated instead on becoming financially independent and on rebuilding intimate relationships. In addition, many of the mothers struggled with psychiatric problems. As a result, their children engaged in delinquent activities because of the lack of supervision. Many mothers, however, were able to resume supervision of their children with the result that the delinquent activities decreased.
5.12 Living in a Stepfamily
When discussing stepfamilies, it is important to remember that these days children are much more likely to live with a biological mother and a step-father than was true in earlier times when women were much more likely than they are today to die in childbirth, at least in the West. Stories of wicked stepmothers tended to be written during that period.
In 2001, around 10 percent of couple-families with children were stepfamilies (Cartwright, 2005), and around 20 percent of children are likely to live in a stepfamily at some time before they turn 16. According to this New Zealand study, after a resident parent remarries, relationships between the resident parent and child are likely to deteriorate. This finding is supported by a US study that found that mothers who had remarried were less positive and more negative towards their own children from previous relationships than mothers in first marriages or mothers in established single-parent families (Hetherington & Clingempeel, 1992). In this study, pre-adolescent children were also likely to experience adjustment problems.
There is also evidence that children in stepfamilies tend to be less warm and communicative and also more negative in their interactions with their mothers (Hetherington & Jodl, 1994). These young people are also likely to see their families as more conflicted and less warm (Kurdek & Fine, 1993). These difficulties are likely to increase for adolescents who may disengage from their families and spend as little time as possible at home (Hetherington & Jodl). In addition, as will be discussed in Chapter 7, adolescents in stepfamilies are also likely to leave home earlier, presumably because of their dissatisfactions with family life.
According to the Harper and McLanahan (2004) study mentioned earlier, those young people who were most at risk of ending up in prison were those from stepfamilies, even though household income increased and the mother had, at least in theory, an extra person to help with supervision and monitoring. In fact, in these US data, those young people in stepfamilies were three times more likely than those in biological mother-father families to be sent to prison. One of the weaknesses of this study, acknowledged by the authors, was that conflict in the family, known to be related to delinquent behaviour and leaving home to live on the street, was not included in the analysis (Noller et al., 2008; Pears & Noller, 1995). Harper and McLanahan also note that other research has found that the complexity of relationships in stepfamilies may lead to adolescents experiencing uncertainty about how relationships should work and having more conflict with their parents than occurs in mother-father households (O’Connor, Hetherington & Clingempeel, 1997).
Table 5.4: Possible Stepfamily Problems
| Problems for mother | Problems for adolescent |
|---|---|
| Adolescents tend to be less warm and communicative and more negative in interactions with mother | Mothers less positive and more negative to own children |
| Adolescents may disengage from family and spend little time at home | Not getting enough attention from mothers because of new relationship – can create loyalty conflict |
| Loyalty conflicts when adolescents don’t comply with instructions of stepfather | Resent stepfathers trying to change their routines or discipline them |
| Mothers don’t always keep adolescents informed about loyalty conflicts |
A sample of young adults interviewed about their experiences in stepfamilies reported on the problems they faced in their relationships with their biological mothers (Cartwright & Seymour, 2002). Issues included not getting enough attention from their mothers, difficulties in communicating with them, perceiving conflicts between their mother’s loyalty to their new husband and to them as their son or daughter, issues about who should discipline them as well as their relationship with their non-resident fathers.
The young people explained the lack of attention as related to the mother and stepfather still getting to know one another and concentrating on their relationship with each other rather than their relationships with the young person. For example, one mother used to regularly read to her adolescent until the stepfather decided that the practice should stop. No wonder that adolescent complained of a loyalty conflict (Cartwright, 2005).
The young people also complained about parents not consulting them or even giving them information about their plans to re-partner. For example they complained that mother’s new boyfriend moved into the family home without any preparation or consultation, or that their mother was planning to remarry without even telling them (Cartwright, 2005). In one amazing situation, a young person reported that she and her mother were in a line at the airport checking their baggage, when a man she had not met came and joined them. She then discovered that this guy was coming on holidays with them. According to Cartwright, when a mother’s boyfriend moved in fairly quickly and without consultation, children and adolescents tended to feel resentful and see the new stepfather as an intruder, invading the privacy of their family home. (see Table 5.4)
Young people tended to resent stepfathers telling them what to do or trying to discipline them (Cartwright, 2005) and when the adolescents refused to comply, that behaviour created loyalty conflicts for the mothers. Mothers would feel torn between their loyalty to their child and to their new partner, and would be unsure what to do. If they decided to support the stepfather, their child or adolescent was likely see the parent as disloyal and feel betrayed by them. It is interesting to note that in Cartwright’s study involving young adults, only a third believed that they had maintained a close relationship with their residential parent after the arrival of the new partner. Spending time alone with their parent and engaging in fun activities with them seemed critical to maintaining a good relationship with them.
5.13 Summary
Although there is a lot of evidence that adolescents can be negatively affected by the separation or divorce of their parents, the situation is more complex and a range of family factors can increase or decrease the severity of the effect. For example, having residential arrangements that are supportive and where family members spend time together in leisure and other activities can increase resilience in young people and decrease the negative impact of their situation. Having one or more parents who use them as confidants and reveal inappropriate information about the other parent or the divorce can increase an adolescent’s feelings of being caught between their parents and increase the negative impact of the divorce or separation on them.
Ongoing conflict, particularly between the parents and between parents and adolescents can also contribute to the suffering of the young person, and increase the likelihood of the adolescent’s psychological adjustment being negatively affected. Ongoing inter-parental conflict increases the chances of adolescents becoming depressed or getting involved in delinquent activities. Where families engaged in enjoyable activities together, the positive mood of family members increased, their sense of closeness and their flexibility increased and their belief that they could work together to solve their problems also increased.
Adolescents in these families also need to be involved in decision-making about issues such as where they would live and how much contact they would have with the non-resident parent. They like to be able to minimize the negative reactions they experience from parents and will change residences or limit contact with a parent they see as over-reacting to stressful situations or giving them a hard time.
Sibling relationships in these families tend to be complicated, particularly for younger siblings who want the care and comfort offered by their older siblings, but don’t want to be dominated by them. They particularly resent any signs that their older siblings are being overprotective of them because of the levels of distress they are both dealing with.
Although adolescents from divorced families are more likely than adolescents from continuously married families to suffer from a range of psychological and behavioural problems, it is nevertheless true that most of them do not have serious problems and are likely to become reasonably well-adjusted adults. Factors such as the level of conflict between their parents and the parenting they receive are likely to be critical to their adjustment and future development.
Adolescents are particularly likely to resent step-parents when they are not consulted about their resident’s parent’s decision to invite the person into their family. They also resent step-parents telling them what to do and trying to discipline them. Relationships with the resident parent (usually the mother) tend to be less close than they were before the ‘intrusion’ and loyalty conflicts between their adolescent and their new partner can arise for these mothers.
5.14 Implications for Practitioners
Counselling or therapy involving the whole family would seem to be important when parents are separating or divorcing. Family members may need to hear and understand the perspectives of all family members and how they are impacted by the changes being made in the family. Parents may need to hear how their children and adolescents are being affected, and adolescents may benefit from understanding something of the pain that their parents are experiencing.
There is some evidence that adolescents have little patience with their parents’ problems and are likely to view their parents’ behaviour as childish, especially when they argue about issues that seem trivial to the adolescent but may in fact be about broader issues in the parents’ relationship, such as power and control. Counsellors may need to help adolescents see these issues from the point of view of their parents and to be more understanding of the issues the parents are dealing with.
Those adolescents living in homes without fathers may need help to see the importance of self-discipline, given that mothers are often not able to discipline their young people, particularly sons, either because of the age and size of the sons or because of their own emotional state following the breakdown of their marriage. Being a single parent at any time is a difficult task, but it is particularly difficult with adolescents. In fact, these mothers may need help in managing their adolescents, and adolescents may benefit from gaining some insight into the issues facing their single mothers. Involving resident parents in parenting programs focused on adolescents may be helpful (see Chapter 4).
Sibling relationships can also come under stress during and following the divorce of their parents. Again, dealing with the siblings together is likely to be particularly helpful. Concerned older siblings may not realise that their over-zealous care (at least as experienced by their younger siblings) is causing problems for those siblings. Helping them to share their concerns directly with their brothers or sisters could have a positive impact on the relationship, with the older siblings helped to support their younger siblings without overprotecting them.
Step-families can be problematic especially if the adolescent members are not appropriately prepared for the changes in their families. Parents and step-parents also need to be prepared so that roles are clarified before the step-parent joins the family. For the children, the arrival of a step-parent may make it clear to them that their dream of their parents getting back together is not going to be fulfilled. Why wouldn’t they resent the step-parent? In addition, if step-parents try to take over the role of the parent who has left, children are likely to respond very negatively. Ideally, counselling should take place before the step-parent moves in so that both parent and adolescents have the opportunity to share their feelings and discuss ways to make the relationships work.
Nicholson, Phillips, Whitton, Halford and Sanders (2007) argue that co-parenting can be particularly difficult in step-families. According to these researchers, it is important that the biological parent take primary responsibility for discipline at the same time as maintaining a relationship with the child involving high levels of warmth and positive interactions. The step-parent, on the other hand should focus his attention on developing a positive relationship with the child that is mutually respectful (Ganong, Coleman, Fine & Martin, 1999). Clearly, interventions with stepfamilies involving adolescents need to focus around these relationships.
In this chapter we have discussed the potential impact of parental divorce for adolescents and the family. In the following chapter we explore a broader range of family contexts that can decrease, and those that can increase, the likelihood of problematic behaviours of adolescents.