5

Non-verbal Communication

WHAT IS NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION?

Non-verbal means not involving words or speech. Thus, non-verbal communication refers to the wordless messages received through gestures, signs, body movements, facial expressions, tone of voice, colour, time, space and style of writing, and choice of words.

Animals communicate their deepest feelings of love, anger, joy, hunger, and desire for mating through gestures, cries, whistling, body movements, and many other signals known through instinct. Of course, the exact interpretation of such signs and gestures does vary, but they are mutually understood within their species.

It is we human beings alone who have evolved the language of words to convey our thoughts in a structured manner. Still, in moments of excitement, we tend to convey our feelings and emotions of joy, love, anger, and hatred by smiling, shouting, frowning, or using other wordless clues. Such nonverbal expressions of feelings come spontaneously. However, at times, we can deliberately lace our words with expressive tones, gestures, and facial expressions to heighten and modify the meaning of our words.

Some non-verbal message usually accompanies a verbal message. The verbal and the non-verbal together form the total meaning of the message communicated. In addition to the words uttered by the speaker, there is also usually something unsaid and implied, so to fully understand the message, the listener should pay attention to body language and nonverbal signals.

Unspoken messages are transmitted by non-verbal clues and signs (body movements and gestures). They exist in the form of kinesic communication (body talk) and meta communication. The receiver's response to them influences the interpretation of messages received through words. Body language is not mind-reading. Rather, it involves instant revelations—flashes that are communicated from one subconscious to another. There is no deliberate attempt to give or receive non-verbal messages. The exchange happens spontaneously.

CHARACTERISTICS, IMPORTANCE, AND FORMS OF NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION

A writer's style or a speaker's tone of voice and facial expressions indicate his or her attitude and feelings beyond what is being expressed through words.

• Non-verbal communication occurs via instrumental body movements. When someone moves their hands to perform some function, such as wash their face, it is an instrumental movement and not a symbolic clue. Most body movements, with the exception of instrumental movements, have meaning and communicate something. Communicative movements act as non-verbal clues. For example, wiping one's mouth when confronted by an authority figure communicates nervousness and using the hand gesture to wave goodbye communicates courtesy and friendship.

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  Understand the function of body talk in fully interpreting the underlying message of words.

• Non-verbal cues may be conscious or unconscious. They reveal the speaker's state of mind and inner feelings and emotions, which may be real or affected. Trained actors and orators intentionally use gestures, facial expressions, body movements, and postures to create the intended impact on their audience. Effective writers use stylistic devices to convey hidden feelings and attitudes.

  However, in real-life, most people betray their inner thoughts and feelings through unconscious signs. The speaker may not realize that he or she is conveying these feelings. For example, consider the following statement on bilateral talks between two unfriendly countries made by the representatives with tense facial expression or without a smile: “The meeting has made history”.

• The interpretation of non-verbal clues differs from person to person. For example, if a listener maintains continuous eye contact, the speaker may take it as a sign of perfect attention and full acceptance, but to someone else it could be a sign that the listener feels helpless or trapped.

  The visible is usually more convincing than what is heard as it may support or contradict the verbal message. Non-verbal clues are often taken as indicators of reality. For example, the pale face of a person in danger contradicts his or her claim of fearlessness. The trembling of a speaker indicates nervousness even though the speaker may say, “I feel encouraged and inspired to stand before such a learned audience.” Dress or language can also reveal the communicator's status or education.

• The same gestures may also be interpreted differently in different circumstances. For example, consider two colleagues, A and B, who are good friends. When A pats B on the back endearingly to congratulate her on a successful project, the pat is taken as a friendly gesture. Now, suppose A is the chairperson of a promotions committee and B is a candidate for promotion. To create a misunderstanding between A and B, someone tells B that A, as chairperson, opposed her promotion. When, on meeting her the next evening, A congratulates B and as usual pats her on the back, she recoils. This example shows that the relationship between two people also determines how they interpret each other‘s gestures.

KINESICS

Kinesic communication is the message conveyed through non-verbal acts in the form of body movements, such as gestures, winking, smiling, posture, or style of dressing and grooming, which send out a message that supports or contradicts the verbal message.

 

Kinesic communication is also known as body language or body talk. It includes the entire non-verbal behaviour of the communicator. A non-verbal act is ofen subconscious. It transmits unstated feelings and attitudes and hidden intentions. Non-verbal signs offer clues to the receiver, and help the receiver understand and correctly perceive the total meaning of the message.

A non-verbal message conveyed through body movements is known as leakage. A successful receiver is able to observe and interpret the leakage. Though it is not possible to have an exhaustive account of all leakages and what they signify, a few examples that illustrate the modifying effect of body movements on communication are given in Exhibit 5.1.

Non-verbal Acts	Possible Unspoken Idea
A senior looks at his watch while you are talking	“Your time is over, go away”
A person winks after saying something	“Do not believe what I just said.”
An executive is always late for meetings	“I am always very busy.”
	“I am not bothered about your time.”
A speaker prefers to speak from the floor rather than the dais.	“I want to show my sense of equality with you (the audience)”

 

Exhibit 5.1 Some Examples of Kinesic Communication

META COMMUNICATION: BODY LANGUAGE AND PARALANGUAGE

Meta-communication is an implied meaning conveyed by the choice of words, tone of voice, fumbling, silence, or omission. It is a message communicated not by words, but along with words. Meta-communication can be intentional or unintentional. For example, consider the following statement: “Try to reach the airport well on time.” The remark offers sound advice. But, the sentence, without stating it explicitly, implies that the listener is not punctual or is habitually late. Similarly, when someone wishes another person “best of luck”, it generally conveys good wishes, but also implies a sense of anxiety or fear that something untoward may happen.

 

Meta-communication also occurs through the use of paralanguage. Paralanguage includes pitch, loudness of voice, and speech breakers such as “er”, “ah”, and “uh”, which show hesitation or caution. Just as a normal or low pitch of speaking shows calm and control, a loud voice communicates displeasure or anger. Prolonged gaps, pauses, or silence are also forms of paralanguage. When a leader speaks slowly with many uses of “er” and “uh” he or she is usually being very careful and suspicious.

 

PROXEMICS OR SPACE LANGUAGE, TIME LANGUAGE AND SURROUNDINGS

Besides non-verbal gestures that convey wordless messages through body language and facial expressions, there are other wordless signs of power, position, taste, and culture, such as decoration and size of one's office, dress, grooming, and so on. These are called lateral gestures and include the following broad categories: (a) physical setting, (b) dress—clothes and shoes, and (c) personal space.

 

Physical Setting

An executive's position of power may be gauged from the size and furnishings of his or her office. The quality of furniture adds to the impression created by the setting of the room.

In an office, the executive's table is usually placed a few steps away from the door. This compels visitors or subordinates to walk up to him or her and feel his or her presence. Space is one of the factors involved in indicating the proximity of a relationship.

Dress

Clothes can define a person. It is one of the first things people notice. A person's clothes—their texture, colour, design, style, and stitching—reveal their taste and aesthetic sense.

In business, it is important to pay attention to one's clothes, especially at an interview or presentation. While one should look impressive, it is important not to be overdressed. Instead of highly fashionable and trendy designs and styles of suits, business executives should favour elegant, conventional styles. Clothes should not distract from the conversation.

In addition, one's clothes should be neither too loose nor too tight. It is important to feel comfortable in one's clothes, particularly in a high-stress situation, such as an interview or presentation. Never try a new set of clothes for such occasions. New clothes may not sit comfortably, and they may distract the wearer from time to time. So, the first rule to follow is the principle of comfort.

Shoes should also be formal and in keeping with the colour of the clothes. Business bags, briefcases, handbags, or portfolios also indicate one's status as a professional. An overstufed handbag is not as impressive as a sleek briefcase or a smart handbag.

Personal Space

The personal space between two interacting persons indicates the level of formality, informality, intimacy, or distance between them. Business executives should observe the personal territory that each individual wishes to enjoy. Breaking into someone's personal territory is likely to make him or her feel uncomfortable. When placed under such an intrusion, an important person is bound to show displeasure and signs of withdrawal from the interaction. Thus, it is also important to understand the non-verbal message of displeasure and correct the space-relationship to have a fruitful interaction.

Two interacting parties have a zone of invisible space between them, which is delineated by the nature of their relationship. A public figure for instance, would be used to more space around him or her, whereas one would maintain a smaller distance with a friend or relative.

 

According to the nature of relationships, there are four distinct zones: (i) the public zone, (ii) the social zone, (iii) the friendly zone, and (iv) the intimate zone.

The public zone is the widest territory between the speaker and audience. A public speaker addresses a large gathering of persons. He or she needs to speak from a raised platform at a distance of 10 to 15 feet from the audience. The distance and elevation of the speaker provide visibility and a sense of isolation and superiority for the speaker. An example of the public zone is seen in the armed services, where it is normal practice for army officers to issue commands from a distance of 8 to 10 steps from the troops.

A social zone is the space maintained between people who are known to each other in a formal way. All business transactions are to be treated as social interactions. An executive should keep a distance of 4 to 10 feet from his or her audience. This space will ensure the comfort of the listeners, especially if they happen to be seniors, customers, or clients. At this distance, one can observe the body language and facial expressions of the other party closely. The social zone will be applicable for new colleagues at work, new acquaintances, and small group training situations.

The friendly zone is the distance observed at business parties, seminars, and other informal business gatherings and get-togethers. In such situations, people remain close to each other, but not close enough to jostle against each other. The gap maintained is nearly 1½ to 4 feet. At this distance, people can comfortably chat, laugh, and joke with each other without invading each other's space.

The intimate zone is the distance between an individual and those he or she loves, such as close relatives and family members. This zone is not appropriate in a professional environment. In this zone, people tend to be near enough to whisper, about 6 to 18 inches. This nearness signals closeness among those involved in the conversation. However, this close distance is possible only when one is sure of the relationship because it is a zone in which one can touch the other person. In all other zones, including the friendly zone, one should not risk touching the other person. Touching can be strongly offensive.

 

Within the intimate zone, there are, according to the level of intimacy, further zones/bands. They are:

• Near intimate sphere (up to 6 inches): The zone for lovers, partners, children, family members
• Distant intimate sphere (6 inches to 18 inches): The zone for close friends, close colleagues and relatives

Both these spheres are sensitive. The difficulty lies in knowing how close is too close. When our intimate zone is intruded upon, we may feel embarrassed and, at times, threatened by the unwanted approach. We may have a “flight or fiht” response, either confronting the intruder or removing ourselves from the situation. If our friendly zone is violated, we hide our discomfort by smiling or raising questions.

There are times when one cannot help having personal and intimate spaces violated, such as when travelling in a crowded compartment or entering a packed lift. In such situations, people are not usually resentful of others because body language indicates their helplessness. Moreover, to avoid discomfort to anyone, it is best to avoid eye contact with others in such situations and to try to stand straight to avoid physical contact with anyone.

GESTURES

Positive Gestures

When a person speaks, his or her hands move freely to indicate the meaning of his or her words. Such gestures are natural. They cannot be avoided. They give strength to the speaker's words. But, gestures should be seen in terms of whether they have a positive or negative message. Although gestures are spontaneous, we can learn to monitor and use positive gestures and minimize, if not avoid, the negative ones.

Positive gestures are body signals that make the communicator look relaxed, confident, and polite. Positive listening gestures include leaning a little towards the other person, tilting the head, making eye contact, and gently nodding as a sign of agreement or understanding. Such gestures encourage the speaker to a great extent. Positive speaking gestures include keeping the hands open and avoiding clutching or folding them across the chest.

 

When walking, keep your head upright. Hands should swing freely by the sides. Eyes should look straight in front. Steps should be well measured and steady. Many people carry books, files, and documents held against the chest. This makes the person look nervous and defensive. To avoid being perceived as a nervous person, one could carry them on one side. We can use our gestures to politely communicate what we want when we are unable to speak or are interrupting someone. For example, during a serious, formal conversation, if you are offered water or tea, you may politely hold up your palm to ask the other person to wait or to decline if you do not want to interrupt the conversation. Similarly, if you are on the phone and someone asks you something, you can politely request him or her to wait a minute by holding up one finger or some other symbolic gesture. This ensures that you do not ignore the visitor.

Gestures can be adequate substitutes for words. We should develop the skill of using them effectively. Equally importantly, we should recognize our negative gestures and learn to hide them.

Negative Gestures

Negative gestures involve certain body movements, postures, gestures, or non-verbal activities such as shaking, tapping one's feet, looking at the watch, and so on. Putting one's hands in the pockets is also a negative gesture. If you put one hand in your pocket, it usually suggests arrogance. If you put both, it might show nervousness. However, if you want to look confident, but not nervous or arrogant, thrust your hands in your pockets, then keep the thumb out, so that you do not fully insert your hands inside the pockets.

Take note of the clues in Exhibit 5.2.

 

 

Exhibit 5.2. Non-verbal Clues

VOCAL CUES

Body language (how you look) is only one aspect of nonverbal skills. Vocal traits (how you sound) are equally important for establishing credibility. Vocal traits are based on how you say it, not on what you say.

Intonation

Intonation refers to the modulation, pitch, variation, and inflection in your voice.

• Do speak with expression and enthusiasm, sounding natural and interesting, with variety in your pitch.
• Do not speak in a dull, robotic, bored-sounding monotone. Watch out for “voice uplift” (ending sentences as if they were questions) that makes you sound tentative and unsure of yourself.

Volume

Your volume is determined by how loudly or softly you speak. Remember to (1) speak loudly enough to be heard by the people in the back row of the room, (2) vary your volume to add interest, (3) watch out for “volume fade” at the ends of your sentences.

Rate

Rate is the speed with which you speak. Don't bore your audience with an overly-slow rate or lose them with an overly-fast one. Since you probably cannot judge your own rate, ask a colleague or friend to assess it for you. A good way to slow down your rate is to use more pauses (followed by an in-breath) at the end of your sentences and before or after important points. Remember to slow down especially if you have an unfamiliar accent or if you are speaking to non-native audience members.

Fillers

Fillers are verbal pauses—like uh, um, and y’know.

• Try to become comfortable pausing during your presentation to collect your thoughts. The pause, which may sound interminably long to you, is most likely imperceptible to your audience—so you don't need to fill it up with a sound.
• Don't obsess if you notice a few fillers; everybody uses them occasionally. Instead, aim to avoid the distracting, habitual overuse of fillers.

Enunciation

Enunciation refers to how clearly you articulate your words. Pronounce your words clearly and crisply. Avoid the following, all of which may be perceived as sounding uneducated or sloppy: mumbling, squeezing words together (as is gonna or wanna), leaving out syllables (as is guvmint), and dropping final consonants (as is thousan’ or goin’).

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE AND THE SKILL TO PRESENT YOURSELF

Remember that the first impression is the most important and lasting impression. Hence, present yourself well to make a positive and lasting impression. To do so pay attention to the fact that people form impressions about us by how we look, “over 50 per cent of our personal impact is through our appearance, our body language, and facial expressions,” says a research quoted by Steve Smith in ‘Be your best’ (Kogan Page, 1999, P45).

Here are some practical tips on how to look your best and impress others.

1. Know your body language:
   • Develop self-awareness by visualizing yourself as others see you and interpreting your body movements and gestures.
   • Try to develop positive gestures and expressions to present yourself as you wish to be seen by others—as a confident, pleasing, well-meaning team worker.
   • Do not give conflicting non-verbal cues.
   • Convey sincerity through your tone of voice and facial expression.
   • Use symbols, non-verbal cues (gestures, posture, and so on), intonation (volume, pace of delivery, and enunciation), expressions, and so on to reinforce and clarify the meaning of the message.
   • Maintain eye contact with the audience.
   • Smile genuinely.
   • Avoid power posturing.

   Culture, like language, lays down rules for accepted social behaviour of people sharing a set of knowledge, beliefs, practices, and ideas.

2. Know about culture-specific body language: Though body language is a universal phenomenon, its meaning differs across cultures. Culture, like language, lays down rules for accepted social behaviour of people sharing a set of knowledge, beliefs, practices, and ideas. In present day multi-cultural workplaces, communication between persons of different nations and backgrounds requires an understanding of non-verbal acts, such as eye contact, touch, and the sense of time in different cultures. People attach great significance to what they learn from non-verbal clues in addition to what they hear through words. Non-verbal clues are taken as true indicators of the speaker's subconscious mind. They are, therefore, considered more reliable than words. Be careful not to use non-verbal clues that violate the cultural norms of other countries. Persons who travel and work abroad or in multi-cultural environments must realize that gestures may not mean the same thing they do in their own country. Some of those gestures might even be unwelcome or offensive.
3. Know about touching and its context: Touching has limited communicative symbolism. It primarily conveys intimacy and closeness and also love. But, its meaning is very closely linked to its context. Take the case of a doctor, who can touch a patient of the opposite sex when medically necessary, without offending the patient. In this context, the doctor's body movements, touching, and so on are instrumental acts, performing certain tasks. They are not communicative body movements that reflect the doctor's state of mind, emotions, or attitude. Te context characterizes the nature of a body movement and determines whether it is a communicative or instrumental message.

    

   Touching has limited communicative symbolism. It primarily conveys intimacy and closeness and also love. But the act of touching has its meaning in relation to its context.

4. Watch and read non-verbal clues:
   • Interpret non-verbal clues in relation to the situation and culture accurately.
   • Be careful about false non-verbal clues deliberately given to deceive you.
   • Consider the non-verbal message, along with what the speaker's words say, to know the total message.
   • Respond with self-control, but do not react to non-verbal signals.

Among lovers, parents, family members, and very close friends, touching is a normal gesture and goes unnoticed, but between strangers it is at once marked and may be objectionable. Even among those who share the zone of intimacy, only some parts of the body can be touched while communicating.

Touch usually communicates intimacy. However, which part of the body can be touched by whom and when depends upon the culture of the people involved. In western countries, men and women can walk freely holding each others’ hands in public. But in India, Pakistan, and other conservative countries, men and women generally do not do so in public.

To refer to themselves when speaking to someone, Americans may place one hand on their chest, whereas the Japanese may place a finger on their noses. But, some psychologists consider nose touching to be a Freudian symbol of sexuality.

Like other emblematic body movements, eye contact is also culturally decoded in different ways. Eye contact is an important clue of attentive listening. In most western countries, it is considered polite to maintain eye contact when speaking to someone. On the other hand, in Japan and India, subordinates ofen do not make eye contact when speaking and listening to their supervisors. It is possible that an American may consider a Japanese person to be impolite if he or she keeps his or her eyes lowered during a conversation. In India, this may speak of humility, not shame.

 

Similarly, silence is communicative, but it may say different things to people of different cultures. For instance, in Japan, one may prefer to remain silent when one does not know much about the matter being discussed. In India, silence may indicate agreement. In the United States, silence may be seen as a sign of withdrawal and non-participation. An American usually looks for involvement and participation through raising questions or doubts.

No one can make an exhaustive study of all possible cultural variations of every body movement. However, this is an attempt to highlight the importance of context and cultural diferences in the interpretation of body movements and gestures.

 

Since a face to face interaction is a live act, the speaker's non-verbal cues will influence the listener and vice versa. We have already discussed the power of non-verbal body movements, gestures, and facial expressions in positively or negatively modifying the meaning of the message. For an impressive presentation of oneself at interviews, meetings, public speaking and professional presentations, the following aspects of non-verbal behaviour are particularly relevant:

• Professional appearance
• Good/positive posture
• Eye contact
• Use of positive gestures and hand movements that reinforce the argument
• vocal cues: intonation, pitch, and clear articulation.
• Smiling and looking relaxed while answering questions

REVIEW YOUR LEARNING

1. “When you lack confidence in a situation, your body language will shout out to others that you are unsure of yourself.” Discuss some of the ways in which body language can betray lack of confidence.
2. Discuss the difference between communicative and instrumental body movements. Give some examples of communicative gestures.
3. What is “leakage” in non-verbal communication?
4. How would you act when a power-posturing superior confronts you?
5. Does our culture influence our interpretation of the behaviour of those from other cultures? Give examples to support your answer.
6. Explain the process of meta-communication as an intentional form of communication.
7. Discuss the main classifications of non-verbal communication.
8. Besides non-verbal gestures and facial expressions, there are lateral gestures, which communicate without using words. Discuss some of these lateral non-verbal gestures with examples.
9. What does personal space signify in interpersonal communication at different levels? Discuss with examples.

REFLECT ON YOUR LEARNING

1. Reflect on the guidelines for developing communication skills and the extent to which you are able to interpret non-verbal clues accurately.
2. How would you know if your communication with your colleagues is breaking down? Why do communication breakdowns happen?
3. What is “rapport”? How would you establish rapport between yourself and your audience?
4. 1. How would you interpret silence during a discussion between a Japanese businessman and your Indian colleague?
   2. If a worker requests his supervisor for an increase in his salary and the supervisor remains silent, what should the worker gauge from his silence?
5. Consider the modifying influence of culture on non-verbal modes of communicating feelings and relationships in similar social contexts.