Presence is an elusive human quality, but one that can really boost your chances of success during your promotion campaign. Meeting your objectives and showing that you’re good at what you do are clearly extremely important aspects of a successful career, but presence enables someone to command respect—or at least attention—so it’s something that you need to think about.
Some people believe you’re born with presence, or charisma, while others think that it develops as a by-product of success. In fact, it’s probably a combination of the two—and almost anyone can certainly nurture and develop it in themselves. It most often seems to result from confidence in what you’re doing, when you feel at home with, or passionate about, your role. Presence is most likely to elude us when we’re not sure of ourselves and feeling uncomfortable, so job interviews and other stressful promotion situations are times when it might be hard to conjure it up. With some practice, though, and a belief in your own abilities, you can seem much more confident than you may feel!
Step one: Don’t hold yourself back
‘Presence’ is one of those words that makes the more unassuming among us think ‘I couldn’t possibly do that’. But don’t dismiss it out of hand, and do try to see how working on this aspect of your professional ‘armour’ really can help you. As you’ll see in chapters 6 and 7, business runs on relationships, so anything you can do to help yourself to make an impression on others will be very positive.
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Before we go any further, let’s dispel one misapprehension: having presence has nothing at all to do with how tall you are. There are many successful political and business leaders who have compensated for their lack of stature in other ways—Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela, and Napoleon are just a few examples. Presence can be created by a state of mind: the adage ‘think tall and you will be tall’ really does work.
Don’t worry if you find that you command attention in some areas of your life but are less successful at work. This happens a lot: people who are happy and confident in one setting find they can’t ‘switch on’ their talent in a different setting. There are some useful techniques that will enable you to transfer your talents between situations, though, and one that seems to work very well is ‘anchoring’. Briefly, it relies on your ability to capture the feeling when you’re doing something really well and associate it with a gesture, movement, or saying—such as pinching your thumb and forefinger together. This becomes the ‘anchor’, and, when you transfer your anchor into a new setting, all the memories of performing well flood back and allow you to do so at will.
On a similar theme, some managers worry that, although they have real credibility with their team members, they don’t make the same positive impression on their peers or managers. If you feel you’re in this situation, try not to worry. Remember that with the people who work for you you have three things that they don’t: knowledge, expertise, and authority. When you’re with your peers and managers, they probably have the same or more of these things—or create the illusion that they do. This can be sufficiently intimidating to make you lose your confidence. Try the ‘anchor’ technique described above to see if you can transfer your confidence into encounters with your peers and managers.
Step two: Understand the four key areas of presence
1 Physical
This refers to how you manage your body. People with presence often have good posture, even if they’re small. They stand and move well, projecting calm and confidence. Being fit and in good general health are key factors. Exercise, good diet, and proper rest are important allies, as are ‘centring’ practices like meditation and yoga, even though they may not be for everyone. Good quality clothes that fit well emphasise posture and confidence. They don’t need to be expensive or conventional, just carefully chosen to suit the occasion.
Non-verbal behaviour can reinforce the impression you’re trying to create. Steady eye contact, a clear voice, and appropriate gestures are powerful channels of non-verbal communication. People with presence also often create the impression of being larger than they actually are, by the clever use of space. If sitting, they may sit with one arm resting on the back of the chair, their body at an angle, and one leg crossed over the other. This position takes up a large amount of space and is very confident and imposing. Look for opportunities to project a ‘bigger’ persona; use fuller, sweeping arm movements, rather than just a hand or pointing finger. It’s a good idea to practise in front of a mirror or a friend until you get used to them, so that you won’t overdo them in public.
2 Mental/emotional
The mind is one of the most important tools for creating presence, and the technique of visualisation is a very successful one: our thoughts always precede our actions and behaviour; so, by making your intention explicit in your mind, you’ll already be creating it in reality. For example:
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The ability to build rapport is invaluable. Good eye contact when engaging with people, even if in an audience, enables you to make valuable human impressions. Paying proper attention to what people say and demonstrating that you’ve heard their comments is important. So, too, is remembering people, and the context in which you know them. By deliberately using someone’s name when you’re speaking to them, you can embed it in your mind.
Visualise yourself as a person who emanates presence.
See your picture in colour; examine it in detail.
Note the feelings that arise in you, the sound of an audience applauding, the glow of achievement as you make your exit.
Make positive affirmations: ‘I am confident’, ‘I feel good’, ‘I have presence’. These will train your brain to believe what you see in your mind’s eye.
Repeat your positive affirmations regularly so that they become the dominant messages that you transmit about yourself.
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Make sure these positive messages to yourself are in the present tense. If you say ‘I will be confident’, your brain will believe it to be a future scenario, and you may never get there!
3 Mastery
Know your stuff. All the knowledge and experience you’ve built up during your career will let you be confident in what you say and do. Make sure people know your worth and what a catch you are by being open and honest; share your experiences subtly, tell stories, and try to build real relationships with others. Try not to take over, though: very often, people on a quest to create presence for themselves stop seeing and listening to others. Try to be inclusive, and ‘generosity’ will also become part of your presence.
Mastering all these elements will open new doors of opportunity for you: people will gravitate to you, offer you new leadership roles, and spread the good word about your qualities and skills.
4 Occasion
People with presence are able to create a sense of occasion in even the most ordinary of circumstances, such as walking along the production line, chairing a meeting, or giving a presentation. Presence is about transmitting a quality that others trust and respond to. It makes them feel as if they’re gaining something just from being close to you. If it’s to be sustained, having presence carries quite a lot of responsibility. For those who look up to you, you’ll be providing guidance and inspiring confidence, reflecting their values, and—perhaps—being their conscience.
Common mistakes
You mistake over-confidence for presence
These two traits are absolutely not the same thing. Overconfidence is all about yourself; presence is about others. Over-confident people can come across as self-interested and unempathic, whereas someone with presence is often seen as taking an interest and building relationships. Those who seem to be over-confident are actually very often insecure, and are trying to compensate for this.
You think that presence can’t be developed
Having a certain amount of natural presence is a gift, yes, but it’s one that needs attention and development to mature properly. Look for occasions where you can practise the techniques that will help you project the impression you seek. By building up a series of successes, you’ll soon be able to join them together and emanate this quality at will. In time, it may become second nature.
You aren’t fully prepared
As discussed above, there are physical, mental, emotional, mastery, and ‘occasion’ elements involved in presence. It’s important to have them all working in harmony—if you don’t, you could ruin all your good work. For example, imagine looking good, having a clear intention, having the occasion . . . but nothing to say. Or conversely, having a great story or bit of information, but getting the timing all wrong. Each element assists and supports the others, so pay careful attention to all of them.
STEPS TO SUCCESS
If you’re a shy person, don’t assume that presence is something that will always elude you; you can develop it with a little effort.
If you find it easier to command respect in some areas of your life than others, there are lots of effective techniques you can use to transfer your skills between different settings. ‘Anchoring’ is particularly useful.
There are four key areas of presence, all of which need to work in harmony, as they back each other up. They are: physical, mental/emotional, mastery, and occasion.
Physical presence comes from the way you manage your body. Make sure you have good posture, use ‘open’ body language, and keep up good eye contact.
Your mind can help you boost your presence via the use of positive visualisation techniques. If you ‘see’ yourself behaving and being recognised in the way you’d like, you’ll naturally act as if this is so.
Mastery comes from knowing your stuff. Let the experience you’ve built up during your career boost your confidence. Share your experiences subtly and remember to let others have their say too.
Don’t think that over-confidence and presence are the same thing—they’re anything but. Over-confident people seem remote and self-absorbed; those with presence take an interest in others and actively build positive, warm relationships.