CONTENTS
SECTION I The Secret to Reaching Anyone 1
The Secret: Getting Through Is Simple
2 A LITTLE SCIENCE: HOW THE BRAIN GOES FROM “NO” TO “YES”
Amygdala Hijack and the Death of Rational Thought
SECTION II The Nine Core Rules for Getting Through to Anyone
3 MOVE YOURSELF FROM “OH F#@& TO OK”
The “Oh F#@& to OK” Speed Drill
“But I Do Listen . . . Don’t I?”
How Well Do You Know the People You Know?
5 MAKE THE OTHER PERSON FEEL “FELT”
Why Does “Feeling Felt” Change People?
The Steps to Making Another Person Feel “Felt”
6 BE MORE INTERESTED THAN INTERESTING
Don’t Just Act Interested—Be Interested
8 HELP PEOPLE TO EXHALE EMOTIONALLY AND MENTALLY
Moving a Person Away from Distress
9 CHECK YOUR DISSONANCE AT THE DOOR
The Perils of Corporate Dissonance
When You Can’t Avoid Dissonance, Anticipate It
10 WHEN ALL SEEMS LOST—BARE YOUR NECK
Show Them Your Neck, and They’ll Want to Show You Theirs
11 STEER CLEAR OF TOXIC PEOPLE
Mirror Check: Who’s the Problem?
SECTION III 12 Quick and Easy Ways To Achieve Buy-In and Get Through
When to Employ the Empathy Jolt
15 THE REVERSE PLAY, EMPATHY JOLT #2
16 ”DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT?”
19 FROM TRANSACTION TO TRANSFORMATION
What Question Would Make You Look Up?
22 TAKE IT ALL THE WAY TO “NO”
23 THE POWER THANK YOU AND POWER APOLOGY
“Thank You” Versus the Power Thank You
SECTION IV PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER: FAST FIXES FOR SEVEN CHALLENGING SITUATIONS
26 THE NARCISSIST AT THE TABLE