RESOLVING CONFLICT

When leaders can't achieve their transitional goals, the problem may be conflicting commitments. It's important for leaders to figure this out so that as they work on change they can still honor competing commitments. This is especially important when a leader's reputation is at stake.

One executive, for example, wanted to lose weight, but this goal conflicted with his desire to give himself, his family, and his employees “the very best,” mostly in the form of food. He had to become aware of this rival goal before he could honor it in a different way and still reach his personal goal of becoming healthier. He had a reputation as a generous man and did not want to jeopardize that esteem. But he had to learn to be magnanimous with things other than food.

An executive who set a goal of being a better listener had a reputation for being very efficient. He saw taking more time to listen as something that would compromise his valued reputation for efficiency. He had to come to terms with this conflict so that he would be able to balance listening and efficiency and no longer view them as clashing.

In recruiting allies in the campaign to change, leaders may need to reach out. There may be people you have offended in the past. You may need to apologize and offer a smile, a greeting, or a friendly handshake to get people to notice you again so they can start processing the “new you.” When leaders are respectful and friendly, it's easier for people to notice the changes these leaders have made. Drop by and visit if that's something you haven't been doing. Go to meetings that you've been skipping. All these things will enable people to take a new look at you.