chapter 9
How do you get a team working together ‘all for one and one for all’?
- Increasing respect and support in the team
- Increasing commitment between team members
‘The strength of the team is each individual member. The strength of each member is the team.’
Phil Jackson.
Self-assessment
Before reading the chapter, do the following quick self-assessment.
How would you rate the following in your team?
Everything’s in hand, or is it?
The weekly conference call with the team was in full swing.
‘So, where are we with the plans for the project in Düsseldorf, Fred?’ queried Davide.
‘We are progressing to plan. Everything’s in hand, there are no issues to report.’ As usual, Fred’s response was brief and to the point, and always positive.
Jon was slightly uncomfortable. He knew Fred better than a few months ago but he was still questioning if he was getting the whole story any time Fred opened his mouth. It was always good and it couldn’t always be good! Is he hiding something again? Jon decided to speak up.
‘Fred, when I was in Düsseldorf last week, I attended a project meeting where there was some concern over the end-of-quarter deadline for Phase 2. To me it sounded like it’s not really going to plan.’
Silence followed, accompanied by some crackling sounds on the line.
After a few moments, Fred responded, his voice a bit louder than before.
‘Actually Jon, I think you’ve got that wrong. Let’s be honest, I think you may have misinterpreted what was said and this is probably down to not quite knowing how we do things in Germany.’
Even though he sounded in control, Fred was inwardly worried that Jon’s experience out-trumped his own and it made him feel as if he had to demonstrate his competence and power. He cleared his throat and continued to explain why everything was good, the process they were going through, while throwing in some local technical reference to show that he had everything under control.
Far away, Jon was shaking his head, thinking: There’s no point in saying anything. He’s just doing his own thing. What happened to the team?
Davide started to recognise that there was a pattern to these calls. More often than not, someone felt the need to beat their chest and prove how great they were. This was clearly not anywhere near the level of teamwork he wanted to see. Getting to know each other, which they had started to do, had not been enough.
Meanwhile, unbeknown to the others, two other team members were instant messaging each other as usual. They were gossiping about how unnecessary Fred’s pompous rant was and how annoying it was that Jon had to ask the question, which provoked the rant. Now it was all just going to take longer, they lamented.
Exploring the problem
Conference calls can be challenging in their own right. They are great tools, but to work well they have to be both disciplined and focused, and have appropriate active involvement. Virtual teams, where team members are not all in the same place, are dependent on this critical communication tool and have to make it work well.
Honest response
In this call, Fred’s reluctance to share the whole story makes Jon suspicious. As he doesn’t get a totally honest response, it makes him feel distant from Fred. It drives them apart as team members.
The fact that two other team members are instant messaging each other, about the behaviours shown by Jon and Fred is another indication of how disparate the team is. All of this creates an ‘us and them’ mentality, which is detrimental to team unity.
Isolation
When the distancing happens through these behaviours and the team is not located together, it creates a sense of isolation. People feel alone and, when they feel alone, they fend for themselves. It’s no longer about the greater good, if it ever was, it’s about setting their own individual course. And that’s not what teams are all about.
Imposter syndrome
As the team is located in several different countries, lack of awareness of cultural differences can drive a team apart, which is hinted at in Fred’s comment about Jon not understanding how things work in Germany.
Fred feels inferior to Jon. When Jon challenges him, he feels like he has to make himself look better than Jon, and the way he does it is to stick to his original comment rather than admitting that there was a problem. He suffers from the ‘imposter syndrome’, where the sufferer is fearful that people will find out that he is not as good as he sets himself up to be. The imposter syndrome does not necessarily happen at a conscious level, but it drives the behaviours that we can see.
Figure 9.1 The imposter syndrome
Fears are not uncommon in the workplace. The most common fears we see are:
- Fear of failure: This fear of making mistakes is likely to drive a controlling behaviour, thinking you have to be ‘perfect’.
- Fear of rejection: This is the fear that others will not like you and will push you away. It is likely to drive behaviours of wanting to please others and avoiding conflicts.
Both fears, although natural, are not conducive to effective teamwork. In great teams people feel safe and are able to be open and transparent with each other without fear of negative consequences.
The reasons for team members not working together ‘all for one and one for all’
A gossip culture
Team members can have a habit of speculating and jumping to conclusions. This typically happens behind ‘closed doors’ and is the opposite to transparent and respectful communication. And once this habit is in place, it can gain a life of its own, where speculation leads to more speculation, rumours and exaggerated guesses.
Team members don’t see the benefits
Team members may not have experienced strong, fully supportive teamwork before and therefore are not aware of the benefits it could bring.
The team is not all located in the same place
When teams are not all based in the same physical workplace, it can be harder to feel like a team or know how to work together across different locations.
‘Us and them’ mentality
Cliques and sub-groups are not uncommon in teams, but they do nothing for proper teamwork. The reason they are created though is that it’s often easier for individuals to find allegiances in one or two people than a whole team, unless they are helped to do so.
Team constellation changes
A team may only stay intact for so long. Natural employee turnover means that team members leave and others join. These changes can make it more challenging to bond and gel as a team.
Team members are not respectful or supportive towards each other
Unhelpful behaviour towards each other within a team, such as withholding information, going behind each other’s backs, exclusion and bullying, simply drives a team apart.
Team members think they have all the answers themselves
Many employees think the leader has to have all the answers – and even if they don’t, the leader often thinks this anyway. This is also true for people in general; we can be reluctant to admit to not knowing something, especially when we think others think we should know.
Team members not understanding each other’s cultures
Everyone has their own frame of reference, based on cultural values and habits, as well as experience and personality. Without valuable knowledge of other cultures and backgrounds, it can be difficult for team members to understand and accept each other and open up for mutual teamwork. This can also happen when people have different styles.
‘We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.’ Anais Nin
The impact of not working together ‘all for one and one for all’
- Team members are inefficient, individually and as a team.
- Gossiping and an ‘us and them’ mentality make people feel uncertain and guarded.
- Team members can feel lonely and isolated. This, and a perceived lack of loyalty, can make team members less inclined to stay in the team.
- Everyone fends for themselves.
- When cultures or styles are misunderstood, team members can feel disrespected, left out and not understood or listened to.
The impact on the business, customers, employees and stakeholders
Productivity and financial results are impacted when teams are gossiping, which wastes time and causes insecurity and again inefficiency.
Wayne was promoted to become the leader of his former peers. Two of his peers had also applied for the job, but had not been successful. Wayne had always had a good relationship with his peers and had ‘grown up’ with many of the team. After a while he realised that the others were having a hard time relating to him as their superior. He started to notice that the others had become more reserved towards him and conversations stopped when he showed up. One day he overheard how two members were complaining about him having made a decision without consulting them, given they had relevant knowledge he lacked. It made him acutely aware that this perceived competition was taking focus away from their job while affecting morale. Time and energy was wasted, while they were all also moaning about having too much to do.
This example highlights a common problem, which can drive a team apart if not addressed, and the climate as well as business results can be affected.
When individuals feel isolated and get demotivated, absenteeism can affect both customer experience and the bottom line. This feeling of isolation means employees can be less inclined to stay in the organisation, creating higher employee turnover, which absolutely impacts the customer experience. It takes time to bring new employees up to speed and contribute to a high standard.
Working in isolation is the opposite to team spirit.
Team spirit was perfectly portrayed in Alexandre Dumas’ famous story of The Three Musketeers. Their motto, ‘All for one and one for all’, is as relevant today as it was in the 1800s when the book was written.
If you look closely at the winning soccer teams in the World Cup, for example, they typically epitomise this kind of team spirit, as great teams put the team ahead of themselves. There is no one star that the team stands and falls with. The fact that everyone plays an important role, coupled with the faith that great results can be achieved together, is at the centre of these footballers’ team spirit. This means that even if one of their best players is missing, the team is still as strong. This is interesting as this is not necessarily true for most teams, where some team members have a perceived or real ‘higher status’ than their teammates. Others therefore feel inferior and potentially less valuable and important, and the star’s absence at best worries and at worst cripples the team’s performance.
With great team spirit everyone is willing to ‘sacrifice’ themselves for the team. They know that their shared mission is bigger than their personal agenda. And they know that they have a responsibility towards their team members to always behave in a manner that is conducive with their target mission. In fact, in many sports teams, you wouldn’t even be allowed to play if you weren’t thinking ‘all for one and one for all’!
In a work example, that kind of team spirit may mean that a team member cancels a meeting with a senior mentor, even though that would be helpful for his/her own career, in order to step in for a team member who has been taken ill or fallen behind for some reason. The team goes before the individual and as a result the team has greater results and success, which ultimately also means the individual has greater success. It’s a win–win mentality.
Solutions
Getting a team to embody the team spirit of ‘all for one and one for all’ takes time, energy and effort. This whole book outlines solutions that can make this a reality. What all solutions have in common is making it possible for team members to know, like and trust each other, and to want to achieve more because they are a team. This kind of climate can be created.
Let’s get specific on how to do it.
Solution 1: Stop gossiping and making assumptions
Negative gossip is always unhelpful. It creates barriers. At the same time, however, speculation is natural as a way to make sense of what you hear or observe. There’s a fine a line between unhealthy gossip and healthy speculation.
The best way to stop gossip is not to engage with it, and to ask those who gossip to go and talk to the right sources rather than going behind their backs. Don’t collude with gossiping behaviour. If you or others have concerns that make you speculate, talk openly, ask questions, get clarification. If gossip isn’t stopped, it becomes a culture; people think it’s OK to do it, and this can become addictive.
Solution 2: Highlight reasons and benefits
Make sure people see the reasons and benefits of working as ONE team. To create shared ownership, get the team to brainstorm what the reasons and benefits are, or could be, of being a team. Once there are compelling reasons, teamwork becomes a ‘no-brainer’, it would be silly not to! To further embed this conviction, share stories of other teams who have achieved more because they have embraced teamwork. Sports teams are a great metaphor for this.
Solution 3: Virtual teams – create closeness like in onsite teams
When your team members are located in different locations, a lot of the natural teaming that can happen in day-to-day conversations and interactions is not there, and focused effort will be needed to create team spirit. Talk to the team and make them aware of how this can be done, and ask for their ideas too. Here are some ideas and considerations:
Face-to-face meetings | If possible, bring the team together face-to-face for kick-offs, wrap-ups and celebrations, as well as conflict resolution. At an individual level, hold performance appraisals face-to-face whenever possible. |
Create a team charter | A team charter gives the complete picture of a team, what it does and how it will do it. This makes it easier for a team to operate and be successful and is a must for a team who wants to maximise their success. Work as a team to create a crystal clear team charter, which outlines the team’s purpose, goals and plans, resources needed, roles and responsibilities and operating guidelines (how we will work together). A team charter that is created by everyone, is owned by everyone and therefore is carried out by everyone. |
Conference calls | Always have an agenda for the call, so everyone knows what to expect and can prepare. Keep in mind that it’s absolutely OK to have creative, open-ended brainstorming meetings over the phone too. Make sure everyone has photos of all team members, which you can look at when the respective people are talking. Or you can use equipment that allows for visual links into the conference call. This creates more of a face-to-face feeling. Take turns facilitating the calls. |
Make use of technology | Have online chat rooms where team members can interact with each other in a more informal way. This can be a quick way of updating each other on things that everyone needs to be aware of. Another way of using a chat room is to have a ‘virtual coffee morning or tea break’ where team members can have a quick break with their colleagues at a given time. |
Create work sub-teams | Where it makes sense, form sub-teams to work on specific initiatives for a given time, to maximise exchange of ideas and experience as well as building team spirit. |
Solution 4: Get to ‘we’ talk
Make a habit of using ‘we’ talk. When you talk about the team, with the team or outside it, use words that demonstrate your commitment to the team, and encourage others to do the same. Here are some examples:
- We have some great opportunities to …
- Together we can …
- How can we solve this together?
- What are the next steps we should take?
- This is what I will do for us …
Solution 5: Create transferable team skills set
Whatever you learn in a team, you can take to the next team. Teamwork is never wasted. If you’re in a team, you might as well throw yourself in completely and embrace the teamwork and the learning it gives. You can then go to the next team with the knowledge of how to build and maintain a strong team, whether you are a leader or a team member. Make use of your transferable team skill set.
Solution 6: Talk respectfully to each other
It’s not just about what you say, it’s much more about how you say it. Think about how you talk to or respond to a colleague. One example could be having to say no to a colleague who is asking for your help. You may want to help but you also need to leave as you are picking up your child from school. You can either just say, ‘No, I can’t do it’ or you can say, ‘I’d really like to help. Unfortunately I am just about to leave to pick up my son Peter, he’s waiting outside school. Can I help you tomorrow?’ Which answer would you rather be the receiver of? So as you can see, it’s not the what, it’s all about the how.
Another aspect of respectful language is reflected in how you give each other feedback on both strengths and development areas. Peer-to-peer coaching is a very powerful way to develop and grow as individuals and as a team. Give feedback with the other person’s best interest in mind, share your specific observations and the impact of what you have observed, positively or constructively. Show that you care; use words, tone of voice and body language that convey a message of genuine interest and goodwill.
Solution 7: The answers are in the team
Everyone brings their knowledge, ideas and answers to a team. No one can have all the answers, which is why great teams make sure they involve everyone in creative processes and fact finding. Encourage team members to let their guards down and willingly admit that they don’t know everything, and are open to the input of others, not being threatened by any perceived superiority of others.
Solution 8: Learn about and use the cultures in the team
Globalisation means that more and more teams are becoming multi-cultural, with members from different cities, regions and countries. This is a great source of diversity, which can add to the team’s knowledge and expertise. Take time to learn about each other’s cultures, looking for the opportunities in the differences rather than the threats of unfamiliarity. Keep asking yourself the question: What different backgrounds do we have in the team that might be useful and/or give unique insight right now? By doing so, you will add to your team’s Cultural Intelligence (CQ), which can be said to be a subset to Emotional Intelligence (EQ) or Social Intelligence (SQ).
Solution 9: Rally together to overcome a shared challenge
There’s nothing quite like a challenge to bring people together. It’s often said that in times of crises, people stand side by side. Why wait for a crisis to work together? Start working together now and get your team focused on the shared challenge you have. Learn from any crisis that you have been through and take that learning into your everyday teamwork.
Let’s have a look at what Davide, Fred and Jon could have done instead, had they deployed these solutions.
The weekly conference call with the team was in full swing.
‘So, where are we with the plans for the project in Düsseldorf, Fred?’ queried Davide.
‘We are progressing to plan. Everything’s in hand, there are no issues to report.’ As usual, Fred’s response was brief and to the point, and always positive.
Jon was slightly uncomfortable. He knew Fred better than a few months ago but he still was questioning if he was getting the whole story any time that Fred opened his mouth. Jon decided to speak up.
‘Fred, I’m sure that things are moving along fine. Let me just share though; when I was in Düsseldorf last week, I attended a project meeting where there was some concern over the end-of-quarter deadline for Phase 2. Maybe I don’t quite know all the ins and outs of operations in Germany, so I was hoping we could have a look at where we are with this together’.
Fred responded.
‘I appreciate you asking. There are some aspects of how we operate that may be the reason for the discrepancy. Let me explain.’ Fred continued to share the whole story. When he was done, Jon spoke again.
‘Thanks, that was really helpful actually. I’ve learnt something new today. And it’s given me some ideas for how we could work on our next project. I think we should get some more collaboration going between our different locations, to share best practices and challenge the status quo.’
Fred was pleased that Jon had expressed gratitude and admitted that he had learnt from Fred. It felt good and it made him willing to explore the idea of collaboration.
Davide nodded to himself, impressed with how his direct reports were taking shared responsibility without him having to be the one to ask for it. Yes, things were starting to progress nicely with the team.
Behaviours of team and leader
Under ‘Solutions’ above, we have listed a number of ‘how to’ actions. These solutions work best when carried out with these supporting ‘how to’ behaviours. The actions on their own will get you only so far. With the right behaviours you can get a team working together more effectively, ‘all for one and one for all’.
Thoughts and feelings of team and leader
On average, a person experiences around 70.000 thoughts per day.1 Many of those thoughts are habits that affect a person’s mindset or outlook.
What we think affects how we feel, and how we feel affects how we think.
When wanting to get a team working together, ‘all for one and one for all’, actively replace thoughts and feelings that are counterproductive to that. Here are thoughts from the story, their impact on feelings and how they can be changed.
Summary
Honour your time
Getting a team to be like the three musketeers – ‘all for one and one for all’ – is not a utopia. It is most definitely a possibility that all teams should consider. If you’re in a team, you may as well really be in it. Working together side by side is about making the most of the fact that you are a team. It’s about honouring your time and efforts at work by seeing yourself as a full-time member of the team, not just an individual contributor.
Get the whole team talking
Imagine how great it would feel to be part of a team where everyone is happy to do things for the good of the team and not just themselves. Get the whole team talking about the possibilities of excellent teamwork based on generosity and inclusion and start to reap the rewards.
Reflection questions for the reader
- How willing am I to admit to not having all the answers?
- How can I best show respect to my team members?
- What can I learn today from being a member of this team?
- How can we make our conference calls more interesting, effective and valuable?
- What is our key challenge right now, which we can all rally behind?
- What transferable team skills do I have?
Self-assessment
After you have implemented the solutions in this chapter, answer these questions again to see the progress you have made.
How would you rate the following in your team?
