Chapter 1
Who You Are

So you think you want to start a business. Or maybe you already have but it’s not yet as swimmingly successful as you’d hoped. Or maybe it’s successful but you don’t feel the sense of satisfaction you had expected. Whatever the situation, it’s important to be clear about who you are and what you are setting out to do. As you know, things don’t always go the way you imagined they would. That’s why having both a strong foundation and a solid plan is so important. They will help you weather the storms and endure the inevitable setbacks.

There are serial entrepreneurs out there who simply look for viable businesses and a market that will buy their wares so they can make some money. But in all our years of coaching mom entrepreneurs, not one of our clients has chosen this approach to business. Instead, most moms tend to yearn for purposeful work that provides us the freedom, flexibility, and fulfillment we crave. We want to be there for our child(ren), and we want to do work that matters to us. Of course, we also want to make money, but if that’s the only thing driving you, there are easier ways to make a living than owning a business.

We’ll begin with a surprise. (Who doesn’t love a good surprise?) The first step toward planning your business as a mom entrepreneur actually has nothing to do with the business at all. Nope, this first big step is not determining what the business is, but who you are. It doesn’t matter at this point what you plan on selling or how you plan to market and deliver it. (Of course, these elements are critical, but we’ll sort them out later.) What matters is who you are and what your unique goals are.

Designing your own path might not be as simple as you think it is, because it’s easy to be swayed by outside forces. In fact, you might be living a life that turned out the way it did because it’s what your mom wanted for you. It could be the way it is because it’s what your partner thought was best. Or it could be that you created your current life based on what seemed safest or what felt like the path of least resistance. We are bombarded with messages from the media, from friends and family, and even from our own inner voice about how things are “supposed” to be. So as you go through the exercises in this book, we challenge you to check in to make sure the voice that is answering the questions is your own. It’s absolutely essential to answer the questions for yourself without worrying about what others expect from you or what you think you should choose. From a space of calm reflection, we’re going to ask you to purposefully reflect on how you want things to be. That’s the only way to see what changes you need to make to true up your current life with the one you want going forward. It helps you quiet the noise that can so easily influence everything you do.

This is also a great time to look at the ideals and standards you might be trying to live up to. For instance, if you want your home to look like a Pottery Barn store or think your family should resemble the models in a J. Crew catalog, you have to be willing to do the work it takes to create a life like that. In other words, does spending a lot of your time and money on perfect hair and beautiful bookshelves correlate with the idea you have for your life and your business? If so, great! (We’d love to be invited over to hang out in that flawless house of yours.) If not, though, it’s time to stop trying to achieve someone else’s ideas of what life should look like. If you tend to judge yourself against some perfect version of what life can be, it’s worth considering whether that version of life is really what you want. Even if everyone around you seems to want their life to look a certain way, that does not mean you have to want that too. We are talking about your life, after all, and as long as you spend your time and energy on what’s most important to you, you’re sure to be on a path that leads to your vision.

So let’s find out more about you. Read the following statements and respond by placing a number from 1 to 10 in the blank. A 1 means you don’t agree with the statement at all, and a 10 means that you agree with it completely. Choose the number that you feel best represents where you are right now.

_____ 1.	My day-to-day life is filled with purposeful activities that align with my priorities and values.
_____ 2.	I have my own definition of success and a plan to achieve it.
_____ 3.	I have a good balance of work time, family time, and personal time in my typical week.
_____ 4.	My work is fulfilling and I look forward to it most days.
_____ 5.	My day-to-day activities utilize and highlight my strengths, skills, and style in a way that makes me feel as though I contribute to my family and community.
_____ 6.	I’m clear on my priorities and make sure that they show up first and foremost in my life.
_____ 7.	I almost always choose activities that play to my strengths and try to limit tasks that don’t.
_____ 8.	My family and friends support my choices, encourage me to be my best self, and help me when I need it.
_____ 9.	I spend time planning for the future, have an idea of what is next for me, and know when it will all likely happen.
_____ 10.	I’m energized by my work and excited about the future.
_____ 11.	My time is well spent and I am usually able to avoid being late and feeling rushed.
_____ 12.	I say no to opportunities that I simply don’t have time to take on.
_____ 13.	I build and maintain strong connections with people who can help me and with those whom I can help.
_____ 14.	I have a strong sense of who I am and what’s most important to me.
_____ 15.	I am living a life that works for me, not the life that someone else expected me to live.
_____ 16.	I have good stress relief habits and take extra care with myself when I start to feel tension creeping in.
_____ 17.	I make sure I have free time to do the things I love to do.
_____ 18.	I know I can’t do it all on my own and I regularly ask for help when I need it.
_____ 19.	My work has a meaningful purpose for me.
_____ 20.	I find time to fit in fun with family and friends on a regular basis.
_____ 21.	I take good care of myself physically by eating well and finding time to work out.
_____ 22.	I feel as though I can keep up with my life, and I know how to keep from getting overwhelmed by all of the little things coming at me on a daily basis.
_____ 23.	I take ample time away from work, including days off during the week and weeks off during the year.
_____ 24.	I have realistic expectations about what I can get done during this phase of my life.
_____ 25.	I feel as though I have enough time to work steadily toward my goals and aspirations.

This assessment is meant to provide you with a snapshot of your life in this moment. Follow these scoring directions to better understand which areas need your attention:

Total the scores you gave for questions 1, 4, 6, 14, and 24. This score will help you understand how well you know and honor the things that are most important to you.

Write the total here: _____

If your score is between 40 and 50, you likely have a strong sense of your values, motivations, and priorities, and you do a good job of making sure that your life reflects those things.

A mid-range score (25-39) may indicate that you either aren’t clear on what makes you tick, or, even if you are clear, your day-to-day life doesn’t reflect that very well.

A score of 24 or lower probably means that you need to make this area a priority for now. Pay special attention to the parts of your life that aren’t going the way you’d like them to and spend some time getting clear about your needs and wants.

Now total the scores you gave for questions 2, 9, 10, 15, and 19.

Write the total here: _____

If your score is between 40 and 50, you likely have a very strong understanding of what you want for your future. Being able to clearly envision success on your own terms makes you well equipped to pursue and reach your goals.

A mid-range score (25-39) indicates that you have some ideas about what you want but that those ideas could be even more focused. Scoring in the middle range here might also mean that you need to make sure that your definition of success is yours and yours alone.

A score of 24 or lower indicates that you would benefit from spending some time thinking about all that you want in both your life and your business. Once you do, you’ll feel more in charge and begin to notice big changes in your life.

Now total the scores you gave for questions 3, 11, 12, 22, and 25. These questions have to do with time management.

Write the total here: _____

A high score here (40-50) shows that you have a great handle on how you spend your time and how you schedule your days.

A score in the middle range (25-39) reveals that you could make some simple changes when it comes to your schedule that will allow you to get more done in less time.

A score lower than 25 means that you likely spend your days rushing around without much to show for the time spent. Pay special attention to managing your time and implement some small changes that will make your days less harried and more productive. (We’ll show you how to do that later.)

Now total the scores you gave for questions 16, 17, 20, 21, and 23. These questions have to do with self-care.

Write the total here: _____

A high score here (40-50) shows that you most likely have a good self-care routine in place. Keep up the good work and look for ways to add to it.

A score of 25 to 39 lets you know that there is some work to be done here. As moms, we tend to forget to put ourselves on our to-do list. As a mom entrepreneur, you simply can’t afford to make that mistake. Make it a priority to create some self-care habits.

A low score (less than 24) means you have a lot of room for improvement. Focusing on this area and adding in some specific self-care routines will set you on your way to making yourself a priority and ensuring that you’ll have the stamina to handle all that comes your way.

Now total the scores you gave for questions 5, 7, 8, 13, and 18.

Write the total here: _____

If you are conscious of your strengths, skills, and talents, and use them to your benefit on a regular basis, it’s likely you scored a 40 or higher.

A score between 25 and 39 indicates that you need to become even more aware of all that you have available to you and how you can use those things to benefit you in both business and in life.

A score lower than 24 shows that you likely haven’t taken the time to catalog all of your strengths, skills, and talents, and/or that you aren’t leveraging them in a way that will help you get ahead.

Use this assessment to better understand the areas of your life where you have things handled and where you need to do a bit of work. Small changes can have a big impact, so don’t let a score that is lower than you’d like discourage you. This assessment is just a starting point. Because the goal of this book is to help you increase your satisfaction with your life and your work, let’s keep going.

Your Values, Motivators, Priorities, and Passions

First we’re going to spend some time looking at your values, your motivators, your priorities, and your passions. For many of us, these things can be interchangeable, and when you’re making a list of each of them, you will likely find some overlap. For instance, if you value family, you might also be very motivated by taking good care of your family, and family might also show up as both a priority and a passion. That’s okay. In fact, that can even make it easier for you because when something makes it on more than one of your lists, you are pretty likely to pay attention to it. When we are talking about values, motivators, priorities, and passions, we are talking about the things that are most important to who you are and how you operate. When you have a good understanding of what those things are, you are going to have a much easier time making the decisions, changes, and choices you need to make in your life and in your business.

You are going to articulate some of the things that are most important to you and some of the things that will help drive you forward. You’ll likely notice that it’s not possible to give equal attention to each of them every day. For example, if innovation and independence are two of your top values or motivators but you find yourself in a financial hole, you may need to leave those on the shelf for a while so you can earn the money you need to keep your family afloat. That doesn’t mean you are abandoning those things altogether; sometimes you just have to take care of the basics first. Once you are stable again, that’s the time to start looking at how you can honor your need for innovation and independence. When you know what your values, motivators, priorities, and passions are, you can almost effortlessly create some effective guideposts for future happiness and satisfaction.

Now grab a pen and some paper. Throughout this book, when you see this icon

you’ll know you need to be ready to make some notes or answer some questions.

Your Values

Imagine that you’re 90 years old. You look back on your life, and you feel incredibly satisfied with what you see. At this ripe old age, you’ve gotten rid of the shoulds in your life and you spend your days doing the things that matter most to you. You no longer worry about every little hiccup or what other people think. You’re at peace.

From this place of wisdom, think about what is most important to you. In coach-speak, we call these things values. As the name suggests, these are the things on which we place the most value in both life and work, and they are also some of the things by which we (consciously or subconsciously) measure ourselves to see if our life is turning out the way we had hoped it would. Our values are often integral traits that remain fairly consistent throughout our lives, so checking in with them is a great way to figure out why we don’t feel as satisfied as we want to.

When we live in a way that matches our core values, we feel satisfied and the road feels smooth. Conversely, when our values are out of whack, the opposite is true. So you can see how important it is to make a conscious effort to identify and live by your own values. Although largely inherent, your personal values can evolve in time, because you evolve in time, so it’s important to revisit them. Failing to consciously identify and keep track of your values can lead to a lot of frustration and wasted effort. Because we want the opposite of frustration and wasted effort for you, we suggest you take a moment to think about and journal on your top five values right now.

Here is a brief list to get you going. This list is far from exhaustive so feel free to come up with your own words that express your personal values.

abundance	achievement	adventure
creativity	excellence	family
freedom	friendship	health
honesty	humor	independence
inner harmony	integrity	joy
kindness	loyalty	order
personal development	power	recognition
relationships	responsibility	respect
security	simplicity	trust
wealth	wholeness	wisdom

Now that you know what we mean by values and have had a chance to think about it, write down your top five values.

Your Motivations

What motivates you in life and in business? What keeps you going day after day? You need to know the answer to these questions whether you’re just starting to think about creating a business or you are already running one. Is this work something you feel you were meant to do? Is it the kind of work that makes you thrilled to get up in the morning? Is it work that came about because you saw a problem in the world that you knew you could fix? Does it help provide the life you want for your family? Whatever your motivation is, you need to name it and own it. Your motivators will always be there, helping you make choices and moving you toward your goals, so make sure you are clear on what is driving you.

We’ve worked with women who thought they were working for one reason, but after giving it careful thought, realized they were actually motivated to run their own companies because of some very strong beliefs, goals, or dreams. For example, one of our clients started a company simply believing she had a marketable idea for a product. One thing led to another, and the fairly quick success of her brand proved that she had been right. However, she soon realized that in order to really feel successful, she needed to acknowledge and act on her strong desire to give back to her community. It wasn’t something that was in her business plan from the beginning but it became a driving force for her company.

Being clear about what motivates you will be especially important when you hit a rough patch. On those days, getting in touch with your motivators will help you keep going even if you feel like giving up.

Spend a few minutes thinking about what motivates you. Here are some common motivators:

Flexibility

Autonomy

Freedom

Your children

Building a better life

Helping others

The desire to create something

Ability to give back

Doing something you love

We could go on and on, but now it’s your turn. Ask yourself about your main motivations and write them down.

Your Priorities

Our goal is for you to get to a place where you can keep up with all of the responsibilities and tasks in your personal life and manage your business. The best way to do this is to get really clear on the things that matter the most to you: your priorities. This is one of the biggest factors that sets mom entrepreneurs apart from other entrepreneurs. Although everyone gets to decide for him- or herself what his or her priorities are, when you are a mom, your priorities always include your kids in one way or another. Priorities have a huge function in the life of a mom entrepreneur. They become your boss. By that we mean that it’s your priorities that will help you decide where to put your focus and how best to spend your time.

Your most valuable asset—and also your scarcest resource—is your time. Your kids need you, your clients need you, your partner needs you, your team needs you… and that’s just the beginning. The school fundraising committee wants your help with the auction. Your mother is hoping you will plan this year’s family reunion. You’d really like to spend some quality time volunteering the way you used to. Perhaps, if you try really hard and are a master multitasker you can get all that done and still make time to be the snack mom for your son’s soccer game or your daughter’s swim meet.

How on earth can a mom entrepreneur do it all? The obvious answer is, she can’t. You can’t. If you want to run a business while raising a family, you’re going to need to get comfortable saying the word no a lot more than you’re used to. There is no way anyone can do it all, and, honestly, we don’t see the value of trying. Even though you can’t do it all, you can do the things you really want to do. And that’s a consideration we’re going to ask you to make: saying no to some things means you’ll be able to say yes to the things that matter the most. We’ll go into this more in Chapter 3.

Moms Talk

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I do have guilt. I have tons of it, and it’s “mother guilt,” it’s “CEO guilt,” it’s “daughter guilt.” You name it, I’ve got it. And I think it’s because we feel like we have to be perfect in all we do. There is no way that you can do the perfect job at any of those if you’re doing so many of them. So I think you have to trust that you’re getting the big stuff done. What are the big priorities for you as a mother? Or what are the big priorities for you as a CEO? And focus on those. You have to let some stuff go.

—Sharelle Klaus, Dry Soda

I am pretty sure every working mama has guilt leaving her kids. In addition, I envisioned that I would be this picturesque wife, mom, friend, daughter, sister, and I am FAR from that. There are not enough hours in a day to be all of those things. I have a 7-month-old and a 3.5-year-old, and at this point in my life, I am just trying to survive! Truthfully, I don’t deal with the guilt. It’s always there, and it’s always going to be there. I am working on accepting this fact, and doing the best that I can with the time that I have.

—Kristy Lewis, Quinn Popcorn

As a single mom running a very demanding business, my biggest hurdle every day is that I feel like there is never enough time. Looking at a daily to-do list can be very overwhelming and paralyzing because there’s always so much to do. I find that asking myself, “What’s on my A-list today?” helps tremendously to prioritize and get perspective on what’s most important. Taking care of the must-dos first helps clear my mind so I can focus on what’s next.

—Debra Gano, BYOU (Be Your Own You) Magazine

For now, we want you to pick the four main priorities in your life. That’s right—only four. You see, for it to be called a priority, you just can’t have 17 things that are “most important.” Some things matter more than others, and it’s up to you to choose which ones are which. As we mentioned earlier, it’s a really bad idea to ask others (your husband, your mother, or your friend) to decide on your priorities. It’s also not a good idea to choose the things you think should be priorities. It takes courage to pick what matters most to you and to agree to let some of the other areas of your life be less important.

So what are your priorities? Here are some examples to get you started:

Financial security

Quality family time

A healthy marriage

A thriving business

Saving for the future

Children’s education

Physical health

Personal wellbeing

Being known as an expert

Thriving children

Your priorities may come straight from this list or they may be completely different. That’s the point. They are yours and yours alone. So, think about your life and the things that are truly the most important to you. These are the things that must be nurtured and paid attention to, no matter what.

Write down your top four priorities.

Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.

—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

We like to say that integrity means keeping the promises you make to yourself. By choosing your priorities, you are promising that those are the things you’ll take care of; those are the things that will get top billing in your life. If you say that health and well-being are priorities and then you take up smoking, well, that’s a problem. When you fail to keep your promises to yourself, you create pain and angst that just don’t need to be there. And, because we aren’t able to compartmentalize things (as much as we’d like to think we can), guess what else is affected? Everything. Including your business.

In a country where the workplace is structured around an ideal worker who’s on call 24/7 and motherhood is characterized by the model of a mother always available to her children, it’s hard to balance work and family.

—Joan C. Williams and Rachel Dempsey, What Works for Women at Work: Four Patterns Working Women Need to Know

That’s why it is so important to be really honest when you are deciding on your priorities. We said this earlier, but it bears repeating: If you choose your priorities based on what you think should be important or based on what you think others might want you to say, you are setting yourself up for failure—both personally and professionally.

There’s no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.

—Jill Churchill

Once you have your priorities in place, it becomes much easier to decide if an activity or new opportunity is right for you. Let’s say you’ve decided that growing your business is a top priority and that gaining exposure for your company is a smart way to work toward the growth you are looking for. Then suppose a colleague calls to ask you if you’d like to write a monthly blog post for her readers who fit your target market. Thanks to your list of priorities, you decide that it makes sense to simply add this task to your calendar or possibly stop doing something else to make time for this monthly activity. Voila! Suddenly your schedule closely matches up with your goals and priorities. In case you need us to connect the dots for you, that’s a very good thing. We will talk about this more in Chapter 3.

We want to mention that priorities are not set in stone. They will change as you, your business, and your family grow and change. Because of that, we recommend taking a look at your priorities at least twice a year so you can make sure they are still a reflection of you, your life, and your goals. If they aren’t, it’s easy enough to make some adjustments.

Moms Talk

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In 2010, I got my first $10 million project to widen the Alaska Highway. That spring my husband, Andrew, and I bought a house in London, Ontario. We both started our new jobs (his in London, mine in Fort St. John). Andrew moved into our new house on his own. Our daughter, Sophie, who was 2 at the time, was still with me, so we flew to London, I dropped her off with Andrew, and I left to run this big job for seven months by myself.

While I was away working on the job, Andrew and Sophie came to visit me for about six days. There was a lot of judgment around us—people were speculating that our marriage must be falling apart, that our arrangements were going to damage Sophie, and they were especially questioning how we could prioritize my business over our family.

But the reality is that our marriage grew stronger, our family grew stronger, the people in the business trusted us more, and Sophie will to this day say, “I love my dad because he took care of me when I was a baby.” Dad had an opportunity to be the shining star in a marriage that works. I could have said, “No, I’m not taking this job,” but it was a pivot point that positioned me to be where I am in my career and where we are in our life.

I truly lived out the notion that I believed I was capable of doing this thing very much on my own but also as a benefit to my family. Furthermore, I’ve always kept in the back of my mind the fact that Andrew’s family has a history of heart attacks and strokes. I’ve always worried what would happen if he died at 50 and I end up on my own. I’ve had the opportunity to prove to myself that I really can handle all this. To hell with everyone’s opinion of my marriage and my choices.

Of course, it goes both ways. There are times when I’ve said no to the bank, that I’m not coming in for a meeting because my daughter is sick, and in that moment, my family just trumped my business. I make no apologies to anyone.

—Kelsey Ramsden, Canada’s Top Female Entrepreneur, Belvedere Place Development

Maybe when I’m at a different point in my life, when my kids get older or when I have more time to travel, I might get that loan, launch more products, and do all of the trade shows that I was so excited about. But now is not the time for that for me.

—Andreea Ayers, Launch Grow Joy

To me, managing priorities is about keeping focused on the big picture. There are many things that bring you joy in the world; your job is only one of them. I try to live a balanced life, and don’t feel bad about treating myself right, because if I am healthy and happy I will be a better mother, wife, and business owner.

—Veronica Bosgraaf, PURE Bar

Your Passions

Let’s not forget the power of your passions. Passion is one of those words that is volleyed to and fro, but what does it really mean? And how important is it when you’re starting or growing a business? Passions are the things in life that excite you, the things that make you come alive. From talking to hundreds of mom entrepreneurs, we’ve come to realize that passion really can play a huge role in your quest for success. We’ve all heard the saying, attributed to Marsha Sinetar, that goes, “Do what you love and the money will follow.” It doesn’t always hold true, but we will say that success, financial and otherwise, does frequently follow when you are driven by a passion. We haven’t encountered many mom entrepreneurs who are doing what they do just for the money. So, as you pursue your vision for your business, it’s likely going to help if there is some aspect about it you love.

This doesn’t mean you have to sell a product or provide a service that you are absolutely passionate about, though that is a big plus, of course. If you’re not particularly passionate about your product, you should have a passion for at least a part of what you do. For instance, if you absolutely love to speak or write or create videos, make sure that you incorporate that passion into the way you promote your business. We’ll give you an example: Lara loves sharing her experience by speaking to groups of people. Because of this, she makes sure that she pursues paid speaking gigs as part of her work with her company, Mom Biz Coach. Sure, there are still some parts of running her business that she is less passionate about, so she delegates and outsources as much of that as possible, knowing that it’s always easier and more productive to do the things you love to do. If you can incorporate a passion into your business, it’s like icing on the cake.

Moms Talk

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Life is too short. If you have the passion to do something, go for it! Surround yourself with people who share in your vision and your passion. Work hard, accept failure, learn from it, and move on. And don’t forget to enjoy your successes and achievements.

—Grace Welch, Patemm Inc.

My business is derived completely from passion. I didn’t choose it. The business chose me. I saw a problem, which I knew I could fix, then couldn’t not fix it. The business ultimately formed itself around those passion-driven actions over the course of several years. What we do now, for whom we do it, the people involved, the products we create, even our investors—there is no part of our brand that isn’t passion-driven. In the early days, I spent many hours, which turned into months, getting clear on our core values and deciding whether or not to launch into running a business full-time—on whether or not to support the business fully and let it grow. I didn’t necessarily know the steps to get there, but once I made the choice to start, there was really nothing that could stop me.

Even still, 10 years later, I wake up every day (at 3 or 4 a.m.) knowing that I could fail, but I don’t care. Today, staying true to our passions is at the foundation of our core values and every decision we make. The clarity our team has regarding the value of our work keeps us going—we keep each other going. And importantly, we all know where we are going at the end of the day—at least at the high level. Ultimately those values are what allow us to make the toughest decisions and then trust in those decisions. If you are clear on who you are and what drives you, there is no decision too tough or too complex. Executing on any given decision could be ridiculously hard, but you never wonder what to do, just how to get it done. You know. And then simply have to be willing to connect the dots and accept any consequence.

—Kim Walls, Episencial

I started my business as a single mom of a I-year-old with very little support. So often I wondered if I was crazy to be taking the risk. But my passion to help young girls was more powerful than my fear. Find what you are passionate about and that passion will draw support to you and outshine all the challenges that you encounter along the way.

—Debra Gano, BYOU (Be Your Own You) Magazine

In fact, if you never get the chance to pursue the things you are passionate about, you might wind up feeling dissatisfied. So, even if your business and your passions don’t coincide, it’s worth it to articulate what those passions are so you can look for ways to incorporate them into your life in another way. A potential hiccup is that some of us have either forgotten how to pursue them or have been told that pursuing them is only for the naïve. Some of us aren’t even sure what they are anymore because we’ve been taught that going after them just isn’t practical. Quiet those thoughts and think about the things you are passionate about.

As we mentioned, your passions make you come alive, and we can’t think of a better way to pursue being both a mom and an entrepreneur than from a place of feeling absolutely full of life. With that in mind, think about what you are passionate about. Write down what comes to mind.

Follow your passion, and success will follow you.

—Terri Guillemets

Keep this list handy because passionate people are magnetic people. In addition, doing something you are passionate about can help you get back in touch with yourself when you hit the inevitable dips that happen when you own your own business—especially when you own a business and have the added responsibility of being a mom.

Your Life

It’s such a broad heading: your life. What we mean by life in this context is all of the components and circumstances that are part of your day-to-day existence. Those details give you clues about your values, attitudes, and desires. They can also help you uncover both your possibilities and your current limitations.

Moms Talk

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Our path has had a very zigzag pattern to it, with many fits and starts. A few years back we decided we wanted to work together, so we brain-stormed on how best to use our creative talents and professional strengths in a business venture. We both felt a readiness to work, but knew that the business had to enhance our individual lives while not detracting from our family lives. It was a practical approach, but also one that allowed us to stretch the possibilities of what our business could be without trying to squeeze ourselves into Cinderella’s glass slipper

Just as we formulated our business plans and were ready to launch, life got in the way. We found ourselves wooed by opportunities that led us back to our old careers. Fast-forward a few years and the commitment to get the business off the ground and the desire to work together were stronger than ever. We reached the point where we had to decide either to move forward or to put the idea to rest once and for all. We chose to keep going, and as soon as we did, everything started falling into place. Clients started calling and we found the perfect person to join our team. Making the commitment to the business—once we were both in the right place—started the ball rolling, and Tweak has continued to grow since then.

—Kathryn Cree Bouchard and Gabby Roffey, Tweak

Let’s take a mental snapshot of your life as it is right now. Are you married? Separated? Divorced? Are you employed? Are you the main breadwinner for your family? Do you live in a city? In the suburbs? On a farm? How is your health? How is the health of your kids and/or partner? Do you need to exercise on a regular basis to feel your best or to manage a health condition? How old are your kids? How involved do you want or need to be in their activities? Is it important to you to be around when your kids get home from school? Do you cherish time alone or time with friends, or both? The circumstances of our lives are specific to us and have a profound impact on everything, so that’s why we ask. Take a minute to acknowledge the details of your life. If you have young children who aren’t yet in school, and you have a priority of spending a lot of time with them, then your business (and the rate at which it grows) will be different than it would be for someone whose children are at school or in the care of someone else during the workday. We aren’t saying one is better than another. We are simply saying: take a close look at what is possible right now based on your circumstances and what’s important to you. (If you need a reminder about what’s most important to you, refer to the Priorities section.)

By the way, this is not meant to limit you. In fact, knowing your parameters will help you make realistic choices about how your business can move forward, which is actually very freeing. And, so that we aren’t glossing this over, we also want you to be really honest with yourself when looking at your life circumstances. If, for instance, you are the sole breadwinner or you’re pregnant or you’re dealing with a health issue (either yours or someone else’s), it may not be the right time to start or grow a business. That can be a hard truth to face, but it’s better to face it than to struggle against the reality of your life. We could go on and on, but we bet you get the picture. The point we are making is that when you are a mom, the circumstances of your life are very important when it comes to choosing the work that you do. In fact, we might even go so far as to say that your circumstances (along with what’s most important to you) dictate the work that is possible for you to do. With this in mind, write down the details of your life that could impact your ability to start or grow a business.

Assuming there are no deal-breakers in your list, let’s move on to Chapter 2, where you will get a chance to envision your life in the future.

Bottom Line

In order to begin creating a successful company and a happy life as a mom entrepreneur, you need to get clear on where you are today and what factors will impact you and your ability to start or grow a business.

The four key elements that determine how we usually make decisions are our values, motivators, priorities, and passions.

Be careful when you name your values, motivators, priorities, and passions. It’s easy to feel influenced by what others want or what you think you should want.

Take a close look at the circumstances of your life so you will know what’s possible as well as any potential limitations that could affect your ability to own a business.