1
Stop Doing What Isn’t Working

NOT TOO LONG after we got married, my wife and I got into a rut. We were working dead-end jobs for bosses we didn’t like and were barely making enough money to pay the monthly bills. We were happy as a couple, yet we were unhappy with our professional lives. Between the two of us, we had racked up more than six figures in student loan debt. In addition, we had moved to an area of town that was more affordable and closer to our jobs, but this had taken us farther away from our friends and the coastal part of San Diego we loved most. Despite our best efforts, we couldn’t see how our situation was going to change any time soon.

I started teaching at two community colleges in the evenings to supplement the income from both of our full-time jobs. We also started selling personalized gifts at the local flea market—not exactly our strong suit, but my wife had a knack for calligraphy and I was decent at sales. Every weekend we’d haul display cases, folding tables and chairs, and all of our products in the back of my tiny convertible to our even tinier booth at the swap meet. It was quite a spectacle and an exhausting process. More than anything, though, we regretted the fact that we were working so hard and had so little to show for it.

One unseasonably hot Saturday after spending eight hours on the asphalt-paved flea market lot, we’d finally had enough. We were poor, stressed, and miserable. We were tired of trying to manage our odd jobs on top of our real jobs and still getting nowhere. It just wasn’t working! After a long talk that night, we agreed we needed to make a drastic change. We got out a map and decided that we were going to move to a place where it was much cheaper to live. While we hated to leave San Diego, we knew that one day we’d come back on our own terms when it was the right time.

Starting our new life adventure was an incredibly liberating experience. We resigned from our jobs and shut down our personalized gift business. We set new professional and personal goals. We worked out the logistics of moving and got excited about the future. What quickly became clear to us is that when you stop doing what isn’t working, you free up enormous amounts of creative, productive energy and liberate yourself from the shadow of regret.

Within a year after moving, we were able to get ourselves financially back on our feet and in active pursuit of our professional goals. I started writing my first book and worked on getting a consulting business off the ground while my wife was busy running a children’s nonprofit charity organization. The following year we were finally able to buy our first house, and soon after that we welcomed our first child into the world. We encountered plenty of obstacles along the way, but we just felt happier and more in control of our own lives.

Don’t expect life to be any different if you keep doing what you’ve always done. Whether you’re in a bad relationship, the wrong job, or a place in your life where you feel stuck, have the courage to shake things up and cut your losses. Free yourself from the regret of the situation you’re in and take a new direction. Stop doing what isn’t working so you can start doing what works.

Stop doing what
isn’t working so you
can start doing
what works.

∼ What in your life are you doing that isn’t working right now?

∼ If you stopped doing it, what would happen?