9
Stay in Touch

AT SOME POINT in life we begin to realize that maintaining friendships gets harder and harder. Like it or not, we all get busy and sometimes just don’t have enough time to keep up with everything—and everyone—in our world. Before we know it, we may start to grow distant from people we used to be close to and eventually lose track of their lives. Without frequency of interaction, our friendships can wither and fade, and for that we may wind up having regrets.

To keep your relationships alive, you must take the time to stay in touch. This requires conscious effort and is not always convenient or easy. Essentially, it means either being a good communicator or learning to become one. In other words, we have to take the initiative to find out what’s going on in other people’s lives and be willing to let them in on what’s happening in our world as well. The mere fact that our lives are so overscheduled and fast paced calls for creativity in our quest to stay in touch.

Dan Vishny is someone who knows how to step outside the box when it comes to staying in touch. Vish, as he prefers to be called, is an accountant by training who also has a penchant for vegan cooking and travel. One day Vish, while living in Chicago, was experimenting with a new vegan recipe when he got a call from a friend he used to cook with back in Eugene, Oregon. Although it was great to catch up, Vish was saddened by the fact that many of his closest friends were spread out across the country and that he hardly ever talked to them anymore. In addition, due to his busy work schedule and the pressures of raising a family, it was always either the wrong time to go visit or just too expensive.

Finally Vish decided that enough was enough. He made it his mission within the coming year to pay a personal house call to as many of the people he loved in life as he could, and he was determined to do it on a shoestring budget over a thirty-day period. Step one: he started saving money and his vacation days at work—even though he only got a few weeks off a year, the combination of sick leave and personal days would get him pretty close to what he needed. Step two: a few months later he bought a used recreational vehicle on eBay at a fire sale price with the money he had saved. Step three: he started making a month’s worth of veggie burritos to eliminate the lion’s share of food expenses for his family on the trip. Step four: he e-mailed his friends and told them to be on the lookout for a beat-up RV with Illinois plates.

The trip was an incredible experience for both his family and the friends that they visited from coast to coast. Friendships were rekindled and the way was paved for future reunions. Through Vish’s determination to stay in touch, what was initially a source of pain and regret had turned into a wellspring of happiness and reconnection.

The good news is that there are plenty of simple and easy things you can do to stay in touch. Start by remembering birthdays. Mail care packages and send updates on your life. Text a quick hello or “thinking of you” note. Chat on Facebook and leverage other social networking tools to connect with people you haven’t talked to for a while. Share traditions. Go for a weekend getaway together. Get on Skype. Return each other’s phone calls. Send recent pictures. Meet after work or take morning walks together if you live in the same town. Set a designated time to talk each week. Celebrate life events together. Show up unexpectedly. Plan a reunion. More than anything, be the friend that you want others to be. Remember that it’s never too late to start, regardless of how long it’s been since you’ve last talked.

Life can get in the way of relationships, and that can lead to regret. Commit to ensuring your friends don’t feel “de-prioritized” or taken for granted. Reach out regularly to the important people in your life and strengthen the lines of communication. Be tenacious about finding ways to get quality time with each other, even if it’s not in person or as frequent as you would like. Make a conscious effort to stay in touch. Nurture your relationships and see how they blossom.

Nurture your
relationships and
see how they blossom.

∼ Which of your relationships are in need of greater nurturing?

∼ What will you do to stay in touch?