17
Be True to What You Value Most

WE JUGGLE A lot of balls in life. But when we have too many balls in the air, some of them are bound to drop. For example, a few years ago I missed my son and daughter’s first day of school because I was out of town on business. Up until that point, I had been there every year for our family’s first-day-of-school tradition of getting up early with the kids, cooking a big breakfast for them, and then taking their pictures outside in the front yard. I had always put this date on my calendar way in advance, but this time I had to attend a client event that couldn’t be rescheduled.

If you’re a working parent, it’s unrealistic to think that you will be present for every special moment in your child’s life. However, one specific commitment I made to myself was that I’d always be there for my kids’ first day of school. Telling them that I wasn’t going to make it this time was heartbreaking for me. While I knew I had let them down, more than anything I was upset because I had let myself down.

No matter how many balls you have in the air, you have to put what’s most important first if you want to live your life with no more regrets. This experience was a pointed reminder for me, and as a result, I made a personal commitment to focus more on prioritizing my family, my marriage, and my quality of life. While it is certainly difficult at times, thus far I’ve curtailed my work with clients that requires frequent travel and have been transforming my business to one that is primarily done electronically, locally, and remotely.

In addition, I now regularly play catch or kick the soccer ball around with my son after school, sit in on my daughter’s electric guitar jam sessions, take more frequent family getaways, and do more of my share around the house. And as far as my kids’ first day of school goes? Rest assured that I’ve been there every year since with omelet pan and camera in hand.

Every one of us has a set of personal values that help guide us through life, but sometimes those values come into conflict and we have to make tough decisions. A good question to ask yourself during those times is, “What matters most?” This will force you to prioritize your values such that one of them winds up at the top of the list. While your entire set of values is important—for instance, maintaining a strong work ethic, being financially independent, honoring commitments, being happy, staying in shape, and spending time with family—the key is to figure out which one is the highest priority for you. Once you know the answer, you may have to make some important and potentially difficult changes in your life that include sacrificing one priority for the another. In the end, though, you’ll never look back with regret if you are being true to what you value most in life.

Be true to
what you value
most in life.

∼ What or who in your life is your top priority?

∼ When does this priority conflict with other priorities, and how do you resolve those conflicts?