24
Match Up with a Mentor

LIFE DOES NOT come with a user’s manual. There are no detailed instructions, no twenty-four-hour help desks, and no blueprints to follow for becoming financially successful, happily married, socially competent, or personally content. Without clear direction in life, we can easily become frustrated, lost, aimless, discouraged, or stuck in a rut, which in turn can be a source of regret. So how do we avoid this trap and the feelings of regret that come with it as we seek to achieve our goals?

Beyond relying on trial and error, risk taking, and raw creativity to get ahead in life, a viable strategy that is easy to put into practice is to match up with a mentor—someone who is a trusted guide, advisor, and counselor. Mentors impart knowledge, help us develop our skills, and teach us how to avoid regrets in life. They shed light on the big picture of life and share stories of how they got to where they are. They help us network and open new doors. They share tricks of the trade and serve as sounding boards when we are stuck or confused. They provide coaching and fresh perspectives. Ultimately, mentors can accelerate our learning curve and reduce some of the ambiguity in life.

An amazing mentor in my life has been Ken Blanchard, a renowned author and speaker whom I met early in my career. In college I saw a video in which he talked about the key principles from his book The One Minute Manager, and as a result I was inspired to apply for an internship position at his company while I was finishing school. At the age of twenty-one, I joined his firm as a part-timer making about four dollars an hour. But what I learned from Ken was worth more than I could ever put a price tag on. He taught me to see the potential in every human being and to have a clear vision for the future. He taught me to focus on catching people doing things right as opposed to ambushing them when they did something wrong. He also taught me that I need to celebrate the small wins in life and that humility didn’t mean thinking less of myself, just thinking about myself less. In a nutshell, he taught me some of the secrets to living a life free of regrets.

Ken once brought me into a company board meeting as a learning opportunity and had me sit at the table with the executives. Instead of positioning me as a young intern who would simply be an observer, he welcomed me as part of the team for the day and encouraged me to actively participate in the meeting. This helped build my confidence and prompted the group members to treat me as one of their own, even though I was half their age and new to the corporate world. It also taught me that setting the right tone and making people feel respected—regardless of their job title or experience—goes a long way. Matching up with Ken as a mentor helped clarify the path I wanted to take as both a professional and a person in terms of my values and behaviors, and it allowed me to avoid the regret of taking a lifetime to figure that out.

So how do you match up with a mentor? Where do you start? The process is actually quite simple and straightforward: identify people whom you think you can learn a lot from and then solicit their interest in mentoring you. In other words, be assertive and ask them for what you want. The script goes something like this and takes only a few seconds to deliver: “Hi, Pat. I’m impressed with what you’ve done with your life/career and I think I could learn a lot from you. Would it be okay if I called or e-mailed you from time to time to pick your brain and get some advice?” What do you think the person is going to say, “How dare you insult me like that”? Highly unlikely! You can bet that most people will be flattered by the request and will be more than willing to serve in some advisory capacity—you simply have to ask.

Take the initiative to match up with a mentor. Seek out people who are willing to show you the ropes. Observe them in action and take note of how they operate. Have them share with you what they’ve learned from both their successes and their failures. Match up with a mentor and learn the secrets of life from someone who has already been down that road.

Match up with a mentor
and learn the secrets
of life from someone
who has already been
down that road.

∼ In what area of your life would you benefit from a mentor?

∼ Whom will you ask to serve in this role?