Techniques for Assessing Needs
Ask Open-Ended Questions to Distinguish between Wants and Needs
After listening to the other party’s position, ask them “Why?” An even better question is “What does getting that do for you?” This mother-of-all-questions can help you get beneath the surface to the real reason for the other’s position. Ask “Why not?” to try to understand the other party’s reason for refusing to accept your position. Use “who, what, when, where, and how” questions as well to ensure that you completely understand his or her wants and needs.
Summarize and Paraphrase to Express Understanding
As the opening positions are stated and the exploring begins, step back and summarize. “As I understand it, you’re saying that a two-year contract is necessary to lock in this rate. Did I get that right?” Another technique involves arbitrary mirroring or stating back in no uncertain terms the firmness of the other’s position. “So, you’re saying there are no conditions under which you would accept less than full price?”
Use Silence Effectively to Encourage the Other Party to Open Up
In interpersonal communications, most of us are uncomfortable with silence. The old adage “The first one who speaks, loses” may seem glib, but test it yourself. In your next conversation, let 5 seconds to 10 seconds go by and see what happens. Silence can stimulate the other party to make a concession or reveal more about his or her position.
Listen with Empathy to the Other Person
Put yourself in the other party’s shoes. Analyze each issue and their position and ask yourself “What is the emotional content here?” Have they been frustrated by the lack of speed? Do they feel pushed by upper management to make this deal? As a skillful negotiator, you can build bridges of understanding with statements of empathy. “It sounds like that was very frustrating.” Use empathy to acknowledge areas of agreement: “I’m sensing we both feel the need to come away with a deal that our ___________ [clients, spouse, manager] will approve.”
Ask Follow-Up Questions
Once you ask a question and listen to the answer, follow up with a question to dig deeper. “So, the discount helps you pass along savings to your customers. What are some other ways you can add value to your customers?” Sometimes we want to go back to an issue that was raised previously but not explored. “Earlier you mentioned, payment terms. Tell me more about how that might help with your cash flow.”
Ask “What If?” and “What Else?”
Take the initiative to suggest some options. “What if we provided extra trucks during peak periods? Would that help you meet the tight delivery schedule?” When you have to say “No,” add “What else?” For example, “Since we can’t provide on-going training after the initial installation, what else could we do to make sure your operators can run the machines safely?” Encourage the other side to brainstorm and together think of alternatives. “Just for a moment, let’s step back and throw out some ideas about how to close this gap.”
Disclose and Encourage Psychological Reciprocity
To increase the likelihood that the agreement will satisfy your needs, disclose your interests and concerns. Disclosure is a powerful tactic. If you share information about your underlying needs, you increase the likelihood that the other person will reciprocate and share his or her underlying needs or concerns. You set up an expectation that the other side can follow. If they don’t, that’s a signal.
As you review the results of the Negotiation Style Survey, ask yourself: What are my strengths as a negotiator? What are my weaknesses? What can I do to address these? Building the key skills outside your comfort zone helps you modify your negotiation style and become a more versatile negotiator.