Two great posts I found online show me that it's not just me thinking about this. Tim Sanders says we should refresh our network[37] often, and Jeremiah Owyang reports on the risks and opportunities[38] inherent in your network. It's all pointing toward the same thing: You have to think consciously about how you use social networks, and you have to build relationships that are decoupled from goals.
In his presentations, Christopher S. Penn frequently quotes a phrase I use that visionary community and event builder Jeff Pulver told me on the first day of work: "You live or die by your database." Remember that I do lots of events, and that's partially why I say that, but it's also true for people in all areas of business. Think about this:
If you lose your job today, how many people can you reach, and who would be helpful? Think harder about the names of those people. Have you talked with them lately in any form?
How do you stay connected to your network's news? Do you watch the news stream on LinkedIn? Do you watch the updates on Facebook, FriendFeed,[39] and other social networks? Spending 20 minutes or less on these platforms often gives you some interesting pieces of information, and might sometimes prompt a message out to people in your network.
Here are some practices to consider:
Spend 20 minutes a day observing your network. If someone is mostly offline and not a social network user, spend a few minutes sending out a few "checking in" e-mails to get a read on his or her world.
Spend 10 minutes a day (I spend a bit more here) cultivating new relationships. This can be through participation in social networks, through reading new blogs and commenting, through attending face-to-face events, or many other things. If you're not growing your network, you're stagnating.
Use an organized contact management system, but also keep frequent backup copies of those system's files in CSV or XLS form somewhere safe (i.e., don't trust online platforms 100 percent with your data). I'm using BatchBook[40] right now. (Disclosure: BatchBook gave me a complimentary license in return for a review, but it's still inexpensive, even if you pay.)
Never, never, never pound that list of names with dumb jokes, updates about your life (unless it's something insanely profound), or other clutter. Try not to message everyone, ever. Instead, segment information such that you talk to the people who matter to the topic at hand.
Deliver two to three times as much value as you ask from your network. This keeps people eager to be helpful when the time comes that you need them.
Never make a huge deal out of helping others in your network.
It's okay to say no (politely!) to requests for access through your network should you be concerned about the intent of the person asking.
How has your network impacted the way you live or conduct business? Do you belong to any networks, online or offline, that have driven value back to you? (My business partner is a Harvard Business School graduate, and the database he can touch is astounding.) How are you keeping your database fresh and vibrant?
Finally, are you living your online life consciously with regard to building and maintaining a meaningful network?