While there must almost certainly be exceptions, most bosses aren’t psychos. I’ve met quite a few bosses in my time and though I’m no psychotherapist, as far as I could tell, none of them were psychos. Most of them seemed to be just regular guys and gals like you and me, trying to do their best in the world – do a decent job, earn a crust, love the people they should love and have some fun.

That having been said though, there are some things about bosses you need to know. The first one is their greatest weakness.

Bosses make mistakes – ‘OMG there’s a surprise’

The greatest weakness bosses have is that they are human – just like you and me. (I know some of you reading this now may disagree with this statement but it is actually factually true.) As a result of this terrible failing they make mistakes. I’ve been a boss for over 35 years and have made literally countless mistakes. You would like to think, of course, that as I get more experience at being a boss I would make fewer mistakes. Indeed I would like to think that myself.

The trouble is that it may not actually be true.

The things I do now – that I do because of the experience I’ve gained and the mistakes that I’ve made – may not actually be the right things or the best things for today’s world. At least not all of them. And so – which are and which aren’t? Hell if I know!

If we then assume that your boss is no different from me – he or she also makes mistakes – then the first thing you need to be aware of is that he or she will not always be right. Let me just say that again in case you missed it.

Your boss is not always right.

This means that when your boss does something you think is wrong or makes a decision that you think is faulty or asks you to do something which you think is stupid, you need to believe in yourself and point this out.

Now before you rush into anything here, let me say that there are plenty of ways for you not to do this. Asking your boss publicly, say, at a meeting with a large number of attendees including his boss, the question, ‘How could you have been so stupid, you tosser?’ would be one such way. Or sending an email with the title line ‘You damn idiot’ would be another.

The only way to point out to your boss that he or she has made a mistake – and to survive the encounter – is to use facts.

For example, if you know that 10 widgets can be processed in a day, then 100 widgets will take 2 weeks, provided you have nothing else to do. If your boss then insists that you do that great favourite of bosses – multitasking, that is spread yourself across one or more other things – and still get your 100 widgets done in 2 weeks, you need to point out – using these facts – that what your boss is proposing is not a runner. In short – this dog won’t hunt.

A variation on this is to use logic or rather get your boss to explain their logic. ‘Why is this a good idea?’ ‘Tell me the thinking behind this’. Getting them to think or talk it through may get them to see the error of their ways.

At several points in the history of my company, we hired a CEO to replace me. (Some of these experiences were happier than others.) I remember one CEO explaining to me how he had assessed the salaries everyone was on and he reckoned that one salary was way out of line with everyone else’s. He was therefore proposing to reduce that person’s salary. Because the person in question was quite mild-mannered, the CEO reckoned this wouldn’t be a problem – the person would just happily accept this action.

‘You might have a think’, I suggested, ‘about what you would do if I did that to you?’

The matter never came up again.

Bosses like to have their problems solved

Some bosses are fond of the saying, ‘Don’t bring me problems, bring me solutions’. I don’t like that expression and would never use it myself, but there is a certain truth in it. If you can solve my problem, perhaps not in the way that I would have liked it solved, but in some way, then that’s a hell of a lot better than just saying, ‘Nope, can’t do that’.

So coming back to our 100 widgets problem again, you could offer me alternatives. For instance:

• ‘I can do the 100 in 2 weeks provided I have nothing else to do.’
• Or – even better – ‘I can do the 100 in 2 weeks provided I have nothing else to do. So could Charlie take my other stuff? I checked with him and he has some bandwidth at the moment’.
• Or – ‘I can do the 100 widgets and get this other stuff done but then that’s going to take 4 weeks’.

Another example of this would be if you are overloaded and you want to do something about it. If you just go to your boss and say, ‘I’m overloaded, boss’, here’s what’s likely to happen. Your boss will put his arm around your shoulders and say, ‘You think you’re overloaded? You should see my schedule’.

This is a pointless discussion.

But if you go to your boss and say, ‘I’m overloaded but here are some ways that the overload could be reduced/fixed – give this job to Charlie, delay that other project, get me some help with this other things’, you’re far more likely to get some positive action.

Bosses have a tendency to be delusional

The fact that bosses are human can’t really be helped. However, what can be helped is the fact that many bosses – and I stress the ‘many’ – have a tendency to be delusional.

Here’s the most obvious example I’ve come across. If you have ever heard a boss say, ‘This is a very aggressive target/schedule/deadline’, then – in my experience, they have already parted company with reality and are living in a strange and dangerous place.

Watch out for phrases like ‘stretch goals’, ‘ambitious targets’, ‘BHAGs’ (Big Hairy Audacious Goals).

Let me be clear. I have no problem with ambitious goals. I’m a great man for them myself. Our reach should exceed our grasp. But there’s a difference between ambitious goals and losing the plot. Too many bosses lose the plot.

Once again, the only way to treat a delusional boss is with facts. Every other way is pretty much guaranteed to fail. If the basis of the negotiation is that they’re senior and you’re junior, you’ll fail. They’ll just order you to do it – to charge that machine gun. If the basis of the negotiation is that they’re aggressive/assertive/maybe even something of a bully, you’ll fail. If the basis of the negotiation is that it’s a personality clash, that is, basically you don’t like each other, then you’ll fail. If the basis of the negotiation is that they have money that you want, for example you’re looking for a raise, then you’ll fail.

But if the basis of the negotiation is the facts that you’re presenting, then this is the one area where you can’t fail. This is the one area where you have authority, where your knowledge is superior. Use it. Don’t be a victim.

And just in case you’re wondering – I’ve been preaching this message for 20 odd years and the following has never happened to me. Nobody has ever phoned me up and said, ‘I lost my bloody job as a result of your stupid advice’.

Bosses like long hours

The other big flaw that many bosses tend to have is that they equate attendance with productivity. In other words, they confuse being at work/in the office/working long hours with being a good employee.

This is just nonsense.

Productivity is getting stuff done, achieving certain goals or targets.

Attendance is being at the office – clocking in early and clocking out late.

Once again, the way to deal with these bosses is with facts. Agree – at the beginning of the year or whenever – what your targets are. Now – and this is utterly vital – agree how those targets will be measured. Without measures you have no way of knowing whether you’ve succeeded or not. Once you’ve done that, work the hours required to meet the targets and meet (or better still, exceed) the measures. If anyone complains about your hours – including your boss – point them at your achievements.