INDEX
NUMBERS
13th, 154
A
#AbledsAreWeird, 118
accents, 110–112
accessibility issues, 117
acknowledging discussion with gratitude, 103, 111, 150. See also conversations
active listening. See listening
ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act), 114
atheists, 134–135
affirmation, 151
age-based SAE, 22, 139–141, 143–152
Ali, Mahershala, 100
ally
aspiring to be, 40
from observer to, 35–37
American flag, 135
American Girl store, 28
“the angry Black woman,” 24. See also Black people
anthropology, 92
anti-racist facilitator, 64–65
apology, 151
“articulate,” being, 3–4, 93–94
“attributional ambiguity,” 20, 28
B
The B Corp Handbook: How to Use Business as a Force for Good, 146–152, 178
B Impact Assessment, 178
babies, biological sex, 74–75
Baran, Michael, 7–11
behavior
adjusting, 55
avoiding and reinforcing, 66
calling out, 32–34
bias and discrimination, 27, 35
biological sex, 74–75
“bisexual,” 76
Black hair, touching, 102–105
Black people, 95, 101. See also “the angry Black woman”
blind person, 123–125
#BLM (Black Lives Matter), 6
brains, study of, 8–9
Brannen, Sarah S., 89
Brazil, “race” in, 9–10
Burger King YouTube video, 34
C
calling out SAE, 67–68
calmness, maintaining, 33
Chait, Jonathan, 14
children, studying learning in, 9
Christianity, 128
Christmas, 132–134
clinical depression and depression, 87–88, 114, 123, 125
The Coddling of the American Mind, 15
cognitive constraints, 114, 124
collaboration, increasing, 56
comfort, showing, 23
communicating the norm, 60–61. See also “You are not normal”
community, staying in, 40
compliments, 23
Confederate sympathizers, 65
conflict, avoiding, 157
connection, building, 34–35, 42
constructive criticism, being open to, 37
control and dominance, 21
conversations, 42, 53, 56. See also acknowledging discussion with gratitude
crack cocaine, 21
Crenshaw, Kimberlé, 5
critical feedback, receiving, 39
cultures
gender associations, 85
studying, 8
curiosity, 23, 52–54, 111, 152. See also “You are a curiosity”
D
D&I (diversity and inclusion), 63, 131
deaf people, 119–122
Death by a Thousand Cuts, 79
December holidays, 132–134
defensiveness, 52–54, 111, 152
DEI (diversity, equity, and inclusion), 62–66, 70–71, 177
demographics, 31
depression and clinical depression, 87–88, 114, 123, 125
difference, ideas about, 92–93
disabilities, people with, 22, 114–122
Disability:IN conference, 114
“disabled person,” 115
discrimination and bias, 27
diversity
dimensions of, 22
facilitation, 65
vision for future, 158–159
“Do you work here?” 28–29
dominance and control, 21
“don’t belong” as SAE, 78
“don’t take anything personally,” 39
Dorn, Anna, 87–88
DuVernay, Ava, 154
dynamic, noticing, 122–126
Edmondson, Amy, 65–66
ego, 33
emotional intelligence, 69–70
“employee” versus “patron,” 28
Erasing Institutional Bias: How to Create Systemic Change for Organizational Inclusion, 28, 67, 72, 177
“essentialized” categories, 96
ethnicity and race SAE
in Brazil, 9–10
contrasting, 95–97
examples, 94–95
overview, 91–94
“So, like—what are you?” 22
“Where are you really from?” 97–99
“exclusion” versus “inclusion,” 16–17, 20–21, 55–56
executive leadership, 66–68
explaining why action was paused, 103, 111
explicit acts of exclusion, 20–21
F
facilitators, 65–66
feedback
acknowledging, 51–52
improving, 56
follow through and follow up, 54–56, 104–105, 112, 152
forgiveness, 151
The Four Agreements, 39
framework of SAE types, 22–23, 77, 84. See also SAE (subtle acts of exclusion)
free speech, 14
From Unconscious Bias to Conscious Inclusion, 63
funny, being, 23
G
Gallagher HR consulting firm, 178
“gay,” 76
Gen Z, 140
gender and sexuality, 22, 74–77, 79
gender minorities and women, 82–84
gender nonconformity, 85–86
generalizations, 94
generational difference, 139–140, 142
genetic differences, 92
“Girl, no you don’t,” 87–88
gratitude, acknowledging feedback with, 51–52
ground rules, establishing, 65–66
guidelines. See also speaking up
initiator, 51–56
subject or observer, 44–51
H
Haidt, Jonathan, 15
hair, touching, 29
Hanukkah, 132–134
harm, denying, 21
hate crimes, 20
hegemony and power, systems of, 21
helicopter parents, 15
“heterosexual,” 76
Hispanic people, 107–108
holidays, 132–134
Homo sapiens, 92
“homosexual,” 76
Honeyman, Ryan, 157
hot-button topics, 85–90
humility, 33–34
I
“I don’t even see you as Black,” 101–102
“I wish I was a lesbian,” 87–88
IC (individual contributor), 70–72
identities, 5–6. See also marginalized identities
“I’m deaf. I can read.” 119–122
inadequacy SAE, 78, 84, 120–121, 124, 126, 145–146
“inclusion” versus “exclusion,” 16–17, 20–21, 55–56, 154
individuality, acknowledging, 101. See also “You are not an individual”
initiator in SAE scenario, 24, 31, 36, 41, 44, 152
inQUEST Consulting, 63–64, 179–180
institutional SAE, 66–72. See also organizational leaders
insulting behavior, 21
intentional acts of inclusion, 154–156
interactive digital learning path, 63
interpersonal civility, 56
intersex birth, 74
intimidation, 20
invisibility SAE, 78, 101, 124–125, 128, 145–146
Islam, 135–137
J
Jana, Tiffany, 5–7
Jewish people, 7, 29, 129, 132–134
justice system, 154
K
Kimmel, Jimmy, 99
Korean people, 108–110
L
leadership. See executive leadership; organizational leaders
learning, studying in children, 9
“lesbian,” 87–88
“less than,” being treated as, 125
LGBTQIA people, 87–89
listening
making active, 53–54
for understanding, 32–35
Lukianoff, Greg, 15
M
management, 69–70
marginalized identities. See also identities
and “attributional ambiguity,” 20, 28
connecting with self, 27, 29–30
demographics, 31
explained, 31
increasing feelings of inclusion, 55–56
relating to, 32
mental health constraints, 114
#MeToo, 6
microaggressions. See also SAE (subtle acts of exclusion)
arguments, 13–15
effects of, 15–16
naming, 36–37
reframing terminology, 18–19
significance, 29
microphone, using, 115–117
middle management, 69–70
mind, studying, 8–9
mixed races, 97
morena, 9
Muslim ban, 136
N
Najma, Bari, 100
“No problemo,” 105–107
nonbinary people, 76
norm, communicating, 60–61
normalcy SAE, 84, 89–90, 97, 117, 126, 128, 137
“normalness,” 29
O
observer in SAE scenario, 24, 35–37, 44–51, 152. See also subject in SAE scenario
offensive behavior, 21
organizational leaders. See also institutional SAE
communicating the norm, 60–61
expecting SAE to happen, 58–59
goals, 58
practicing speaking up, 61–62
responsibilities, 57
organizational support, 62–63
Overcoming Bias: Building Authentic Relationships across Differences, 28, 85–86, 177
P
“pansexual,” 76
patience and progress, 152
“patron” versus
“employee,” 28
pausing the action, 103, 111, 149
Pierce, Chester M., 13
political correctness, 14
politics, religion, and Islam, 135–137
power and hegemony, systems of, 21
“The Power of Privilege,” 113
praise for calling out SAE, 67–68
psychological safety, 65–66
Q
questioning, 30
R
race and ethnicity SAE
in Brazil, 9–10
contrasting, 95–97
examples, 94–95
overview, 91–94
“So, like—what are you?” 22
“Where are you really from?” 97–99
racial healing session, 64–65
racist acts, 20
reach in to reach out, 156–158
relationship, staying in, 40
religion, 22, 127–128, 135–137
respect, gaining, 157
responsibility, taking, 24
retirement, 142–143
Ruiz, Miguel, 39
S
SAE (subtle acts of exclusion). See also framework of SAE types; microaggressions
addressing, 21
anatomy of, 19–20
callout moments, 36, 39–40, 67–68
expecting to happen, 58–59
exposing, 36
Frederick County Human Relations Commission, 2–3
identifying, 77–83
impact of, 17
responding to, 36
scenarios, 2–3, 24, 27–28, 41–42, 77–78
website, 62
in workplace, 21
workplace gender-based, 80–83
service-role “identity,” 29
sexist acts, 20
sexual assault, 6
sexual harassment, 6
sexuality and gender, 22, 74–77
“So, like—what are you?” 22
social justice, 14
Spanish language, 107–108
speaking up, 38–39, 56, 61–62, 128–132, 157. See also guidelines
Speech First, 14
#stopmakingitweird, 118
stories, connecting with, 34–35
structural exclusion, 20–21
subject in SAE scenario, 24, 44–51, 152. See also observer in SAE scenario
Swinbourne, Charlie, 117
T
Take Our Daughters To Work Day, 41
talking, changing ways of, 89–90
Target, employees at, 28
taxonomy. See framework of
SAE types
thinking before speaking, 38–40, 126
threat SAE, 38, 84–85, 94, 121, 135
TMI Consulting, 62–63, 177–178
touching hair, 29
transparency, 56
“trigger warning,” 13
Trump, Donald, 135
trust, increasing, 56
U
Uncle Bobby’s Wedding, 89
understanding, listening for, 32–35, 131
vision for future, 158–159
W
“What are you?” 97
“What does your husband do?” 88–90
“What ‘Good’ Dads Get Away With,” 79–80
“When is he going to retire?” 142–143
When They See Us, 154
“Where are you really from?” 97–99
women and gender minorities, 82–84
#WontBeErased, 6
workplace boundaries, 21, 83–84
worldviews
appreciating, 10–11
recognizing, 29
Y
Yom Kippur, 128–132
“You are a burden,” 117, 119, 137
“You are a curiosity,” 109, 121–122. See also curiosity
“You are a threat,” 38, 84–85, 94, 121, 135
“You are inadequate,” 78, 84, 120–121, 124, 126, 145–146
“You are invisible,” 78, 101, 124–125, 128, 145–146
“You are not an individual,” 120. See also individuality
“You are not normal,” 84, 89–90, 97, 117, 126, 128, 137. See also communicating the norm
“You don’t belong,” 97, 128, 145
“You don’t speak Spanish?” 107–108
“You people,” 102
“Your accent is so cute,” 110–112
“You’re Korean? I was so close!” 108–110
“You’re such an inspiration,” 117–119