Chapter Forty-Four

Love Gone Wrong

Five Common Flaws in Romance Novels

Leigh Michaels

If you sense that something is wrong with your romance work-in-progress, you can likely blame one of the five following problems: (1) inadequate conflict, (2) unrealistic or unsympathetic characters, (3) unclear relationship motivation, (4) straying focus, or, simply, (5) lackluster writing. As an award-winning romance novelist who continues to lead writing workshops in the genre, I have encountered one or more of these issues in every unsuccessful romance novel I’ve ever read. Here is how to diagnose—and treat—these ailments in your own manuscript.

1. INADEQUATE CONFLICT

A story about two people who are doing little more than fighting against their overwhelming attraction to each other is unlikely to bear the weight of a 250-page novel.

Real conflict involves important issues. What’s at stake? What do both characters want that only one of them can have? Or what do they both want so badly that they must work together to get it?

Authentic conflict has at least two realistic, believable, sympathetic sides—positions that reasonable human beings could logically take. If you (and your readers) can’t convincingly argue from either point of view, then your conflict is likely one-sided and flat.

When you have genuine conflict, your characters will have plenty to talk about. When you don’t, they may argue until doomsday, but their conversations will be superficial and won’t lead anywhere.

Symptoms of inadequate conflict include:

• Characters who argue but don’t talk to each other. If simply explaining their positions would have solved the problem in the very first chapter, then the couple is only having a misunderstanding, not a true conflict.
• One-sided conflicts. If one of your characters is trying to save the rainforest and the other takes glee in burning it to the ground, it’s hard to be sympathetic to the latter character.
• Circular arguments. The characters argue the same points again and again without making progress toward a solution. If the conflict is genuine, a real discussion will develop and the characters will gradually modify their points of view as they explain their positions.
• Low stakes. The issue doesn’t seem important enough to warrant a story. A difference of opinion between two teachers about how to run a classroom, or a quarrel between parents about whether their daughter should wear short shorts, isn’t likely to keep readers up at night.

2. UNREALISTIC OR UNSYMPATHETIC CHARACTERS

If during their first meeting your hero and heroine act as if they’ve hated each other for years, then they’re not believable. If they behave badly toward each other throughout the novel without clearly justifiable reason, then they’re not sympathetic. If they show nothing but distaste for each other throughout the entire book but fall into each other’s arms on the last page, then their chances of lasting happiness are unconvincing.

Symptoms of unrealistic or unsympathetic characters may include:

• A heroine you wouldn’t want to befriend. If she isn’t someone you’d want to hang out with, odds are your readers won’t, either. You may know that deep down your heroine is a sweetheart—but if she spends all of chapter one shrieking at her mother, readers will see only her unpleasant side.
• A hero you wouldn’t want to be married to. Your main man has to be more than a handsome, sexy shell to have lasting appeal. If he’s angry, can readers empathize with his emotions? Does the bad boy have a secret sensitive side, or is he so dangerous that a sensible woman would run?
• Characters who are out of balance. If the hero is aggressive and the heroine is weak, or if the heroine is pushy and the hero is passive, the story is apt to trail off. In a good pairing, the hero and heroine will be roughly equal in strength and assertiveness.
• Too much telling. If the characters are not realistic or relatable, it will be difficult to bring them to life—and thus make you more susceptible to just writing about them rather than showing them interact.
• Unmotivated opposition. The hero should not try to prevent the heroine from getting what she wants (or vice versa) simply to be nasty. Readers will find both characters more sympathetic if there is a good reason for their opposition.
• Too much internalizing. This occurs when readers hear all about a character’s thoughts—more than they want to—but don’t have any reason to care.

3. UNCLEAR RELATIONSHIP MOTIVATION

This particular problem occurs when there isn’t any major factor keeping the main characters in the current relationship situation. For instance, if a man dislikes a woman (even though he thinks she has a great body) and she detests him (even though he’s quite a hunk), there isn’t anything preventing either character from walking away. What makes it necessary for them to stay in contact long enough to discover that their attraction to each other is really love? If you can’t state in one sentence the reason your hero and heroine need each other, that reason needs redefining.

Symptoms of unclear motivation include:

• A hero and heroine who have little to say to each other. If their conversations contain no substance, maybe they need more reasons to talk in the first place.
• Characters who are motivated to oppose each other by petty irritation rather than real disagreement. Are they just sniping at each other instead of discussing a substantial problem? If so, there may be no reason for them to be together.
• A hero and heroine who are often separated physically. When they’re not together, there’s no interaction—perhaps because they don’t have enough reason to spend time with each other.

4. STRAYING FOCUS

If the romance isn’t at the heart of the book, your readers in this genre will be disappointed. The other parts of the novel—the mystery of the missing money, the child in need, the subplot involving secondary characters—are sometimes more fun and are often easier to write than the immediate interaction between the main characters.

But readers want to see a developing relationship—fondness, trust, attraction—between the hero and heroine. The rest of the story, important though it is, should serve as the background for the romance.

Symptoms of straying focus include:

• Excess of plots. Too many events or subplots means less time for the developing relationship.
• Too many people onstage. If the hero and heroine aren’t alone together, it’s more difficult for their feelings to develop. Even in a packed auditorium you can isolate your two main characters. Move them off to a corner, or let them carry on a whispered private exchange while surrounded by other people.
• Scenes that veer off track. Side issues become more important than the main story, and everybody—author, characters, and readers—forgets the point of the scene. Or the backstory of secondary characters distracts readers from the main story.
• Interference by other characters. Whether the interference is intended to create trouble between the hero and heroine or to bring them together, it takes the focus off the main relationship. The hero and heroine should solve their own problems.

5. LACKLUSTER WRITING

You haven’t put words on the page in a spellbinding way. Perhaps you’re summarizing the story instead of showing the complete narrative arc. Or sentences may be unclear, forcing readers to deduce or interpret what you mean. You may depict the action in the wrong order, confusing readers. Or maybe you’re showing only part of the scene, leaving out details necessary for readers’ understanding.

Symptoms of lackluster writing include:

• Slow starts. Chapter one might consist of the heroine reflecting on her past and what has brought her to this stage in her life. If you start with action instead, you give readers a reason to care about the character; then they’ll sit still to hear about the roots of the problem.
• Peaceful endings. Chapters or scenes that end with the heroine drifting off to sleep without a care are wonderful places for readers to do the same.
• Rushed dramatic action. Watch out for words and phrases such as later, after a few hours, when she’d had time to think it over, and other indications that readers are being told rather than shown what happened.
• Low emotional levels. When the story events and characters are not emotionally compelling, readers find it difficult to care whether the hero and heroine get what they want.
• Wandering viewpoints. The point of view shifts back and forth for no good reason, or it’s difficult to even figure out who the viewpoint character is.
• Filler dialogue. Instead of relaying important information, the dialogue focuses on everyday detail—lots of instances of hello and goodbye and How do you like your coffee?
• Poor grammar, spelling, word usage, or mechanics. Anything that takes readers’ attention off the story and forces them to figure out what the author meant makes it easier for them to put down the book.

You owe it to yourself—and your readers—to make your novel the best it can be. By sharpening the conflict, crafting realistic characters and relationships, honing the focus of your narrative, and adhering to the tenets of strong storytelling, you give yourself a fighting chance to earn a place on your readers’ “favorites” shelf.

Leigh Michaels is the author of more than one hundred books, including contemporary romance novels, historical romance novels, and nonfiction books. More than 35 million copies of her romance novels have been published. Six of her books have been finalists for Best Traditional Romance novel in the RITA contest sponsored by Romance Writers of America. She has received two Reviewer’s Choice awards from Romantic Times (RT Book Reviews). She is the author of On Writing Romance, published by Writer’s Digest Books; Creating Romantic Characters; and Writing Between the Sexes.