Narrative Listening and Questioning

This exercise uses personal narratives to practice questioning and listening.

Purposes

• To practice listening closely and attentively to another person's story
• To use questions to draw out another person's narrative
• To improve people's ability to summarize what was heard in an interaction

How It Works

• Two people sit across from one another, with one assuming the role of speaker and the other assuming the role of listener.
• Speakers begin talking about a professional or personal issue that is much on their minds—something they have been thinking a lot about lately.
• Listeners focus only on what the speaker is saying without any thought of how to respond except to show support for the speaker's words.
• Listeners use only questions and perhaps also a supportive or echoing word or two to keep the conversation going. No declarative statements are permitted.
• The speaking with occasional questioning takes five to seven minutes.
• When time is up, listeners briefly summarize what they have heard.
• If necessary, the speaker gently corrects inaccuracies in the listener's summary.
• Roles are then reversed, with the speaker assuming the listener role and the listener assuming the speaker role.
• Participants debrief their reactions to this exercise in the large group.

Where and When It Works Well

1. Universality. This is a very simple exercise that works just about everywhere and takes relatively little time. All of us need practice honing our listening skills, and all can use the respectful affirmation of being listened to closely.
2. As a warm-up. This can be a good warm-up for any gathering devoted to discussion. It helps people get to know each other and reminds everyone that discussion depends on good listening.

What Users Appreciate

1. The positive experience of being listened to. Speakers invariably comment on how affirming it feels to be listened to so attentively. Close listening brings a group closer together.
2. The pleasures of listening. Users note that they don't have many opportunities to devote all their psychic and physical energy to listening to another person. This can be both pleasurable and liberating.

What to Watch Out For

1. Not listening. Many of us are not used to listening to someone else without thinking ahead about responding and correcting.
2. Skipping modeling. Facilitators should demonstrate this protocol ahead of time using a variety of questions, preferably with a team-teaching colleague.

Questions That Fit This Protocol

• Questions that provide the prompt for speakers' stories include these:
  • “What's been occupying your mind lately?”
  • “What's going on in your work that feels especially challenging right now?”
  • “If you could be anywhere else right now, where would that be and why?”
• Questions that might be used by listeners in drawing out speakers further include these:
  • “Can you tell me more about that?”
  • “How did that make you feel?”
  • “How did one thing lead to another?”
  • “Why do you think this happened?”
  • “What did you learn from that experience?”