Who wants to be a celebrity? It's kind of becoming the thing, or maybe it's always been a thing. I do not see myself as a celebrity, but I am stopped in every city I go to. I think I'm just an Internet celebrity, but today that matters. I'm in a small city called Pompano Beach writing my book, and I was getting into my car at Publix as these three young women were getting out of their car. I asked them if they wanted my cart, and one of them said, “Hey, you're the guy who does those videos on Facebook!” It made me laugh. I've been getting recognized for years now in some of the strangest places. Last week I was in Tampa, Florida, and I went through a Burger King drive-thru and the young lady serving me said, “What are you doing way down here in Tampa? I see you on my TV!” It's strange to me how we see the world as so big with so many people, but in every city I go to someone in a random place recognizes me from online. Although it's been happening for years, I'm not bombarded by people like an A-list celebrity is, so I still haven't gotten used to it. I still have to remind people of my name because a lot of them just know my face, so there is still work to do. You don't think you're a celebrity because you're in your own skin. You see your flaws and your regularness every day, so you don't sweat yourself. You're no big deal to yourself. My wife chops me down to size often because she doesn't treat me any differently than when she first met me, so I'm always just Babe, her husband.

Today anyone can become a celebrity, and it can really change your brand. I see some people as celebrities even if they aren't known by name to everyone in the world. To be honest, some people we consider A-list celebrities are not recognized by name by everyone they bump into. No matter how big we think a person is, they aren't known by every human on the planet. The goal isn't to be known by everyone, but to be known by the people who need you the most. There are ways to become a celebrity without doing anything crazy or ignorant. You can live a meaningful life and do meaningful work and become a celebrity. In fact, everyone is a celebrity to someone, but how many people do you want to influence? We listen to celebrities more than we listen to regular people, and that's why companies use celebrity endorsements. Every major company does a commercial with celebrities because their influence is greater. When we see someone as bigger than us, better than us, more important than us, we listen to him or her. It never was my goal to be seen as better than anyone. I knew that my brand would become bigger than those of many others, but I've never wanted to be seen as better than anyone. I define celebrity differently. Some people may call it an authority figure. There are some keys to gaining that celebrity factor.

Know what you do and do it well. If you have a gift, you have to use it. If you're gifted at something, then you'll naturally separate yourself from the pack. People will see your gift and look at you differently than they look at others. Your gift will speak for itself. You won't have to do much talking or tell the people who matter that you're a celebrity; they'll see it in you. If you hide your gift, then you'll blend in with everyone else, and nothing special will come to you in life or happen for you. You can't be afraid to operate in your gifts and let your gifts take you to higher heights.

Know what you know and stick to it. If you know you're good, it's okay. Don't let anyone talk you down from your greatness. You don't have to flaunt it, but when you have to walk in greatness, you can't shrink from it. You can't be afraid to be great. Many people will try to tell you otherwise just to see if you really know what you know. You can't waiver in your stance. Stand by your truth and live it out.

Be consistent in your gift. You have to use it daily. You can't show up every other week to do what you do. You have to show up daily. Anyone can do something once, but it's the ones who do it over and over again who get the credit and the respect. Consistency is the key, especially if you want to be a leader. People will look to you over and over again to see if you are who you say you are. If they don't see consistency, they won't believe you.

Honestly, I don't like the idea of celebrity, but it's a part of our world. I really don't like when a person knows they are a celebrity and acts like they are a celebrity. I guess that's still some of the regularness in me. I know regularness isn't a word, by the way. I didn't ask to become a celebrity or to be seen as a celebrity by anyone, but people automatically put that title on you when you get to a certain level. I'm only a celebrity to certain people. There are millions and millions of people who have no idea who I am. I remember when some people would come to me online and say, “I'm sorry I didn't know you until today” as if they were supposed to already know me. I would reply, “I'm just like you, and I didn't know you until today either.” I guess they said that because they could see that I have verified accounts—on social media, that says I'm a celebrity—and that some people have treated me as a celebrity. When you get that celebrity status to a group of people, even people who aren't in that group will see you differently when they find out you're a celebrity to someone. If you use social media correctly, then it can make a celebrity out of an average Joe without a celeb publicity agent. Twitter verified my page in 2010, and that made a big difference for me. People saw me differently. Facebook verified my page, and that made a big difference. Instagram verified my page, and that made a big difference. People would come to me and ask how I got verified and how they could be verified too. I didn't know what to tell them. I didn't know how or why they do it, but I realized quickly that it made a difference.

Sometimes you can be seen as a celebrity just by association. One of the first clients I got from social media was an R&B singer. I was tweeting wisdom daily and getting a lot of retweets and buzz on Twitter. One day a woman wrote me who was an entertainment lawyer. She said, “Hey, I saw you online and I love what you write. I noticed that you're a life coach, and I have a client who could use your help.” I said, “Okay, cool, I'd love to help out.” The young lady wasn't a celebrity yet, but I saw her as a celebrity because she knew some celebrities, had worked with some celebrities, and was signed to a label that represented major celebrities. Fast-forward some years and she had gotten on reality TV. Then after being a cast member and building her following online, she was big enough to get her own show. Then when she got her own show, they wanted to bring some balance and have her do some life-coaching sessions, so they called me. I went on her show and talked to her a few times, and from that celebrity association her followers started to see me as a celebrity life coach. I didn't do anything special. I didn't hire a branding firm or a publicist. I just operated in my gift, and it attracted opportunities. The association with celebrities or people with large amounts of followers goes a long way. Perception is reality for most people, so if they see you associated with a person they feel is a celebrity, then you're stamped. Once one celebrity sees you with another celebrity, then you're stamped in their mind too. Most celebs want to know who else you've worked with. In my line of work as a life coach that's confidential, so it becomes a guessing game. I was posting quotes every day so people knew they could come to me for quotes. Then if they saw that much wisdom on Twitter, it made them wonder what a conversation with me would be like. I had been retweeted by major celebrities like P. Diddy, Alicia Keys, and so on, so to many people that made me look like a celebrity. That stamp opened doors and brought about more opportunities. When I tweeted, I didn't sound unsure. I sounded very matter of fact in everything I said. I said it as if I knew I was 100% correct and that you could quote me on it. I literally wanted you to quote me on it. After a while that confidence and surety made me seem like an authority on the subject matter I was addressing. I spoke mostly about relationships in the beginning, so people started to call me a relationship expert. I never once referred to myself as a relationship expert, but the people did. I started being booked for events to speak on relationships, and they would put “relationship expert” on the marketing materials. Then on interviews they would ask me, “How did you become an expert on relationships?” I would lead by saying, “I don't consider myself an expert.” I did consider myself an expert; I just never said I was. When you are truly something, you don't have to call yourself that. You just operate in your gift, and people will label you themselves. Then I went from being referred to as a relationship expert to a relationship guru. That scared me. I was shocked that here I was under 30 years old and being called an expert and a guru by seasoned professionals, but I realized it was their perception based on my delivery and my consistency.

Numbers mean a lot; the more you do something, the higher your numbers will go. If you are consistent in your work and you're good at what you do, then your numbers will increase. At a certain number people will start to separate you in their mind. For me it started to happen around 25,000 Twitter followers. This is because most people only have a hundred to a thousand Twitter followers, so when my numbers reached a certain point, I was validated in some people's minds. It's just how it works. Once you are consistent enough to earn the title like expert, guru, celebrity, or authority, things will start to change for you. Now you can charge more, and you have to charge more because people perceive you differently. I'm the same guy who was coaching at $25/hour, but now that I've built my numbers and my brand and people are labeling me differently, I can charge $350/hour and no one questions it. When I had 34 followers on Twitter, I was a life coach then too. If I had told someone that I charge $350/hour at that point, they probably would have laughed until they passed out. My numbers went up and my labels changed and people started to expect it. When I would say $75/hour, people would say, really, that's it? The flip side of this is that people also expect me to have a high-powered agent and attorney as well, so it's a double-edged sword because when you are labeled a celebrity, it's almost forcing you to not be as accessible and down-to-earth. It's pushing you to another level, and you have to decide if that's where you want to be.

Outside of being a celebrity life coach, I also became a celebrity speaker. I didn't know I was nor did I pitch myself as such, but I started seeing that as my title on event flyers. That really caught me off guard, but I had to take it in stride. Before that title was attached to me as a speaker, people would frown if I told them I wanted $1,500 to speak. After the label changed, people were shocked that I would charge only $5,000 or $10,000. My labels changed before I realized it, and I was charging beginner's rates when people were expecting celebrity rates. It was an adjustment I had to make because I wasn't ready for that. That's one reason having an agent or someone working for you is good, because they aren't afraid to jack up your sticker price, and sometimes they are able to get it. I was so used to pitching myself that I was trying to get used to the celebrity label. I hurt myself a lot of times because I'd want a deal, partnership, or barter with certain companies, and I'd write to them, trying to embrace my new label with my same humble approach, and it didn't work. Imagine getting an email that says, “Hi, I'm Tony Gaskins, celebrity life coach, author, and speaker, and I'm writing you because…” A company is automatically caught off guard because they assume that if you were this big celebrity, you wouldn't be making a pitch on your own behalf; you'd have an agent or publicist doing it. That's where the trouble comes in, so although the celebrity label was benefiting my business, I wanted other benefits that I couldn't really get on my own. Celebrities get a lot of free stuff and a lot of deals, but publicists usually pitch companies for those things. Working alone limited some things, so what I had to do with this newfound celebrity is balance it. I had to accept and charge celebrity rates for anything that came in to me; but for the stuff I wanted to go get for myself, I had to pitch as just regular ole Tony, and then let the company look into me and hope they would consider me a celebrity. When I pitched with the humble approach and didn't refer to myself as a celebrity, the company would usually look into my background and write back to me very excited. It was an interesting balance that had to be found. You have to choose what matters most to you—managing the blessings coming to you or going out in search for more than what's coming to you.

If you want to become a celebrity or an authority, by all means go for it. Don't shy away from it. I've seen some speakers referring to themselves as “a regular Joe” or “the guy next door,” and guess what: they get treated just like that no matter how big they get. I consider myself to be a humble person, but I didn't label myself “humble Tony.” I embraced the label the people gave me. One time a company wrote in for me to speak in South Africa, and they offered me $2,000. I almost spit out my drink. As a speaker you can get way more than that to stay in the States, so I was shocked that they wanted me to fly a round trip of 40 hours and speak for $2,000. Then I found out the reason why they offered me $2,000. They offered me that because they had just worked with another American speaker who referred to himself as “a regular Joe” or something like that, so that's what they offered him and he accepted it. I had to let them know that I was proud of them for getting a speaker to come that far for $2,000, but I wasn't going to be able to do it. That was a time I was happy to email back as my booking manager and hide behind that celebrity tag. I learned then that it's great to be humble and regular, but when your numbers elevate you, accept it.

You can become an authority, but you have to work for it. You have to be consistent, and you have to do something that separates you. One of the best things you can do to become an authority is to create something. Create a product, a book, a course, or something. Do something that not everyone else has done or can do. When you do that and you do it with confidence and you're sure of yourself and you're consistent, then you're sure to be seen as an authority. Remember, there are authorities who are not authorities. There are celebrities who are not celebrities. There are different ways to separate yourself, and there's room for many. I'm sure people who have been doing this for 30 years hate when someone from my generation mentions my name in the same sentence as theirs, but that's just how it works. Just the other day I saw a flyer online promoting a guy's new book, and I'll quote you exactly what the flyer said. It read: “The book includes inspiring quotes from respected pioneers such as Jim Rohn, Tyler Perry, Bill Gates, Tony Gaskins, Mike Murdock, Muhammad Ali, Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, John Maxwell, Dave Ramsey and much more.” I was floored. What it said to me is that you're a celebrity to somebody. Some of those guys listed have never heard of me, but I've heard of all of them. All of them are celebrities to me. I don't hold them all on the same level, some are higher than others, but I know they all have a big names and followings that consider them a celebrities. For me to be listed in that list with those guys, I was blown away. I sent it to my father, and he said it brought tears to his eyes and that he was going to frame it. That gave me a laugh. I don't know if he was serious or trying to flatter me. It made me want to buy the guy's book to see how he quoted me.

I see stuff like that on Twitter all the time, but usually it's just a tweet, not an actual promotional flyer. I cringe sometimes when I read the tweets because they mention me with people who I know are offended that my name is next to theirs. Then it has happened the other way around too. Sometimes someone will mention my name beside a couple people who have just started inspiring people last year, and I get offended. Karma, I guess. But, I say to myself again, anyone can be an authority if you're consistent and you're sure of yourself, so I can't be mad that the people who just started are already being mentioned beside others who have been at it for years. It's the way it works these days. Social media can make anyone.

There are people who are seen as authorities and celebrities who will tell you that they don't have talent; they just outwork everyone else. That's the name of the game. People want to know that you can be counted on. People want to know that when they need a quote, you'll have a quote ready for them, even if you borrowed it from someone else's page. They don't care who said it first as long as it's readily available when they need to see it. I would have a hissy fit online sometimes about people stealing my quotes, and there would always be a genius who'd say, “Who cares who gets the credit for it? God is the only one who deserves the credit.” That response would burn me up. It would burn any writer up. But, once again, it proved to me that the people reading the quote a lot of times couldn't care less that the author isn't credited; they just want the material. That is why you see quote pages on every social media outlet with millions of followers. The quote pages make a living from stealing quotes, but guess what? The person behind the quote page can come out and become an instant celebrity because they've been consistently feeding the people motivation. I've watched it happen more than once where a quote page would build to 500,000 followers from copying, revising, or altering other people's content. Then the creator of the page would come from behind the page and instantly be connected with Oprah and given a book deal by a major publisher. No one cared where the content came from or whether the gift was authentic. All they cared about were the numbers. The numbers meant dollars to the brands. The quotes meant inspiration to the followers, so if you have the gift or you have the passion, then why not be consistent and rise to the ranks as an authority or celebrity and change your life. You deserve it just like anyone else does.

I didn't ask to be an authority or a celebrity, as I've said already, but it has changed my life. It has opened doors sooner than I expected, and it has earned me a great living. My vow is to do it differently though. My vow is to not let it go to my head. That doesn't mean I'll work for free or take less than I'm worth, but it does mean that I won't look down on people. I plan to take every picture and sign every book when I'm passing through an airport or in a store and someone stops me. I want to do it differently. I know that means something to some people. I know realistically speaking that it won't always be possible for me to sign everything and take every picture, but at least a few. I saw a quote once that said, “Do for a few what you wish you could do for many.” That has stuck with me and I've adopted that motto even on social media. If I have 10 questions and I can't answer them all, I'll at least answer three to let people know that I saw them and I wanted to chat, but time ran out and I had to get back to work. Go be a celebrity. Go be an authority figure. Just do it for the right reasons and take care of the responsibilities. As the good book says—where much is given, much is required. Don't ask for the title or don't work for the title if you don't want everything that comes with it.