The idea of the self-made man is a myth. Although notable figures in history and in business seem to have made something out of nothing, the fact is, we all fall back on influential people throughout our lives. These people might be direct acquaintances or those who have influenced through writing or other less direct sources.
From a career perspective, mentoring is a critical adjunct to your professional network. However, it takes the professional network model a step further. More than a peer or acquaintance in the industry with whom you share information and opportunity, a mentor serves in a more vital and encompassing capacity.
The word “mentor” is notably present in Greek mythology. In particular, when King Ulysses begins his protracted quest, he leaves his son in the care of a friend named Mentor.
The word has expanded to mean one who is a trusted advisor on life and careers.
We all learn, use, and need advice and assistance from others. This need takes on varying degrees during different points in our lives.
In the area of career development, the need for a mentor cannot be overstated. Unfortunately, we often view the need to go to a more experienced peer or to acknowledge that we are stuck on some problem as a weakness. We errantly believe this can potentially damage or slow our career prospects.
I want to dispel this myth and give you some input on the art and science of finding mentors to help you advance your career. In addition, I’ll explain why you should become a mentor to others.
The idea of mentoring is not new, but in the past few years, personal coaching has become a multimillion dollar industry. Celebrities have taken to hiring personal coaches for all facets of their life. You only need to look as far as Oprah to see the rise of Dr. Phil, Oprah’s popular life-coach.
A mentor is one who provides advice and serves as a sounding board for ideas. Hopefully, the mentor is able to provide some value to situations, either because of his own personal experience or through his education and insight on the topic in question.
Mentors are often older, although this need not be the case. Having years of experience is not necessarily the criterion for a good mentor, either.
The list that follows discusses characteristics to help identify mentors in your career. Chances are that certain people, whether you have identified them or not, are providing you with mentoring.
A mentor should be accessible.
For someone to provide you with guidance in your career or life, he needs to be available to you. This does not necessarily mean in the form of face-to-face meetings. However, phone calls, e-mails, or requests to meet should not go ignored for extensive periods of time. If you are never able to receive input from an individual, that person is a poor choice as a mentor.
A mentor does not need to be a senior in your chosen career path.
Wisdom and honesty are the primary commodities that a mentor provides. I am not talking about instruction on the latest programming technique or how to configure the latest Cisco firewall product. My mentors have taken the form of managers, a building contractor, a manufacturing executive, and so on. In fact, only one person that I consider a mentor is a technology professional.
A mentor should, at times, make you uncomfortable.
Someone who approves of every choice you make, without question or analysis, is not going to be a very good mentor. Those who play the role of mentor in your career should, at times, play devil’s advocate in conversations about careers and profession. They should provide alternative points of view and make you question your decisions. I don’t mean in a way that undermines your confidence and makes you fearful of presenting the mentor your ideas, but ensuring that you have taken reasonable steps to see the broad impact of your decisions.
A mentor makes you uncomfortable not because of his attitude, but because he demands good, solid judgment.
You can have multiple mentors.
A mentor is simply someone who you regularly go to for advice. When you are stuck or unsure of your next step, whose input do you seek? You likely consult several people. These people are, whether identified formally or not, serving as mentors.
In fact, I would advocate having several such people for weighty decisions. There is no rule stating that you must seek and take the advice of only one. You might find that three different individuals, all of whom you respect, provide three different perspectives. You might even receive conflicting advice.
This is okay and should be expected. A mentor is not there to make decisions for you, but to provide you with insight into a situation.
Mentors help you see subtleties in situations that you might have overlooked. Remember, however, in the final analysis, the decisions you make are your own.
You might never have personal contact with a mentor.
I broaden the definition of mentor to include those you have never met. For example, significant authors and publications can fall into a career mentor role. They are part of the network of advice you should seek when you are faced with difficult decisions.
I said at the start of this chapter that it was important not only to find mentors, but to become a mentor, too. The reasons for this are both pragmatic and philanthropic.
By providing advice and assistance to others, perhaps newer technologists, newly graduating students, and others, we’re better able to evaluate circumstances. When we try to apply such analytics to our own situations, we tend to have predetermined views and outcomes. By serving as a mentor, we become better at advising ourselves.
Perhaps as critical is the simple fact that it is right to give back to the professional community. I appeal here to decency and responsibility. Few experiences are as enjoyable as seeing your input and advice helping someone attain a degree of success.
The question that often comes up is this one: What qualifies me to mentor someone else? In truth, little qualifies you, except that you have more life experience than you know. Often, life experiences are emotional events that we react to but do not analyze.
When confronted with someone else’s career or life questions, you are not as emotionally vested. This detachment can create a much broader perspective that can be extremely valuable to the person who is seeking your input. In addition, in providing this less emotive input for someone else, you invariably gain the benefit of your own insight. In effect, it allows you to analyze your past situation in a less reactive manner.
Consider it humbling when someone seeks your advice, and don’t take the responsibility lightly. The sections that follow represent a few concepts to remember when you find yourself in the role of mentor.
When serving as a mentor, you must provide encouragement, while stretching the individual to achieve more. The role of mentor is truly a coaching one. You want the person to view you as a safe place to bring his ideas. Although you might play devil’s advocate to help the individual strengthen his ideas, if you are consistently undermining those ideas through contrary advice, the person will cease seeking your input. When an individual’s ideas are good, let the person know.
Mentoring is not necessarily about your direct experience or advice. Many times you might simply know someone or some resources (book, magazine, or seminar) that can help the individual. I can provide advice with less apprehension when I point the person to other resources for consideration. I don’t hold the corner on good advice, and I want to ensure that the person gets the best input possible.
Finding mentors and becoming a mentor are career-long endeavors. Doing so pays valuable dividends in career growth, personal networking, and professional development. If you have not identified those people in your life who serve as mentors, take some time to build that list.
Also take the time to identify those who have routinely approached you for input. Whether the label of mentor is used or not, that is what you have become. Take the responsibility seriously. The positive career impact cannot be overstated.
Identify those who have served as mentors in the past. Formally recognize their role as mentor and find one or two who will actively allow you to meet or correspond with them for this purpose.
Create a list of career questions and concerns to bring to your mentors. In particular, identify areas or skills with which you struggle, and get input into those areas.
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Identify those who have placed you either officially or unofficially in the role of mentor. When they seek your advice, let them know of your own mentoring activities. Foster an understanding in them of the importance of ongoing mentoring relationships.