Creating Your Personal Brand

ONCE YOU ASSUME the role of manager, all eyes are on you. Beyond knowledge and skill, you have to show that you are credible, competent, and trustworthy to be a successful manager. How you present yourself, how you communicate, and how you act all reflect on the type of leader and person you are. The questions and answers in this section reflect on those traits that project confidence, credibility, and integrity.

Question: I understand that creating a personal brand is important. I expect the discussions in this section are inspiring. How do I encapsulate, protect, and maintain my brand?

Answer: Your brand is important. It helps to define who you are as a person and a manager. Acting consistently and with integrity is one of the most important things that you can do to preserve it. When people know they can count on you to act in a certain manner in every situation, you gain credibility and their trust. You are known as someone who can be relied on to get things accomplished and produce results. As you conduct yourself in your personal and professional life, remember:

• Always be true to your values and principles—your belief system. Although you may share certain values with other people, yours are unique to you. Honor them and use them as your guide. Make decisions that demonstrate your values and never contradict them in your actions or words.
• Seek out people with common values. They will bring out the best in you and be a source of sound and ethical advice. To the extent you can, avoid people who don't share the same high standards as you and don't tolerate behavior based on lower standards. Never allow other people to contradict your values.
• Always act with self-confidence—don't second guess yourself—and leave yourself open to new ideas and opinions. Maintaining an open mind does not erode your self-confidence. It helps you grow.
• Maintain a high regard of respect for yourself. You cannot respect other people if you don't respect yourself first. Never tolerate actions by others that disrespect you or anyone else. Speak up.
• Respect the people around you, your team members, peers, and leadership members. Demonstrate respect by being on time for meetings, not interrupting, and acknowledging others when you see them, for starters. Never disparage the leadership in front of others. If you disagree with something, speak up. If you have to vent (and we all do on occasion), do so privately and to someone who will listen and keep your confidence.
• Always lead by example. This is not a cliché. It's a practice that should guide your behavior. Other people will notice, especially your team and they are the ones who are likely to follow and behave similarly.
• Avoid being judgmental. You'll make mistakes and so will everyone else. It's fine to counsel others, but refrain from criticism.
• Exercise discretion at all times. Don't engage in speculation or gossip. Never discuss sensitive business information in public places or spaces (at restaurants, at bars, or on public transportation, for example). You never know who is listening. Wait to make or return phone calls until you can do so in a private place.
• Respect and keep confidences unless, of course, there is a need to disclose such as information about wrongdoing like harassment or something similar that could pose significant risk for the organization. If that's not the case, honor your commitment not to share it with anyone.

Integrity and respect should be the cornerstones of your brand. Always put ethics at the forefront. Hard work goes into building your brand, so you're wise to protect it. It will serve you well throughout your career.

Question: I've heard other people say that it takes courage to be a manager, but I'm not sure what that means. How do I as a manager exhibit courage in the workplace?

Answer: Being courageous is a critical component of being a manager. Courageous managers are the people who earn the trust of others and who succeed where others fail. A manager who is courageous doesn't keep his or her head down and go along with everything and everyone. One way to show courage is to be comfortable speaking up when you think a peer or member of the senior management team, including the CEO, is about to make a strategic or even legal mistake. Courage in the workplace means having the integrity to speak or act in situations in which you know the organization is heading in the wrong direction and may be unwilling to change.

Don't be afraid to respectfully confront situations you think are wrong or need improvement. Present alternative options when you believe options are being overlooked. Strong leaders surround themselves with people whom they consider advisors–people who are competent and don't shrink from telling the truth, especially when they think a leader is wrong. Be secure in your own abilities and knowledge to speak up. People who provide a different point of view, or explain why they think something needs to change, exhibit courage and integrity.

Confront wrongdoing that you observe, even if it is occurring outside of your chain of command. If you hear about wrongdoing second-hand, report it to the appropriate resource in the organization. Don't be afraid about stepping on toes. It could help avoid legal or public relations risk.

Courageous leaders will not only speak out, take an opposing point of view, or confront situations and bad decisions, they will also suggest and advocate for ideas and positions that may be unpopular. They are not afraid to put the interests of an employee, their team, or even the larger organization above their own self interests. They move beyond the “what's in it for me” mentality, sometimes to their own detriment, because they have the vision to see greater, long-term outcomes.

Courageous managers also solicit feedback from their teams. This starts with getting to know your people. Listen to them, take advice, and act on sound recommendations. Be willing to admit what you don't know. Encourage staff to offer ideas, comments, and criticism, and don't allow other team members to filter information, even if it's bad news. You should not filter information from your team, unless that information is confidential or proprietary.

If you maintain a climate of openness in which everyone is comfortable speaking up and bringing information and ideas to you, or soliciting your ideas, you'll gain respect and show that you have the courage to lead your team.

Question: I intend to be the best manager I can be. Can you share some best practices or resources for me to up my game?

Answer: You probably know that there are a lot of books, webinars, podcasts, YouTube videos, and so much more available to you with tips on how to be the best manager ever. Here are a few of what we think are the best strategic actions you can take:

• Don't make the mistake of pretending you know all the answers. Too many managers think if they admit they don't have all the answers, they won't be respected when, in reality, the opposite is true. Letting people see that you're human actually gains you respect and loyalty from your team. Be ready to apologize when you've made a mistake and take responsibility for the actions of your direct reports.
• Get to know the people you manage. Know them well enough to understand what motivates them, what encourages them, and what's important to them at work. This may be difficult for some people who aren't comfortable with the interpersonal side of work, but this is a critical step to being a highly respected manager.
• Be a good listener. Focus full attention on the people who speak to you and listen with the intent to learn–not to respond. You'll be amazed at the knowledge you'll gain by listening to your people and you will build their self-esteem, which will make them more successful.
• Reward successes and learn from failures. Too many managers don't stop to reward success or recognize outstanding work from their employees but are quick to point out what people did wrong. It's good management to learn from what went right or wrong on a project, and it is also good to celebrate when good things happen.
• Be a positive role model. Live your organization's values in a way that lets your staff see you really believe in your mission and you uphold good business practices. People want to work for managers they respect, and nothing will lose you respect faster than violating one of your organization's values.
• Provide developmental opportunities for all your employees. No matter how high someone rises in the organization, they can always use skill-building, and this includes you. Model your commitment to employee development by improving your own skills. Be a lifelong learner!
• Find a mentor inside or outside your organization who can give you good advice and feedback and, while you're at it, encourage your employees to also look for mentors.

Following these steps will help you become a better manager, but don't ever stop adding to your skill set as a manager. Check out the Resources section of this book for good sources of additional information on becoming the best manager you can be.

Question: I've heard that successful managers think like entrepreneurs. If that's true, how do I do that?

Answer: Your question indicates that you've already begun to do so by thinking outside of the box. One way to approach this challenge is to consider the characteristics that make a good entrepreneur. These include the following (and there are certainly others):

• Visionary: They spot opportunities and act on them. They may have a keen eye for detail and, if they are running a business, they have to pay attention to them. However, they look beyond the micro level and see the big picture. In your day-to-day duties as a manager, this may mean seeing opportunities for your team members (for example, developmental opportunities, such as stretch assignments). It can also mean looking at new processes and procedures—new ways of doing things.
• Risk-Taker: Successful entrepreneurs are deliberate and calculated in making decisions about those risks. They will look at the costs and benefits of taking the risk. If you are considering a new process, for example, will you gain greater efficiency, if it is implemented? Conversely, will greater efficiency result in a reduction of staff?
• Decisive: Once they have weighed the advantages and disadvantages, entrepreneurs make a decision and move forward. You are going to implement the new process, reallocate duties, and give all staff members the opportunity to assume new responsibilities. The department can now take on new projects.
• Non-Complacent: Entrepreneurs are never satisfied with the status quo. They are always learning from the past—mistakes and successes—and making improvements.

  What was successful about the implementation of the new process? Can you replicate it for another process? What would you do differently? When will you analyze the new processes effectiveness and make any necessary adjustments? These are the questions an entrepreneur will be asking.

• Tenacious: If difficulties arise, entrepreneurs don't get discouraged or walk away. They are persistent, looking for ways to make it better, and are not willing to give up easily. If the new process isn't working quite the way you envisioned, you don't abandon it. Rather, you'll explore why and solicit ideas about how it can improve.
• Curious: One of the reasons entrepreneurs are not complacent and are tenacious is their curious nature. They want to understand more about what is going on around them and they have a great capacity to explore new things. They love to ask questions as a way to learn more. As a manager, the more curious you are about your staff, and about the how and why they do things, the more you'll learn.

Entrepreneurs bring a great deal of clarity to their vision. When they embark on something, there is no ambiguity. They are purposeful in their endeavors. Everything is intentional, even if the intent is to learn and explore. Finally, they are great at networking. They seek out people and groups with whom they can connect and because of their curious nature, they can elicit interesting and useful information and build meaningful relationships.

Question: I've been really surprised about the countless rumors that appear to be circulating among my team members, most of which are untrue. I'm overhearing most of this gossip and I'm not sure how to address it. I'd like to just ignore them and hope they'll stop. Should I take any action?

Answer: Not only are rumors unproductive and disruptive in the workplace, you're risking your personal credibility by simply ignoring them. You are right to consider taking action. As a manager, you want to send a strong message about integrity, and you can do so by confronting the rumors and setting the record straight with facts. Be proactive rather than hope the rumor mill will stop operating. One thing you can do is to address the rumors in a staff meeting, which not only provides the opportunity for everyone to ask questions, but it also lets your team know that you value open and factual communication.

Establishing and maintaining your personal integrity as a manager are so important to your success. Some things that you can do personally to promote an ethical work environment are:

• Treat everyone with fairness and respect. Show respect by always paying attention and listening, such as when others ask to speak with you or when others are speaking in meetings. Give your undivided attention, refrain from reading emails, and don't take or make calls unless it's an emergency situation.
• Walk the talk and set a good example. The proverb that actions speak louder than words is real. You team is watching, so act in a professional and respectful manner at work. Be purposeful in your actions and choose your words wisely.
• Exercise discretion. In addition to avoiding gossip, keep confidences to the extent you can. If someone wants to tell you something in confidence, let them know up-front that if what they tell you will put the organization or another person at risk, you will have to disclose it to others who have a need to know. However, if that's not the case, honor your word. Don't discuss issues about your employees (for example, issues related to wrongdoings or discipline) with other managers or team members.
• Don't speak disparagingly about others. No matter how frustrated you may be about something or someone in the organization, express your views with care. Don't lash out at a colleague, a team member, or someone in leadership. Find a trusted source, preferably outside the organization, if you need to vent. If you disagree with a policy, tell the leadership in a positive, in-person conversation. If you're disappointed in someone, talk to them face-to-face and let them know why.

Question: This is the year I want to move forward in my organization. What should I do so I can position myself for career growth?

Answer: Before you start thinking about getting promoted, be sure you are doing the best job possible right now. It's easy get complacent while you focus on your next career move, but you'll never move up in your organization if you aren't at least a solid performer in your current job! Better yet, you need to be consistently exceeding expectations so that when you ask to take on new responsibilities or to move to the next level, your organization will consider you for the job.

Once you're sure you are exceeding expectations, volunteer for additional assignments where you will gain visibility in your organization. Is there a task force you might serve on? Is there an interdepartmental project you could volunteer for? If you do get to be on a task force or do a special project, do great work there while keeping up your current responsibilities at a high level.

Research the kinds of experience, knowledge, skills, and education the job you want requires and put together a plan to match up the requirements with your background. Your HR department should be able to help you evaluate your skill set as compared to the job requirements.

If your organization offers career development webinars, podcasts, training programs, or any other way to gain new knowledge, be sure you take full advantage of what's offered. This is also a great time to seek out a mentor in the area you'd like to work in, and gain knowledge and experience from interacting with your mentor. You can also offer to be a mentor to someone else in the organization. Take advantage of your education reimbursement program, if offered, to complete your degree or add a certification that may be important for the position you want.

If your firm doesn't offer employee development opportunities, you can still build your skill set. There are lots of free webinars available, and don't overlook YouTube and TED Talks as free but excellent sources of skill-building opportunities. Look for articles and books that will add to your knowledge and put you in a better position to be promoted.

Once you're sure you are as prepared as you can be, talk with your manager and get feedback on whether you might be a candidate for the next opening. If you hear that you need to gain experience or develop a skill in a particular area, take that feedback to heart and continue to prepare yourself for the next level.

Question: Our organization has had some ups and downs recently, and I sense some of our staff aren't firmly in our camp. I really want my employees to trust me and our organization. What can I do to build trust?

Answer: I hope what's been happening in your organization hasn't been too difficult or hasn't made its way into the press, because if and when organizations or managers don't live their values or do what they promise to do, trust goes right out the window.

Trust can't be demanded. It must be earned over time and through consistent behavior and actions. Rebuilding trust is even more difficult but critical to your organization's success, because when trust is broken productivity usually suffers.

We know that employees want transparency. They want to know what's happening in your organization and/or department and they want to know the good, bad, and ugly. So, start by being honest with your team. Of course, there will be things you as a manager know about that will not be appropriate to share, and you will get more comfortable with these issues as you grow as a manager. For example, if layoffs are being discussed, you would not want to discuss this with your employees until final decisions are made and you've been trained in what to say and how to say it.

One of the best ways to build trust is to listen to your people. Spend time getting to know each of your direct reports, and listen carefully to their questions and comments. If your organization does employee surveys or focus groups to measure engagement, pay close attention to the results and take action when appropriate.

Being consistent is a great trust-building strategy. Your employees want to trust you so keep your word. If there is ever a time when you can't do what you promised, let your team know why and do it quickly. Sometimes there will be issues out of your control so share why you couldn't keep a commitment and move on.

Admit when you're wrong. It is hard to trust someone who isn't secure enough to admit a mistake. This is a difficult lesson for many managers who don't want to appear not to know everything. But, no one knows everything and there will be times when you make a mistake so learn how to “own it.” A heartfelt “I'm sorry” goes a long way to building trust.

Never bad-mouth one of your employees to another team member! This is a surefire way to destroy all you've done to build trust.

Never ask an employee to tackle a job you're not willing to do yourself. In fact, a great way to build trust is to work alongside your employees on a project so that they see your commitment to them and to your work.

Always give credit where credit is due. Recognizing good work done by your team is a great way to not only build their skills and their confidence but their trust in you. And, it probably goes without saying, but don't ever take credit for something you didn't do!

Building trust is not a one-time event. You will be working on this your entire management career and it is well worth the effort.

Question: I work in an organization that works hard to support a positive culture. Even with quality programs and policy, disruptive behaviors occur. What can I do, personally, to keep such behavior to a minimum?

Answer: It's clear that you already realize that as a manager you play a big role in influencing the quality of the climate in your organization. There are a number of personal initiatives in which you can engage, starting with how you act, react, speak, and conduct yourself at work. Remember that your team and others are watching, so always act professionally, and be respectful and purposeful in your actions. Choose your words wisely.

• Refrain from engaging in joking and teasing, especially if the comments could have the effect of disparaging others. There is a thin line between joking and harassment. Though it might be tempting to laugh at every joke or comment you hear, think before you respond.
• Don't ignore such comments. You have the responsibility to assure that the behavior doesn't get worse, so respectfully confront the individual(s), explaining why such a joke or comment is wrong (for example, “You may intend that joke to be funny, but it's belittling and demeaning”).
• Always confront and act on any behavior that you observe that is discrimination, harassment, or bullying. If you receive reports of such behavior, act on those as well. Depending upon the nature of the reports, act in accordance with your organization's policies. You may have to take corrective action against one of your employees, or notify either your legal or human resources support about reports you've heard.
• Be proactive. Talk about disruptive behavior of all types in meetings with your staff. Let them know that such behavior won't be tolerated (for example, “Emails and comments that take aim at coworkers are not professional and need to stop” or “Comments and jokes of a sexual nature don't belong in the workplace”).
• Have open conversations about the organization's policies with individual employees and in staff meetings. Listen to their concerns. Let them know that they are empowered to report harassment and discrimination to you, legal, or human resources without fear of retaliation.
• Encourage your employees to discuss any behavior they feel is inappropriate at work with you—even if it's not behavior that could be discrimination or harassment. Less severe behavior can quickly erode if not addressed. Let them know that they are empowered to report harassment and discrimination to you, legal, or human resources without fear of retaliation.
• Take responsibility to assure that the policies and protocols your organization has in place are, in fact, working appropriately. If you hear they are not, let your senior leaders know so it can be determined why they aren't working.

Being proactive and taking action when disruptive behavior occurs not only maintains the organization's positive culture, it also builds your personal trust and credibility. Your employees will have confidence in you and the organization, and be proud to be a part of it.

Question: Our organization is committed to having a culture that is inclusive and respectful of everyone. I want to set a good example for my team members about the importance of diversity. Knowing that words matter, do you have any guidelines on using the correct terms and language to avoid offending anyone?

Answer: You are so right: Words do matter. It's not only the choice of words, but the tone that is used to convey the message. It is so important to choose your words carefully.

Language is symbolic, meaning there is an arbitrary connection between the symbols (words and phrases) and what they refer to. Stated another way, different words and phrases can have different meanings to other people, depending on their perspectives and experiences. In today's diverse workplaces, communication can be complex and challenging!

Formality is changing significantly in today's work environment, which is becoming more casual. Determine the level of formality within your organization. Is it acceptable to address people by their first name regardless of age and/or position? Whatever the norm, let new employees know what's expected. Rather than be stymied, the simplest solution is to ask someone what they liked to be called or how they like to be addressed.

Be wary of slang, jargon, acronyms, or insider expressions that come about through shared experiences, including shared experiences within the organization. It can make a newcomer, an external consultant, or a service provider feel like an outsider. If these terms are used, be sure to translate them so everyone has the same understanding.

Avoid words and phrases that may be offensive and keep in mind that acceptable terms and phrases can change. Use neutral words or words that are comparable (for example: black or white, gentleman or lady, man or woman). “Girls Night Out” could be acceptable if the comparable activity would be “Boys Night Out.” However, I'll have “my girl” get back to “your girl” is totally unacceptable. Imagine if you said, “I'll have ‘my boy’ get back to ‘your boy’! It should go without saying that any slang term for an ethnic group is not acceptable in the workplace, even used by someone from that group.

Don't use labels. You usually do not need them unless you are describing a person when physical appearance is essential. In that case, just state facts (about six feet tall, dark complexion, short beard, shoulder-length hair, blue jeans, red jacket, etc.). If you must use a label, refer to the person first and the descriptor second. The Americans With Disabilities Act is purposely not called the Disabled Americans Act. People are individuals first, not their disability.

Remember that communication is an important way to build positive relationships at work—with your team, your peers, and your managers. Paying attention to what you say and how you say it is an excellent way to start. However, keep in mind that you may say the wrong thing at times, or say the right thing in the wrong way. If that happens, don't berate yourself. Apologize, learn from your mistake, and move on.

Question: I understand that words matter, but actions and body language speak as well. What else can I do to model positive behavior that supports diversity and inclusion?

Answer: Fair treatment and inclusion of all employees does go well beyond words. There are so many examples of people not being included evenly. For example, in meetings all members are not polled for their opinions. Certain people are allowed to dominate. An idea comes from a woman and is ignored; it is repeated slightly differently later in the meeting by a man and is complimented/accepted. Be mindful and respectful of everyone present, even if you are not running the meeting. Acknowledge what everyone has to say. Remember that it is okay to gently interject if you notice someone is attempting to speak and someone else is dominating.

Gestures and expressions can often convey powerful messages. Negative messages can be sent through eye rolls, smirks, or other expressions of disinterest, such as listening with arms crossed, or looking at watches or electronic devices in meetings while others are talking. Don't tolerate this type of behavior from your team. It has the effect of devaluing other individuals by negatively impacting feelings of inclusion and self-esteem.

Diversity includes many types of differences from introverts and extroverts to ages and backgrounds. Keep in mind that treating people fairly is not the same as treating them equally. People are individual and unique, and each individual may need to respond or be treated differently in a given situation. It's not the easiest job for a manager, but it's an important concept to keep in mind.

Watch people's reactions. How are they receiving information from conversations? Private conversations might be necessary to understand preferences. Some people need more time to process information. Their great ideas may come hours after the meeting has concluded. Invite everyone to submit comments, thoughts, and ideas in writing as well.

If people have good ideas, achievements, and contributions, acknowledge them publicly, unless that is embarrassing to them. If so, thank them in private. Know how they react. The best managers give credit where credit is due and address shortcomings in private when necessary before they grow into big problems. Abide by the old saying “Praise publicly; reprimand in private.”

Finally, the most important compliment you can pay someone is to listen to them. Yet listening is probably the most misunderstood communication process we use. Be conscious of your listening habits. Make a conscious effort to hear what other people are saying. Turn off your listening filters and sharpen your listening skills.

It is good business to treat all people with respect, and this is reflected in an organization's profitability and its ability to attract and retain the best employees. If employees feel valued, their contributions to the organization will continue to grow over time.

Question: Now that I'm a manager, I know it's important to become a better listener. I'm trying to improve my listening habits and improve my skills. Any tips on what I can do?

Answer: Listening is probably the most misunderstood communication process we use. It takes some focus and patience, but if you are committed to sharpening your listening skills, it can be done. And, your better listening skills will not only be useful at work, they will help you with any relationship!

Let's start with what listening isn't. It's not, when the other person is talking, waiting for your turn to talk. If that's your approach to listening, that means you probably aren't even hearing what the other person is saying. You've focused on preparing what you're going to say when they finish!

Listening is hard work for most of us, and we've spent little time learning how to listen. A good listener makes a deliberate effort to understand the other person's message. A good listener listens to learn, is interested in what the speaker is saying, and lets the speaker know they're listening.

If you're serious about being a better listener, consider what's called “active listening.” It's the most powerful way to capture the entire message the speaker is attempting to convey. Here's how it works: While the speaker is talking, the active listener encourages the speaker to share by nodding, maintaining eye contact, a raised eye-brow, or a smile. These cues let the speaker know you hear them and want to know more. However, you have to really mean it. If you aren't sincere, the speaker will probably not want to continue to talk to you!

Another active listening technique is to paraphrase what you heard the speaker say (e.g., “I heard you say that my department needs to respond more positively to requests from your staff”). Then, if that's not what the speaker intended, the information can be clarified—but they will know you were listening!

As you work to improve your listening skills, consider what gets in your way. Maybe you're distracted by external noise or other people. If so, when you find yourself in that situation, ask the speaker if you can move to a quieter location. Maybe the timing is bad. If you're on a tight deadline and can't focus, ask if you can postpone the discussion until you can give it your full attention. Also consider any cultural barriers or differences that may get in the way of understanding. Maybe the speaker uses words or phrases you don't understand. If that's the case, ask for clarification.

Listening is such a critical skill, and we can learn to listen with the same amount of energy and enthusiasm we use when we talk. Yes, it takes additional work and concentration, but the payoff is great!

Question: I've been told that as a manager I should improve my accuracy in reading nonverbal communication. Why is reading nonverbal cues important and how can it help me better communicate?

Answer: Communication is more than just being articulate when you speak, more than just being able to write an outstanding report, and more than just listening with your ears when someone is talking. It's about relating to the other person or group of people. If you're not paying attention, the other person may state they understand, but their tone, facial expressions, or body language may be conveying a different message. You have to be able to read all the nonverbal clues you are receiving.

Nonverbal communication is important because it's an indicator of:

• The effect you are having on others.
• Whether or not you are getting your message across to others or if you are understanding their message.
• Other people's emotions and emotional state.

Being able to observe other people, especially when you are engaged in a direct conversations or encounters with someone, allows you to be comfortable. When you are comfortable with one another, you are able to relate to that person and track their ability to follow you. The result is that you are in sync with each other; you are communicating.

What exactly should you be observing?

• Tone of voice: Is it warm, natural, and personal, or formal and stilted?
• Facial expressions: Are their eyes rolling, teeth clenched, and brows furrowed, or do they have bright eyes and wide smiles?
• Body language: Is it stiff and stoic, or animated? Are they slouching or sitting on the edge of their chair?

In this process of observing others, you will learn to better read behavior and get a better sense of what the person is feeling. You will become more empathetic. Empathy is important because the other person may be reluctant or unable to express their feelings, especially to their manager. However, as a manager, it's important that you know and understand those feelings.

• Does their face express anxiety or enthusiasm over the news about a new project assignment?
• Do they respond warmly or angrily regarding the new team member they'll be working with?
• Does their failure to make eye contact mean they're ignoring you or processing what you are saying?

Certainly, if it's a negative message you're getting (anxiety, anger, or indifference), that's your cue to further explore the situation. If you miss these cues, you could be setting the other person or the team up for some difficult times. This is an opportunity to understand any underlying issues.

Communication is a two-way street. When you are communicating with someone, you have the responsibility for making sure your receiver gets the message you are sending. So don't just speak, communicate with your whole expressive self. Show through body language and expression how emotional you are about an idea or issue.

As a manager, the more you perfect your ability to read and send nonverbal cues, the more confident you will be in your impressions of people and your ability to assess them. As you learn to appreciate subtlety in messages, it will help you better understand each member of your team–what each person is capable of–and make good decisions about the work you all need to accomplish.

Question: I've heard that emotional intelligence is just as important to professional success as technical ability. Can you shed some light on this?

Answer: Emotions have a big impact in our interpersonal relationships with others, and they greatly affect our ability to work efficiently and harmoniously. We spend a great deal of time at work, so we want that time to be positive. Emotions, whether positive or negative, can be infectious. As an example, say an anxious or angry team member seeks your help, but their emotion has the effect of making you become more anxious or angry, impeding your ability to help them with the problem.

Too often in the workplace, there's an expectation to leave feelings at the door, but feelings and emotions are normal and natural human traits. It's important that you are aware of them and your ability to express them in a constructive way. That's where emotional intelligence comes in.

Emotional intelligence is a person's ability to recognize their own emotions, understand them, and realize that their emotions affect others around them. It also includes a person's perception of others—understanding how they feel. People with a high degree of emotional intelligence are keenly aware of their own emotions and don't let them control their actions or get out of control. They harness their emotions (a passion for excellence, for example) and put them to work for positive outcomes. Emotionally intelligent people can not only manage their own emotions but can influence the emotions of others. They are good at recognizing the feelings of others and thus can have a calming effect on them, making them less angry or anxious, for example, in a tense situation.

If you want to strengthen your emotional intelligence, here are some considerations:

• Be mindful of how you interact with and react to other people. Do you rush to make judgments before you have all the facts? Are you aware of your biases? Are you open and accepting of differing views and perspectives?
• Be aware of how you react in stressful situations. Do you become upset when things don't go as planned? Do you blame others?
• Be aware of how your actions affect others and put yourself in their place. How would you feel or react? Would you want that experience?

When you find yourself in a particularly tense situation with someone, a team member, a peer, or even your boss, the following should help:

• Maintain a level-headed response to other people's emotions.
• Don't let them push your buttons and get you riled up.
• Be understanding. The other person may be deflecting emotions toward you and not the situation.
• Acknowledge their emotions but let them know the effect they're having on the situation or conversation.

All of the qualities of a highly emotional intelligent individual (self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy) make the emotionally intelligent person a good listener and excellent at managing relationships, which are essential for managers and leaders.

Question: I'm finding that as a manager I need to compose more emails. What can I do to make sure they are clear and effective?

Answer: Most written communication today is taking the form of email, so your staff and leadership should be grateful that you recognize it's important. Because email is not interactive, it lacks the subtleties of face-to-face or telephone communication—nonverbal clues such as tone or body language. So getting your messages right is important. There are appropriate circumstances to use and avoid email.

Use email when:

• Your audience must get the message.
• Multiple people must receive the message.
• Your audience is at a distance. (It's simple, practical, and economic.)
• A quick but not instant response is needed.
• Time is needed to compose the message.
• A record of the message is required.

Avoid email when:

• An immediate response is needed. Not everyone checks email regularly or has constant access to email, and some individuals procrastinate.
• Text alone is not powerful enough. Sometimes dialogue is needed or you can't risk the message being misunderstood.
• The information is sensitive, such as bad news, or you need to convey confidential information.
• You are angry or agitated.

In addition, there are protocols for email usage to which you should adhere. These include:

• Understand the difference between “To” and “CC.” The more people you send an email to, the less likely any single person will respond or take action. For multiple recipients, address (To) the message to the ones who need to take action. Copy (CC) those people who may have a need to know.
• Use the subject line, but don't discuss multiple subjects in a single message. The subject line conveys the substance and importance of the message. If it's blank, the message may end up in a spam folder. If you need to discuss more than one subject, send multiple emails.
• Use greetings and closings, such as “Dear (Name)” and “Best Regards.” This sets the tone and level of formality and puts that final considerate touch to your message.
• Keep messages brief and to the point. Be concise without being abrupt. Make your most important point first, then provide any necessary details. Be clear why you are writing. Keep paragraphs short and use plain, simple English. If the message is too long, it's likely to be overlooked and you won't receive a response nor the action you are seeking.
• Be mindful of your tone, because the subtleties previously mentioned are not present and the message can be misinterpreted. The more matter-of-fact you can be, the better.
• Use a signature and be sure you include your contact information (phone number and address) so that the readers can get in touch with you in a suitable way. Some may prefer to call rather than respond to your message.
• Never write in all caps, the digital equivalent of shouting. Besides, it's harder to read.
• Reread your message before sending it. Sometimes your fingers move slower than your brain, so you want to be sure your message is clear. Use your spell checker and grammar checker to catch any mistakes.
• Finally, remember that any email messages that you send are business communications so treat them as such. You may be more casual with your friends, but these are your staff, colleagues, and management reading your correspondence. You want your emails to be received in a professional manner!

Question: As a new manager, I'm concerned that I may not always have the answers to all the questions I'm asked or a solution to every situation that arises. I don't want my team and peers to lose confidence in me. Any suggestions about how to handle these situations?

Answer: Nobody likes a know-it-all, so stop fretting. You're not a manager because you have all the answers to everything. Rather, it's because you can plan and organize work, hire the right people to do it, and make sure it gets done. Don't be afraid to show your vulnerabilities.

Start by recognizing your limitations and admit them to yourself. If there is an area that's critical to your team in which you're weak, make sure that you have someone who's strong in it. Don't be afraid to admit, “That's not something I'm particularly good at. Would you mind taking responsibility for this?” In doing so, you'll demonstrate not only your honesty, but your confidence to admit you are not an expert at everything. You also send the message that you recognize your team's expertise.

Next, admit to yourself that you don't know everything and get comfortable with that. Things are constantly changing in today's business environment, and you will encounter new things and plenty of gray areas. It's okay to admit you don't have all the answers. Face it head-on and ask others what they think. Consider saying:

• “I've not experienced that, have you? How did you handle it?”
• “I don't have the answer, but let me try to find out. Perhaps we can work together to figure it out.”
• “I don't know, but let me put you in touch with someone who does.”

If you don't understand something you are told, don't pretend you do. Ask for clarification. If you're not clear about something, don't assume. If you act on an assumption and you're wrong, you'll not only look foolish, you'll risk damaging your credibility.

Finally, admit and learn from your mistakes, and share those lessons. If your team is faced with a challenge similar to one you've encountered, they will be delighted to hear you say, “Let me tell you about a time I faced something similar and really messed up!” They will appreciate your candor and willingness to share what you learned so they can avoid a similar mistake.

When mistakes occur, whether it's your own or a member of your team's, take responsibility and don't assign blame. Assess the damage and offer some solutions; this can be a team effort if appropriate. Apologize to those affected by the mistake and let them know you're taking steps to prevent future occurrences. Then take steps to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Don't waste time and energy trying to make others think that you are perfect. You have limitations, cannot answer every question or fix every problem, and have made mistakes. You're not perfect, you're human. Your ability to spotlight your vulnerabilities will increase your credibility and gain the respect of your team, peers, and leadership.

Closing Thoughts

Your personal brand is a key to your career success, and it's something that should always be developing and evolving. It lets people know what they can expect from you–that you're approachable, fair, ethical, or decisive, for example. Your brand sets a standard of respect for you and your organization, and an example for your team to model. Nothing and nobody can ever negatively affect your personal brand!