Your buyers (and the media that cover your company) want to know what specific problems your product solves, and they want proof that it works—in plain language. Your marketing and PR are meant to be the beginning of a relationship with buyers and to drive action (such as generating sales leads), which requires a focus on buyer problems. Your buyers want to hear this in their own words. Every time you write—yes, even in news releases—you have an opportunity to communicate. At each stage of the sales process, well-written materials will help your buyers understand how you, specifically, will help them.

Whenever you set out to write something (or shoot a video or develop other content), you should be creating specifically for one or more of the buyer personas that you developed as part of your marketing and PR plan (see Chapter 10). You should avoid jargon-laden phrases that are overused in your industry, unless this is the language the persona actually uses. In the technology business, words like groundbreaking, industry-standard, and cutting-edge are what I call gobbledygook. The worst gobbledygook offenders seem to be business-to-business technology companies. For some reason, marketing people at technology companies have a particularly tough time explaining how products solve customer problems. Because these writers don’t understand how their products do that, or are too lazy to write for buyers, they cover by explaining myriad nuances of how the product works and pepper this blather with industry jargon that sounds vaguely impressive. What ends up in marketing materials and news releases is a bunch of talk about “industry-leading” solutions that purport to help companies “streamline business process,” “achieve business objectives,” or “conserve organizational resources.” Huh?

An Analysis of Gobbledygook

Many of the thousands of websites I’ve analyzed over the years and the hundreds of news releases and PR pitches I receive each month are laden with meaningless gobbledygook words and phrases. As I’m reading a news release, I’ll pause and say to myself, “Oh, jeez, not another flexible, scalable, groundbreaking, industry-standard, cutting-edge product from a market-leading, well-positioned company! I think I’m gonna puke!” Like teenagers overusing catchphrases, these writers use the same words and phrases again and again—so much so that the gobbledygook grates against all our nerves. Well, duh. Like, companies just totally don’t communicate very well, you know?

I wanted to see exactly how many of these words are being used, so I created an analysis for doing so. I first analyzed gobbledygook in 2006 and published the findings on my blog and as an e-book called The Gobbledygook Manifesto.¹ In 2006, the most overused words and phrases included next generation, robust, world class, cutting edge, mission critical, market leading, industry standard, groundbreaking, and best of breed.

I then conducted an extensive, revised analysis. For this new round, I first needed to select overused words and phrases, so I turned to the following sources:

• The overused words and phrases from the 2006 analysis, which I had gotten by polling select PR people and journalists.
• Suggestions from readers, who posted comments about the original analysis on my blog.
• Seth Godin’s Encyclopedia of Business Clichés.
• This Paperclip Is a Solution, a survey given to general business and trade publication editors by Dave Schmidt, VP of public relations services at Smith-Winchester, Inc.
• The book Death Sentences: How Cliches, Weasel Words and Management-Speak Are Strangling Public Language, by Don Watson.

Then I turned to the Dow Jones Enterprise Media Group for help. The folks at Dow Jones used text-mining tools in their Dow Jones Insight product to analyze all news releases sent in the English language for an entire year. The data we gathered came from all 711,123 press releases distributed through Business Wire, Marketwired, GlobeNewswire, and PR Newswire. Dow Jones Insight identified the number of uses of the 325 gobbledygook phrases in each release.

The results were staggering. The winner for the most overused word or phrase was innovate, which was used in 51,390 press releases, followed closely by unique, leading provider, new and improved, world class, and cost-effective. Each of these terms was used more than 10,000 times in press releases during the year. The problem is that these words are so overused that they have become meaningless. If anything, these terms make the reader feel as if the company is just releasing dozens of copycat communications.

Poor Writing: How Did We Get Here?

When I see words like flexible, scalable, groundbreaking, industry standard, or cutting edge, my eyes glaze over. What, I ask myself, is this supposed to mean? Just saying your product is “industry standard” means nothing unless some aspect of that standardization is important to your buyers. In the next sentence, I want to know what you mean by industry standard, and I also want you to tell me why that standard matters and give me some proof that what you say is indeed true.

People often say to me, “Everyone in my industry writes this way. Why?” Here’s how the usual dysfunctional process works and why these phrases are so overused: Marketers don’t understand buyers, the problems buyers face, or how their product helps solve these problems. That’s where the gobbledygook happens. First, the marketing person bugs the product managers and others in the organization to provide a set of the product’s features. Then the marketing person reverse-engineers the language that the marketer thinks the buyer wants to hear based not on buyer input but on what the product does. A favorite trick these ineffective marketers use is to take the language that the product manager provides, go into Microsoft Word’s find-and-replace mode, substitute the word solution for product, and then slather the whole thing with superlative-laden, jargon-sprinkled hype. By just decreeing, through an electronic word substitution, that “our product” is “your solution,” these companies effectively deprive themselves of the opportunity to convince people that this is the case.

Another major drawback of the generic gobbledygook approach is that it doesn’t make your company stand out from the crowd. Here’s a test: Take the language that the marketers at your company dreamed up and substitute the name of a competitor and the competitor’s product for your own. Does it still make sense to you? Marketing language that can be substituted for another company’s isn’t effective in explaining to a buyer why your company is the right choice.

I’ll admit that these gobbledygook phrases are mainly used by technology companies operating in the business-to-business space. If you are writing for a company that sells different kinds of products (shoes, perhaps), then you would probably not be tempted to use many of these phrases. The same thing is true for nonprofits, churches, rock bands, and other organizations—you’re also unlikely to use these sorts of phrases. But the lessons are the same. Avoid the insular jargon of your company and your industry. Instead, write for your buyers.

“Hold on,” you might say. “The technology industry may be dysfunctional, but I don’t write that way.” The fact is that there is equivalent nonsense going on in all industries. Here’s an example from the world of nonprofits:

The sustainability group has convened a task force to study the cause of energy inefficiency and to develop a plan to encourage local businesses to apply renewable-energy and energy-efficient technologies which will go a long way toward encouraging community buy-in to potential behavioral changes.

What the heck is that? Or consider this example from the first paragraph of a well-known company’s corporate overview page. Can you guess the company?

The mission of [Company X] is to entertain, inform and inspire people around the globe through the power of unparalleled storytelling, reflecting the iconic brands, creative minds and innovative technologies that make ours the world’s premier entertainment company.

Effective Writing for Marketing and PR

Your marketing and PR are meant to be the beginning of a relationship with buyers (and journalists). As the marketing and PR planning process in Chapter 10 showed, this begins when you work at understanding your target audience and figure out how they should be sliced into distinct buying segments or buyer personas. Once this exercise is complete, identify the situations each target audience may find themselves in. What are their problems? Business issues? Needs? Only then are you ready to communicate your expertise to the market. Here’s the rule: When you write, start with your buyers, not with your product.

Consider the entertainment company language. The marketing and PR folks at The Walt Disney Company (did you guess it was Disney’s corporate overview page I quoted from?) should be thinking about what customers want from an entertainment company, rather than just thinking up fancy words for what they think they already provide. Why not start by defining the problem? “Many television and cinema fans today are frustrated with the state of the global entertainment industry. They believe today’s films and shows are too derivative and that entertainment companies don’t respect their viewers’ intelligence.”

Next, successful marketers will use real-world language to convince their customers that they can solve their problem. Be careful to avoid corporate jargon, but you don’t want to sound like you’re trying too hard, either—that always comes across as phony. Talk to your audience as you might talk to a relative you don’t see very often—be friendly and familiar but also respectful: “Like our audience, we care about and enjoy movies and TV shows—that’s why we’re in this business in the first place. As such, we pledge to always . . .”

Now I have no connection with Disney and don’t know about the Disney business. But I have purchased a lot of Disney products: movies, TV shows, videos, and visits to theme parks. It might seem strange to people at Disney to actually write something like I suggest. It might feel strange for the PR and marketing people at Disney to use a phrase like “movies and TV shows” rather than “innovative technologies,” but it’s absolutely essential to establishing a relationship with customers.

The Power of Writing Feedback (from Your Blog)

I want to pause for a moment to share a story about the power of communications and feedback on the web. When I published the results of this original study on my blog² in a post titled “The Gobbledygook Manifesto” (I also sent a news release the next day), there were zero hits on Google for the exact phrase “gobbledygook manifesto.” I purposely invented a phrase that I could establish on the web. Within just three weeks, as a result of several dozen bloggers writing about “The Gobbledygook Manifesto” and more than 100 comments on my blog and others, the exact phrase “gobbledygook manifesto” yielded more than 500 hits on Google: zero to 500 in just three weeks. Better yet, readers of my blog and others suggested other overused gobbledygook words and phrases, such as best practices, proactive, synergy, starting a dialogue, thinking outside of the box, revolutionary, situational fluency, and paradigm shift.

Dave Schmidt, VP of public relations services at Smith-Winchester, Inc., contacted me to share the results of a survey he conducted of general business and trade publication editors. Schmidt asked the editors about the overused words and phrases he’s seen and wanted to find out how many editors agreed that each of the phrases was overused in news releases and company-authored articles. He received responses from 80 editors:

• Leading (used as an adjective, as in “. . . a leading producer of . . .”)— 94 percent of editors feel is overused. Since everyone wants to be the leading something, there are no longer any true leaders.
• “We’re excited about . . .” (as used in a quote from management)—76 percent of editors feel is overused. Companies also say, “We’re pleased . . .” and “We’re thrilled . . .” Can you picture an editor running a CEO quote like one of these? You need to quote your spokespeople with words that you would like to see in print.
• Solutions—68 percent of editors feel is overused. The word solutions has been ruined by overuse in news releases to the point that it is best avoided, even by solutions providers.
• A wide range of . . .—64 percent of editors feel is overused. This has become the lazy person’s way of avoiding precise writing.
• Unparalleled—62 percent of editors feel is overused.
• Unsurpassed—53 percent of editors feel is overused.

Thank you to the many people who contacted me with suggestions of overused gobbledygook. I just think it is so cool that you can create something on the web, use it to get thoughtful information into the market quickly and efficiently, and then have people offer suggestions to make the original writing even better.

Most of this chapter has been about what not to do. We read a lot of the gobbledygook that so many people use when they create content for their buyers. But there are many organizations with terrific content! I’d like to showcase a couple and lift up their compelling approaches to content creation.

For much more about content creation, check out Everybody Writes: Your Go-To Guide to Creating Ridiculously Good Content by Ann Handley. This is the only guide you need to elevate your content to the level of awesomeness. With wisdom and an infective wittiness, Handley shows you how to take your writing from awkward or awful to electric or elegant. She’s your favorite teacher, cracking you up while her tough love gets you to do the work to improve. Even though I’ve written 10 books, I still learned a great deal from her book.

Injecting Humor into Product Descriptions

I recently purchased an IN1 multitool utility case for my iPhone. It’s a cool product that stores pens, screwdrivers, scissors, and other small accessories—kind of like a Swiss Army knife for a smartphone.

I wasn’t going to buy it, because I thought for sure I couldn’t bring it onto an airplane. But the product description sold me. I loved the writing so much that I actually read all the way down to the part about it being TSA compliant. Otherwise I would have missed that it is safe to bring on a plane.

So whilst the IN1 case won’t assist you in removing and rebuilding a gearbox from a 1985 GMC [sic] Pacer or help you slay, skin and cook a wildebeest, they will help with day to day tasks such as writing notes and cutting open packages. Also by leaving the Cross Bow and Bowie Knife attachment off the IN1 case it has allowed us to make it fully TSA Compliant.

Yes! That’s right the IN1 case is also TSA compliant! Which means that you can plan a trip with your new lover without being scared of holding up the queue explaining that it isn’t a weapon, it is actually just a phone case (they might still be interested in its fantastic design though).

A pen. An analog writing device on my iPhone case. Brilliant! I can use it to fill out customs forms when I travel. And the screwdrivers and scissors are perfect for small repairs in hotel rooms. It’s a great product, and I was able to learn just how great it is because it avoided losing me at hello.

So many product descriptions are practically unreadable. Think about how you can learn from the good people at IN1 and invoke 1985 Pacers or wildebeests or new lovers when describing what your company has to offer. Let’s inject some zest into product descriptions!

Brand Journalism at Boeing

When the Boeing Company³ revamped the website and built a completely new approach to writing for the web, the company shifted dramatically from a dull, technology- and product-focused, gobbledygook-laden site to one focused on interesting stories. The new Boeing site does an excellent job at putting a human (and canine) face on the company.

One of the featured stories I enjoyed is “Rocky Earns His Rest,” about a Belgian Malinois who served for 56 “dog years” as a Boeing explosive-detection dog. “Rocky’s story is unusual, and we never would have used him on the site before,” says Todd Blecher, communications director at Boeing. “Now we show there are real people who work in the company. And we are willing to talk about them—even if they are a dog.”

Blecher heads up an editorial team at Boeing, gathering story ideas from all over the company.

“Freezin’ in Florida” describes testing the 787 Dreamliner in the largest refrigerated hangar in the world. The hangar simulates temperatures as low as −65 degrees Fahrenheit or as high as 165 degrees Fahrenheit. “Rather than have a standard news release that describes testing, we take you inside the hangar to actually show what people have to do to freeze the airplane,” Blecher says. “No airplane comes together without the people who work on it. Now we’re talking about our technology from the perspective of the people.”

The team also creates videos, such as “Boeing 747-8F Performs Ultimate Rejected Takeoff,”⁴ in which a fully loaded 747-8 Freighter with worn-out brakes attempts an aborted takeoff on a California runway. The rejected takeoff, or maximum brake energy test, is one of the most dramatic for a new airplane. The video has had 4 million views as of this writing. The video is great brand journalism because it is not a product pitch. Rather, it is branded content that people want to consume and that shows Boeing in a good light. “We publish content that supports business objectives and fosters positive opinions about Boeing,” Blecher says. “We’re not (directly) selling planes. We’re selling Boeing.”

Interestingly, many Boeing communicators are former reporters. Blecher himself was formerly a real-time wire service journalist at Bloomberg News (one of his duties is to manage the @Boeing Twitter feed). When a story is posted on the Boeing site, it includes the byline of the person who wrote it. “It provides the same sort of accountability mentality that bylines provide in the regular journalism world,” Blecher says. “I know there are some brands that want to be completely brand agnostic, so you don’t really know who’s behind it. I don’t subscribe to that theory. Since most of our creators had been journalists, it was something that was totally natural to them.”

Effective brand journalism is about telling stories. “Find yourself some journalists who can work on your staff,” Blecher says. “I don’t think it’s something you can totally outsource. I know some organizations try to hire people to do that. I think that it is going to be counterproductive. Successful brand journalism, at least to us, requires a level of access to our people that only comes from having the journalists who are on staff talking to our subject matter experts all the time, relating to them, building a relationship, so you get the very best kind of story.”

Your online and offline marketing content is meant to drive action, which requires a focus on buyer problems. Your buyers want this in their own words, and then they want proof. Every time you write, you have an opportunity to communicate and to convince. At each stage of the sales process, well-written materials combined with effective marketing programs will lead your buyers to understand how your company can help them. Good marketing is rare indeed, but a focus on doing it right will most certainly pay off with increased sales, higher retention rates, and more ink and airtime from journalists.