Introduction
Three Reasons for Writing This Book
1. To show how good news contributes to our well-being
One of the great rewards of writing is learning, especially when it’s about improving mental health. In preparing to write this book, in addition to the joy of reading factual stories of progress and acts of charity and kindness, I discovered numerous research projects that help us understand the many benefits of positive mental input. Positive input can be good news, an uplifting story, a sincere compliment, unexpected contact with a dear friend, or a simple expression of thankfulness. These studies, covered in chapter 5, make the strong case that this kind of input promotes good health—physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and spiritual.
2. To point out that the good in the world far outweighs the bad
I choose to focus on the good for a simple reason: there’s far more good in the world and in people than there is bad. This is a fact, not a foolishly optimistic pipe dream, and it’s been established over and over by solid research. I’m an ardent admirer of the people who have proven, and continue to prove, that many significant aspects of life have been steadily improving for many years. I try to summarize their key findings in chapter 4, along with letting you know where you can find the original source of this uplifting truth.
3. To offer a few suggestions for adding and spreading more joy in your life
I don’t have any secrets or magic, as many book titles claim to do, to either make you happy all the time or vastly improve the world. But I do have a few suggestions worth passing on. During my many years of learning, I’ve picked up some simple strategies for dealing with, even rising above, some of the harsh realities that life deals out. My strategies aren’t based on scientific research or intellectual theory, but on the best kind of learning—in the school of life—and are simple, common-sense things we can do to see the good, appreciate life more, and make the most of each day that we’re given. The key is to do these things on a regular basis. None of them requires a major time commitment. There’s no one-system-fits-all. I’m just throwing out some ideas that you might want to try.
Three Key Points
1. This book is not about ignoring the bad news.
I have a positive outlook on life. It’s the result of forming the daily habit of feeding my mind with positive information and training my brain to look for the good. However, I don’t ignore bad news or advise anyone else to ignore it. In fact, I strongly recommend that people stay well informed for two reasons: it makes us better citizens and it helps keep us safe.
Please understand also that I’m not in any way trying to diminish the severity of the horrors, losses, injustices, and anguish felt so deeply by thousands of people in our recent history. Their pain is real. It’s also a wake-up call for our current leaders and the rest of us to work toward needed reforms, especially in furthering our country’s founding principle of liberty and justice for all.
2. This book is not about being happy all the time.
I’m all for happiness, but the simple truth is that no one can be happy all the time, no matter how hard you try. One of the main points I wanted to make when I wrote my first book, Life’s Greatest Lessons, back in 1990, was “Life is hard, and not always fair.” Nothing in the past thirty years has changed my mind.
Unfortunately, pain and suffering are part of all of our lives. We can’t escape, ignore, or make this reality go away. But we can learn effective ways to deal with it, even to rise above it. That’s what this book is about. As the famous philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche taught us, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
3. This book is not a response to all the bad news of 2020.
It would be logical for you to think that I wrote this book because of COVID-19 and all the other bad news of 2020 and beyond. But that’s not the case. I started writing it in the relative calm of 2019, and its roots go back much further. I’ve felt for many years that the media report only on the negative side of life and that the other side needs more exposure. I’m not alone—smart and influential people are working on this issue now, and I’m hopeful that things will improve.
Let me ask you, my readers, as I often asked my students: What gets your attention? What are you letting in? Is it toxic or nourishing?
Attention to negative things equals negative emotions.
Attention to positive things equals positive emotions.
— JENNICE VILHAUER, PHD
Psychology Today
Dr. Jennice Vilhauer pinpoints the main intent of my questions in two sentences: “Attention to negative things equals negative emotions. Attention to positive things equals positive emotions.” I fervently hope that this book helps you pay more attention to those positive things that give you a lift and help you see more of the good around you.
Yin and Yang: The Dark and Bright Sides of Life
The yin-yang symbol of the universe and life comes from ancient China and has been traced back to the fourteenth century BCE. The earliest records date back to the Shang (also called Yin) dynasty (1600–1046 BCE). The symbol greatly influenced both Taoism and Confucianism and is universally accepted today as a representation of the duality of nature—two halves that come together to represent the whole. Yin, the dark side, and yang, the bright side, refer to the balance of life. With the bad comes the good, and with the good comes the bad.
Pain, suffering, death, crime, corruption, violence, racial injustice, poverty, economic disparity, natural disasters, and any other negative you can think of make up the yin. These sorrows are the primary focus of the news media.
Health, happiness, progress, achievement, success, justice, opportunity, natural beauty, kindness, honesty, adventure, charity, entertainment, sports, and every positive you can think of make up the yang. These joys are also part of our world. But they’re not the primary focus of the news media.
It would be a shame to ignore all the good going on around us. Recognizing it has been proven to improve our moods, our health, and our well-being. The good news is that a number of committed people want to challenge the news industry to present a more balanced picture of the world. You’ll find some of them and their organizations in the section “Sources for More Good News” at the end of this book.
In the meantime, I hope you’ll join me in finding the good, appreciating it, and passing it on.