Chapter 96. Aim for Respect Rather Than Being Liked

Don’t you just hate the manager who tries to be your chum, one of the guys/girls, your buddy, your pal. We’ve all worked with them and they are a mess. They embarrass themselves as much as their team. Aim for aloof. Aim for respect rather than being liked. Look, you want your staff to give you all they’ve got, not hugs and drinks down at the corner bar.

You have to create mystique, an air of power, authority, friendliness, without the desperate need to be liked. You have to remain detached.

Some day you may have to fire some of these people, and you don’t need to make it tougher on yourself than you have to.

Some day you will have to promote some of these people, and you don’t want to be seen to be having favorites.

They’ve got to look up to you, respect you, have you as a role model. They can’t do that if you’ve been seen rolling around on the floor of the bar drunk as a skunk on a Friday evening, now can they? You can’t create mystique if you try to be too chummy with them. Maintain a distance and they won’t see it as stand-offishness but will respect the space you give them.

Maintain a physical aloofness as well: no back slapping, hugging, kissing, hair ruffling (hey, I had a manager who used to do this to me; I hated it and him—I was very young but that shouldn’t have made any difference), arm wrestling (you could lose and you’d lose all respect then, believe me), office football, or any form of rough and tumble. Maintain your dignity at all times—and your style, credibility, sanity, and authority.