Children and the Wealthy

If, for example, children are an irritation—as they certainly are—well, that is why God invented nurses, nannies, day care, tutors, boarding schools, and so on, and so on. If we are wealthy enough, we can move our children from birth through college without ever laying eyes on the little creeps. But this, of course, would be a serious mistake. As noted above, the irritations associated with raising children are inseparably bound up with the joys associated with raising children. We can't experience the latter without experiencing the former. Moreover, the way we deal with those irritations teaches our children volumes about what it means to be an adult, about maturity and patience, about what moms and dads are all about.

Yes, it's annoying in the extreme that little Freddie's soccer tournament is being held at a rural backwater three hours' drive away, and on a weekend when our office work is piled to the ceiling. And, yes, it's more than mildly provoking that little Susie's middle-school play happens to be scheduled on the same night as our favorite annual black-tie affair. But slipping Freddie 50 bucks as we head off to the office, or sending a dozen roses to Susie in lieu of our presence, are just more ways of buying our way out of happiness. No, we don't have to attend every single soccer tournament, and, no, we're not monsters if we sometimes favor black-tie affairs over middle-school plays. But we can't let those choices become habits.

The fact that we can buy our way out of these irritations, and thousands more like them, doesn't mean that we should buy our way out of them. The easier it is for parents to buy their way out of the irritating aspects of child rearing, the more likely we are to do it. It's extremely easy for the rich to do it, and hence not doing it—avoiding the temptation as often as possible—is one of the great challenges the wealthy face in pursuing happiness.