TRUTH 16 Embrace—don’t run from—the questions

There must be something in the human gene pool that causes most of us to avoid public speaking.

This philosophy plays out on both sides of the desk, conference table, or podium. The speaker may fear being asked a question, as he may dread the potential embarrassment associated with not having an answer. Likewise, audience members are self-conscious. They don’t want to look silly or uniformed if they can’t articulate or frame their inquiry in a manner that most will view to be constructive and educational.

You can eliminate all of this trepidation with a few managerial pointers.

You must establish a “safe to say” environment

“Safe to say” is an environment created by the way in which you interact with people. It allows participants to constructively express themselves without giving thought to politics, retribution, or other sensitivities. (The Japanese have a wonderful word, “honne,” to describe this practice as speaking from the heart.) It’s a place, perhaps utopian—but worth striving toward—where team members may put aside their inhibitions in order to openly and honestly share their thoughts and feelings. Communication should be free flowing, participatory, and without hesitation. This holds true for the good news and bad, in a setting where all input and feedback is accepted; where facts, fiction, and all the rumors may be discussed.

You should lead with questions

There are bound to be a lot of questions, particularly during times of organizational change. You can encourage their asking, but you should also ask a few of your own, encouraging discussion and debate.

The best questions are open-ended. They require thought beyond a simple “yes” or “no.” These allow participants to come up with their own answers—creating opportunities for collective learning, as well as the establishment of some basic rapport. In a nonjudgmental manner, they bring optimism, show thoughtfulness, build community, and provide clarity on the path toward solution.

Examples of open-ended questions include: “Tell me why you feel this way?” “Can you further explain this to me?” or “What are our possible options?”

Related to this point, you must avoid being judgmental by steering away from asking any questions that might evoke a defensive response such as, “Who is to blame?” “What’s wrong with them?” and “Why bother?”

You should be a critical listener

Did you ever notice that you need the same letters to spell the words “listen” and “silent”? Critical listening helps others explore all sides of an issue; often restating the issue, thus demonstrating your understanding of the problem; interjecting summary points; interpreting nonverbal cues such as facial expressions; and providing some initial reaction.

Part of being a critical listener also involves letting the other person fully present their idea before passing a verbal or nonverbal response.

You should gently prod people for feedback

Professor Rob Gilbert teaches at Montclair State University. He’s a wonderful man and a great teacher. He has the ability to creatively chide, coax, nudge, and push his students to keep them engaged in the material, helping them understand why the lessons are critical for their developmental needs and interests. He draws their active participation through questions, storytelling, videos, self-deprecating humor, complimentary and constructive comment, and with welcomed two-way communication.

There should be a little of Dr. Gilbert in all organizational leaders.

You may say, “I don’t know;” however, then say, “I’ll get back to you.”

And do. On those occasions when an answer isn’t available, be sure to follow up when a response is known—especially for those queries that deal with change. This will actively demonstrate your commitment to and trust with your team by taking their input seriously and reacting accordingly.

You should make sure that everyone’s opinion is welcomed and respected

At a recent “town-hall meeting” at the ABC Company, an employee inquired why her team wasn’t consulted earlier in a particular decision. The executive who the question was pointed to bluntly replied that if he wanted her opinion, he would ask. Further, the executive chastised the inquirer by summarily telling her to keep her mouth shut and to trust management.

How many more questions were asked after that public dressing-down?

To state the obvious, this approach is unacceptable. The employee was embarrassed, other participants were appalled, and a great collective learning opportunity was bypassed.

Oh, and the executive—for not embracing the question—looked like a fool.