Matt returned home by 5:00 p.m., having begun the day at the Third Shift Entrepreneur meeting and going into the office to catch up on work. He grabbed the mail and changed from his work clothes and into something casual before his meeting with Yisel that night.

He stopped himself, hearing Regis’s voice: Break the pattern. What did that mean? Regis gave the example of coming home, watching TV, and drinking two beers. Matt thought he wasn't that guy, though making dinner and drinking a bottle of wine was not out of the norm for Sabina and him. He loved those nights. Was that bad? Was it wasting time to spend a night cooking with your spouse? I get the point if I were some lazy bum who mindlessly watched TV, Matt thought, but I'm not, so do I need to break this pattern?

Resolved not to fall off Regis’s wagon before he had even started, Matt was intent on breaking a pattern. He looked at his comfortable sweats calling him and at the bedside clock: 5:15 p.m. Looking out the window showed a beautiful spring day, temperatures in the mid-60s. Scrap the normal routine. He had not been for a jog after work in as long as he could remember. Running was something he enjoyed, but running after work was something he almost never did because he was usually too exhausted by then, at least that’s what he told himself.

So, with a strong resolve, he rustled through the bottom drawer, pulled out running shorts and a shirt, threw on his running shoes, and grabbed his earbuds. The decision to break his normal pattern felt small but exhilarating.

He went to his playlists and clicked on the first one. There it was again, like the voice of God: Regis. Scrap the normal routine and intentionally make choices. He stopped the music and went to his podcast app. He loved podcasts, but he didn’t always take the time to listen to them. He wasn’t always intentional in what he listened to either, usually choosing the podcast recommended by the app based on his prior listening trends. In fact, Sabina had suggested a podcast to Matt called “More Than Business” by Kara Jones. Sabina had said her podcast blended psychology as well as advice for aspiring entrepreneurs, mostly targeted at women, but she’d suggested it because she knew some of the self-doubt he faced and the wisdom he needed. “Just trust me. There is something in this for you,” Sabina had told him at the time. Kara Jones had started and sold a few different businesses while raising kids, and she was something of a guru for aspiring entrepreneurs. Though Matt might not have identified himself as someone who listens to self-help podcasts, the reviews of this one were nonetheless strong, and he trusted Sabina would know what he needed. Given that Matt now identified himself as an “aspiring entrepreneur,” he needed the infusion of insights and inspiration, so he hit play.

As he stood on the front stoop stretching, he breathed in the air and took in the scene around him. Young people in the neighborhood were coming home from work in business casual with their headphones in. Two kids across the street were drawing a picture with chalk on the sidewalk. Some neighbors down the street were sitting on their stoops listening to music. Live music came from somewhere. The neighborhood was alive. For some reason, it felt new to Matt. That was, perhaps, the most interesting part. He had been living in this neighborhood for several years, but for some reason, standing on his front step, listening to a podcast about aspiring entrepreneurs and preparing to go for a run, something had changed, like a fresh chapter had begun.

He took off and headed toward the lakefront path. He was not used to running without music. For the first several minutes, he tuned the podcast out, enjoying the beautiful sites and scenes of Chicago: people walking dogs, outdoor cafés, sports fans dipping in and out of local bars, and the ebb and flow of professionals getting off trains and buses, coming home from work.

When he hit the lakefront path, he finally tuned into the podcast. “So, fear. That will hold you back,” Kara Jones said as she punctuated her comments with a dramatic pause. Her tone was that of a sympathetic coach, compassionate and welcoming, yet authoritative.

Matt continued at a steady clip down the lakefront path toward downtown, letting his mind wander off and into the words of the “More Than Business” podcast.

“It's the fear of being embarrassed. The fear of failing. The fear of ‘What will my friends think?’ It's the fear that holds us back. For many entrepreneurs, the greatest fear is not that they will lose their money or even that the business won't work. They are stuck in the paralysis of not wanting to update their LinkedIn page to say, ‘I'm starting a company,’ because at that moment, they are accountable. They are accountable to the thing they have said. It's the emotional risk they are signing up for at that point.”

Kara Jones continued …

“Here is the deal: You need other people to create your business and people want to help you create your business, but if it's just in your head, they can't. Starting begins at the point at which you do something outside of your head, which you can't take back because you are accountable to what you have said to other people and to your own reputation. Too many entrepreneurs give themselves the excuse that it never really worked even though they never really started. Worse than that, we can self-sabotage. We would rather kill the idea ourselves than suffer the pain of someone else telling us, ‘I don't like it’ or ‘I don't need it.’ This is what makes starting something, actually starting something, so scary, because you might fail. You've told the world that you are doing it, and as a result, the world might ask, ‘Hey, did you stop doing that thing?’ And you might have to look that person in the eyes and say ‘You know what? I did in fact start that thing. And I tried. And I put everything into it. But it didn't work.’ And it's that very sentence right there, which is why most people don't ever start something. But if you want to get into the arena and actually be an entrepreneur, then that is how it must be. The only other option is not starting. There is no such thing as kind of starting. No such thing. You cannot do this without a willingness to put yourself out there and put your reputation on the line.”

Matt continued at a steady clip, listening to Kara on the podcast, taking in the waning spring day in Chicago. He was lost in his own thoughts, oscillating from the sheer excitement that he might be starting a new journey to some psychological cocktail of fear, anticipation, anxiety, and the guilt and shame that he hadn't done anything yet.

The fervor of the podcast continued in his ears while Kara continued her appeal:

“Fear. That's what we are talking about. It's fear. But here's the good news: It's easier to manage because it's all in your head. Just think about this: It's you versus yourself. Because other people, when you do start something, will find it courageous, bold and exciting. They will admire you for it, yet we struggle to admire ourselves. And listen: all of those people who you think will criticize your ‘failure,’ they are not the people for whom you do this work. Who cares what they think! They are in the cheap seats; you are in the arena. You are doing the important work. But you—you need to decide that your own fulfillment matters more than what society tells you is success. Their version of success might be your own personal prison. So, I get it: you're scared. The only remedy to dealing with the fear is to practice the thing that makes you afraid. Practice it in small ways and then bigger ways. What you learn by putting yourself out there is that, hey, guess what, if it doesn't work, you're still alive and something else good may come of it. At least, you get to go to bed telling yourself that you didn't live your life on the sidelines.

So, do your planning and be smart, but at some point, you need to start. Don't confuse busy activity or even quitting some job you don't like with making progress. You might say ‘I made a plan,’ ‘I built a website,’ ‘I filed some paperwork,’ ‘I finally quit my job’ to which I say fine, okay, do all that stuff. But that isn't the same as starting. Starting is when the world knows you've staked a claim. You're tethered. You can't just delete it. But that's when the good stuff starts. Most people don't even get to that point. They let the thing fail before they even start.”

Something triggered in Matt. He knew he had to take action, and that this reservoir of self-pity in which he dwelled had been a pathetic excuse to take no action. He felt his heartbeat increase. He had once been a motivated soldier. He knew how to take action for himself and get it done, yet these last few years had been a comfortable slide sideways.

“Get going,” he said to himself, surprised at the directness and that he had said it out loud. He kept talking to himself: You know what you need to do. Now go be the adult. Take action.

When he finished the run and came upstairs, he noticed the time: 5:50 p.m. He thought, I feel great, different, in control, and it only took me 40 minutes. He had broken a pattern, and he saw the wisdom of doing so. Why would this simple and even obvious idea have seemed so non-negotiable just last week?

Sabina came home a few minutes later as Matt finished showering and was prepping dinner.

“Hey, babe,” said Matt welcoming her home, more chipper than Sabina had seen him in some time. “I just went for a run and followed your recommendation and listened to that Kara Jones podcast. There's a lot of wisdom there.” Matt was moving quickly. “Dinner will be ready shortly, and then I have to run to meet my new friend for coffee at 8:00 p.m.”

Sabina didn't know what had gotten into him, but she liked the change.

“You're in a good mood,” she noted.

“You know what, I am. It's hard to describe,” Matt reflected. “The meeting this morning was unlike anything I've ever experienced. I feel as if I am coming alive and I'm not sure why other than I met these people who are interesting and who are starting their own businesses at night. There are six of them, and the leader, Regis, is this successful guy who built and then sold a technology business several years back. They call themselves the Third Shift Entrepreneurs, and they're a little tribe who support each other in this process. Each one of them is pursuing something interesting and specific to who they are and what they want to do in life: everything from coffee roasting to a retreat center, to a lawyer who is becoming an antique map dealer.”

Sabina listened with curiosity and some skepticism. She had seen Matt fall in love with ideas-of-the-week only to lose interest shortly thereafter. She had learned not to become emotionally invested in these flights of fancy. When it's real and sticking, I'll know it and support him then, was generally her disposition.

“Cool,” was the one-word response, neither hostile nor enthusiastic. Sabina offered it as a bland acknowledgment.

Matt continued in an animated fashion as he pulled together a quick dinner. “My challenge is that I don't know what I want to do. I know it's something more than what I am doing now. They didn't ask me what business I want to start. It didn't seem to matter to them, but I know I need to figure that out and I desperately want to do so. Having this conversation with a group of people has changed how I feel. I feel different today than I did last week, like I'm not stuck, or at least some sort of path or option exists even if it isn't clear yet.”

“I'm happy for you, honey,” Sabina replied.

Matt could hear the cautious support in her voice, and he didn't blame her. Hell, he didn't believe himself half the time. Why should she? “Okay, so I have homework tonight. I need help. Regis told me to catalog what I love to do or have been continually thinking about. It's sort of a simple exercise, but he underscored how important it was and that I needed to be specific. I need your help. He told me to ask you because an outside perspective would be helpful.”

Sabina looked at him. “Okay. Sure. I'm here for it.”

Sabina's apparent nonchalance for Matt's newfound enthusiasm didn't bother him. He smiled to himself. She'll see the difference in time.