CHAPTER 4

Vic Meets Being Bob

I have now encountered two individuals who taught me a lot in a very short amount of time. I will cherish the time I spent with both individuals. I will always refer to Reggie as Reliable Reggie and will call Samantha, Solitary Samantha. They will forever signify trust and isolation to me. I recalled the stories that Reggie told me as well as the lessons about trust. I reflected on the story of Samantha, who made me look at isolation in a totally different way.

I found the contrast between the two people I had met interesting—the confidence Reggie displayed in all his actions and the way Samantha seemed to lack confidence. The only time Samantha seemed to have confidence was when she spoke about her productive time with her company. Even though both taught me lessons about different aspects and different human perceptions, there appeared to be an overlap between them. I would need to continue to think about this overlap and see if I could draw some sort of correlation.

I had already started to put the lessons from Reggie and Samantha into practice and had enjoyed their benefits. I had seen a more productive department, and the morale of the group seemed to be on the rise. There was still one aspect that I was struggling with and that was the concept of virtual workers. They seemed to have a different mind-set. It wasn’t just a mind-set, they appeared to have a different level of presence related to their work environment compared with the other staff members. I realized I needed to manage them differently than I once thought. I needed to find why their presence was different; their concept of being engaged with the department troubled me.

This took me back to a scholarly book on presence I had read. There was a particular section that addressed seeing from within the organization. The authors addressed the whole organization and the difficulty of seeing the culture of an organization. Edgar Schein, a respected scholar dealing with organizational culture, said, “If you want to understand an organization’s culture go to a meeting.”¹ He discussed the aspects of who speaks at meetings, what topics are discussed or ignored, and the innuendos that occur. This made me think how important presence was to the culture that is developed. I wondered what he would say about my meetings. And more importantly what would he say about the virtual workers—how were they involved in the meetings? How could they see the body language or pick up on the innuendos?

I realized that the VWE is a newer way of running the business. I recognized that this new work environment gave me a chance to get the best people for the department regardless of their physical location. I liked the flexibility this working situation afforded my staff and saw the benefits of work–life balance.

Despite this, I still experienced some difficulties with the virtual workers and noticed that they lack a level of integration with the rest of the staff. The technology the company made available allows for this working arrangement but it appears it is used differently by many of my staff. I wished that all of my staff felt present in the work environment and that they feel like they had all the tools available to them as the colocated employees.

Yes, here it is, the concept of self-efficacy: People do what they are most comfortable with. People will do what they believe is their greatest strength in their own ability to complete tasks and reach goals. Could there be a difference in what the colocated workers felt they could do and what the virtual workers believed they could do? Even if the tools and equipment were the same, did the difference in location (i.e., presence) affect the person’s ability to believe what they could do to be productive?

I thought about the concept of presence and the issues that emerge for all of us in how and when we are really present. Presence is a human perception like trust and isolation. I began to acknowledge that for a person to have a strong level of presence they must feel like they are truly present in their surroundings. I thought about my staff who were working remotely and wondered if they felt present in their work location or if they were actually more connected to the physical location rather than the department. Can they really feel all of the aspects that the colocated staff feels? After all, if a person is not seen, can they really be present?

I reflected on my feelings about how I felt when I first arrived and no one really recognized my presence in the office that first day. I thought maybe I did this to myself by being so self-reliant and not looking for ways to make myself available to my staff. But then again, I was present, wasn’t I?

As I sat at my desk I thought about how lonely I was feeling on that first day and the days that followed by staying to myself. I became aware of how important really being in the moment and integrating myself in the environment would make me feel a different level of presence. Having a level of presence should not be that difficult. If you are committed to the task and you are living in the moment, you should be able to express the level of presence to those around you. But why was this not working? Why did I feel physically present, yet a lack of being present?

This made me think about home and how I always felt present in my home with my family. I was very comfortable with my family and we all functioned with a level of connectedness. We could anticipate each other’s moves and emotions. We knew how to read the body language and we knew what to say to help the situation we were facing. We were present with each other.

I thought about times lately when I really felt a strong level of presence not just by being physically located somewhere but having a deep awareness of the environment and connections to the surroundings. After I started making myself communicate more clearly as Reggie had told me, I felt more connected; translate that to more present. I tried to find times and locations where I felt this level of being present. The more I was engaged in my surroundings the better I felt about being engaged. As silly as it seemed, I felt more present in the hotel once I had stayed there a few days.

This took me back to going to high school. When I first went to class I didn’t feel connected to the classroom or my fellow students, but as the days and weeks passed, I felt more connected to the class. I even laughed when I thought back to how I would always sit in the same seat as did the other students until one day the teacher rearranged the seats. We all walked in and stood there trying to figure out what to do. As we sat in the new arrangement I felt, as I am sure the other students did, like we were no longer as connected to the class as we were the day before. This simple aspect of not sitting in the same seat made me feel disconnected, and therefore, less present in my own classroom. Talk about being a creature of habits, thus a creature of feeling engaged in my surroundings.

My mind wondered and I thought about what I was going to do for dinner and how I had become a frequent shopper at the grocery store that I went to on my first day on my new job in my new city.

I thought a lot about how I always was able to find what I needed there and how the home-cooked meals always made me feel comfortable. I thought about the time I wanted to find a particular product at this store that was sold at my old store in my old town and the next time I went to the store it was there. How did this store always make me feel comfortable, and even more importantly, how did I always feel so connected to my trips there? It was like I was really engaged in the store and the store was engaged in me; there was a sense of being present.

Then it dawned on me. It wasn’t the store itself or any of the physical attributes. It wasn’t the convenience of the store or how the store was laid out. It wasn’t the layout of the isles or as a matter of fact it wasn’t anything physical about the store. It wasn’t the advertising that was all over the city or even the discounts and membership club that the store offered.

It was the one guy who always seemed to be there. It was the way everyone who worked there was connected to the shoppers and the store itself. They all seemed to have a sense of pride and were really present, all the time. With every need that I had this guy was there. This guy was committed to making sure I received service and the level of attention that a customer should get. This guy was committed to being present for my needs and wants.

I thought, who is this guy who wears a name tag with three simple letters on it that spell Bob? I was now determined that I would go to the store tonight and see if I could talk to this individual. I wanted to talk to him like I had talked to Reggie and Samantha and see if he had lessons that would help me.

So I arrived at the store with a different mission in mind on this visit. I was not shopping for groceries; I was shopping for help with the concept of presence that I was experiencing.

I walked in and saw this individual and approached him.

The individual acknowledged me and asked if he could help me. I said yes but that the question I had was not about a product, but about him.

The individual seemed a little taken back but was welcoming to my inquiry.

I introduced myself, and the individual responded by saying that his name was Bob.

I asked if he had a few minutes to maybe help me with a feeling that I had every time I walked into the store. Bob said, “Go on.” I told him that I always felt very welcomed and connected to the store. I commented that he always seemed to be attentive to the happenings around the store. I told Bob that there was a sense of integrating the shopper’s needs and a focus on delivering what the shopper wanted.

Bob thanked me for the kind words and said he was still unsure as to what I needed.

I explained that I was new to the area and told him about my new role with my company and my staff. I told Bob that I had meet Reggie and Samantha and how they helped me deal with aspects that I had struggled with, which were trust and isolation. I was hoping that he could help me with presence in the workplace.

I told Bob that I was still struggling with the virtual staff and the feeling of them being present. I told him I had always felt present in the store and how the store provided a comfortable feeling for me. I wondered if there was something he was doing to make the shoppers feel like they belonged at his store.

Bob said that he would love to talk to me but maybe we should arrange a time to talk when he was not focused on overseeing the operations of the store. He suggested that we find a time when I could come back when there was another manager on duty and he would talk to me about how he operated the store. Bob told me that when he was the manager on duty he needed to be attentive to the happenings and he wanted to provide me with the attention I needed to understand the concept that he prided himself on.

Bob said that he lived by four elements associated with creating a work presence. He explained that these four elements were being focused, attentive, connected, and integrated.²

Bob told me that he would be available tomorrow anytime after 4 p.m., when he got off. I was feeling that I was taking time away from Bob, especially when he was off, so I asked if there was another time. I didn’t want Bob to have to talk to me on his time off.

Bob responded by saying that when you really care about your work environment and when you have the job that requires you to care for others, you are never really off the clock.

We laughed as we both knew the demands of management. I told Bob that if it was alright, I would take him up on the offer and meet him at the store tomorrow at 4 p.m.

I shook Bobs hand and thanked him for the first lesson that he had not formally introduced but made clear anyway. The lesson on being focused was the first lesson associated with feeling present. If you are focused on the surroundings and you clearly understand your role, you are focused and you will feel present.

I grabbed myself an almost home-cooked meal on the way out and headed back to the hotel.

The next day I really was focused on my role as a manager and found it easier to anticipate the needs of my staff as well as get the task at hand completed. This being focused really does translate to being present. I thought to myself, the more present you are, the more mindful you are of your environment.

I arrived at the store around 3:55 p.m. and waited for Bob to be ready for the conversation. Bob asked me to join him in the back office where we would continue our talk.

As I entered the room I couldn’t help but notice all of the pictures of what appeared to be prior grocery stores. These pictures told a story all the way to a large picture of the store that I was currently in.

I asked Bob about the pictures. Bob began to explain but paused and said, “Let me tell you a little about myself first.”

Bob told me that he comes from a background where he was around family-owned businesses all of his life. He took over the family grocery business early on in his life, probably before he was ready. He explained how his father’s unexpected heart attack left him, the eldest son in a family of three, to run the business.

Bob’s family business was very successful and had passed down through two generations, Bob being the third. When Bob took over the business it was still one of only two grocery stores in the small rural area where he had grown up. The area was just outside the major metropolitan area of a growing city, which now was my new home. It wasn’t long before urban sprawl began and large developers began to buy up vacant land in Bob’s smaller town, connecting it to the larger city.

Shortly after, big-box stores started to fill every corner from Bob’s town to the larger city. With the increase in the number of large box stores came the introduction of quantity over quality in terms of customer offerings.

Regardless of how hard Bob tried to provide excellent customer service the customers seemed to be enticed by the convenience they saw in the larger, new grocery stores that came from areas far away that had been associated with the developers.

These new grocery stores presented efficiency and a self-service approach to the stores offering. This was designed to help the shopper move more quickly through the store and be self-reliant on getting in and getting out. These stores didn’t need to hire more local workers; they just added more self-service checkout lines. They used technology such as barcode readers that the shopper could use as they put products in their cart and then just pay on the way out. They built large salad bars and bars that served premade meals for all occasions—breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Bob’s business started to suffer and he was not sure what to do. He recalled the look on many of his employees’ faces as well as his customers’. They all seemed to wander around and go through the motions of either working or shopping. They lacked the connection they once had and lacked the feeling of presence.

Bob explained that presence isn’t about the person who has the loudest voice, the biggest ego, the person who tries to control the environment. He asked me to think about the times I have walked into a group meeting and if I have ever felt a connection to someone, without even talking to them.

I responded that I have felt that.

He asked if I had ever walked into a group meeting and immediately felt a dislike for a person without even talking to that person.

Again, I answered that I had.

He said that is personal presence. The first person is authentic. They are real and they are engaged with their environment. They are not trying to control their environment; they are engaged with their environment.

Bob explained that having presence with others is about showing up first and foremost. This means literally showing up.³ Once you show up you need to connect with others in a way that shows a level of connection with and influence over the people you have come into contact with.

Bob went on with his story and explained he knew he had to take action or otherwise he might have to close the family business.

Bob made a bold move and found a place closer to the city, which was now connected to the suburbs where he once operated the family business.

Bob opened the new store and brought many of his staff with him. As he closed the door to the old store and opened the doors of the new one, he was still bothered by the lack of the old feeling among his staff and shoppers—that of being connected to each other and the stores. He longed for the days when his staff interfaced with the shoppers and the shoppers enjoyed the time in the store and didn’t appear to rush out after filling their baskets.

One day as Bob sat in the back office he found the pictures of the previous stores and had an idea. Why not go back in time and get the employees to feel what it was like in the older days? He took the pictures and had them framed. He then placed them in the back office, which all the employees visited on a regular basis, including when they took their breaks.

Shortly after the new pictures were placed on the walls he noticed his staff asking questions about the old locations and they remembered what it was like working in them. He also noticed with the questions being asked the employees started to work differently. They were more focused on their tasks and the shoppers. They were happier because they felt like they belonged there now and they took pride in wanting the store to have a feeling of a place the shoppers wanted to come to.

Bob knew that finding a way to connect the employees with the work environment was a very important part of making the employees feel present. This was lesson number two. To feel present, one has to feel a relationship with the environment. It is not enough to be physically present; one must have a connection that transcends the physical location and connects the individual with the environment, which is larger than the individual. This is about setting a culture and Bob found a way to do so by getting the employees to understand the history of the store and giving them a connection to the past that led them to the current environment.

This was a very important part of making his employees feel like they were present in the work environment and it improved customer services, which resulted in increased business.

I wasn’t really sure how I might be able to implement this fully in my situation so I asked Bob if there was more to this concept of presence in the workplace.

Bob reminded me of the four aspects related to presence in the workplace. He asked me if I recalled those elements.

I said I did and answered by saying they were focused, attentive, connected, and integrated.

Bob was pleased that I had remembered them and told me that there was no one right answer in trying to develop a sense of work presence.

Bob went on to tell me about how he had to find a way to get his employees to be attentive to the shoppers.

Bob told me that his store was still facing fierce competition and that he had to get his staff to provide a level of service that exceeded the expectation of the shoppers.

He went on to tell me about the days when he was working for his grandfather and how regardless of what task his grandfather was working on he was aware of the overall status of the store. Whether he was in the back or helping someone load groceries into their car he knew what was happening in the overall surroundings of the store.

He said there was one particular day that he will never forget and that was when his grandfather was helping someone load their groceries into their car. Bob was standing outside getting the trash cans cleaned out and moving the carts around when his grandfather called him over and said, “Go into the store and help the individual who is looking for a particular brand of tomato sauce.”

Bob went inside the store and to the isle where the tomato sauces were and didn’t find anyone there. He walked around a little while and then went back out to talk to his grandfather about the individual he was sent in to help. He told his grandfather that he didn’t find anyone. His grandfather finished loading the car and took Bob inside with him. He asked Bob to stay with him and they walked over to the produce section and found an individual with a lost look on their face.

As Bob and his grandfather approached the individual, Bob’s grandfather reached down and grabbed a special tomato sauce that was advertised as fresh sauce that was placed on a ledge under the real tomatoes. He walked up to the individual and offered the jar saying, “Is this what you were looking for?” The individual said yes with a big smile on their face, thanked him, and went to the checkout counter.

Bob was amazed by the events that he had just witnessed and asked his grandfather how he knew what the individual was looking for.

His grandfather said that Bob had made a typical mistake, going to the obvious spot and assuming he would find the person who needed help only where the other tomato sauces where located. Bob’s grandfather told him that he had to learn to be aware of his surroundings and not just look at the obvious spot. Awareness had to be all encompassing, covering the entire environment.

What Bob should have done was to be attentive to the situation and not look at the situation only from his point of view. Bob was confused and asked for more explanation.

His grandfather continued to explain that not all things are what they appear. Bob had to know that the store had tomato sauces in multiple locations and just checking one area was not being fully aware of the environment. If Bob had looked around and been attentive he would have seen the individual walking aimlessly around the produce section. He would have realized that not all tomato sauces were in the main isle and could have anticipated that there was another answer and not only the one that Bob thought was right. He explained to Bob that just because there is one physical location for some tomato sauces that was not the only place tomato sauces could be present in the store.

On the basis of that incident Bob learned to be aware and attentive; he had to look at the whole picture and not just look at things from his point of view. Bob now realized that just a common physical location might not lead him to the actual location where the service is needed. Bob explained to me that this is the third lesson. He had become attentive to all points of view in establishing the level of presence within the environment that created this situation in the store. I needed to now develop an awareness that encompassed my entire department not just the physical location I was actually present in.

Bob went on to say that if everybody only viewed the work through their point of view many things would be missed. Missing things leads to a disconnection and soon that disconnection can lead people to lose a sense of being present in the true environment. It was Bob’s job to make sure that he created a level of presence by being attentive to the needs and desires of others. For Bob these were his shoppers; for me these were all of my staff, colocated or not.

I smiled and said that was an incredibly different way of looking at things. I knew what I needed to do, especially for my virtual workers: I needed to create a sense of presence from their point of view and not my own.

I asked Bob if there was anything else that had helped him create that particular type of culture.

Bob responded by saying, “If you remember the four elements of creating presence in the work environment and practice those on a regular basis, you should be able to create the type of unified culture I was trying to establish.”

I thanked Bob and said I hoped to be able to talk to him again and wished him continued success.

Bob politely said I was welcome. While I was walking away, he commented, “If you stay in the moment and focus on the environment, you will always be present.”

¹E. Schein. 1992. Organizational Culture and Leadership, 2nd ed (San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass).

²A. Cuddy. Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges (New York, NY: Little, Brown and Company), p. 53.

³A. Cuddy. Presence (London, UK: Hachette), p. 70.