Habit 17

They Have Self-Respect

Secret 39 for Creating Your Own Success: Be Respectful

Self-made millionaires place a high value on being respectful. It is a reflection of their character. Like everyone else, these successful people gain respect in one way: by earning it.

Gary M., a prominent attorney and the twenty-sixth self-made millionaire interviewed for this book, explained the way he demonstrates his respect for others is by making friends with all persons who he deals with in life. His sincere caring for people is exemplified in the eleven forms of respect that he extends to others. There is no hoo-ha here. I have personally witnessed it.

1. If he says he is going to do something, you can count on him doing it. (Secret 8: Keep Your Word)
2. He is honest. (Secret 9: Be a Person of Integrity)
3. When something is requested of him, my experience has been that he places as high a value on others' time as he does on his own time. (Secret 11: Be Punctual)
4. He lends an ear, which may be one of the reasons that individuals gravitate to him (Secret 22: Listen Up)
5. He is in front of the line when it comes to doing favors for others. (Secret 24: Pay It Forward)
6. He works out regularly, which demonstrates a respect for his physical appearance. (Secret 25: Exercise for the Health of It)
7. He respects his mind by scheduling time to meditate. (Secret 26: Take Time to Think)
8. He innately sees the good in people because he is optimistic by nature. (Secret 29: Stay Positive)
9. Having achieved his self-made millionaire status, he does not see himself as better than anyone else. (Secret 40: Be Humble)
10. He is appreciative of even the smallest favors extended, especially because he is usually the giver and not the receiver. (Secret 41: Be Grateful)
11. He helps others in need. (Secret 43: Give Back)

You may be saying to yourself, “I have those 11 attributes, yet I am not a self-made millionaire.” Congratulations! I told you at the beginning of this book that you may be closer to self-made millionaire status than you think. It is a matter of keeping your eye on the big picture as you complete the remaining secrets in the book that are still on your “to do” list.

Five Ways to Show Respect to Others

1. Make everyone's request your priority. You can do this by under-promising and over-delivering.
2. Be more interested in learning about others than you share about yourself.
3. After listening to what someone has to say, echo what you heard before sharing your comments.
4. Anytime it takes someone more than fifteen minutes to do something for you, send them a follow-up note. The style of note (an e-note, keyed letter, or handwritten note) is your choice.
5. Treat everyone with a high level of courtesy. Your respect for others will demonstrate the respect that you have for yourself.

Secret 40 for Creating Your Own Success: Be Humble

One of the many preconceived notions that I had of self-made millionaires is that their success went to their head. Was I ever wrong! At least that has not been the case with the thirty self-made millionaires who are part of this book.

Although their net worth has changed, most self-made millionaires' values have not. They have a virtue that is often both overlooked and definitely underrated. It is their humility.

Perhaps the modest beginning of many of these individuals is one reason that they are low-key about their status despite their seven-figure net worth. Like many of us, they undoubtedly have put in the long hours to achieve their success. Some still do despite having “made it.”

Now that they have achieved this success status, they have proven to themselves that they can do it. A large percentage of these individuals who have made it do not have the need or want, however, to flaunt their success or to be treated more special than anyone else. In fact, many self-made millionaires prefer to blend in. That is reflected by where they live, the vehicles some drive, and their modest dress. They choose to live below their means, as you will read in Secret 44 for creating your own success.

Warren Buffett is a prime example. Although Fortune's 2017 list of the world's wealthiest billionaires ranked him the second-richest person on earth, Warren chooses to live in a home in Omaha, Nebraska, that he bought in 1958 valued at $31,500. His financial status has since changed, but, like many self-made individuals, his choice of creature comforts has stayed the same.

Besides living a modest life style in comparison to their net worth, these confident individuals also often prefer to remain under the radar screen in other ways. Many of them are the listeners of the world and prefer to focus more on others rather than bragging about their own accomplishments—unless asked, that is. They thrive on helping others to achieve success.

What about you? Why not test your humility quotient by taking the following four-point test:

1. You focus on others more than yourself.
2. You engage in conversations as an active listener by asking questions rather than sharing information about yourself.
3. You let your values take you down the right path rather than what may be in your best interests.
4. You enjoy giving even more than receiving.

How did you do? If you answered yes to the above questions, then you have this secret mastered. If not, practice makes perfect.

Four Ways to Stay Humble

1. Whether you are well on your way to achieving self-made millionaire status or are still on the journey, remember your roots. It will keep you from allowing your success-in-the-making or perhaps your achieved “success” from inflating your ego.
2. Focus on others. Ask more questions about others than what you share about yourself. Besides giving others an outlet to express themselves, you may be pleasantly surprised how much you will learn.
3. Help others in need. Besides making the world a better place, you will appreciate what you have even more.
4. When you are part of a team project, deemphasize your role in it. Instead, showcase others' contributions. Your modesty will take you far.