• Page numbers in italics refer to figures.

A

• Ableism, 83–86, 90–91, 98, 109
• Accountability, 152–154
• Achievement, 8–12, 63–75
  • as learned orientation, 70–71, 73
  • practice, 67–68
  • and satisfaction, 72–74
  • systems thinking, 68–70
• The Achievement Habit (Roth), 70
• Adam, Barbara, 79, 146
• Adaptation, 48–49, 144, 171, 179, 182
• Agency, 9, 59, 61, 70, 108, 143–144, 167, 179–181, 183
• Ahmed, Sara, 169
• Alderson, Arthur S., 72
• Amazon, 70
• Ambition, 9, 12, 20, 107–109, 179
• Ameliorative value, 147
• Anabaptism, 41
• &yet, 108
• Anxiety, 7, 9, 83, 89, 126
• Apps, 5, 63, 128
  • productivity, 99
  • project-management, 153–154, 163, 173
• Assumptions, 129, 141–142, 142, 188
• Atelic activities, 65–66
• Attenberg, Jami, 63
• Autism, 7–8, 28–29, 48–49, 51, 67, 84–86, 90–91, 130
• Autism in Adulthood (journal), 29
• Autistic masking, 29, 130, 180
• Avenir, Sara, 108–109

B

• Bandura, Albert, 108, 113–115, 149, 173
• Barry, Rita, 97–99, 106–108
• Becoming, 57–61, 115–119, 118
• Berger, Brittany, 86
• Beyoncé, 79–81, 92
• Bias, confirmation, 142
• “Big assumptions,” 142, 149
• Big Five personality traits, 47
• Big Mountain (Montana), 112–113, 121, 124
• Bingo, 17–18
• Bliss, Eula, 47
• The Body Is Not an Apology (Taylor), 16, 85
• Borders Books and Music, 4, 87
• Boundaries, 183
• Bowler, Kate, 5
• Brainstorming, 160–162
• Bright-Sided: How Positive Thinking is Undermining America (Ehrenreich), 33
• Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Lawson), 77
• brown, adrienne marie, 14, 73–74, 144
• Brown, Brené, 42
• Budgeting, 78
• Burnout, 9, 13, 23–25, 24, 43, 78, 78, 83, 130
• Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle (Nagoski), 25
• A Burst of Light (Lorde), 182
• But You Don't Look Sick (blog), 84
• Buy-in, 145–155
  • accountability and motivation, 152–154
  • cultivating of, 154–155
  • discipline, 150–152
• Byrne, Rhonda, 4, 6

C

• Calvin, John, and Calvinsim, 39–40
• Can't Even: How Millennials Became the Burnout Generation (Peterson), 17, 26, 88
• Capacity, 8, 77–95, 108, 173, 183
  • money, 91–92
  • personal energy, 83–91
  • renewable resources, 93
  • skills, 92–93
  • time, 79–83
• Capacity audit, 93–95
• Capitalism, 40–41, 44, 73, 74, 88, 107, 109, 148, 179
• Capitalist Realism (Fisher), 36
• Captain Picard (fictional character), 35
• Catholic Church, 39–40
• Choosing projects, 162–163
• Chunking, of projects, 166
• Clance, Pauline Rose, 22
• Clinton, Bill, and administration, 35
• Closed loop projects, 165
• Collective bargaining, 20
• College, 101
• Colonization, 73
• Commitments, 127–132
  • competing, 140–141, 141, 143, 166
  • goals vs., 102–103
• Communities, 105
• Competing commitments, 140–141, 141, 143, 166
• Complicit suffering, 179–180
• Conditioning, 117–119, 188
• Confidence Culture (Orgad and Gill), 20
• Confirmation bias, 142
• Constructive development theory, 57–59, 140
• Constructivism, 57–58
• Consumer economy, 60
• Control, proactive vs. reactive, 114–115
• Country Living (magazine), 42
• Covert, Abby, 111
• COVID-19 pandemic, 60
• Creator economy, 54–55
• Critical thinking, 6, 147, 167, 184
• Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism (Montell), 157
• Cultural expectations, 59
• Cultural narratives, 31, 44
• Cultural programming, 34
• Cultural salvation, 43
• Cultures, 105

D

• Danny On Trail (Montana), 112
• Deadlines, 174
• De Beauvoir, Simone, 133
• Decision-making, financial, 179
• Deconstruction:
  • of cultural narratives, 31
  • and disorientation, 99
  • and game theory, 117
  • of relationship to goals, 12–16
  • of social conditioning, 119, 134–135
• Deep Space Nine, 34
• Delay of work towards goals, 137
• Denying help, 178
• Depression, 7, 10, 85
• Destinations, 115–132
  • becoming, 115–119, 118
  • commitments, 127–132
  • growth edges, 124–127, 125
  • personal vision, 119–123, 120, 122
• Development, psychological, 57–58
• Developmentalism, 57–58
• Didion, Joan, 152
• Differences, overcoming, 34, 43, 43–44
• Directions, 133–144
  • map-making, 137–140
  • pursuing a strategy, 143–144
  • strategies, 135, 135–137
  • wanting to change, 140–143
• Disability, 21, 37, 52, 84
• Discipline, 150–152
• Disconnection, 38
• Discrepancy, 113, 113–115
• Disequilibrium, 114–115
• Disorientation, 99–102, 101

E

• Eating disorders, 10
• Economic policy, 19
• Economic salvation, 43
• Editing your plan, 171
• Educators, 55–56
• Efficiency, 56
• Ehrenreich, Barbara, 33
• The Electricity of Every Living Thing (May), 8
• Emergent strategy, 144
• Emotional labor, 83, 89–91, 130
• Employment benefits, 100–101
• Energy, personal, 83–91
• Enneagram, 47
• Equal opportunity, 39
• Equations, 187
• Eskandani, Shirin, 30
• Essential workers, 60
• The Ethics of Ambiguity (de Beauvoir), 133
• Etsy, 56
• Existential value, 147–148
• Expectations, 59, 83, 85–86
• External forces on identities, 57

F

• Fascination Advantage system, 47
• Feedback loops, 170–176, 174
• Feminism, 21
• Financial decision-making, 179
• Finesse, 175
• Fisher, Mark, 36
• Fitness trackers, 88, 107
• Fixing, 84
• Flathead Lake (Montana), 134
• Flathead Valley (Montana), 112
• Flexibility, 167
• Focus, 137–138, 143
• Follow-through, 175–176, 177, 178
• Foys Lake (Montana), 134
• Franklin, Benjamin, 41, 185
• Fraser, Nancy, 36
• Freedom, individual, 39
• Free markets, 19, 21
• Freudenberger, Herbert, 23–24
• Friedman, Milton, 20, 36
• Future outcomes, 66
• Future sense of self, 57

G

• Games, 100, 101, 117–118. See also Sports
• Game theory, 117
• Gender, 21, 52
• Gilkey, Charlie, 163
• Gill, Rosalind, 20, 36, 74
• Girl, Wash Your Face (Hollis), 71
• Glacier National Park, 112, 124
• Glatzel, Mara, 107, 108
• Glei, Jocelyn K., 49
• Goals, 33–45, 127
  • carrot-and-stick, 114–115
  • commitments vs, 102–103, 127
  • cultural obsession with, 1
  • deconstruction of relationship to, 12–16
  • delay of work towards, 137
  • Edwin Locke on, 106
  • overcoming differences, 34, 43, 43–44
  • and political ideologies, 34–37
  • and Protestant work ethic, 39–41
  • realistic, 77
  • and rugged individualism, 37–39, 41, 44
  • and supremacy culture, 41–44
  • toxic relationship to, 8–12
  • in Validation Spiral, 28–31
• Goals! (Tracy), 71
• Goals and identities, 47–61
  • becoming, 57–61
  • internet, 53–57
  • and the market, 52–53
  • self-identities, 49–52
• Goal-setting theory, 106
• God's will, 150–151
• Good and Mad (Traister), 71
• Graduate school, 10, 30, 116
• Great Depression, 36, 38
• Grocery delivery, 91–92
• Growth:
  • community, 13
  • edges, 124–127, 125
  • personal, 8, 13–14
• Growth without striving, 97–110
  • disorientation, 99–102, 101
  • and goals vs. commitments, 102–103
  • personal values, 103–110, 104
  • self-efficacy, 108–109
  • striving, 97–99
• The Guardian, 37

H

• Habits, 129
• Having and Being Had (Bliss), 47
• Hayek, Friedrich, 19–20, 36, 38
• Health insurance, 101
• Hedonic treadmill, 72
• Highline Trail (Montana), 124–126
• Hijacked values, 118–119
• Hiking, 64, 112–113, 124, 133–134, 137
• Hochschild, Arlie Russell, 89
• Hollis, Rachel, 71, 74, 98–99
• Home ownership, 100, 107
• Hoover, Herbert, 37–39
• How to Make Sense of Any Mess (Covert), 111
• Hurry Slowly podcast, 49, 121
• Hypotheses, 173

I

• I Came All This Way to Meet You (Attenberg), 63
• Identity(-ies):
  • crises, 126–127
  • external forces on, 57
  • relational, 50–51
• Ideologies, political, 34–37
• Imes, Suzanne, 22
• Immigrant status, 21, 37, 87
• Immunity to change framework, 140, 142
• Imposter Syndrome, 21–22, 180
• Individual freedom, 39
• Individualism, 21. See also Rugged individualism
• Individualism and Economic Order (Hayek), 19
• An Injustice!, 42
• Instagram, 53–55, 71
• Interdependence, 69, 93, 119
• International Business Times, 79
• Internet, 53–57
• Introductions, 50
• The Invisible Kingdom: Reimagining Chronic Illness (O'Rourke), 97
• Isolation, 7

J

• Jackson, Elisabeth, 81
• Jay-Z, 79
• Jennings, Rebecca, 55
• Jim Crow, 38
• Joy, 150–151

K

• Kalispell (Mont.), 133–134
• Katz-Gerro, Tally, 72
• Kegan, Robert, 57–59, 103, 140–141, 149
• Keynes, John Maynard, 36
• Keynesian economics, 19, 36
• Kierkegaard, Søren, 150–152, 188
• Knitting, 70

L

• Labor:
  • emotional, 83, 89–91
  • regulations, 38
• “The Ladder,” 42, 44, 53
• LaGuardia-LoBianco, Alycia, 179–182
• Lahey, Lisa, 140–141, 149
• Lake McDonald (Montana), 124
• The Law of Attraction, 4–5
• Lawson, Jenny, 77
• Learned orientation, 70–71, 73
• Lennington, Michael, 153
• The Lily of the Field and the Bird of the Air (Kierkegaard), 150, 188
• Limitations, 84–87, 125–126
• Living a Feminist Life (Ahmed), 169
• Locke, Edwin, 106, 108
• Loneliness, 38
• Lorde, Audre, 182
• Loving relationships, 48
• Lupus, 84
• Luther, Martin, 40

M

• The Managed Heart (Hochschild), 89
• Map-making, 137–140
• Margin, 182–185, 183, 184
• Market value, 52–53
• Marriage, 100, 107
• Marxist philosophy, 19
• Maslow, Abraham, 127
• May, Katherine, 8
• Mayflower (ship), 39
• Meadows, Donella, 69, 70
• Medals, 12
• Meditation, 70
• Merit badges, 12, 74, 98
• Meritocracy, 59, 109
• Methodism, 41
• Metropolitan Opera, 30
• Midlife: A Philosophical Guide (Setiya), 65, 147
• Millennial generation, 30, 88
• “Mind-cure,” 5
• Mindset, 85
• Miserandino, Christine, 84
• Misery, 73–74, 151
• Monbiot, George, 37
• Money, 88, 91–92, 136–137
• Monocultural nation, illusion of, 20
• Montell, Amanda, 157
• Mont Pelerin Society, 18–20, 36
• Moran, Brian, 153
• Motivation, 114–115, 152–154, 173
• Mountaintop experiences, 112–114
• Multicultural society, 21
• Multidimensional identities, 50–51, 51
• Multilevel marketing, 2–4
• Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, 47

N

• Nagoski, Amelia, 25
• Nagoski, Emily, 25
• Narrative(s):
  • cultural, 44
  • harmful, 8, 13
  • influence of, 106
  • overcoming, 43, 84
• Negative self-talk, 178–180
• Nelson, Maggie, 145
• Neoliberalism, 20, 36–37, 41, 44, 59, 100, 109
• Network self, 50–51
• Neurodivergence, 21, 84
• New Deal, 35
• New Thought, 5–6
• New Year's resolutions, 33, 41, 42, 99, 148
• New York City, 30
• Nguyen, C. Thi, 100–101, 107, 117–118
• Nonfiction (research firm), 54–55

O

• Obedience, 150–151
• Objectification, 59–61
• On Freedom (Nelson), 145
• Online platforms, 55
• Open loop projects, 165–166
• Oppositional relationships, 57
• Oppression, 73
• Orgad, Shani, 20, 36, 74
• Orientation, learned, 70–71, 73
• O'Rourke, Meghan, 97
• Outcome-oriented activities, 66–67
• Outcomes, future, 66
• Overcoming differences, 34, 43, 43–44
• Overcommitment, 22–23, 26, 184
• Overextending, 182, 184
• Overplanning, 184
• Overstimulation, 86
• Ownership, 153

P

• Peale, Norman Vincent, 3, 5–6
• Pearson, Amy, 29
• Perfectionism, 178
• Performance:
  • goals, 27–28
  • valued standards of, 114
• Personal energy, 83–91
• Personal failures, 107
• Personality:
  • change, 6–8
  • profiles, 47–48
• Personal responsibility, 59, 99, 153
• Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Act, 35
• Personal values, 103–110, 104, 109–110
• Personal vision, 119–123, 120, 122, 138
• Peterson, Anne Helen, 17, 25, 60, 88
• Pietism, 41
• Planning, linear, 172
• Playing field, level, 21
• Plymouth Plantation, 39
• Podcasts and podcasting, 9, 51, 138, 164
• Policy, economic, 19
• Political ideologies, 34–37
• Political programming, 34
• Positive affirmations, 59
• Positive thinking, 5–8, 85
• Post-Adolescent Mind, 58
• Poverty, 179
• The Power of Positive Thinking (Peale), 5
• Practice, 67–68
• Practice-orientation, 73, 143
• The Precariat: A New Dangerous Class (Standing), 87
• Precarity, 87–90, 98
• Predestination, 40
• Present mindfulness, 66
• Presidential election (2016), 13
• Priorities, 71
• Privatization, 21
• Proactive control, 114–115
• Procrastination, 178
• Production of discrepancy, 113, 113–115
• Productivity, 8, 56, 59, 61, 69-70, 73, 79-82, 86, 108, 146, 167, 185
• Professionalism, 56
• Programming, cultural and religious, 34
• Project planning, 157–168, 159–161
  • brainstorming, 160–162
  • choosing projects, 162–163
  • making your plan, 167–168
  • next steps, 163–167
• Project(s):
  • briefs, 163–165, 167, 174
  • choosing, 162–163
  • chunking of, 166
  • closed loop, 165
  • open loop, 165–166
  • routine, 166
• Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism (Weber), 40
• Protestant work ethic, 39–41, 44, 53, 56, 148
• Psychological development, 57–59
• Puritanism, 39–41, 44, 149
• Pursuit of strategy, 143–144

Q

• Quality:
  • of energy, 175
  • of life, 14
• Quilting, 161

R

• Race and racism, 21, 52, 180
• Reactive control, 114–115
• Reagan, Ronald, and administration, 35–36
• Real Change (Salzberg), 69
• Realistic goals, 77
• Reassessment, of plans, 171
• Recognition, 8–9
• Reduction of discrepancy, 114
• Relational identities, 50–51
• Relationships, oppositional, 57
• Reliability, 58
• Religious programming, 34
• Renewable resources, 93
• Resistance to change, 140–142
• Resources, 77, 93, 183
• Richards, Amy, 8
• Rigidity, 188–189
• Rigor, 188–189
• Rocky Mountains, 112, 134
• Roman Catholic Church, 39–40
• Rose, Kieran, 29
• Roth, Bernard, 70–71
• Routine projects, 166
• Routines, 64–65, 67–68
• Rugged individualism, 37–39, 41, 44, 53, 153, 179
• Running, 27–28, 51–52, 66, 70, 125, 169–170

S

• Salvation, 43
• Salzberg, Sharon, 69–70
• Sandberg, Sheryl, 74
• Satisfaction, 72–74
• Saying no, 81
• The Secret (Byrne), 4–5
• Secularization, 41
• Selassie, Sebene, 31, 121, 127, 146
• Self, network, 50–51
• Self-actualization, 5, 127
• Self-alienation, 43, 52, 89–90, 100, 101
• Self-Authoring Mind, 58–59
• Self-authorship, 101
• Self-awareness, 52
• Self-care behaviors, 180–182
• Self-comparison, 72
• Self-delusion, 52
• Self-discipline, 40, 148–152
• Self-efficacy, 108–109, 149, 162, 174
• Self-erasure, 42
• Self-help literature, 70, 73, 74, 99
• Self-identities, 49–52
• Self-knowledge, 166, 176–178
• Self-regulatory systems, 173
• Self-reliance, 37
• Self-sabotage, 11, 178–182
• Self-talk, negative, 178–180
• Self-Transforming Mind, 59, 61
• Sense-making, 142
• Setiya, Kieran, 65, 147
• Seven, Zuva, 42
• Seymour, Richard, 54
• Shared values, 105, 119
• Shooting for the moon, 2–3
• Silence, 150–151
• Simplification, 118–119
• Single-mindedness, 9
• Situational identities, 50
• Skills, 92–93
• Slavery, 20
• Sleep trackers, 88
• Social conditioning, 117–119
• Social Forces (journal), 72
• Socialization, 117
• Socialized Mind, 58–59
• Social media, 53–57, 71
• Social safety net, 38
• Social Security, 18
• Softball, 175
• Spiritual salvation, 43
• Spoon theory, 84–85
• Sports, 27–28. See also individual sports
• Square Peg Podcast, 8
• Standing, Guy, 87
• Start Finishing (Gilkey), 163
• Star Trek, 34–35
• State of flow, 80
• Stimulus checks, 60
• Strategic priorities, 140, 143
• Strategies, 135, 135–137
• Strategy, pursuit of, 143–144
• StrengthsFinder, 47
• Stretching, 182
• Striving, see Growth without striving
• Structure, 100, 102
• Student debt, 88, 136–137
• Substack, 54
• Suffering, complicit, 179–180
• Suicide, 7
• Supremacy culture, 41–44, 53, 56, 100
• Switzerland, 18
• Systems thinking, 68–70, 93

T

• Tax incentives, 100
• Taylor, Linda, 35
• Taylor, Sonya Renee, 16, 42, 85
• Technology, 173
• TED Talks, 9
• Telic activities, 65–66, 165
• Thatcher, Margaret, 35–36
• Theories of self, 50
• Theory of constructive development, 57–59
• Theory of goal-setting, 106
• Theory of spoons, 84–85
• TikTok, 53–55
• Time, 79–83
• Time journal, 81, 146
• Time off, paid, 101
• Tolentino, Jia, 54
• Tracy, Brian, 71
• Traister, Rebecca, 71
• Treadmill, hedonic, 72
• Trick Mirror (Tolentino), 54
• Triggers, 176, 188
• Trustworthiness, 58
• Tubman, Harriet, 71
• Turbulence, 69
• The 12 Week Year (Moran and Lennington), 153

U

• Uber, 89
• Uncommon Accountability (Moran and Lennington), 153
• Undercommitment, 25–28, 26
• Unemployment insurance, 19, 20
• United Kingdom, 35–36
• United States, 34, 36
• Urgency, 146–147

V

• Validation-seeking, 18, 25
• Validation Spiral, 17–32, 24, 85, 147, 185
  • burnout, 23–25
  • goals, 28–31
  • overcommitment, 22–23
  • undercommitment, 25–28, 26
  • worthiness, 18–22
• Value(s), 58–59, 70
  • capture, 107, 117–118
  • hijacked, 118–119
  • personal, 100-110
  • shared, 105
• Variables, mathematical, 187
• Veraeghe, Paul, 52–53
• Via Character Strengths Assessment, 47–48
• Vision, personal, 119–123, 120, 122, 138
• Visual art, 63–64
• Visualizations, 105
• Vox, 55
• Voyager, 34

W

• Wallace, Kathleen, 50–51
• Wanting to change, 140–143
• Warzel, Charlie, 60
• Weber, Max, 40–41, 148–149
• Web of identities, 111
• Weightlifting, 27–28
• Welfare system, 35–36
• Wheelchairs, 84
• Whitefish, Mont., 97
• Whitefish Range (Montana), 134
• Women's suffrage, 20, 25, 38
• Work environments, 56–57
• Workers:
  • educated, 87
  • essential, 60
• “Working” your plan, 171
• Worthiness, 12–13, 16, 18–22, 107
• Writing, 152

Y

• Yoga, 27, 66
• You Belong (Selassie), 31
• Yousafzai, Malala, 71
• YouTube, 89

Z

• Zero-based scheduling, 81–82, 82, 185
• Zimbabwe, 42
• Zoom, 82