In anxious moments, our autonomic (involuntary) nervous system causes the release of stress-inducing hormones such as adrenaline, norepinephrine, and cortisol. These hormones trigger reflexive reactions, including an increased heart rate, raised blood pressure, pupil dilation, decreased saliva production, profuse sweating, and oxygen deprivation. In turn, these lead to an overwhelming acceleration in brain activity that often results in disorientation and the separation of cognitive functioning and verbal skills. Or in other words, a separation of the brain and tongue. Learning to breathe properly helps calm the autonomic nervous system and synchronize the brain and tongue to work in perfect unison.

Every human on the planet is born breathing in the same way, but by age three stress reverses normal breathing patterns. Consequently, most adults do not breathe properly. Ujai breathing, as taught in yoga, re-creates our original breathing patterns. Balancing and calming, it is a diaphragmatic breathing technique that first fills the lower belly, then rises through the chest. By increasing oxygenation and building internal body heat, it naturally relaxes the sympathetic, or panic-inducing, portion of the autonomic nervous system. To stay calm and focused during stressful situations, follow the Ujai breathing method:

Nice and slow.

Make every breath last three to five seconds.

See your stomach rise and fall with each slow breath you take.

Use your nose—it warms and filters the air.

If you can, try to breathe this way all the time. Practice helps considerably. Consider taking a yoga class or, at the very least, watching clips of correct Ujai breathing on the Internet. As you'll discover, proper breathing truly is the key to synchronizing mind and body. Within the context of a media interview, spokespeople must make sure they breathe correctly when listening to questions. The tough questions are the ones that make people stop breathing and default to a panicked, "What am I going to say?"

Hearing a spokesperson unleash a torrent of words is not by itself a giveaway that the individual is nervous. Often, people speak quickly to imply a sense of urgency or to reflect passion for the subject matter. But when spokespeople talk quickly to reporters, they risk experiencing brain-tongue separation, a verbal glitch where the brain and tongue disengage, resulting in words that leave your lips faster than you intended. Talking slowly helps you control what you say, as you say it.

Everyday conversation has the average person speaking at 175 words per minute. While pursuing the Democratic nomination, speeches by Barack Obama averaged 110 words per minute. Speaking in this type of thoughtful, deliberate manner adds "gravitas to the message almost regardless of what the message is," said speechwriter Dan McGroarty, who wrote for former president George H. W. Bush. In contrast, Hillary Clinton clocked in at an average of 188 words a minute in her campaign speeches. McGroarty told the Globe and Mail that "to be above 125, 130 is breakneck."^[51]

Speaking slowly in stressful situations is easier said than done, however. To slow yourself down, slightly stretch the vowel sound in each word. Don't stretch the vowel to the point where it sounds ridiculous, but even a slight elongation will force you to linger over each word and produce a slower pace. Another way to slow yourself down is to make a concerted effort to pause between sentences, thoughts, and phrases.

Well-timed pauses are essential in delivering messages and presentations that engage people. While a speaker's words can drive away an audience, silence can recapture their attention. Sound counterintuitive? Imagine you're at a conference listening to a presenter who is trying to pack as much information as possible into his sixty-minute time slot. After a few minutes of listening to the presenter drone on and on, you're likely to start reading a newspaper or checking your e-mail. As one sentence runs into the next, pretty soon everyone in the audience is reading, looking at their smartphone, or thinking about what's for lunch. But what happens if the speaker suddenly stops talking? Everyone immediately looks up. The sudden silence captures everyone's attention because something important must be about to happen. Where an uninterrupted flow of words can disengage, the silence created by a well-timed pause engages.

Pausing also helps your messages penetrate by allowing audience members or reporters time to process your words and information. Therefore, after delivering an important point, pause for a second or two to let your words sink in and to highlight the significance of what you've said. Another benefit of pausing is that it acts as a quality-control measure, making you sound more articulate and convincing. Speaking quickly causes many spokespeople to use words or phrases like "uh," "um," or "you know" as a way of linking thoughts. Uttering these phrases makes a speaker appear inarticulate and is a clear indication that the brain has disconnected from the tongue. Better to pause, take a deep breath, and only say a word when you know precisely what you want to say. If you ever feel overwhelmed while being interviewed or speaking in front of an audience, recalibrate by breathing and pausing.

Facial expression is one of the most prevalent and powerful channels of nonverbal communication. It can be used to modify speech, control conversation, convey personality, and express emotion. Consequently, spokespeople must look as if they're saying what they mean and mean what they're saying. Otherwise a mixed message is delivered, undermining the credibility of both the messenger and the message. For instance, if your face naturally defaults to a smile there will be a disconnect if, during a media interview, you smile while discussing a serious issue or subject.

To achieve congruency when juggling the visual component, always let the look on your face match the mood and tone of what you are saying, as you are saying it. If your message is happy or positive, smile as you talk. If you, like me, are unable to smile on cue, then simply lift your eyebrows as you speak, which in turn will lift your face. This gives the impression of a relaxed, upbeat demeanor. If your message is sad or negative, however, furrow your brow as you speak to demonstrate your concern. If your message is designed to sound tough, tilt your head down slightly and roll your eyes up, as if you're latching onto someone with your gaze. For additional information on facial expressions and how they relate to emotions, I encourage you to refer to the works of Dr. Paul Ekman. Besides publishing a number of groundbreaking books and articles on the subject, he also maintains an interactive website that explores both the utility and interpretation of facial expressions.

Our eyes are one of our greatest communication tools. They reveal thoughts and feelings and help us better understand one another. They also help create a bond between speaker and audience. Whether you realize it or not, every form of oratory communication is actually a two-way dialogue—even speeches, lectures, and presentations. One person sends a message and another person receives it. Eye contact guarantees this two-way communication has taken place. By looking at your audience, you can see whether listeners are engaged or not. Are they interested in what you're saying? Do they understand your messages?

To ensure you're engaging an audience, deliver one complete thought to one face or one part of the room before shifting eye contact. An audience essentially breaks down into three parts: the people in front of you, the people to your right, and the people to your left. Try to make eye contact in all three areas of the audience so everyone feels included. This technique is effective whether you're speaking to three reporters or a crowd of three hundred protestors. During a news conference or a question-and-answer period, make eye contact with the person asking you a question, then maintain eye contact as you answer. If, however, you broaden your answer and direct it to others in the audience, begin by looking at the questioner, then shift your eye contact throughout the entire group to engage the audience as a whole.

Contrary to what others may have told you, it is appropriate to use your hands when you talk. Hands are a wonderful visual aid. They help animate you as you speak, adding life and movement to your words. Too many interviewees muzzle their hands when they speak, likely because they were told to do so either by a parent, teacher, or communications consultant. But in truth, using your hands as you talk makes you look natural. People speak using their hands in everyday conversation, so why should a media interview be any different? When a spokesperson keeps her hands firmly in place, all the anxiety that goes along with talking to the media has no way of escaping her body. Anxiety that does not get released ricochets from head to toe and back again, causing further anxiety. Using your hands when you talk helps release the anxiety, almost as if you were shaking it away.

Hand movements also help those who tend to speak in a monotone have greater vocal inflection, which helps spokespeople deliver messages that sound distinct. Like a conductor controlling an orchestra, you can use your hands to help control your pace, inflection, and tone. To do so, make your hands match the rhythm of your words. Start with your fingers open, slightly spread, and slightly curled, then move your hands in a firm, deliberate motion. As you speak, change the motion to match your content. If you're exploring an idea or concept in greater depth, use a rolling gesture. If you're comparing two distinct concepts or examples, shift your hands from one side of your body to the other. If you're making an apology or expressing contrition, hold your hands out with your palms up. Using these types of deliberate, expressive hand gestures will actually force you to put more energy and passion into your words so that the vocal matches the visual. You see, the hand bone is connected to the voice bone.

When people become anxious, their bodies tighten and they begin to engage in involuntary or unconscious movements. Some people play with their hair, others their glasses. Even former President Bill Clinton, who has masterful body language, was seen repeatedly scratching his nose while appearing before Kenneth Starr's investigative committee. When people lie, their capillaries expand, making the nose itchy. The body doesn't lie.

One of the most prominent forms of leakage is the head nod. Within the context of media interviews, a nodding head gives the impression you agree with what is being said, even though you may not. For instance, imagine your head is bobbing up a storm while the reporter asks, "The concern on Wall Street is that as CEO, you have run this business into the ground and have caused irreparable harm to shareholders. What is your comment?" If you nod while listening to this question, the journalist could write, "Ansell nodded yes when presented with evidence of his failure."

There are at least two reasons why people nod when listening to others. First, the head nod is often delivered as a sign that "I'm listening" or "I care." But sometimes, people nod their heads when listening as a nonverbal way of telling the other person to hurry up and finish talking, so they can jump back in to control the conversation. Regardless, try to avoid nodding your head while listening to a question from a reporter.

Another common form of leakage is the "swallow," which affects everyone, but is mostly noticeable in men. The swallow usually occurs after a hard-hitting question is asked and the respondent swallows in an exaggerated fashion, as if he's been caught in a bluff. When men swallow this way, it's almost as if their Adam's apple is bobbing up and down, announcing to the world, "You got me." Gulping in this manner is an involuntary action, and as such it's difficult to control. But that doesn't mean you need to let other people see it. When you have the urge to nervously swallow, dip your head down to conceal the swallow, then quickly lift your head back up when you're done.

By the way, sometimes you may feel the need to swallow because of a buildup of saliva in your mouth. As an alternative to swallowing, try placing the tip of your tongue behind your two front teeth and then breathe in through your mouth. The saliva quickly disappears and the mouth dries up. What do you do when your mouth gets too dry and you need saliva? Gently bite the inside of your cheek. This creates saliva.

Likewise, be mindful not to purse your lips after completing an answer. When spokespeople are uncomfortable, they tend to press their lips together at the end of their answer, as if to signal to the questioner, "That's all I'm going to say; now you talk." Better to leave your lips slightly ajar. To control this and other forms of inappropriate body language, simply remember to breathe properly and use your hands to talk so you can expel your leakage before it expels itself in a way you cannot control.

A monotone, lifeless voice sounds dull and unconvincing, prompting TV viewers to look for a Seinfeld rerun. If you want people to be interested in your messages, you must sound interesting while delivering them. In media interviews, you want your messages to stand out and be evident. Vocal inflection gives listeners an indication that what you're saying is important and interesting. It helps establish a viewpoint and adds energy and emotion to your words.

Vocal inflection is the alteration between highs and lows in pitch or tone of your voice. For both psychological and physiological reasons, facial expressions greatly affect inflection. For example, when you smile your voice naturally becomes more pleasing because the soft palate rises, making sound waves more fluid. Generally speaking, the wider you open your mouth and the more teeth you show, the better tone you get. In many cases, it's better to start an answer or statement with a low voice so you have room to raise your pitch (energy) when needed to emphasize a point or accentuate an emotion. Your inflection and range of intonation can be greatly increased by breathing properly, as described earlier in this chapter. Your vocal cords tighten when taking short breaths, but they relax and become more flexible with slow, deep breaths.

Emphasizing individual words or clusters of words by speaking louder, softer, higher, or lower can dramatically change the meaning of a message. For example, consider how emphasizing certain words in the following message, as represented by the italics, alters the meaning. To get the full effect, try saying each message out loud as you read it:

Emphasis and Meaning

In some circumstances, you may want to emphasize the person you're addressing. In others, you may want to emphasize yourself, your organization, or the situation at hand. In a tragedy, you'll likely want to emphasize stakeholders or victims as you present your message. To identify the appropriate emphasis in a sentence, repeat your message aloud to see how its meaning changes as you stress different words or phrases.

To help master vocal inflection and modulation, practice by repeating messages while looking in the mirror to see how different facial expressions affect your tone. Then try recording your voice for at least two minutes while still looking in the mirror. Play back the recording to hear how you sound to others and to track how different facial expressions and gestures affect your inflection or change the emphasis on certain words in your message. This will help you synchronize your facial expressions, body language, tone, and inflection, as well as provide the opportunity to practice proper breathing techniques.

Unfortunately, there's no guaranteed formula for a successful interview or news conference. There are, however, three things you can do to ensure your messages are conveyed clearly and effectively.

Executives, spokespeople, and other newsmakers trapped in the media spotlight do not instinctively know the right way to answer challenging or flustering questions from reporters. Following are three common mistakes that are certain to undermine your intended messages and ruin an opportunity to persuade stakeholders.

All good spokespeople have one trait in common—they practice. Like a professional basketball player draining extra jump shots or a surgeon training to perform a complicated procedure, spokespeople must practice basic presentation skills in order to communicate with confidence and credibility.

One of the best ways to practice breathing properly is to establish a system of constant reminders. For example, write "breathe" on a notecard and put it in your shirt pocket. Then, every time you retrieve something from your pocket you'll be reminded to breathe properly. Likewise, put a sticky note on your alarm clock. Then, the first thing you'll see every morning is a reminder to breathe. After you turn off your alarm, take five minutes to practice breathing. You'll be surprised how proper breathing can help reduce tension and anxiety at the beginning of your day. There are very few situations as stressful as being stuck in heavy traffic, especially when you have appointments to keep. Consider placing a note on your dashboard reminding you to breathe. This will acclimate your body to breathing properly in stressful situations. It's also helpful to post signs or notes in your office, at home, and especially on your desk near the phone. When you deliver an important presentation, be sure to post a sticky note on the lectern or write "breathe" at the top of your notes. If you're concerned about reporters seeing the note, just write the letter B. All of these small actions will help you develop the muscle memory necessary to keep breathing even under the most difficult circumstances.

To practice pausing, talking with your hands, and making eye contact, take advantage of social situations like dinner parties, get-togethers, and family reunions. All of these events are opportunities to observe natural communication behaviors and practice effective delivery skills. As you circulate or mingle, work on listening and making eye contact. When you do say something, be sure to pause in order to ensure your comments register. If you have the chance to address a cluster of people, be sure to deliver one thought to one face. Then, shift your eyes to make contact with another person as you continue to speak. Pay close attention to other people's hand gestures during normal conversation and observe how their movements change depending on the tone of the discussion. Try experimenting with different gestures during a conversation and create a mental catalogue of a few movements that seem particularly effective or comfortable. Although these and other social exchanges provide opportunities to refine individual communication skills, one of the best ways to develop a comprehensive understanding of successful messaging behaviors is to perform the following exercise before an important interview or presentation.

Although relatively simple, this powerful five-step exercise will help you become more familiar with your message content, feel more in control of your environment, and reduce excessive nervousness and anxiety. For the best results, try to perform the exercise in front of a colleague, friend, or family member. If no one is available to help, do it in front of a mirror.