BIG DEAL BOOK CLUB

Dear book club hostess, thank you for selecting this book for your book club! As the classic saying goes: There’s a special place in heaven for women who help other women unlock their Big Deal Energy! I can’t wait for you to share all the #BigDealBook stories, insights, and impactful moments that stem from your special time together. Here’s a few starter log questions to help you ignite the dialogue:

1.   When do you naturally feel most like your Big Deal self in your life currently? Why?

2.   When do you feel least like a Big Deal? Why do you think that is?

3.   What is your biggest “superpower”?

4.   What superpower do you wish you had more of in your life? Who do you know in your life that seems exceptionally superpowered in that area? Is there anything that person does that you could borrow or channel the next time you need it?

5.   What is something that you feel afraid of on a daily basis or fairly regularly? (That is, not fear of death, but fear of not being seen by your siblings as successful enough, fear of being rejected by bosses or clients, fear of putting yourself out there again, etc.) Also beware that fear sometimes shows up as worry, so pay attention to when you find yourself saying, “I just worry that . . .” Is your fear (or worry) rooted in a “feeling” or a “fact”?

6.   Is there an area of your life where you feel drained beyond belief but you feel like you don’t have a choice, because it’s just something you “have” to do? What is it? Could you experiment with delegating that responsibility or lessening your role with it? Even if for just one time to see what would happen?

7.   Is there something in your life that you have always dreamed of doing but for adulting purposes you just “can’t”? Maybe it’s an opportunity you regret not taking advantage of, a secret passion, or a wild fantasy, or maybe it’s just asking for more damn money for a job or project? Why “can’t” you? What would happen if you did it anyway? Which is worse: Is it the reaction or result that you’ve been trying to avoid, or Is it the nagging feeling that you never did chase down that desire?

8.    When was the last time you got negative feedback? Was it maybe when you made a tough decision, started something new, or took a chance on something out of your comfort zone? Did that feedback have more to do with you or how your actions made that person feel? If that feedback was in response to something important to you or something you feel fairly clear about, how might you prepare yourself to ignore that feedback the next time?

9.   What is your biggest goal or dream for the next 12 months of your life? What is one tangible thing you can purchase, start, complete, or do to signal to God (or the universe, the world, whatever you believe in) that your Big Deal self is manifesting this dream into existence?

10.   When was the last time you felt jealous of someone? Was it a “healthy competition” jealousy or an “unhealthy comparison” one? If the latter, what is one thing you can do, think, or change to evolve it into the healthier, inspired version?

11.   Who are the 5 to 10 people you are spending the most time with these days? If you had to assign them a jersey for Team Abundance (helping you) or Team Scarcity (hindering you), how many players would you have on each team in this game of your life? If you’re handing out too many Scarcity jerseys, what is one step you can take to recruit a new member into your orbit for Team Abundance? (Obviously this could be a slightly awkward question depending on who is physically present at your book club. If so, you can assign this as follow up individual homework after your event.)

12.   When was the last time you were working toward a goal with incredible focus? Did you ever feel lonely or like you were letting someone else down as an indirect result? Is there one thing you can do to make peace with that?

13.   Please go back to question 7. What was your initial answer about what you really want to do, but you feel stuck or scared or you just “can’t”?

14.   What is one Big Deal action you could take to make your Big Deal dream come true? Is it a new routine, a new discipline, a mindset shift, a new behavior or habit? Maybe you need to leave something or somewhere or someone behind that is blocking your BDE? What, where, and who might that be?

See, here’s the thing. Your entire book club and I know you possess the audacity within you to do this thing once and for all. We already know you’re kind of a Big Deal. What we don’t yet know is whether or not you believe that you are. And the minute you do, when you tap into your BDE to activate your audacity, that is the moment you unlock everything you’ve ever wanted. So say it with us, out loud, as many times as you need to until you believe it.

“I’m kind of a Big Deal.”

Yes, you are.