8 Networking

If you want others to help you, you must first get them
to want to help you.

Chapter Overview

If you were starting a business, how would you promote its features and benefits to potential customers? The challenge remains the same if you’re searching for a job. How will you promote your skills, experience, and achievements to your potential customer—the employer? This chapter will:

Introduce you to a simple three-phase approach that will improve your success at networking for employment.

Show you how to broaden your contacts well beyond those you already have.

Increase your effectiveness at getting your contacts to want to help you.

Improve your ability to ask the right questions to get the help you need.

The main sections in this chapter include:

Why you must network and be effective at it.

Build an effective network in three easy phases.

How to use questions to get your network to want to work for you.

Networking requires a personal commitment.

Suggestions on where to network.

Milestones.

Having a contact network alone won’t help you find a new job or career unless you can get your contacts to want to help you. The effectiveness of your network will be the defining difference between success and a long, drawn-out and potentially unsuccessful search.

Most people think networking for employment is the same as networking for business. They’re quite different, and, if you don’t understand the differences, your network won’t work for you. The guidelines in this chapter focus on networking for a job or for exploring a new career, not networking for business.

Networking for employment is a process that facilitates
connecting you from where you are to where you want to
go in the shortest amount of time possible.

Why You Must Network and Be Effective at It

Research indicates that people who used networking as part of a well-organized and planned job search were successful at finding their next job more than 85 percent of the time.

Other research indicates that, when employers need to recruit management talent, they turn to executive recruiters 64 percent of the time.

What these seemingly contradictory statistics mean is that employers are only able to find senior-level talent using their own sources about one-third of the time. When they’re not successful, they turn to recruiters two-thirds of the time. The five different ways companies try to find senior talent on their own are listed in Chapter 7 (page 148).

Some people might think contacting recruiters makes the most sense, because they handle two-thirds of all management recruitment. You know that wouldn’t be effective, because you’d have to find and then attract the attention of that one recruiter out of more than 20,000 who would be conducting the right search for you. Then, if you’re currently unemployed, you’d have to compete with other candidates who are currently working.

You’ll stand a much better chance that companies will consider you if you use your network of contacts to connect with the appropriate person in the company. Using this approach increases your potential success at finding your next job up to 85 percent.

Knowing which approaches might work for you is only part of the process. You’ll also need to know how to build your network and use it effectively. Because networking will be key to your success at finding what you want, it’s crucial that you get it right.

If you’re making a job change: The contacts you meet and add to your network will help you gather information about your target companies and help you connect with the right people: those who are able to make decisions about employing you.

If you’re making a career change: The contacts you meet and add to your network will help you connect with people who understand whether your anticipated change is right for you. They can evaluate the reasonableness of your thinking and the likelihood of success in making such a change, and they can introduce you to others who may help you find out what you need to know.

Build an Effective Network in 3 Easy Phases

Networking for business is generally easy and straightforward. You meet someone; discuss the features, benefits, and price of a product or service; and then exchange business cards.

When I started my search firm and networked for business, I observed executives who were networking for jobs and noticed the ones who seemed most successful. I asked them how they approached networking and why. Although their explanations varied, they all seemed to share a common theme:

“If I want others to help me in my search, I’ve got to create a relationship with them that makes them want to help me.”

“Once I’ve created that relationship, I need to make sure they know what I want and why my skills and experience qualify me for it.”

Using this new insight, I created a graphic representation with an explanation of the three phases I observed so others could quickly grasp its concept and remember the process more easily.

I use the acronym IOU to represent the three phases: Initiate, Obtain, and Use. The acronym IOU helps you remember these phases.

First, let’s examine each phase so you’re clear about the purpose of each one and can see why you must follow them sequentially.

Phase 1: Initiate

The Initiate phase is when you’re introducing yourself to people with the intent to initiate relationships and develop rapport with them. This phase is similar to what you often do in a social setting.

IOU Networking

You’ll spend the largest amount of your time in this phase and will have to “kiss a lot of frogs,” because you’ll find you won’t like some people, some of them won’t like you, you won’t find any common interest, or the other person simply won’t be interested in you.

Phase 2: Obtain

In the Obtain phase, you’re building on the relationships you successfully created in the Initiate phase so you can obtain support, encouragement, information, and referrals. You need to be careful not to move too quickly from Initiate to Obtain, because you could lose a potentially valuable contact if you haven’t built the relationship first.

In some situations, however, you may find you can proceed more quickly from the Initiate phase to the Obtain phase, such as when you’re at events designed to help people who are in transition connect with each other quickly.

Phase 3: Use

If you’ve successfully initiated and built relationships during the first two phases, you’ll be able to proceed to the Use phase. Here, you’ll be asking your contact for referrals that will directly or indirectly result in your connecting with a person who has the power to employ you.

The acronym IOU is a reminder that when you successfully find your next job or a new career, you owe a huge thank you to those who helped you get there.

Let’s turn to specific objectives you should pursue while in each phase. I’ll suggest some techniques you can use that will help you achieve your objectives.

How to Use Questions to Get Your Network to Want to Work for You

The Networking Objectives Matrix lists your six basic networking objectives and shows the phases when it’s most appropriate to use them.

Because you could have similar objectives in more than one phase, I’ll suggest some ways you can successfully pursue each of the objectives and provide some explanations for how you might adjust your technique, depending on where you are in the process.

1. Initiate Relationships.

This objective seems to be the most difficult for many who held positions where opportunities for networking weren’t an integral part of the job. Even if your job required you to network to develop business (for example, sales), networking for employment will be much different.

When initiating relationships during a job search, bear in mind that your goal is to create a relationship with someone (perhaps not even the person you initially meet), leading to a recommendation for employment for a job or a new career.

If you rush this critical objective and aren’t successful at creating the relationship, you’ll never know what you may have missed—perhaps another connection, a needed insight, or a referral to someone else whom you couldn’t reach any other way. Take your time and do it right.

Illustration by Steven Lait.

When you attend an event, arrive early so you can get a lay of the land and converse with those who also came early. Your conversations will be more relaxed with fewer distractions. As others arrive, you have an opportunity to bring another person into the conversation and re-introduce each other.

If you arrive late, you’ll enter a room where small groups have formed and conversations are already taking place. This can be intimidating and make it more difficult to find a group where you can break in, introduce yourself, and join the conversation. This is particularly important if you are the least bit shy or uncomfortable or inexperienced with networking.

Start by introducing yourself. Depending on the event, you might want to add your occupation/job and industry experience. Lead with questions that elicit a conversation, such as:

“What do you do?”

“What’s your business?”

“How long have you been in business?”

“How long have you been a member of (the organization)?”

“Why are you attending this event?” OR “What brought you here?”

“Have you heard this evening’s speaker before?”

“Do you know anything about the speaker?”

“How did you get started in your business?”

“How did you choose your career?”

“Who are you with?” OR “Who do you work for?”

“What’s the situation in your company since the (current economic situation, recently announced merger, or some other development [based on what you know or have read about the company])?”

“What impact do you see on the industry because of (a topical issue that might affect employment)?”

If you’re attending an industry/trade show, do the following before you go:

Get a list of companies and attendees. Use last year’s list if the current year’s isn’t available. What companies and job titles of the attendees are on the list?

If there’s an industry focus, is it familiar to you, or do you need to research it before attending?

Anticipate what you think will be the objectives of those attending.

Be clear about what your networking objectives will be, but be prepared to modify them based on circumstances.

Check the schedule and note the networking times so you can plan your minutes most effectively.

Don’t take your resume with you. You want to build your network and develop relationships. If you give them your resume too soon, it’s obvious the conversation is all about you and not about them. You risk losing the opportunity to have a further conversation with them.

Arrive early, before the crowd develops, so you can engage people in discussions and avoid competing with others for their attention.

While you’re at the event:

When you meet other attendees, introduce yourself and then ask about them. What do they do? Don’t start by discussing your job or career search. You’re in Phase 1; focus on developing relationships and expanding your network.

Bring up some topical event that can serve as an icebreaker. Ideally, this could relate to the subject of the event or the type of people at the event.

Ask what, in particular, brought them to the event—part of their job, new employee who needs to get up to speed, they’ve lost some people and need to do double-duty, and so forth. (If you don’t ask, you never know what answer you’ll get!)

Ask about their employers or jobs and determine how that relates to the topic of the event.

If you’re attending an event that companies attend to promote their products and services, it will become obvious to them pretty quickly you’re not there because of your interest in what they have to sell. After introducing yourself, ask for permission to have a conversation; for example, ask, “Do you have a few minutes for me to ask you some questions?” If they say, “Not now,” ask if you could talk to them later and, if so, when and where would it be convenient. Offer to meet where you can buy them lunch or a cup of coffee.

Try to find commonalities in your experience or skills that could create a connection between you and your networking targets.

If you’ve created a dialogue, your questioning likely will have elicited some questions about you. If not, the person probably isn’t interested, and you should excuse yourself to find someone else with whom you can have a discussion. Don’t be afraid to end an encounter and move on if the discussion isn’t getting the results you want.

If you’re able to develop an informal connection with someone, and if it’s appropriate and you feel comfortable asking, explain why you’re there. Ask if she has any thoughts on who else you might speak with at the event. If she doesn’t show an interest or make any suggestions, thank her for her time and politely excuse yourself.

If you develop a rapport with someone who seems genuinely interested in you and your situation, exchange business cards and ask if he would be willing to meet you another time so you can pick his brain some more.

If someone asks for your resume, explain that you didn’t bring it because your intent was to gather information that might help you make job or career decisions. Get his business card and assure him you’ll send a copy of your resume tomorrow. When you send your resume, enclose a cover letter thanking him for his time and interest. Add something that helps him remember you from the dozens of others he might have met that day, and clarify any points you couldn’t make when you met. This also gives you an opportunity to follow up with him in the future.

At some events, such as those designed to help executives in transition, you might be able to accelerate moving from the “I” to the “O”—initiating relationships to another objective, such as asking for a referral to another for information. But you must feel confident that the other person is ready to move on. If you’re eager but you’re not sure the other person is ready, you’re better off not rushing it.

When you meet someone who agrees to talk with you further:

Thank him and exchange contact details. Say you’ll call him later to set something up. Don’t try to schedule meetings at networking events.

When you call, thank him again and schedule a time to meet. Mention that you’d like no more than 20 minutes of his time. If he agrees, confirm the date, time, and length of the meeting by sending an e-mail or letter within a couple of days after your telephone conversation. If your meeting is more than a couple of weeks away, send a reminder e-mail or call and leave a message a few days before your meeting.

Suggest meeting for breakfast, coffee, lunch, or an afternoon break, as it may not be appropriate or convenient for them to meet you at work. Dinners are not usually an effective environment at this stage, and they can become expensive quickly. A dinner may be appropriate after you’ve developed a relationship and have met previously.

Be careful about trying to move too quickly when you first meet. You’re likely to lose the contact if the other person thinks you weren’t genuinely interested in what he had to say, but only interested in getting a meeting to ask for a favor. This is an all-too-common mistake, and one that’s extremely important for you to avoid.

2. Expand Your Network.

Your circle of family, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances are the contacts at the core of your network. Those who know each other are your Power Contacts, because they know you and each other. If two of your contacts refer you to the same person, that new person will view you much more comfortably.

You’re probably familiar with the theory of “six degrees of separation,” which holds that you’re only six acquaintances away from anyone else in the world. In a job or career search situation, however, if you choose your contacts carefully, you only have about three degrees of separation.

Beyond three degrees, the quality of the referral often becomes more tenuous and less effective because you’re expecting people to put their reputation on the line to recommend you to others.

The illustration (at right) shows how your network can expand like the ripple effect from a drop of water. One contact leads to another, which leads to another, and so on. People often comment on how contacts at the third degree of separation had a connection or a similar interest that created a close and strong relationship.

Never discount a contact who you think won’t be helpful in your job search because she just might turn out to be the one who refers you to the person you want to contact. The more people in your network who know you and are familiar with your job or career objectives, the greater your chances of finding the job you want in the shortest time possible.

3. Obtain Referrals.

This is the next hurdle. You’ve successfully established a relationship with someone, and now you want to ask for a referral. People often fail at this stage because they don’t have a clear picture in their minds of what they want from a referral. Is it simply to expand your network, to conduct research, or to find someone who’ll support and encourage you?

If you were to ask me, “Could you refer me to someone else?” I’d probably respond, “Possibly.” Now what? If I don’t know what you want, I won’t be able to refer you to the person you need. This may seem obvious, but you only have a few seconds to tell me what kind of a referral you want.

If you don’t start thinking about it until we’re having our conversation, or if you seem the least bit unclear as to what you want, I’m probably going to respond that I don’t think I can help you, when in fact I possibly could. You’ve made an unfavorable impression, and I’m not likely to go out of my way to help you.

When you network, you won’t know whom you’ll be meeting or what kind of a contact they’ll be. Consequently, you’ll have to identify what you think the different options could be, and then decide what you would ask under each set of circumstances.

This may sound overwhelming, but in reality, you’ll only have a few options, such as to find:

A mentor to support and encourage you.

Someone who works in the industry you want to transfer to.

Someone who has made a similar job or industry change as you are considering.

Someone who has worked at and knows about an employer you plan to target.

Prepare a list of questions you think applies to your situation, then review your list before you meet or attend an event. You’ll impress those you meet if it’s obvious you’re clear on what you want from a referral.

Okay, one of your contacts has agreed to refer you to someone else. Now what? Here are some suggestions on how to approach the referral:

Call the referral and mention you’re calling at the suggestion of the referrer. Be prepared for the referral to ask you when and where you last spoke to the referrer and, perhaps, some other questions about the referrer to test whether you’re telling the truth.

Explain in general terms the purpose of your call, taking no more than 30 seconds—for example, “I’m considering making a career change from the X industry to the Y industry, and John suggested I talk to you because you’re an expert in the Y industry and could give me the insight I need.”

Do not attempt to conduct an interview on the telephone. Try to schedule a meeting (breakfast, coffee, lunch). You want to start with some Initiate objectives, because the referral doesn’t know you and may be uncomfortable giving you any serious help until he feels he knows you better.

If the referral presses you for your questions so he can answer them on the phone, explain that you haven’t compiled all your questions yet because you only called to see if he’d be willing to meet, and you were hoping to schedule a meeting. You might add that you’ll be doing further research before you meet that will result in targeted questions.

If the referral agrees to meet, always send an e-mail or letter, or call to confirm your scheduled meeting a few days before the meeting. Remember: Your personal agenda isn’t his.

If, instead of agreeing to meet you, the referral suggests you talk to someone else he knows, get his permission to use his name as a referral. Ask if he’ll call or e-mail the other person to let them know that you’re doing research, for example, and will be calling them.

When you meet your contact or referral:

On the day of your meeting, make sure you arrive early. If you’re meeting at his office, he’ll probably have informed the receptionist or his assistant and ask to be alerted when you arrive. If you arrive right on time, he won’t have heard from his receptionist or assistant and may assume you aren’t coming or will be arriving late. As a result, your meeting might be delayed or even pre-empted. Always plan to arrive 15 to 20 minutes early.

Spend your early time to get comfortable with the surroundings. This is an excellent time for you to practice what to do when you arrive at a company for a job interview. Look around and assess the company environment and culture based on what you see.

When you meet the person, thank him for taking the time to see you and reiterate the purpose of your meeting.

Reconfirm your referral’s time availability. Many people forget how much time they committed and overextend themselves, or sometimes something more important will come up that takes precedence over your meeting. If this person is a referral, spend a few moments reminding him about the person who referred you. Try to understand the relationship between them so you’ll understand the strength of the referral.

Have your notebook handy with your questions, and make sure he can see you really do have a list. Mention you’ll take notes during the conversation. If you agreed to a 20-minute meeting, by the time you finish pleasantries and discussions about the referrer, you’ll only have 15 minutes left. If you take three minutes explaining your background and what you’re looking for (job title, industry, and location), you now have only 12 minutes left to get the answers you came for. Be very sensitive to the time.

Ask the most important questions first, not necessarily in the order you listed them. One of the vagaries of these initial meetings and interviews is that a question you so meticulously created before the interview suddenly seems inappropriate, unnecessary, or out of sequence.

When your allotted time is up, thank the interviewee for his time. If you were unable to ask all your questions, ask if you can meet again to finish your questioning. If he says it’s okay to continue the meeting, finish your questioning. When you’re done, thank him again for his time and comments. Ask if he could suggest someone else you might contact. Let him know the purpose.

If the referrer asks for your resume, mention that you’re in a research mode to gather more information so you can make more informed decisions about your job or career change. You didn’t bring a resume with you because it isn’t complete. If he would like to see one, tell him you’ll send a draft when you get home. Ask if he prefers you send it by e-mail or mail. If he chooses email and asks you to send it to his company e-mail address, reconfirm his choice; some employers scan e-mail messages for the word “resume” and company firewalls often delete attachments. When you return home, send a thank-you e-mail or letter, enclosing your resume (only if it was requested). In your email/letter, reiterate what you’re seeking, what questions you’re trying to answer, or what issues you’re trying to resolve.

If the referral tells you he “may have a potential opening for someone like you,” thank him for considering you. Mention that you’re flattered, but that you need to complete your research. Ask when he plans to make a decision about the position, because you might be interested, and you’d like to know how long the opportunity would be available.

4. Obtain Support and Encouragement.

You’ll have two basic groups of contacts in your network. One will be those closest to you or with whom you have a very close relationship (I’ll refer to these as friends), and the other group will be those who help you answer a question, clarify an issue, and/or send you on to see another person (I’ll refer to these as acquaintances).

Your friends will serve as your personal champions. They know you best. You can ask them questions about whether they really think the career option you’re considering is right for you. You can rely on this group to tell you what you need to know—not what you want to hear—and you can trust that their information will be in your best interest.

Most of your friends have known you for several years, and some are familiar with you in a work setting. A few will come from your networking, particularly as a result of two or more of your referrers as noted in Number 2 previously on expanding your network.

To create a relationship as a friend, you’ll have to open up and be receptive to criticism and hearing what you need to hear. Your friends need to know enough about you to be able to talk about you in a way similar to how you would do it yourself.

Keep your friends informed on how you’re progressing on a regular basis. Keep them aware of whom you talk to and what you learned, what you’ll do next, and when. You want them to be your coaches, and you want them to see themselves that way. A coach doesn’t tell you what to do, but supports, encourages, and holds you accountable for what you say you’ll do.

Nurture these relationships. Meet your friends occasionally for breakfast or lunch, but keep the conversation focused on your search. Make commitments to them about what you’ll do, gain their perspectives, and ask if they see something you might be missing. Encourage them to hold you accountable for achieving your objectives.

If they’re new friends, make them feel like they’ve known you for years and can vouch for what you tell others. Consider getting some or all of the people in this group together at one time and introduce them to each other so they know who else supports you. By doing that, you help them expand their own networks.

Don’t expect your friends to help you if they don’t know enough about you. Make sure they have a current version of your resume, and review it with them in detail so they’re comfortable talking about you when someone calls for a reference. You’re responsible for making sure your friends believe:

You’ve communicated your goals and achievements succinctly and clearly.

Your career goals are consistent with your skills and experience.

You’re qualified for the job or career opportunity you want.

Your achievements demonstrate your skills and experience.

You and your job-search or career-change goals are in alignment with each other.

They are comfortable being in this group and being your champion.

They can talk to others about you with conviction and assurance that they know you well.

5. Obtain Information for Research.

Your second group, your acquaintances, will be those you meet with the intent to obtain something that helps you make decisions or clarify your strategy. Richard Nelson Bolles, in his career book, What Color is Your Parachute? (Ten Speed Press, published annually) refers to this process as Informational Interviewing.

Partly because of the success of Bolles’s book, too many people have misused the intent of Informational Interviewing as a ruse to get themselves in front of someone to ask for a job.

Rather than saying you’re doing Informational Interviewing and then see people roll their eyes, explain that you’re conducting research, and make sure you have a clear idea of what you want. For example, when you’re conducting research, you’re looking for answers to the following:

Information on an industry or organization.

Referral to someone who’s made a career change similar to the one you’re contemplating.

Help and suggestions on how to translate your experience in a specific industry to a new one that your contact knows.

Knowledge of opportunities within an industry or a specific company and how you can position yourself to pursue a job or career change.

Referral to someone in an industry you want to transfer to so you can discuss the appropriateness of your skills and experience as they relate to that industry, and whether you can translate your experience to their industry.

Referral to someone who can answer questions about your relocating to a specific area.

Using the examples of how to approach a referral in the previous sections, make sure you clearly communicate what you want to talk to her about and why.

Give her an estimate of how much time you think you’ll need (a 15- to 20-minute meeting is common) and ask if that’s okay for her. If it isn’t, ask how much time she can give you.

When you go, have an agenda with your questions. Make sure they are open-ended and can’t be answered by a yes or no. If you ask broad questions, you may find you get all the answers you wanted, including some you hadn’t thought about. Here are some examples of questions you can ask:

“Can you tell me about your position (or job)?

“Can you tell me about your company (or division or subsidiary)?”

“Can you tell me about your industry?”

“What do you like most and least about your job (or company or industry)?”

“What are some of the pros and cons of your job (or company or industry)?”

“What would you consider to be your company’s ‘hot buttons’?”

“How did you go about getting your job?”

“What specific skills and experience are required for your job?”

“How is your company organized?” OR “How are companies in this industry typically organized?”

“What do you think are the most important skills or skill sets for someone to have?”

“What’s the typical career path for people in this field (or industry)?” (There are often classic career paths in some fields—for example, from sales associate to territory sales manager to regional sales manager to national or product sales manager to VP Sales. You’ll want to assess whether and how that might restrict you if you’re making a career change.)

“How would you view the transferability of my skills to this industry?”

“I’m researching whether I can transfer my skills and experience in my own industry to [name of the new industry]. Do you know anyone I could talk to who has made a similar change?”

“What educational requirements or qualifications would be needed for this new job?”

“How would you suggest that someone with my skills and experience go about making a job or career change to your industry?”

“Could you refer me to someone else who might be able to help me decide about this planned career change?” (Even if the person was able to help you with answers to many of your questions, ask for referrals so you can expand your network.)

“I’m exploring a [job title] position at [employer], but I haven’t been able to find [the name of a person you want, how they handle recruitment, who’s responsible for a division, etc.]. Can you help me?”

“Do you know companies in this field?” If so, “What do you think would be the most appropriate way to contact ABC Company?”

“Do you know someone at XYZ Company to whom you could introduce me?” If not, “Do you know someone else who might have contacts in XYZ Company to whom you could introduce me?” (The person you want to reach for a referral doesn’t necessarily have to be a company employee.)

“Do you know anyone else I could talk to who might be able to assist me in making my career transition?”

“What trends do you see that might affect the job (or company or industry) that I should consider?”

At the end, ask if there is anything you didn’t ask that she thinks you should know.

Be mindful. The purpose of your meeting is to obtain information, viewpoints, ideas, and referrals that will help you make decisions. Also, you’re seeking to make contact with others who can get you closer to a target company. Don’t attempt to get referrals for employment during an initial meeting.

However, if you and the referral develop a good relationship during this meeting, it’s an opportunity to ask her if she’d be willing to meet again after you’ve completed your research and have a better idea how you plan to make your transition. At that meeting, if she feels you’re on target, ask her if she would be willing to introduce you to someone for possible employment. If you’re successful at this, you will have moved her from an acquaintance to a friend.

This leads to the next objective: get referrals for employment.

6. Get Referrals for Employment.

You’ve invested a lot of time in your contacts: getting to know them, getting them to know you, and educating them about what you do, where you’ve worked, what you’ve achieved, and what you want to find. If you’ve built that relationship properly, you should now be able to leverage your relationships into referrals for employment.

This objective is only appropriate in the Use phase because you’re asking your referral to use all the information she now knows about you and put her reputation on the line to refer you to someone for employment. You may be comfortable with the relationship to ask her, but, if she isn’t comfortable with you, she’s not going to risk her reputation to refer you to someone who can employ you.

You also need to be sure that the person you’ll be asking to refer you for employment is the one you want. Do you know her well enough to know whether the person she’ll refer you to respects her and her judgment? Are you certain she carries enough weight to influence a potential meeting with your target person (that is, the person who can employ you)?

You may have only one opportunity for a referral to your target person. If that referrer isn’t the right one, your target person probably won’t be receptive to a second attempt from another of your contacts.

When you’re confident you want your contact to make a referral, here are some examples of what you can ask her to do:

Refer you to your target person by calling him on your behalf or sending him an e-mail or letter introducing you.

Refer you to another person external to the company who can introduce you to your target person.

Introduce you to someone within the company who can facilitate your connecting with your target person.

You may encounter situations where your contacts don’t have a direct link to your target person, or don’t have any ideas that could help you. It will be up to you to connect the dots for them by giving them various options they haven’t considered.

Thinking about what you should have asked after you leave your meeting won’t be of much help to you. More importantly, your lack of preparation could weaken your contact’s confidence in your thought process and capabilities.

Although asking for referrals assumes you’re in the Use phase, you might be able to ask for a referral in the Obtain phase. You’ll need to feel you’ve developed a strong enough relationship where the other person will feel comfortable making a referral.

Here’s an example of how you can ask your contact a series of questions, assuming she answers each question with a no: Let’s assume your contact knows that you’re looking for a Chief Production Officer position in the XYZ industry in the Chicago area, with a particular interest in Albatross Industries. You could ask, “Do you know anyone at Albatross whom I might talk to about a potential opportunity there?”

If your contact answers with a no, follow with, “Do you know someone else who might know someone at Albatross?”

If your contact answers with a no, you can ask, “Do you know anyone who works for a competitor of Albatross?”

If your contact answers no, you can revert to an Obtain phase type of question and ask, “Do you have any thoughts on how I might connect with someone who works at Albatross?”

If she tells you nothing comes to mind, but she’ll think about it and let you know, you could suggest that she also think about companies in Albatross’s supply chain. For example, whom do they buy from (significant vendors) and whom do they sell to (significant customers)?

When you’re trying to come up with your questions, assume she’ll answer negatively to each one and be prepared to ask a follow-up question. If you don’t, I guarantee you’ll think of at least one question later that you’ll wish you had asked.

Networking Requires a Personal Commitment

Asking the right questions is a major part of successful networking for employment. Equally important, though, is how you come across to others when you network. If others perceive that you’re just going through the motions, they won’t see you as being personally committed.

When you ask questions, make sure you’re interested in the answer. If you ask illogical questions or follow-up questions that are inconsistent with your line of thought, your contact may conclude you’re not interested in him and just asking questions to appear interested. When your contact responds to a question, think about what he said and not about the next question you want to ask.

Show others you’re genuinely interested in them by being an active listener. Here are some suggestions:

Look at them while they speak.

Show genuine interest in their comments by nodding and making encouraging acknowledgments (for example, “Uh-huh. You’re right”; “Yeah, I see what you mean”; “Really?”; “That’s interesting”; “Oh?”; and “I see”).

Watch other people’s facial expressions, arm gestures, and body language for signs of enthusiasm, boredom, or indications that they want to leave and talk to someone else.

Listen to (don’t just hear) what they have to say and respond appropriately.

Gauge the effect you’re having on people. Are they backing away? Do they seem distracted or preoccupied with something else? Are they looking around, trying to catch another person’s eye? Are they responding like an active listener?

Be sensitive to their needs. Don’t tie up too much of their time. If it seems appropriate to move on, thank them for their time and perhaps ask to exchange business cards.

The following two figures on page 174 highlight those techniques that increase—or decrease—the effectiveness of your networking.

Suggestions on Where to Network

Networking requires a serious investment of your time to make and develop new contacts. You must get out, network, and meet people. As you do, you’ll meet others doing the same thing. Share your experiences with them, and they’ll share theirs with you. The Career Center on www.ExecGlobalNet.com includes a list of networking organizations that you might want to consider to get you started.

Here are suggestions regarding where to network:

Identify as many networking groups in your location as possible, attend each one, and evaluate their potential to help you.

Groups that focus on developing business are great if you want to start and grow a consulting practice or a small business, but they aren’t very effective if you’re trying to find a job.

If you’re trying to shift to a new industry, focus on attending functions or groups in the new industry.

Ask your friends and former colleagues for suggestions on where to network.

If you’re a member of a national professional association, check out the association Website to see if they have a local discussion group or chapter where members meet and exchange information.

Search the Internet. Try Google, Yahoo, and other directories and search engines.

Contact business networking organizations. There are venture capital and technology-related networking groups around the United States.

Contact your local chamber of commerce for referrals to organizations in your area.

Contact the banquet office of local hotels and ask for the names of groups that book events on a recurring monthly basis.

Contact a local university and ask the business school or graduate school for names of networking groups. Ask the department that covers your field of interest for names of networking groups in your functional area.

Contact outplacement firms near where you live and ask where they encourage their clients to network. Some sponsor networking events where they invite employers. Some also allow non-clients to attend in order to encourage more employers to attend.

Contact recruiters in your area, tell them what you’re looking for (job, industry, and location), and ask them where they network or if they can suggest where you might network. Recruiters network to develop business, and, because they often specialize by industry, they’re usually familiar with the best places to network for that industry.

Seek out nonprofit associations and organizations in your community and volunteer to use your expertise to help them accomplish some objective or to serve on the board or committees. Commit to take charge of your area of responsibility with gusto, be active, and stand out as a breath of fresh air and someone who gets things done.

Offer to lead a seminar or workshop on a subject in your area of expertise for a group and notify your local newspaper. Many newspapers have calendars of events covering subjects that would be of interest to their readers. Contact the chamber of commerce, library, or community service clubs (Rotary, Kiwanis, and so forth) in your community for suggestions on a venue.

Use Internet networking sites, such as Linkedin, Plaxo, and others, to look for connections to companies. Be careful about making others aware that you are looking to make a job or career change as that information may find its way to your current employer.

It’s preferable to network in the location where you want to work, but sometimes that’s not realistic. For example, if you want to relocate to Southern California and you live on the East Coast, your networking on the East Coast won’t be nearly as effective as if you were networking in Southern California.

If you’re looking for opportunities at other locations, you’ll want to focus on asking questions about companies that might be opening or expanding a facility where you want to work. Try also to build a network of people in your area who can introduce you to others where you want to work or to those in your area who have responsibility for operations in the area where you want to work.

Milestones

The following milestones recap what you need to do to complete this chapter. Include those items you are unable to complete in your summary-level open-items list.

1. Begin to gather the names of people to include in your initial contact list. Indicate your relationship with them, and consider grouping them by relationship: friends and acquaintances. Focus only on names at first.

2. If you’re making a job change, practice your 30-second pitch about what you’re seeking until you feel comfortable that you can say it without hesitation.

3. If you’re pursuing or exploring a career change, practice what you’ll tell people about what you’d like to do and what information you’re trying to obtain to help you make a decision. Be as brief as possible.

4. If you’re changing jobs, prepare a list of topics that you can use to get your existing circle of contacts up to speed about what you’ve accomplished and what you’re targeting in your job search.

5. If you’re pursuing or exploring a possible career change, prepare a list of questions that you want to ask others. Don’t try to determine whom you’ll ask at this stage; just focus on the type of information you want to know.

6. Prepare a list of possible networking organizations and contact each to determine the profile of attendees, cost to join, frequency of meetings (and cost of meetings, if any), average number of attendees per meeting, and opportunities for your involvement. Determine which organizations should be your focus.

7. Contact local hotels to determine which organizations hold monthly meetings at their facility. Obtain contact details for organizations that interest you.

8. Search the Internet for trade shows, contact your local chamber of commerce and other organizations, and ask acquaintances if they know of networking opportunities.

9. Contact outplacement firms that have an office in your area and ask if they know any networking groups that are open to the public. Ask if you can attend their networking events.

10. Contact recruiters in your area and ask if they know any formal or informal networking groups that meet on a regular basis for executives in transition. These groups often ask recruiters to be speakers at their events.

11. Ask recruiters where they network.