Day Twenty-Four. Don’t Be Righteous: Show Mercy

Most of us think that if other people were to think just like us, the world would be a better place. Remember that we naturally believe that what we think is right. And when people don’t think like us and don’t behave like us, we are often intolerant. We often want to see people punished for being different (though, of course, we wouldn’t admit this). For example, more and more behaviors are criminalized in the U.S. because of intolerance for others’ lifestyles. Consider prostitution. Many people find it disgusting and perverted. They therefore want prostitutes punished (for their repulsive behavior). Similarly, many people are upset by the idea of recreational drug use. They see people who engage in recreational drugs as social menaces. They feel a sense of righteousness when drug users are locked up (even though they themselves might drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, or use mind-altering prescription drugs). Because there are now more people in jail in the U.S. per capita than in any other country in the world does not bother them. Throw away the key is their method! Show no mercy, their watchword! Make them suffer, their clarion call! Compassion, tolerance, and understanding are rare commodities. Though most people are compassionate toward their own family and close friends, few demonstrate compassion and tolerance toward those who think and act differently from themselves.

“We hand folks over to God’s mercy, and show none ourselves.”

—George Eliot

Be on the lookout for...

...opportunities to show mercy to others, and to display understanding, compassion, and forgiveness. Imagine a world in which doing so were routine.

Notice the extent to which others around you favor punishment and suffering as the proper response to “deviant” behavior. Notice the extent to which you do. As you read the newspaper, notice that severe sentences often are meted out for “crimes” that injure no one except the perpetrator.

Ask yourself how often punishment is extreme (in causing human suffering). Consider “three-strikes-and-you’re-out” legislation. Consider the practice of trying children as adults. Consider “adult crime, adult time” legislation (laws aimed at giving adult-length sentences to children convicted of serious crimes). Also familiarize yourself with the approach of other countries (for example, Finland) that successfully return criminals to socially meaningful lives as soon as possible, with a low rate of repeat offenders. Think of ways to deal with cultural deviance without extreme punishment and social vengeance.

Strategies for showing compassion and mercy

• Whenever you think someone should be punished for his or her actions, stop and ask yourself whether the greater good might not be better served in some other way. For example, would it not be better, in many cases, to think rehabilitation rather than prison?

• Whenever you think you are absolutely right and you judge another person’s behavior to be intolerable, ask yourself: “What reasons do I have to support my view? How do I know I’m right? Could I be wrong? Am I being intolerant?”

• Study the situations that you find yourself most lacking in mercy, forgiveness, and understanding. In what situations do you think people should be punished rather than helped? On what reasoning do you base your conclusions?

• Consider the influence of social conditioning on your ability to see things from multiple perspectives. To what extent does your culture encourage or discourage forgiveness and mercy? To what extent does your culture encourage revenge upon, and condemnation and punishment of, the “wicked”? To what extent have you uncritically accepted righteous and merciless views encouraged by your culture?