Day Twenty-Five. Vow to Spend No Time Worrying

Many people go through life worrying about problems rather than actively working to solve them. Sometimes they obsess about problems they can do nothing about. Consider the wisdom in this simple Mother Goose rhyme:

For every problem under the sun,
there is a solution or there is none.
If there be one, seek till you find it.
If there be none, never mind it.

It is remarkable how seldom people follow this sage advice. When faced with a problem, do your best thinking to see if you can find a solution. Open your mind to alternative possibilities. If you determine that you cannot solve the problem, let it go. Worrying and obsessing about something out of your control is emotionally painful and fruitless. Realize that, to the extent that you worry, instead of actively looking for solutions, your mind is failing you. Force your reflective mind into action. Identify the real options and determine the best one. Focus your energy on pursuing it. If there is nothing you can do in the situation, let it go; turn your mind to something productive.

“Worry is interest paid on trouble before it becomes due.”

—W.R. Inge

Be on the lookout for...

...when you worry about problems rather than taking action to solve them. Notice when you worry while presenting a calm, unruffled exterior. Notice the negative emotions you experience when you worry. Notice when others worry, fail to act (when they can), and instead waste energy emoting about a problem. When you begin to worry, apply the Mother Goose rhyme to the situation. Act to solve problems (when you can). Let them go if you can’t.

Worrying never adds to, but instead diminishes, the quality of your life.

Strategies for relinquishing the worrying habit

• For every problem you have difficulty handling, follow Mother Goose. Ask yourself:

• What precisely is the problem?

• What are my options? Is there a possible solution under my control? Have I exhausted all possibilities for a solution? Have I considered every option available to me?

• If this is a problem I cannot solve, or if I have exhausted all realistic options, am I letting go of the problem? Or am I still worrying about it? If so, why?

• Make a list of all the problems you worry about. Then go through the preceding steps for each one.

• Make a list of all the problems you have ever worried about and the results of those worries. To what extent did worrying help solve the problems? What were some consequences of your worrying? Which of these problems could you have solved through good thinking?

• Be proactive whenever you can. When faced with a troubling situation, don’t allow your energy to be sapped by fretful worrying and obsessing. Instead, take action whenever you can, and to whatever extent you can. Use your energy productively, rather than destructively.

• Suppose you have done your best thinking about a problem but nevertheless have been unable to solve it. Notice your mind beginning to worry. At that point, immediately intervene with productive thinking. Remind yourself of the Mother Goose rhyme. Rethink the situation. Dig up new relevant information you previously missed, if possible. Keep concentrated on action. Be a doer, not a worry wart.